At what age is it no longer appropriate for kids to be pantless when company is over?

[kashzan]

Have a silly question
The op wants to know when it is no longer appropriate for a kid to not wear pants in his home .
My question is When IS IT appropriate for someone , anyone to pit a husband against in wife in a child raising situation? NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, AND WHO THEY ARE ,IT IS NEVER OK TO PIT PARENTS AGAINST EACH OTHER IN THEIR CHILDS BEHAVIOR, ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF THAT CHILD.

 

[VandVsmama]

When is it a good idea to ask a child-rearing question on the DIS?

Never. You will be put in the stocks and have rotten vegetables thrown at you because everything is your fault & you are a horrible person. LOL

What I find culturally interesting is how this and other similar threads go up into the dozen-plus pages yet a thread about somebody in Hollywood making jokes about child molestation gets a sort of "meh" reaction. Like "meh, he deserves his job back."

But ask about a 5 yr old's pants? OMG, PUT HER ON THE RACK!

 

[BLAZEY]

@BLAZEY
Just wondering, but is the yard where you were eating open to the view of the neighbors or does it have a tall privacy fence?

5 foot fence. Both neighbours with 2nd story decks that look into the yard. Neighbours would have full view

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

5 foot fence. Both neighbours with 2nd story decks that look into the yard. Neighbours would have full view

Yes, but one side is your sister's. Correct?

 

[BLAZEY]

I think everyone at the table should be dressed. Is that weird?

Me too.

 

[mummabear]

Nope, joined and already existing conversation between DMum and Aunt discussing it.

Just because you didn't start the conversation, doesnt mean you didn't talk behind her back. You chose to join the conversation.

 

[BLAZEY]

Yes, but one side is your sister's. Correct?

No both the neighbours on both side of the original property still have full view of the yard.

 

[gotomu212]

No, I had no issues with her asking my DD to wash her hands before dinner, because she should.

You know what would have made a bigger incident is if we up and left the dinner table. My mother would have been horrified that we took that drastic action. And she wouldn't have been mad at us. She would have been embarrassed that invited guests didn't feel welcome at her table (it was DMUM's table, not sisters). I know because we all (DMum, Aunt , DH and myself) talked about it when Dsis and DBil took the kids to bed after dinner. Apparently he doesn't wear undies at breakfast. (Before the building of the suite for mum they all lived in the one house and DMum was disgusted by that too) But that's not my business, I don't eat at THAT table thank GOD. DMUM does tell him to go get dressed before she will serve breakfast before he comes over to her suite. When food is served at the table having bottoms over underpants on and washed hands basic human decency, not to mention table manners. But you all have me convinced next time he shows up at doe dinner without bottoms on, rather than saying " Hey Buddy time to put pants on, dinner's almost ready" We'll all just get up from the table and leave. That will go over well.

This whole setup just sounds miserable. If Grandma refuses to watch both grandkids together, is disgusted by how grandson dresses for meals, and talks about her own kids to others why in the world would she want to live with them even in a MIL suite?

And why would you keep going to family dinners where spouses are bickering, kids are peeing at the table, and everyone talks about people when they leave? I would switch it up and invite mom to my place for awhile if formal Sunday dinner was this much of a strained situation.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

No both the neighbours on both side of the original property still have full view of the yard.

I bet they could see everyone in their bathing suits too. If the neighbours are so offended they can put up a higher fence.

 

[Hikergirl]

Me too.

At your house you get to make the rules.
You weren't at your house, so your rules for proper dinner attire don't matter.
Besides if what you say is true about him being allowed to not wear underwear while eating breakfast, his parent's idea of "dressed" may be different than yours.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

5 foot fence. Both neighbours with 2nd story decks that look into the yard. Neighbours would have full view

My opinion wouldn't have changed no matter how the fence was or wasn't- I think everyone should wear clothes outside their bedroom. With dinner being held outside though, it did make me curious as that no longer leaves the kid "just around family."

It doesn't seem far-fetched to expect everyone to wear pants especially when outside and potentially in view of non-family.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I can’t believe that this is still going on.

Of course as long as you and I and everyone else post it will continue. I do wonder why someone comes back to a thread they've posted on and "liked" several times makes this type statement.

 

[Hrhpd]

I got a different impression from the original post. I sort of felt that there might be more of a power struggle in the family, due to the fact that the poster mentioned that grandmom has sold an interest in the house to the brother and sister-in-law. I seems to me that maybe the poster feels that she has some implied influence in what happens there because is was a childhood home. It's not polite of a guest, and she is one, to demand anything of a child without the parents input. So I would say that she feels a bit entitled and in the big picture is way more "at fault" than the family members criticized. All of this is making a mountain out of a molehill, but the attitude of the original poster would have annoyed me. Even her discussion of who will agree to babysit the kids was a patronizing and offputting.

According to previous posts by the OP, the entire house was sold to the sister, not a partial interest.

I agree that children at 5 need to be wearing pants. Your post gets to the crux of the issue here. This wasn't about pants but about a power struggle with the sister.

The OP was incredibly rude to believe that she has "rights" at her sister's house. It is her sister's house now and just because it is her childhood home doesn't give her any extra say over it. She wouldn't have any say over the house if Mom sold it to strangers, so why would she have "rights" at her sister's house?

 

[Hrhpd]

Our pools that have food service all have signs stating you must be fully dressed to buy food. Only time I have not seen the sign is at the ice cream that randomly sometimes shows up at the lake. But that's take away food, not at a dinner table.

I just spent a week at the beach at a country club beach club. Most of the people came off the beach with their suits and just a cover up to eat at the beach restaurant there. It was an outdoor sit down restaurant.

 

[DeniseJH]

That is quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I've ever read on this website. Your whole family is going to get up and leave over a child not wearing pants? Talk about an overreaction.

I think that was her point.

 

[disykat]

I just don’t think not wearing pants is a big deal. You talk about rules and if it’s a rule in someone’s house than sure they should wear pants. I’ll be more worried about how my kid treats others. I want him to follow the rules but for me with family coming over at five it wouldn’t have been a hard rule to wear pants. Again, I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal and it was just an opinion. Unless there’s a law somewhere saying after 2 kids have to have on pants all day all the time then rules are different in each persons house. No kid is exempt from any rules no matter the age. But the rules from the parent as long as no harm is being caused to others. You can disagree with me and that is totally fine.

You totally missed my point of quoting you. I totally get that some people don't think pants are a big deal. If adults weren't expected to wear pants then I would totally agree that kids (of any age) shouldn't have to either. What I don't get is the differing expectations for kids under age 8 vs. adults. I was reacting to what I read as an opinion that kids under 8 have different clothing norms than adults. I have a differing belief - that kids beyond toddlerhood learn to follow the same clothing norms as the adults. Of course we can have different opinions. That's why this discussion even exists - different opinions!

 

[Skellingtonj]

Yes pants and a 5 year old should be friends. No you should not get between your sister and her husband.

 

[Summer2018]

Are the Pantless Wonder and his family aware that total strangers have been discussing them on a 17 page thread in a Disney themed forum?

 

[ShayBells]

You totally missed my point of quoting you. I totally get that some people don't think pants are a big deal. If adults weren't expected to wear pants then I would totally agree that kids (of any age) shouldn't have to either. What I don't get is the differing expectations for kids under age 8 vs. adults. I was reacting to what I read as an opinion that kids under 8 have different clothing norms than adults. I have a differing belief - that kids beyond toddlerhood learn to follow the same clothing norms as the adults. Of course we can have different opinions. That's why this discussion even exists - different opinions!

At 8 or 9 you start to mature a little more and start to become more conscious of how people perceive you. At five you basically don’t give a hoot. It’s being innocent and carefree and wonderful and with body image issues maybe we should let kids be pant less a little bit more before they start worrying about how they look.

ETA: that’s why that number came to my mind.

 

[ShayBells]

Who decided that it’s proper etiquette to wear pants at the dinner table cause I looked up Emily Post and it’s not even in her top 10