Asperger's? long post, sorry

[bookwormde]

bobbie68,

It is good to hear from other parents of children who understand that in the end that to a great extent the issues of Aspersers are about discrimination in our society. I wish I could be here in 100 year when the decrimination due to our children's differences is view with the same distain as ethnic origin, race, gender are now. I truly believe this is the big next discriminating area once we get past sexual preference transition . Ironic since our kids are by their nature typically socially non discriminatory.

bookwormde

 

[CairnsGirl]

Hi Mrs Bradbury,

I can so relate to what you are going through with your son. I also have an Asphergers son age 15.
I have worked out that things will always be different with my son compared to his two older sisters.

My son could not tie his laces until he was 13. The nightmare we had at meals times with his eating was very stressfull. It was only after we saw an expert that we could relate to the eating difficulties. He told us that some foods were like trying to eat a mouth full of "nuts and bolts" to Asphergers people.

We decided not to stress so much and now my son eats most foods. He has never had any close friends but now in high school he hangs out with a group of mates and socialises with them. I think teens get more accepting as they get through to senior school.

I have had a private meeting with Tony Attwood who is a world leader in Asphergers. Have a look at his web site and I see he is also touring the USA this year. www.tonyattwood.com.au

I took my son over to the USA in 2007 and we went to Disneyland. We are now coming over to Disneyworld in September 2010. Travel has become his passion!

 

[bookwormde]

CarnsGirl

Attwood is amazing, I have had an opportunity for brief conversations at his seminars.

bookwormde

 

[MomToAp1699]

You described my 11 year nearly perfect as well. With the exception of he is very loving, to the point of extreme. He can sometimes injure you with his love.. he pushes so hard and jumps on you to get hugs. We started his journey in services at 14 months old in 2000 and he wasn't diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome until September 12th, 2005. He also has severe ADHD which is treated fairly well with medication.
He has a terrible time with sleep and we spent many many years with him constantly exhausted from a lack of sleep. We then began with Melatonin 3mg a half hour before bed and the kid has had nice restful sleep every since. That was 3 years ago.
My husband is very much in agreement that Alex has Aspergers, but struggles daily to deal with it. He can't see the way I can what will set Alex off, what are those moments when things are on the precipice of getting bad and still able to pull back and save the moment. Its hard when the other half of your child's life doesn't see your child for who they are.
Oh.. one last thing! Alex doesn't eat Mashed Potatoes either.. his sensory issues are so great that he can't even tolerate them touching his tongue without things getting bad. I always hoped he would grow out of that aversion, but on the other hand they are my number # 1 favorite food so I am not too upset to not have to share!

 

[deerhart]

Wow you got alot going on.

First off, don't confuse things that are part of the differential with the actual diagnosis. Clumsiness is a common trait of Autism, but is NOT part of the diagnostic criteria.

Next, you have to divide out what is causing each behavior. For example, is the inability to tie shoes a sensory issue, a coordination issue, a perseverance issue (ie its hard so he can't do it), a perfectionism issue (he won't try because he can't do it "right" and therefore it lessens the anxiety by avoiding it) a routine issue etc..

The difference between willfullness versus something else, the only way to determine between the two is to tease it out over time. I know when my oldest says its too hard I can't do it, that he REALLY feels that way because he can't see the forest through the trees to find the starting point. I also know that getting him to a starting point will get him going. It's not a choice, but rather a coping strategy to get him help. On the other hand when its a willfull choice, the whole situation changes from the way he responds, the way he reacts, to the look on his face and the posture. A good example of this is when he gets angry with us over a decision. He tells us we are mean, that we don't listen to him, that we are unfair, his face turns red, he puffs his cheeks, and he stomps up to his room. When its an outburst related to anxiety/frustration (and that he just can't keep a grip on) there is a lot of wailing, crying, etc..

Also look at whether or not he's an introvert or an extrovert and adjust your expectations accordingly. Introverts PREFER to be alone or in small groups. Introverts will need time AWAY from people to simply recharge. Extroverts NEED people to charge them, They want to be around people constantly. My youngest son is an extrovert (even more so then his dad). Oldest DS and I are both introverts and need time to ourselves to sort of recharge. While my youngest is just always play with me, pay attention to me, etc..

The other stuff seems sensory based, which can stem from multiple causes.