JLTraveling
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2005
- Messages
- 2,709
I posted a few months back about some trouble I was having with my uncle and his girlfriend over an upcoming trip. That trip got postponed, and now that it's almost time again, the drama is heating up.
Cast of Characters:
Me - early 30s, freelance writer, doing okay but not exactly made of money
Dad - my father, 50-something and disabled, lives with me, good pension but not exactly rolling in dough
Cousin - late 20s, married with 2 kids, like a sister when we were kids, hasn't been to Disney in 15 years
Cousin's husband - late 20s, never been to Disney, only been outside of TN twice on day trips, never been on vacation
Uncle - cousin's father, dad's brother, 50-something, unemployment just ran out, turned down twice for disability, no income
Uncle's girlfriend - a real witch. She pays the bills for uncle, I'll give her that. But she's controlling, mean, abusive, paranoid...takes away his phone if he doesn't put every call on speakerphone, refers to herself as his wife, only lets him drive his car (which he paid for) when the other roommate in the house doesn't need/want it, rarely permits him to be out of her sight. We absolutely refuse to have anything to do with her since an incident a couple of months ago when uncle had a medical procedure, and girlfriend lied flat-out about his condition to cousin, refused to let her talk to him on the phone, and was in hysterics until cousin borrowed money from a relative to fly down...by the time she got here the procedure was over...anyway, a whole bunch of other drama ensued while cousin was down. Now we just don't deal with the woman.
Dad and I are bringing cousin and her husband down for a little over a week. We're paying for their flights, their tickets (Disney and Universal, plus Halloween Horror Nights), the condo (offsite villa for two weeks), their food, everything. They're with us from Sept 22-Oct 1. Then they're with uncle and the witch from Oct 1-Oct 5.
Uncle's birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and he wanted to go to AK with the free birthday ticket (he'd never been, last visit to WDW was about 20 years ago). Dad and I offered to go with him since we know the ropes. After a bit of drama, the girlfriend allowed him to go with us. Knowing that cousin had never been to WDW with her father, and knowing that he has zero money to do anything fun with her during the days she's with him, Dad and I decided to upgrade uncle's free birthday ticket to a seasonal pass. We figured that way they could spend some time together at the parks.
More background...the witch has some in-home caregiver job (gee, that's healthy!) and is gone for 6 nights every other week. The condo sleeps six. Uncle would be alone most of the time cousin is here anyway.
So...uncle was almost crying, he was so appreciative of the seasonal pass. We were worried he would get "in trouble" for it, but he assured us everything was cool.
So we called him tonight to give him a final schedule for the upcoming trip, and invited him for certain days. We will pay for his meals on those days, and he can leave his car at the condo, so it'll cost him nothing. We also mentioned that, if he wants, he can spend any of the nights between at the condo with us.
Not five minutes later, the girlfriend called. She said that we got our (edited) wish, uncle was packing his stuff and would be leaving in the morning without his car or phone. He's our (edited) problem now.
After repeatedly calling uncle's phone and being hung up on, he finally called us. Told me in no uncertain terms that she is a big part of his life and I have to accept that. I told him that I do accept it, it's his choice. BUT, that doesn't translate to me being obligated to invite her along on our vacation. I told him calmly that Dad, cousin, her husband, and I are in agreement that we don't want the girlfriend along on this particular trip. If uncle chooses not to attend because he doesn't want to "slight" her, that's fine. We understand. But she's still not invited.
Girlfriend then took the phone and proceeded to curse me up one side and down the other. She repeatedly insisted that she is his "WIFE" and she WILL be involved in every single thing he does, and she will not "allow" me to prevent that. After a bit of back and forth I called her a not so Disney name and she hung up on me.
Then came the two-hour discussion with the cousin. She flatly doesn't want the girlfriend involved AT ALL. Her husband can't stand the woman, and he's never even met her. This is when it comes out that the girlfriend has been calling cousin DAILY, bold-faced lying to her about things that allegedly happened in our family when cousin was a child....really bad stuff like the end of life choices that were made during our grandmother's final illness! Keep in mind, this woman has been around for all of about six months now, and grandma died 17 years ago! So now I don't know if uncle has been lying to her and she's repeating it, or if she's making things up that she thinks sound good (bad?)
So now poor cousin's stuck in the middle. She just wants to come to FL and have a good time, and get away from the drama that she's been having at home. She wants to see us, and she wants to see her father. But this woman is absolutely dead-set on ruining everything for everyone.
What would you do????
Cast of Characters:
Me - early 30s, freelance writer, doing okay but not exactly made of money
Dad - my father, 50-something and disabled, lives with me, good pension but not exactly rolling in dough
Cousin - late 20s, married with 2 kids, like a sister when we were kids, hasn't been to Disney in 15 years
Cousin's husband - late 20s, never been to Disney, only been outside of TN twice on day trips, never been on vacation
Uncle - cousin's father, dad's brother, 50-something, unemployment just ran out, turned down twice for disability, no income
Uncle's girlfriend - a real witch. She pays the bills for uncle, I'll give her that. But she's controlling, mean, abusive, paranoid...takes away his phone if he doesn't put every call on speakerphone, refers to herself as his wife, only lets him drive his car (which he paid for) when the other roommate in the house doesn't need/want it, rarely permits him to be out of her sight. We absolutely refuse to have anything to do with her since an incident a couple of months ago when uncle had a medical procedure, and girlfriend lied flat-out about his condition to cousin, refused to let her talk to him on the phone, and was in hysterics until cousin borrowed money from a relative to fly down...by the time she got here the procedure was over...anyway, a whole bunch of other drama ensued while cousin was down. Now we just don't deal with the woman.
Dad and I are bringing cousin and her husband down for a little over a week. We're paying for their flights, their tickets (Disney and Universal, plus Halloween Horror Nights), the condo (offsite villa for two weeks), their food, everything. They're with us from Sept 22-Oct 1. Then they're with uncle and the witch from Oct 1-Oct 5.
Uncle's birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and he wanted to go to AK with the free birthday ticket (he'd never been, last visit to WDW was about 20 years ago). Dad and I offered to go with him since we know the ropes. After a bit of drama, the girlfriend allowed him to go with us. Knowing that cousin had never been to WDW with her father, and knowing that he has zero money to do anything fun with her during the days she's with him, Dad and I decided to upgrade uncle's free birthday ticket to a seasonal pass. We figured that way they could spend some time together at the parks.
More background...the witch has some in-home caregiver job (gee, that's healthy!) and is gone for 6 nights every other week. The condo sleeps six. Uncle would be alone most of the time cousin is here anyway.
So...uncle was almost crying, he was so appreciative of the seasonal pass. We were worried he would get "in trouble" for it, but he assured us everything was cool.
So we called him tonight to give him a final schedule for the upcoming trip, and invited him for certain days. We will pay for his meals on those days, and he can leave his car at the condo, so it'll cost him nothing. We also mentioned that, if he wants, he can spend any of the nights between at the condo with us.
Not five minutes later, the girlfriend called. She said that we got our (edited) wish, uncle was packing his stuff and would be leaving in the morning without his car or phone. He's our (edited) problem now.
After repeatedly calling uncle's phone and being hung up on, he finally called us. Told me in no uncertain terms that she is a big part of his life and I have to accept that. I told him that I do accept it, it's his choice. BUT, that doesn't translate to me being obligated to invite her along on our vacation. I told him calmly that Dad, cousin, her husband, and I are in agreement that we don't want the girlfriend along on this particular trip. If uncle chooses not to attend because he doesn't want to "slight" her, that's fine. We understand. But she's still not invited.
Girlfriend then took the phone and proceeded to curse me up one side and down the other. She repeatedly insisted that she is his "WIFE" and she WILL be involved in every single thing he does, and she will not "allow" me to prevent that. After a bit of back and forth I called her a not so Disney name and she hung up on me.
Then came the two-hour discussion with the cousin. She flatly doesn't want the girlfriend involved AT ALL. Her husband can't stand the woman, and he's never even met her. This is when it comes out that the girlfriend has been calling cousin DAILY, bold-faced lying to her about things that allegedly happened in our family when cousin was a child....really bad stuff like the end of life choices that were made during our grandmother's final illness! Keep in mind, this woman has been around for all of about six months now, and grandma died 17 years ago! So now I don't know if uncle has been lying to her and she's repeating it, or if she's making things up that she thinks sound good (bad?)
So now poor cousin's stuck in the middle. She just wants to come to FL and have a good time, and get away from the drama that she's been having at home. She wants to see us, and she wants to see her father. But this woman is absolutely dead-set on ruining everything for everyone.
What would you do????
I love my DIS family! I really appreciate all the support and well-wishes. I know you're all right, and the focus here needs be on creating a magical trip for myself, Dad, Cousin, and Cousin's hubby. I just feel so sad that there have been so few truly magical times between Cousin and her dad, but on those rare occasions, they've been really special. And for a long time, my dad and my uncle barely spoke, and now they finally really like each other and get along so well. I've poured so much time, money and energy into this trip, and everyone but the witch is thrilled with the plans. But she has loud enough lungs, a foul enough mouth, and painful enough attacks that she manages to ruin an entire group's mood for an entire day. And she's actively trying to poison both cousin and uncle against Dad and me. It's tough to swallow.
