At what age do you let your teens read "adult" books?

[IDoDis]

My 13 year old DD is asking if she can read some of my books. Some of them I don't have a problem with, but some have adult content that I just don't think is appropriate for a 13 year old. She claims she's "mature enough" to handle it.

Yesterday she asked if she could read "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. It's being made into a movie so she wants to see the movie when it comes out, but wants to read the book first. Early on in the book there's a rape and murder of a 14 year old girl. The rest of the story is about the girl watching her family and her killer while she's in heaven.

I looked up info on the movie and it's going to be rated R, so she can't watch the movie anyway. I told her "no" she could not read that book. She wants to know at what age she needs to be before she can read it. A friend of hers (same age) read the book and posted it on an online book club that they belong to.

DD has always been an accelerated reader and started reading fat chapter books when she was six years old.

For parents of barely teens, how do you handle this type of situation?

 

[kevschickee]

My kids aren't anywhere close to being teens BUT I have read Lovely Bones. Yes there is a rape and murder scene in the book but it really is a good book. I would let my 13 year old read it. It would be a great teaching tool about strangers and no means no. When books are made into movies there is a lot of stuff added to it so it could very well be rated R.

 

[DVCLiz]

My 13 year old DD is asking if she can read some of my books. Some of them I don't have a problem with, but some have adult content that I just don't think is appropriate for a 13 year old. She claims she's "mature enough" to handle it.

Yesterday she asked if she could read "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. It's being made into a movie so she wants to see the movie when it comes out, but wants to read the book first. Early on in the book there's a rape and murder of a 14 year old girl. The rest of the story is about the girl watching her family and her killer while she's in heaven.

I looked up info on the movie and it's going to be rated R, so she can't watch the movie anyway. I told her "no" she could not read that book. She wants to know at what age she needs to be before she can read it. A friend of hers (same age) read the book and posted it on an online book club that they belong to.

DD has always been an accelerated reader and started reading fat chapter books when she was six years old.

For parents of barely teens, how do you handle this type of situation?

I didn't monitor any reading when my daughters were preteens or teens. If they wanted to read something that was in the house, they were allowed to read it. If they had questions about the content or if I thought we needed to discuss something in particluar, I brought it up and we discussed it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with letting a thirteen year old read The Lovely Bones if she wants to. Once they pass the stage of fat chapter books written for younger audiences, there's nothing left but "adult" books.

If you really wanted to put an "age" on it I would say high school is the time to let her read anything she chooses.

 

[mjkacmom]

I let dd12 read whatever she wants. Last summer she read Speak, a story of a teen who got raped. I was really into Stephen King at that age! My parents let me read whatever I wanted.

 

[momofrrr]

That is a tough one. We had that same issue with our son. He has always loved to read and be read to. When he was little we had to limit the number of books we read to him at bedtime to two or we would have been up all night reading to him. We eventually had to just let go and let him read whatever he choose or he would have had nothing to read and we certainly did not want that habit to be broken. I think that if they are not ready to process what the story is about it will boar them and they will put the book down. If they do keep reading and just don't get it if they are ready for that information they will ask about it. If not, they will probably just read over it.

 

[MoniqueU]

If my kids are able to read and comprehend it they are allowed to read it. My kids already know about sex and don't scare or anything. If they have questions they can come ask me. My main goal is to have them read, I don't feel the need to censor their choices.

 

[PatsMom]

I don't censor my DD's reading. By the time she was 13 she was reading "adult" books. If there was content that she wanted to talk about, she would come to me.

She is a great reader and has always loved reading. She's 17 and reads for pleasure.

 

[diskids2]

The book Speak that was referred to in a PP.....my DD had that for required summer reading between 8th and 9th grade....which would be 13-14 year olds.

Personally I think you were right to say no to the book she wanted to read. As far as what age for adult type content...I'd say 14.

 

[StitchFanZ]

I let my DD read anything she wanted by that age, but I also read all the books. It opens up a lot of conversation about real life and stuff. She really appreciates that freedom and can already pick out a good quality plot versus a fluff book that is fun to read but otherwise mindless or a book that subtly glorifies poor judgement or moral choices or a social agenda. I see it as a tool to help her develop discernment and the ability to think thru anything a professor might throw at her in college.

 

[mjkacmom]

The book Speak that was referred to in a PP.....my DD had that for required summer reading between 8th and 9th grade....which would be 13-14 year olds.

Personally I think you were right to say no to the book she wanted to read. As far as what age for adult type content...I'd say 14.

Interesting - dd12 is entering 8th grade next year, and it's on her summer reading list that they school gave her. Maybe they're conservative with required reading material. I read the book, and there was nothing in it that we hadn't discussed, at length.

 

[diskids2]

Interesting - dd12 is entering 8th grade next year, and it's on her summer reading list that they school gave her. Maybe they're conservative with required reading material. I read the book, and there was nothing in it that we hadn't discussed, at length.

I wasn't saying that you shouldn't of let your daughter read Speak.....just saying that it was on the required list for 8th to 9th grade in DD's high school.

 

[puffkin]

I don't think books should be censored at any age. As a parent I would try to keep tabs on what she is reading and let her know you are always available for discussion but not censor it.

Seeing an R rated movie is a lot different than reading a book with R rated material IMHO.

 

[Avonlady1001]

I think that if they are not ready to process what the story is about it will boar them and they will put the book down. If they do keep reading and just don't get it if they are ready for that information they will ask about it. If not, they will probably just read over it.

I have to agree. When I was 12-13 & started reading my mom's "romance" novels, I used to skip over the boring "bulging manhood" parts. LOL My reading was never censored, but I knew what I wanted to read.

OP, you know your child best...you know what she can handle. If you think it's too much for her, put her off. Have you read the book she's asking to read? Maybe if you read it first, see how bad it really is....you might be surprised. I haven't read that one, but it seems sad to me.

My DD is only 4, so I'm no where near dealing with that issue yet, but I hope that she continues her love of reading.

 

[kacaju]

my dd15 loves to read. I do not censor her reading at all, never have.
I have told her (and remind her) that if she ever wants to talk about anything she's read I am here for her.

 

[NiftyJ88]

As a teacher, I see so many kids who hate reading. If your daughter loves reading, and that is what she wants to read, I say go for it. Our kids are exposed to so much filth on the TV and from their "friends" at school and even on the news.
At 13, I doubt she is reading anything she doesn't already know about.

 

[crisi]

I'm not sure what would be in the Lovely Bones that wouldn't be in Diary of Anne Frank or To Kill a Mockingbird or Of Mice and Men or the other books that are often part of the high school circuculum. For that matter, kids her age are devouring Twilight.

My parents let me read everything - which means I read a lot of stuff that I had minimal comprehension of (there is no way you CAN understand Anna Karinina as a 14 year old). It also means I was very well read.

 

[crisi]

I don't think there's anything wrong with letting a thirteen year old read The Lovely Bones if she wants to. Once they pass the stage of fat chapter books written for younger audiences, there's nothing left but "adult" books.

There is actually a ton on "YA" (Young Adult) literature out there. One of my girlfriends is a YA specialist for the library system. Scott Westerfeld's books are popular and really good for that point (Uglies). Twilight is written for that age (it is, however, very readable trash fiction - not terribly redeeming).

Here is the Young Adult Library Services Website which lists their top ten books each year for 12-18 year olds:

http://www.ala.org/ala/mgrps/divs/yalsa/booklistsawards/booklistsbook.cfm

 

[LadyShea]

FWIW my mom never censored my reading, and I was reading some "adult" books in elementary school.

If she felt it necessary due to content, she would read the book first, then discuss it with me while I was reading it ("Where are you? Oh, what did you think about X" that kind of thing)...sort of a private book club.

I have always appreciated her doing that for me.

ETA: Twilight question, I haven't read it but I heard that the main characters' first sexual encounter is while the girl is unconscious due to the pain or something, is this true? If so...that's not an appropriate display of "love" in my book, but akin to rape...yet 13 year olds are reading it voraciously.

 

[crisi]

ETA: Twilight question, I haven't read it but I heard that the main characters' first sexual encounter is while the girl is unconscious due to the pain or something, is this true? If so...that's not an appropriate display of "love" in my book, but akin to rape...yet 13 year olds are reading it voraciously.

I've only read the first book - which is sexless. Lots of longing, a few passionate kisses, lots more longing - and some talking about sex. However, I understand that the sexlessness of the books is not maintained. I'm not terribly sure I'd want my 13 year old reading it without discussion - but then again, as someone said upthread - some of us were reading Stephen King - or anyone remember voraciously passing around Flowers in the Attic?(!!!!!)

 

[sk!mom]

I do not really moniter DD13's book choices. She loves to discuss what she's reading but I haven't vetoed anything yet and can't think of anything that I would ban. I read whatever I wanted at that age, also.