arg! so angry I'm seeing stars

MichelleinMaine

DIS Veteran
Joined
Jan 22, 2008
Messages
2,401
Background info-
I have a cousin who is 22, legally emanicpated at 16, now an orphan, has had a tough life. DH and I are really her parental figures (you know, the one she calls when she needs help with her car, to borrow money, general parental sort of advice.) With the joys of this extra "daughter", we get the frustrations too, of course. ugh!

Short version of the story- my cousin and her roommate are moving out of their apartment today. Their landlord is being a jerk about refunding their deposit. Actually, he's beyond that to the point of being verbally abusive and from what they've relayed, harassing them. Their final walkthrough is today and cousin asked if I would be present. (I"ll also go take good pics before hand because I fully expect they'll need to go to small claims to get any of the money back.)

The kicker though- cousin is not planning to be there. Oh, she and her boyfriend have two days off, they are planning to visit friends. Um, hello?! We're sending voicemails back and forth (she's at work, I'm not always with-phone.) Apparently, roommate will be getting any money from the deposit (I suspect she paid the whole thing at the start of the lease because cousin likely didn't have it.) So cousin doesn't feel she needs to be there. I told her (stupid voicemail ugh!) last night I considered that a rather selfish attitude and disrepectful to both her roommate (you start a lease with her, you finish it!) and to me (like I don't have better things to be doing today too??) I've not heard back from her, I fully expect she just went on the trip. I am spitting mad, seriously! Ugh!

I will still go with the roommate (She's a nice young lady. She is very worried about doing the final walkthrough alone. She is from India and speaks English perfectly well, though many people won't make the effort to listen with her accent. The whole thing is culturally very jarring for her- I guess he's been yelling at them that they are filthy pigs and he has to pay so much to get it cleaned. {baloney!}) So I'll still go for her sake, but I am so so so mad at cousin. Just had to vent!!
 
did your cousin mention she would not be there? Maybe there was a misunderstanding that she asked you to be there instead of her.

But to ask you to be there to close out her lease when she just wants to go visiting??? well that is not right? I could see if she had a job interview or something else important.

Mikeeee
 
You are doing the right thing by helping the roommate. The next time the cousin comes for money I would just close the wallet.
 
She did not mention til after I said yes to being there, that she would not be there. Hence the phone tag on the voice mails that followed. If she had a job interview, unreschedulable doctor's appt, couldn't get off work, I wouldn't have an issue. She's just going to visit other friends though. (A 2 hour car trip, not plane tickets or anything anywhere.)

Frustrates me her irresponsiblity affects the roommate though. I wish I could let her just naturally learn her lesson, but there's nothing in it for her. (And roommate is too sweet to get mad at her, and they're not roommates after today anyway...)
 

Good grief. If you love your cousin, do her the favor and let go of the angst.
 















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