ARGH! Scared-y-cat DH is making DD nervous about rides!

[bookgirl]

He might not be projecting HIS fear, but instead dealing with a fear that his little girl will be scared or upset that she might feel like he does and he wont be there to stop it. I know it sounds like the same thing but it is not that he wants her to have his fears, it's that he is afraid of her riding it and so says stuff to keep her off of it so that he won't be afraid of her riding it without him.

 

[powbob]

Your husband is acting like a petulant child who wants to ruin everyone else's fun. There are no thrill rides at WDW unless you have a very low bar for thrilling. With the exeption of maybe Rock & Roller coaster they're all pretty much kiddie rides relative to other parks. Seriously, look at all of the four and five year olds gleefully riding every so-called roller coaster at Disney. Mission space is a spinning ride. Your husband is one of those people who react badly to being spun at speed. The only other spin ride at WDW is the teacups, so he should avoid that.

 

[HockeyIsLife]

I am very lucky that my kids are more adventurous than I am. But I think you are in the right. I offer very little commentary on a ride that I have gone on that the kids have not. I want them to have close to no anxiety about something that is supposed to be fun. I am not someone who enjoys Space Mountain or Splash Mountain at all, and normally skip them. But when we took my cousins daughter, she is scared of rides like that, I went on everything she was willing to go on. It made her braver and knew she had someone who would white knuckle it with her. I ended up loving Tower of Terror (which I had hated before) after that trip.

Awesome that you wont force her, take her on Big Thunder first (BEST first "Mountain" IMHO).
I also bought trading pins of the ride from the gift shop for each of the kids when they "conquered" each "scary" ride. They loved the challenge.

Good Luck! Hopefully you will have a ride partner for your next trip!

 

[Planogirl]

My DH is scared of some rides too and our answer was to playfully tease him a little. Nothing mean, just funny, silly stuff. That seemed to take the edge off the fear even for him in some cases.

 

[FantasiaMagic]

I would definitely encourage your daughter before you go. Maybe show her some youtube videos of some of the rides if you think that would help. I would just tell her exactly how the ride works, but try your best not to a0-make them sound scary, but fun! Best of luck!

 

[kaetra]

I'm on your side - don't frighten her out of trying the cool rides! But maybe he's just trying to prepare her in case she has the same reaction or motion sickness problem that he has, and his preparation speeches are just not very good ones.

Maybe in his mind he thinks he's helping her by preparing her for what's coming instead of her potentially being shocked and thus put off by the ride. The drops on the rides you mention should definitely at least be mentioned to a young child before the ride, but framed in a positive way.

Prepare yourself for disappointment in case it turns out she doesn't share your tastes in thrill rides.

 

[DisneyFive]

OMG! Please help settle an argument between DH and myself...

I like thrill rides... I particularly enjoy them, I'm not a person who gets motion-sick, etc.

My DH is the opposite, he's afraid of some rides and he's motion-sick (over everything), he rode Mission Space once, got super sick and won't ride most other rides.

Whatever...he's content to sit and wait for me.

The problem is he is pretty much now talking DD(5 will be 6 while we're there) out of some of the great rides!

We checked and believe she has the height requirement, and if so, I'd like her to try some of them, ToT, EE, BTMR, Splash...it's not like she's on a ride alone, she'll be with me. He's telling her "you don't really know if you'll like it ToT can be pretty spooky and Splash has a HUGE drop"... DUDE! That's not fair right?

While I'd never force her onto a ride, I will "encourage" her to ride with me. I think it would be good for her not to be afraid of the rides.

Who would be "more correct"?

Really, there is no good reason to instill fear! Let your kid decide. Our first trip my daughters were 6 and 8 and their favorite rides were EE, BTMRR, TOT, Space, you know, all the thrilling ones. I would hate to deny them that. If she gets scared, she doesn't have to do anymore. We started with BTMRR, which is a very good starting coaster IMO.

Dan

 

[LaurenT]

I agree that he shouldn't say things in a way that makes the rides seem ominous.
Kids should be informed - I see kids come off ToT crying and hysterical all the time ... I hsve a feeling no one told them what to expect! So, while I agree with telling your kid "this ride makes a bunch of drops to surprise you and there's fake spooky stuff that's really cool" I wouldn't start the sentence with "are you sure?".
And if my DH did this, I'd have a talk with him and then I would remind my daughter that Daddy is a worry wart and that I love the ride and can't wait to do it together.

 

[pkelly6]

Another vote in your favor! My DH is the SAME way. Makes me so angry and sad for our daughters.

 

[disnut8]

OMG! Please help settle an argument between DH and myself...

I like thrill rides... I particularly enjoy them, I'm not a person who gets motion-sick, etc.

My DH is the opposite, he's afraid of some rides and he's motion-sick (over everything), he rode Mission Space once, got super sick and won't ride most other rides.

Whatever...he's content to sit and wait for me.

The problem is he is pretty much now talking DD(5 will be 6 while we're there) out of some of the great rides!

We checked and believe she has the height requirement, and if so, I'd like her to try some of them, ToT, EE, BTMR, Splash...it's not like she's on a ride alone, she'll be with me. He's telling her "you don't really know if you'll like it ToT can be pretty spooky and Splash has a HUGE drop"... DUDE! That's not fair right?

While I'd never force her onto a ride, I will "encourage" her to ride with me. I think it would be good for her not to be afraid of the rides.

Who would be "more correct"?

If that's all your husband is telling your child, I don't think that is "instilling fear". I think that is pointing out what *could* frighten your child (both of your child). I think Twilight Zone is one of the scariest attractions at Disney World not for the drops but for the entire experience. And Splash does have a huge drop that everyone can see.

What I would do is to make a list of what your husband thinks will be scary for your daughter. And then list why he thinks it will be scary for her. Then you list what you think she would like about it. Then ALL of you watch youtube videos of the attraction and ALL of you discuss the attraction.

You are a family so it shouldn't be one parent against another with your daughter caught in between.

 

[nat8199]

I would be really mad at my husband if he did this. He is terrified of fish (even minnows!) and sometimes random things like frogs. He deals with his fears pretty well, though. I told him when we had kids that he was NOT allowed to teach the kids to be afraid of such silly things. If he was trying to explain to them why minnows cannot be trusted and should be run away from I would send him to the fishes!

 

[eeyore45]

And don't forget how often I hear kids scream and have to be taken out of "Its tough to be a Bug" in AK - some have reported that their kids were afraid to go in to any shows after that...

and you might want to add The Dinosaur ride too - again, some really crazy screaming kids, which can't be fun for anyone

 

[nat8199]

And I think that warning a kid, "Hey this rides goes really fast, upside down, in the dark, but don't worry it is completely safe!" is very different from, "This ride is scary! It has big drops!"

 

[BellsFam]

First off, thank you for all the advice!

DH and I actually had a long talk (about this after DD went to bed)...and (he actually read most of your posts!).

I told him that was he was doing was really bothering me, (the same thing I've been saying all along), but somehow last night he understood, (probably because I did it without DD present, he took me more serious).

He said that he didn't realize it was that bad (how he was behaving), and that it's better to do pretty much what everyone had suggested, which is watch some of the bigger rides on YouTube. We've already watched most and DD has decided that ToT is def. out! Though I must admit it has been a while for me because I really forgot about the Twilight Zone movie feature was that long and it is a little creepy for DD!)...

We also watched Splash and BTMRR and she's super stoked about those, and she still really wants to ride Goofy's Barnstormer, so DH relented and said he'd go on it with her "if she held his hand"!!!

So I think that we all really won out... I think she will enjoy *some* of the bigger rides with me, but she's also choosing what she wants on her own terms, which is really all that I wanted in the end.

 

[disnut8]

First off, thank you for all the advice!

DH and I actually had a long talk (about this after DD went to bed)...and (he actually read most of your posts!).

I told him that was he was doing was really bothering me, (the same thing I've been saying all along), but somehow last night he understood, (probably because I did it without DD present, he took me more serious).

He said that he didn't realize it was that bad (how he was behaving), and that it's better to do pretty much what everyone had suggested, which is watch some of the bigger rides on YouTube. We've already watched most and DD has decided that ToT is def. out! Though I must admit it has been a while for me because I really forgot about the Twilight Zone movie feature was that long and it is a little creepy for DD!)...

We also watched Splash and BTMRR and she's super stoked about those, and she still really wants to ride Goofy's Barnstormer, so DH relented and said he'd go on it with her "if she held his hand"!!!

So I think that we all really won out... I think she will enjoy *some* of the bigger rides with me, but she's also choosing what she wants on her own terms, which is really all that I wanted in the end.

Excellent! Glad everyone was able to work things out within the family.

 

[Judique]

He might not be projecting HIS fear, but instead dealing with a fear that his little girl will be scared or upset that she might feel like he does and he wont be there to stop it. I know it sounds like the same thing but it is not that he wants her to have his fears, it's that he is afraid of her riding it and so says stuff to keep her off of it so that he won't be afraid of her riding it without him.

I think Bookgirl has it down.

I'm a scaredy cat with 3 kids (all grown up now). (Also have the nausea with spins/but mostly just plain anxiety)

I still cringe if I have to watch them on the thrill rides at Universal.

Fortunately for my kids none of them inherited my fears, but if I could have, I would have kept them on 'Its a small world' until they were 21.

Instead they were lining up for single rider and repeatedly doing all the fast/high/dark stuff.

I got to hold the stuff. And did a lot of walk throughs/and exit before the rides and the CM's would tease me as they strapped in my four year old with her brother or sister.

Glad to read that your husband and you have talked it out. Your child(ren) would have eventually made their own decision.

 

[chartle]

He said that he didn't realize it was that bad (how he was behaving), and that it's better to do pretty much what everyone had suggested, which is watch some of the bigger rides on YouTube. We've already watched most and DD has decided that ToT is def. out! Though I must admit it has been a while for me because I really forgot about the Twilight Zone movie feature was that long and it is a little creepy for DD!)...

My at the time 3 to 4 year old Niece loved ToT she even called me from WDW to tell me as she was running to get back in line.

 

[alvernon90]

First off, thank you for all the advice!

DH and I actually had a long talk (about this after DD went to bed)...and (he actually read most of your posts!).

I told him that was he was doing was really bothering me, (the same thing I've been saying all along), but somehow last night he understood, (probably because I did it without DD present, he took me more serious).

He said that he didn't realize it was that bad (how he was behaving), and that it's better to do pretty much what everyone had suggested, which is watch some of the bigger rides on YouTube. We've already watched most and DD has decided that ToT is def. out! Though I must admit it has been a while for me because I really forgot about the Twilight Zone movie feature was that long and it is a little creepy for DD!)...

We also watched Splash and BTMRR and she's super stoked about those, and she still really wants to ride Goofy's Barnstormer, so DH relented and said he'd go on it with her "if she held his hand"!!!

So I think that we all really won out... I think she will enjoy *some* of the bigger rides with me, but she's also choosing what she wants on her own terms, which is really all that I wanted in the end.

Holy cow, what a happy ending! As far as I am concerned this is pretty much the ideal model for resolving a conflict over parenting choices. It sounds like you are a great couple with a great kid and I'm pretty much ready to invite myself into your marriage. I hope you have a great time and make a lot of fun family memories on your trip.

 

[BellsFam]

Holy cow, what a happy ending! As far as I am concerned this is pretty much the ideal model for resolving a conflict over parenting choices. It sounds like you are a great couple with a great kid and I'm pretty much ready to invite myself into your marriage. I hope you have a great time and make a lot of fun family memories on your trip.

Thanks!

We have our moments... I'm HUGE on communication, and in all honestly he's the only one I don't back down to! In every day life I'm a "I get walked all over" kinda person. But not with him, he makes me stick up for myself. 15 years and going strong!

 

[Luckybee]

I would never want to limit my child's experiences because of my preferences or limitations. For instance, bell peppers of any kind make me sick (they give me an almost instant migraine, and I loathe the taste). Rather than tell my DD that bell peppers are disgusting, I encourage her to try them and explain that everyone likes different things (and that's okay).

Totally off topic but omg I thought I was the only one about the bell pepper thing. Everyone looks at me as though I have a 3rd eye when I mention this is every restaurant we go to .