Are your affairs in order?

[clh2]

No, I really do not need to know, just want to get you thinking...

A husband and wife died in a car accident yesterday morning, very close to where I live. Left behind 5 children between 1 and 13 years old.

I have no idea if they had planned for such a catastrophic event.

So...just my PSA-your children are counting on you to do some planning. A will, specifying preferred guardians, life insurance, medical powers of attorney, etc are all valuable documents to have completed.

 

[low-key]

my affair is out of order

 

[DVCLiz]

Yes, I did all this many years ago when I became single. My will could use updating since DD20 no longer needs a guardian, but I will wait now and do that after she is 21. Everything I have in place would still be valid, I would just drop the clause about guardianship.

Now that my nest is empty I am working hard to declutter and get all my paperwork, accessories, craft supplies etc. in order so if someone had to come in things would be organized and not the usual giant mess they are in now .

 

[tigercat]

Went to the lawyer yesterday to update our will. Also, am doing our Power of Attorney's for property and personal care. We did it about 36 yrs. ago when the kids were little. They are now 38, 37 and 34 and 33. They don't need a guardian any more.
tigercat

 

[JessicaR]

all of our affairs are in order and have been since we had children. however, now that said children are young adults things have been adjusted.

something to stay on top of, for sure.

 

[Micca]

Susan doesn't know about Lucy, but Alicia knows about Liz.

 

[JessicaR]

my affair is out of order

As long as they don't know - you're ok.

 

[rodeo65]

Great PSA! Ours were done when the kids were babies, but need to be updated. One half of our preferred guardian couple is in a very serious and life threatening health battle. I'm no longer sure they would be willing (and certainly at this moment in time able) to go from two kids to four.

Our other options are not good ones, though which was why they were our first choice.

Also need Medical PAs.

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

It is so important especially if there are young children involved. We've had a will for years. Did it when our first DS was a baby. We also had a couple in our community get killed in a motorcycle accident. Their children were all grown but it was a mess for them to get through. The kids had no idea where anything was or even if they had wills. I have tried to keep my kids up to speed regarding where our will is kept and where we have life insurance policies so they have some idea of where to start at least if something happened to us.

 

[tvguy]

Yup.
Wills up to date, reflect the kids are adults now.
House and all bank accounts in a trust.
Long term care policy in place.
Kids know our final wishes. Inherited cemetery plots, so that part is handled. Considered pre-paid funerals, but had bad experiences with pre-paid funerals with Grandparents, so kids will have to pay for that out of our assets.

Only issue to be decided is whether to continue having life insurance. No need for it, our assets will cover all our final expenses.

 

[maslex]

Yup.
Wills up to date, reflect the kids are adults now.
House and all bank accounts in a trust.
Long term care policy in place.
Kids know our final wishes. Inherited cemetery plots, so that part is handled. Considered pre-paid funerals, but had bad experiences with pre-paid funerals with Grandparents, so kids will have to pay for that out of our assets.

Only issue to be decided is whether to continue having life insurance. No need for it, our assets will cover all our final expenses.

You don't have to answer and I don't mean to pry but I'm curious about the bad experience with a pre-paid funeral???

Reason I'm asking is because my mom does not have life insurance. She was just diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer back in October. She didn't want the burden of paying the funeral to land on us kids (there's 3 of us). So she started paying the funeral home X-amount of money each month and she just sent in her last payment a few weeks ago. I never realized that there could be any problems with paying ahead of time. This is a funeral home that we have used MANY times in the past (grandparents, uncle, cousins, my dad, many other extended family members) The funeral director has known our family for years. Now I'm wondering if there's anything we should be worried about?

 

[John VN]

PSA-addition......Revocable Living Trust, in addition to the WILL.

You don't have to answer and I don't mean to pry but I'm curious about the bad experience with a pre-paid funeral???

Reason I'm asking is because my mom does not have life insurance. She was just diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer back in October. She didn't want the burden of paying the funeral to land on us kids (there's 3 of us). So she started paying the funeral home X-amount of money each month and she just sent in her last payment a few weeks ago. I never realized that there could be any problems with paying ahead of time. This is a funeral home that we have used MANY times in the past (grandparents, uncle, cousins, my dad, many other extended family members) The funeral director has known our family for years. Now I'm wondering if there's anything we should be worried about?

Our experience was great. Local FH, fully pre-paid. A solid contract is very important.

 

[Aliceacc]

We did all that before we adopted my son: will, guardians, life insurance.

Before the first of my surgeries in 2008, I made sure I had a Health Care Proxy.

There's a folder in the file cabinet labeled "VERY important" that contains all the documents... as of Sandy, it's in a plastic bag.

Plus, the lawyer who did our will is my brother in law; he has a copy.

 

[maslex]

PSA-addition......Revocable Living Trust, in addition to the WILL.



Our experience was great. Local FH, fully pre-paid. A solid contract is very important.

So what's the difference between revocable and irrevocable?

 

[lakelandgal70]

Yes we had will made out couple years ago before we went on our first cruise lol. Better safe then sorry. Everyone should have a will prepared. That way your wishes are known and they hopefully won't be any fighting or confusion. Although death makes people do crazy things.

 

[mom2boys]

Excellent PSA.
My brothers and I where 18, 17 & 5 when our parents were killed in an auto accident. The year before they had made wills before taking an overseas trip. My mother was deathly afraid of flying. (Ironic, I know). As the oldest she sat me down and told me her wishes. My mother's will named her sister as guardian. My father's named his mother. That was because my aunt was on the flight with my parents and my grandmother did not go on the trip. My mother explained this to me and the fact that my aunt was truly the guardian of choice. There was some confusion over the intended guardianship, but I was able to address it because of the conversation my mother had had with me.
Be sure to add a survivorship clause. My mother lived 4 hours longer than my father - past midnight, so her date of death was a officially a day later. There was no official survivorship clause so technically things had to pass from my father to my mother and then to us kids. It made things more complex for my aunt who was also the executor.
PSA also reminds me that DH and I need to update our wills not that both boys are legal adults. They are both in college and we will leave the attorney as executor because neither of them is ready for all that entails - even with a small "estate".

 

[laurafergie]

Thanks for the PSA. We are dealing with this again. Our will has everything, (not much) in trust to pay for the two younger DDs education and living expenses. DS27 is guardian.

However. We have moved out of state from DS27, and he now has a GF he lives with. (She is very nice, but I don't think she is mom material) The older DDs are still in Grad school. There is seriously no one that is not over 70 in our family that I want younger DDs living with. Not to mention, needing an interium guardian in our state until DS could get here. So right now, we are just talking and talking with no resolution.

 

[Aliceacc]

PSA also reminds me that DH and I need to update our wills not that both boys are legal adults. They are both in college and we will leave the attorney as executor because neither of them is ready for all that entails - even with a small "estate".

Also, please make sure that each of your college aged kids fills out a health care proxy form.

Should they become unable to make the important decisions for themselves, you need legal proof that they want you to act in their best interests.

Before the Seniors at my school graduate, they'll have an assembly where these sort of issues are discussed. Not pleasant, but incredibly important before they leave to go off on their own.

 

[tvguy]

PSA-addition......Revocable Living Trust, in addition to the WILL.



Our experience was great. Local FH, fully pre-paid. A solid contract is very important.

Yes revocable.

 

[tvguy]

You don't have to answer and I don't mean to pry but I'm curious about the bad experience with a pre-paid funeral???

This was in Illinois. DW's Grandfather and Grandmother were in a nursing home, but could not afford to pay for it. To get state aid they had to sell their house put the money and all but $2,000 of their savings toward the cost of the nursing home. They were allowed to pre-pay for their funerals from that before the money went to the nursing home.
They bought a plan to cover both of them. But it did not guarantee the prices of the funerals. I believe that was a trust fund plan. When Grandfather passed away, his funeral exhausted the balance leaving nothing for Grandmothers funeral in the future. That was problem one.
So DW, out of our money (because her cousins had no money) bought an insured pre-paid funeral plan for Grandmother. When Grandmother passed away the plan's value was greater than the funeral ended up costing. The law prohibits refunding any overage, it has to be spent on the funeral. So to exhaust the fund the funeral home had to buy $500 in additional flowers (the plan called for $100 worth) and pay the Priest who performed the service $750 (instead of the normal $100). That was problem two. Wasn't too pleased with the Priest's attitude either. He tried to get the funeral home to move the day of the funeral because it was scheduled on his day off. Well, I never took a vow of poverty like he did, but I sure would consider working for an hour on my day off for $750.