Aspie ds advice please x

[buzz for boys]

Hi all,
You are all so fantatsic that I hope someone on here will have experienced this and will be able to give me a little bit of advice
My ds has aspergers and is having huge difficulties since we returned from our trip to wdw.
His words were " Mom dont let Daniel have a friend round we havent even settled back into this house yet - dont bring anyone else in !!"
We have been bk 10 days now and he has cried himself to sleep tonight because he misses florida so much!!
How do i make this better??

 

[debbi801]

Poor little guy. Transitions are so hard in the best of situations. And who wouldn't want to be in WDW?

My DS hasn't gotten to this point yet. We went when he was 2 and again at 4. The adjustments weren't as bad back then. But even so, he asked to go back almost every week.

Did you take any video? Maybe if he watches the videos and looks at the photographs of the trip, that will help. Do you see yourself gong back in the next year or so? Could you create a countdown counter for him so that he has something to look forward to?

 

[bookwormde]

Transitions are tough. That was actually out “theme/project” for our last WDW visit. If there is something special that you do during the summer try to get him focusing on that, and there is always planning the next WDW vacation.

bookwormde

 

[buzz for boys]

Thanks for the replies. I showed him the photos earlier and he went into full meltdown saying they made him feel sadder !! We are trying so hard to work out a way to afford to go bk to wdw but as we are from the uk and we are a family of 6 its no small amount I would love to be able to tell him a date but just cant see us doing it much before Nov 2010 and if I tell him that I know he will go mental as that does seem like ages away! He told Dh he could work 7 days a week so we could have the money to go back again this year when dh said he would never be able to go back this year cam cried and cried!!
Thanks for your advice and I guess ill just have to think a bit harder!!

 

[Schmeck]

I'd stop trying to appease him about the trip, as it sounds like you're not going to be able to afford another trip any time soon, and the topic is making him more upset. The sooner you get the household back to 'pre-WDW' routine the better. Re-direct him whenever he talks about WDW. "Yes, we had a nice trip, this Sunday we are going to visit so-and-so," etc.

If he continues to obsess, try to get him to figure out why - what made it so perfect for him, what is he hoping for with a return trip, why is WDW the only place he thinks he can find what he wants that makes him happy?

I wish you luck - we are all here on the DIS rather obsessed with WDW, and we all feel pretty much like your son!

 

[Earstou]

My ds always has the opposite problem, he doesn't want to leave home!

Is there any thing you can do (zoo, library, hiking) or a hobby you can get him interested in to take his mind off WDW. Originally I was going to suggest making his own Disney scrapbook, but you said the photos only made it worse. I think you need to go in a completely different direction and try not to think about Disney.

 

[mechurchlady]

He is afraid of loosing something precious much as a child frets over a toy so much that they make you empty the whole car to find that precious item.

The friends come over and ask about the trip which reminds him of what he has lost. It is psychology at work. For some NV we do not see things normally. I had to get a dole whip even though the park will be there in years to come. It is just a problem with the wiring and thinking. Reassure him and help him to get over the loss. Eventually it will be worse if you do not educate him and teach him how to deal with loss of things even if you obviously do not understand


The loss of the park is the same as a real toy and you must understand how he thinks before you can help him. Explain things and see if that works.

 

[buzz for boys]

He is afraid of loosing something precious much as a child frets over a toy so much that they make you empty the whole car to find that precious item.

The friends come over and ask about the trip which reminds him of what he has lost. It is psychology at work. For some NV we do not see things normally. I had to get a dole whip even though the park will be there in years to come. It is just a problem with the wiring and thinking. Reassure him and help him to get over the loss. Eventually it will be worse if you do not educate him and teach him how to deal with loss of things even if you obviously do not understand


The loss of the park is the same as a real toy and you must understand how he thinks before you can help him. Explain things and see if that works.

thanks so much you are so right it is like a grieving process with him!! Ill try to explain things to him - again many thanks x

 

[mechurchlady]

thanks so much you are so right it is like a grieving process with him!! Ill try to explain things to him - again many thanks x

The hard part with dealing with the neurovariant is understanding them. slapping, yelling, threats, and offers of treats does not help if in its mind the child sees something as real and tangible like your child losing WDW.

First off is this normal for the child? If you go to the local zoo does he react the same way? If yes then reassurance via cheap local things like movies at a theater would help.

If this is not normal behavior then you have to get to the root of the problem. It could have be someone saying something that stuck in the kid's head or something he read or saw. Coudl be something else.

that second part is the hardest part, investigative work. Talking firm to my mother causes a total shutdown and even meltdowns which escalate and feeds each other until any talking to her is difficult. I want to scream and yell but instead just wait to cry and bottle it up. I have to make food her way which is small looking portions in neat piles not strewn everywhere and I cheat by using large plates for everything so that she sees a mound of taters, a mound of veggies, some meat, some side tidbits, and lots of space. That space on the plate make her think she has little food. Little food then means she is not stressing out about cleaning her plate up.

Wow time to breathe, yep lots of work but you were chosen because God dont make mistakea and never gives us more than we can handle. Though I have argued with God over such matters and he gave me Calvin.

big hugs and chocolates.
Laurie

 

[RN4Babies]

We're having the same trouble with dd8 who's an Aspie Girl. She cried twice on the plane on the way home because she didn't want to leave WDW, and cries at least once day now (more than a month later). However, she was crying several times a day, so once a day is an improvement!

Something that has helped is talking about what we're going to do this summer. We have trips to the zoo planned, an overnight trip to Chicago, visiting cousins that live a few hours away, and she's going to daycamp for a week for the first time. Yesterday I bought a big month-at-a-time calendar for her, and this weekend we're going to plot out our adventures for this summer. I'm going to get stickers, and let her decorate it with markers, glitter glue and stickers. Kind of a count down idea to keep her looking forward instead of mourning the loss of WDW.

I knew she'd love WDW, but her enthusiasm and adoration for it showed me how much I underestimated her infatuation!

 

[mackay_j]

Hi just incase I say the wrong thing I will say right up front that I know nothing about autism and aps syndrom. So I am sorry if anything I say here is wrong, or stupid. But I thought I would write this as a close friend has a child who has this and they have experienced a very similar problem after coming back from lapland A few years ago. I phoned her after reading this as it was so similar to her experience. Here is what she has told me and I am posting incase it is of use, again (after being knocked down on another post)I am sorry if its not of use or not what you want to hear. She told me today that she has had this hapen twice once returning from lapland and one disneyland paris on her first trip there. Her son was 7 at lap and 8 at disney. The next time she went, they put a calender on the hotel room wall (a disney one and he ticked off the days as they went along he also wrote (well typed as he will not and has never used a pen) what he was going to tell his gran about each day (a sort of diary thing). Then 2 days before they left the discussed going home in detail and he got to write a list of the best bits to redo before they left. On that trip the return was much much better for him, and he took his list and read it to his gran, then took it to his school (special need school so were happy to accom his requirement to show it many times. I know this doesn't help you much now, but it might for a future trip/holiday or it might make no diff but a it may be worth a shot. good luck hope things get better for you a quickly as possible.

 

[robin09]

Hi all,
You are all so fantatsic that I hope someone on here will have experienced this and will be able to give me a little bit of advice
My ds has aspergers and is having huge difficulties since we returned from our trip to wdw.
His words were " Mom dont let Daniel have a friend round we havent even settled back into this house yet - dont bring anyone else in !!"
We have been bk 10 days now and he has cried himself to sleep tonight because he misses florida so much!!
How do i make this better??

Hi not so sure of your DS age... My dd is 10 with aspergers. What helps with us, is the Disney book for kids that she basically has memorized and going online to the Disney sites, this way she can "see" Disney and still be there. Hope this helps, we totally understand!