Attention all!

[FlyingDumbo]

My husband would like an award for loading and turning on the dishwasher. I am trying not to punch him. Please keep in mind I do this task every single day of my life. He said I don't seem to appreciate his help. I do appreciate that he did it, and I did thank him as soon as I saw it had been done. What am I supposed to do throw a party?

Alert the presses!!!! The dishes were done, today March 6, 2011.

 

[Megan_J]

My boyfriend almost never does the dishes and I was shocked the other day when he actually loaded the dishwasher and started it. I think there may be a virus going around.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I've lived with my DH for five years. In those five years, I'll say I've done 90% of the laundry. Actually, 90% of ALL chores.

A couple months ago, I was sick, and my DH did 90% of all household chores.

I STILL hear about it, like I never did anything BEFORE that month, and nothing AFTER.

 

[Disfan1]

Yep, he'll get the same award my DH gets when he does his own laundry.

I swear, he'll meet me at the door and announce "I did my own laundry today!" like he wants a sticker or something LOL

 

[bballmom56]

Give him a break. The more you praise and encourage, the more likely he will be to help again.

 

[FlyingDumbo]

Give him a break. The more you praise and encourage, the more likely he will be to help again.

Like a pet? Because smacking him with a newspaper for the bad habits seems appealing. Perhaps I am in a bad mood today.

 

[PrincessDana]

I never understood why cleaning up after YOURSELF is considered "helping out."

 

[bballmom56]

Like a pet? Because smacking him with a newspaper for the bad habits seems appealing. Perhaps I am in a bad mood today.

If it works, does it matter what species it is?

 

[Carly_Roach]

Give him a break. The more you praise and encourage, the more likely he will be to help again.

I'm in this camp. There's nothing wrong with being nice to your DH.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

DH and I decided that they were my dishes and his dishwasher.

He rearranges MY dishes in HIS dishwasher.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I'm in this camp. There's nothing wrong with being nice to your DH.

Boy, what would us women do if we needed a pat on the back or gold star every time we cleaned a toilet or folded a pair of clean underwear!

"Honey! You're home! I washed my bras today! Aren't you proud of me!"

I clean all 2000 sq. ft. of this house every damn week and don't seek out praise. Somebody's got to do it. Why is it so "impressive" when a man helps? Its his house too... SHOULDN'T he help?

 

[SaraJayne]

Boy, what would us women do if we needed a pat on the back or gold star every time we cleaned a toilet or folded a pair of clean underwear!

"Honey! You're home! I washed my bras today! Aren't you proud of me!"

I clean all 2000 sq. ft. of this house every damn week and don't seek out praise. Somebody's got to do it. Why is it so "impressive" when a man helps? Its his house too... SHOULDN'T he help?

I totally agree with you.

Hope you were sitting down.

 

[shortbun]

Grab a dirty fork, tie a string on it and hang it around his neck. That should satisfy his need for recognition. Why would he think he's needs to be thanked? Is it not his home as well? Buy him some DVD's of Ozzie and Harriet or Leave it To Beaver, maybe Donna Reed. He is confused.

 

[AKL_Megs]

I totally agree with you.

Hope you were sitting down.

Thankfully, I was!

 

[tasha99]

It's hilarious that men are like that, but my advice is to throw a party. Yay! He helped. Woo hoo! If you give him lots of kudos for it, maybe he'll do it again.

 

[shortbun]

My husband does the cooking and the laundry. He never asks for thanks. Who the heck are you guys married to? This is 2011 for heaven's sake. WTH? Some of you REALLY think he deserves praise???? Is this some sort of cult, Stepford mindset? Do these same men expect to be met by their wives, freshly showered, barefood with a coctail in hand when they walk through the door at night? This is a crazy thread!! I am very grateful for my evolved spouse, very, very grateful. I WILL thank him for THAT but believe me, he doesn't expect it.

 

[KathyTX]

Yep, he'll get the same award my DH gets when he does his own laundry.

I swear, he'll meet me at the door and announce "I did my own laundry today!" like he wants a sticker or something LOL

ROFL!!! Maybe you *should* pick up some stickers to award him with!

 

[shortbun]

It's hilarious that men are like that, but my advice is to throw a party. Yay! He helped. Woo hoo! If you give him lots of kudos for it, maybe he'll do it again.

Baloney, treat him bad and hope he slinks away. You can hire someone to come in and do your housework. Find an enlightened man who will want to be your partner.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Boy, what would us women do if we needed a pat on the back or gold star every time we cleaned a toilet or folded a pair of clean underwear!

"Honey! You're home! I washed my bras today! Aren't you proud of me!"

I clean all 2000 sq. ft. of this house every damn week and don't seek out praise. Somebody's got to do it. Why is it so "impressive" when a man helps? Its his house too... SHOULDN'T he help?

I guess that all depends. If he's going to be critcized on how he does the laundry or dishes, then no - I don't blame anyone (man or woman) for not helping out with a chore. Furthermore, you're a stay-at-home wife/mother aren't you? Isn't cleaning the house your job in the first place? Does he get praise every day for going to work and bringing in a paycheck that allows you to stay in that 2,000 sq ft home? Isn't cleaning that 2,000 sq ft house your responsibility in the marriage since you're not doing anything else to support the upkeep of that domicile?

Perhaps if both the man and woman were working, I could maybe see getting on his case about not doing any chores. Maybe. DH and I both work, yet we've settled on an equitable solution that fits in both our comfort zones: he does the outside chores, I do the inside. Neither one is more important than the other. I don't make a big fuss over him every time he shovels the snow or mows the lawn, nor does he make a big fuss over me every time I pick up his clothes or do the dishes after dinner. (Although occasionally we'll do something nice for each other like I'll have hot coffee or chocolate waiting for him when it's really cold out; he'll make his special dishes every once in awhile AND clean up the kitchen afterward)

Every once in awhile I'll mow the lawn or he'll do the laundry, and we're each appreciative of the other one when they go outside their own comfort level because they're making a special gesture of saying, "I love you and I know you're beat this week. I'll do this for you." So we keep the critiquing of how they did that chore to a minimum and simply appreciate the gesture.

That's been our experience and it works for us. YMMV, though.

 

[N&B'smom]

Well, if it is a virus like one poster suggested, my husband is either immune or got a vaccine to prevent it.