At what age do most teens travel alone or with friends?

[ebtbmom]

My son is 17 about to enter his senior year. He won't graduate next summer though because he goes to an early college program which is 5 years rather than 4 pushing his graduation until 2017 when he's 19.

He's always wanted to do a trip after graduation, either to Europe or the Caribbean. His female cousin has agreed to go with him, she's 2 years older. I've agreed and offered to give him some money towards this trip in 2 years.

But now they've decided they want to go somewhere next summer too! First off, I'm not giving him money next summer, so this is liable to be a moot point anyway because he makes very little at his job. Secondly, yes he'll be 18, but still in high school. They want to go to Costa Rica.

I think that's too much. I've agreed for them to go somewhere in the states together next summer, maybe Florida or CA. But they don't want to do that so I said that I'll have to go if they're wanting to do Costa Rica. He's of course pulling the "I'm used to traveling and I'll be 18" mess. And true, he's traveled quite a bit. But I'm just not feeling an international trip next summer even though he would have been graduated if he'd attended a traditional high school.

What are your thoughts? At what age do you let teens start taking trips with other teens? Also, where would you be comfortable with them going?

I will add that I'm not at all concerned about their behavior. They're both good, non partying kids. It's just more the general safety stuff I'm concerned about.

 

[BigAlsGal]

Legal drinking age in Costa Rica is 18. While I wouldn't worry about them traveling to Costa Rica I might worry about the fact they can walk into any bar and get wasted. But you know them best. If drinking isn't an issue I'd probably let them go. I've been. It's a beautiful place. Amazing.

 

[HM]

Both my children did trips to Europe at 17 and 18 respectively. My 17yr old son did a trip through his school after graduation to Spain/France. My 18 yr old DD traveled with friends to stay with a friend's parents in Germany/Spain and flew home by herself.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

Ours have all been 18 and over prior to traveling solo to anywhere long distance. They did some group events with other teenagers when they were 16 and above, but there was always an adult involved as well.

 

[hereyago]

He will br 18,an adult who would be paying his way, no offense, but you dont have a say in it.

You have hopefully guided him to have common sense about safety no matter where he is.

 

[Poohforyou]

He will br 18,an adult who would be paying his way, no offense, but you dont have a say in it.

You have hopefully guided him to have common sense about safety no matter where he is.

Not to pick on you but parents do have a say in what their 18+ kids do if the kids are being supported some how by mom and dad. Op, if your son is a good kid I'd let him go.

 

[hereyago]

Not to pick on you but parents do have a say in what their 18+ kids do if the kids are being supported some how by mom and dad. Op, if your son is a good kid I'd let him go.

That works for some not all. They cant make him stay,.they cant stop him legally from buying a ticket and going. Could they kick him out upon his arriving back home? Sure, but I dont believe that parents should play puppetmaster with purse strings.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I went to Daytona with my friends (not a school sponsored event) upon HS graduation. About 1,000 miles each way by car. I was 17 (turned 18 the following month). Of the 6 of us, our parents were split right down the middle on whether or not this was a good idea. Not sure if an international destination would have changed their thoughts or not.

My own kids aren't to that age, yet.

 

[rigs32]

What's going to change in the year between being 18 and 19? You either trust him or you don't. He can either pay for it or he can't. You can either allow him to return to the house after the trip or not.

 

[Annadesu]

My parents always told my siblings and I that we would gain more privileges as we got older, assuming we didn't abuse the ones we already had. When I was 17, my parents allowed me to visit Japan with a group of other teenagers, with only 1 adult guide. They said that they expected me to "behave" on the trip, and I did. Some of my relatives openly mocked my parents for letting me go, because obviously I was just going to run wild in another country without them (I didn't. Had a wonderful trip).

So, to you I say: If you have no reason to distrust your kid, and think they are mature enough to take care of themselves, then the age isn't important. If you're worried because of things they have done in the past, then maybe say "no". That's up to you.

 

[TAX GUY]

I will add that I'm not at all concerned about their behavior. They're both good, non partying kids. It's just more the general safety stuff I'm concerned about.

My parents thought the same about me too when I was that age. Boy were they shocked with the stories I told them about what used to happen. I was in my late 30's when I told them.

 

[Bren's Mom]

Well my parents and my friend's parents let us travel from the East Coast to the West Coast alone at 13. We stayed with my aunt and uncle but they were both at work during the day and we navigated SanDiego via public transit most days. (I'm 44 now, so that was a long time ago but still.)

At age 18, having completed 4 years of HS (equivalent of having graduated), IF paying for it himself, I wouldn't think I could stop my stepson or son, and likely wouldn't try. He can fight in a war at 18, surely he can navigate a reasonably friendly foreign country.

 

[mickeyboat]

I went to Boston alone when I was 17. Actually I flew in to Boston and then had to figure out how to get to Vermont on my own. I can not believe my parents let me do that. But I survived.

With all the technology and communication available today, I think I would allow my 18 year old to go with her 20 year old cousin to travel together. However, has your son ever been out of the country before? Has he navigated airports and hotels with you? As far as drinking goes, you know your son better than anyone. Is he likely to get into trouble with drinking or do you think the two of them are able to drink responsibly? He is likely to have already been exposed to alcohol. Do you have any indication on how he might handle it?

 

[NHdisneylover]

DD18 has been to the US several times on her own, but always meeting up with people as until this year she could not check into a hotel in the US. She did some short trip here in Europe, mostly to SCA events, on her own, but had she wanted to do more with a friend, I would not have minded at all.

Her friend from San Diego (also 18) was here earlier this summer, worked at camp with her and is now traveling Belgium and The Netherlands completely on her own for a week before meeting up with yet another friend in Bergen.

DS is 16. I would have to research Cost Rica to see how easy travel there at his age would be, but at least Europe, where I know he could find easy transportation, be allowed to check into hotels and hostels or stay at a safe campground, I would be FINE with him and his best friend knocking around for the summer---I would encourage that adventure.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My 18yodd dd just went on a road trip with friends and her BF. Since he is with the cousin & you trust them, I say OK.

 

[ebtbmom]

Thanks for all the replies. It's great to get varying perspectives!

I do not subscribe to the notion that an 18yr old is totally independent and can do whatever he/she wants, nor does my son. He's still completely dependent on me for room, board, car, and internet lol. He's a good, considerate kid and wouldn't want to do anything if he knows that I am upset or have a huge problem with it.

Someone asked about if he's traveled, yes he has. We've been to the Caribbean twice, to Europe 3 times, and all over the US. He's not at all uncomfortable or nervous about the "travel" aspect. We were in Dublin last week actually.

I don't think he'd drink much, if any at all. His dad and I have been pretty open with him regarding alcohol, he's never tried anything that he wanted more than a few sips of lol. I don't think my niece drinks much either but this is something I'd want to discuss with her.

I think I'll take a less hard lined approach to this. I've told him that he has to pay for this as I'm saving money for his graduation trip, so that's likely to squash it anyway. Also I think I'd be more comfortable if they went to a US Territory, like the Virgin Islands, for their first trip alone. And of course I need to mention this it his dad to see what he thinks, but he's not as much of a worrier as I am so he likely won't see the problem. Thanks for the help!

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I was living on my own and completely independent from my parents at that age. If he's got a decent head on his shoulders he should be able to handle a vacation with his cousin. Costa Rica is friendly and easy to navigate, so it's a good "beginner" international trip.

 

[Minniesgal]

We are from Scotland but currently live temporarily in Australia.

DS is currently 16 almost 17. He has flown to Australia by himself now twice, once through Dubai and the second time through Singapore. Both are huge busy airports and it was nerve wracking but he coped and loved it. He kinda has no choice as he is in boarding school in Scotland as the schools here can't give him the right qualifications for university entrance in Scotland and he really wants to go there.

He graduated school next summer and as he is an October birthday he will still be 17. He and a close friend who will be 18 are planning on going to Japan together. I am supportive and actually will pay for the trip. I think it is good for them and helps them grow up and be more independent.

Conversely my daughter is 20 and at University in Scotland. She wanted to go to Chicago to some festival with a friend. I didn't say no to her but I did tell her I thought it was a bad idea. Firstly because she wanted to use her savings which i want her to keep until she finishes university and gets a job just in case and secondly because she is still 20 and will have a hassle getting a hotel room in the USA. That one is a bit hard as anywhere else in the world she could get one from 18 but no the US.

I think travel is good for kids it teaches them to be responsible and at 18 they are adults.

 

[kkmcan]

We have done some traveling so I know my dd18 wouldn't be uncomfortable traveling but I think for us she wouldn't be allowed to go that far without an adult. She's done a few school trips to Southern Cal. She's flown by herself to stay with aunt/uncle. I don't think I'd let her do a road trip with girl friends yet. But if they wanted to fly to DL or WDW I'd be okay with that. The driving part scares the bejeezus out of me. We live in the desert so you pretty much drive for hours in the heat and barren desert before reaching your destination. She definitely would not be going on an unsupervised international trip. But that's just how I feel about what my dd can handle. It's not that I don't trust her. Its that I don't trust other people and I don't think she has the tools to know how to handle every situation. She has been a very sheltered kid growing up. You know your kid best and what he can handle.

 

[katie111]

I would wait & serif he has the money for the trip before you start to really worry about it.

My kids are younger but we have been to Costa Rica. It is an extremely safe place. There are tons of American living there and almost everyone speaks english. I think it would be a great first international trip. The people that live there are super friendly and we never felt unsafe at all. Can't say that about many places I've been in the US.