Are you mean?

[AmazingGrace]

I'm sorry. It sort of just....slipped out. I need to reprogram my self editing chip.

 

[teacups]

I should probably confess. Im not always a nice person. I just try to be respectful, I guess. I am maybe meaner in real life... sometimes it's the look on someone's face that can send me over that "needs professional help" edge. Funny thing that helps me on line... I always have time to think about what I wrote, and reread it, and maybe even delete a pharse or two before I send it. Also, I can re-read what someone else wrote and decide if I took it wrong the first time.

In real life, oh man, once it's said, it's said!

Really, you can't go back when you tell another Mom at the PTO meeting that the meeting isnt really about HER coffee and HER jewelry, but kinda about classroom issues... and if she'd like to contribute to THAT, to feel free to continue sharing...

I do tend to stand up for the underdog more often than I need too... I dont know what that's all about.

So, does one equal out the other? Please?

 

[ilovejack02]

Im not mean, but Im lazy i hear.

 

[auntpolly]

I'm sorry. It sort of just....slipped out. I need to reprogram my self editing chip.

I was kidding! I have no shame - I need to do a little reprogramming in that area!!!

 

[U2_rocks!]

Well that is what I am working on. Asking myself if what I have to say really contributes to the thread, hasn't already been said better, or is even what the poster wants to hear.

There I have been many threads that I started to reply to, and then changed my mind. My contribution would have been pointless bickering. I am striving for the stage where I can actually have empathy for the situation, but would be content just to be able to shake my head at the computer screen and go on.

But there are some things I feel strongly enough about that I will always put my feelings out there, no matter how mean they are. It would be dishonest of me not to - not dishonest to the DIS, but dishonest to myself. If someone makes a comment I find offensive, I really feel duty-bound to respond to it.

Now in the Dixie Chicks threads (one of them) I had a little mean-spirited fun at the expense of Ann Coulter. I was being mean. I suggested throwing things at her. My replies in that vein were mostly for the amusement of a couple other posters on that thread, and partly because I really loathe Ann Coulter and couldn't possibly pretend otherwise.

It's true that some things are "hot buttons", and it's extremely hard NOT to post. Sometimes it depends on mood too - there are times I can stomach the inevitable debate, other times I just can't. You put yourself out there on the DIS a lot more than I do (and I suspect in real life as well), and there's not a thing wrong with that - I don't consider that mean at all, just a function of a different personality. And most of the time I can tell the difference between someone who just feels strongly about something, and someone who is just being argumentative and obnoxious!

 

[AmazingGrace]

I was kidding! I have no shame - I need to do a little reprogramming in that area!!!

Oh, I know, you shameless thing, you!!!
I forgot to put in a winking smiley.

 

[MAKmom]

To me, the meanest people of all are the ones who act nice and then are mean behind your back -- people who just hang around, waiting for someone to say something they can mock so they can run back to their little friends to yuck it up about them.

It gets super disgusting when it happens online.

I've been called mean on this board - but I've usually just been giving my honest opinion and really not trying to be mean -- I just wish sometimes people would put a disclaimer in their posts if they don't want to hear the truth - [i]"I'd like your opinion, but only if you agree with me"[/i] - or something like that would be very helpful!

Your quoting me Aunt Polly. I've suggested that disclamer before.

 

[auntpolly]

Your quoting me Aunt Polly. I've suggested that disclamer before.

Oh, sorry! Well, it was a very good idea! Sorry to rip it off, but I agree!

 

[MAKmom]

Oh, sorry! Well, it was a very good idea! Sorry to rip it off, but I agree!

It really should be added to the Signature

 

[jimmalru80]

I'm not a mean person here. But I have been told (to paraphrase Toby from the West Wing), that even on my sunniest of days, I'm not the nicest person to be around.

 

[UrsulasShadow]

I used to be mean, or at least very blunt and opinionated. Then I saw the effect it had on people, and realized that yes, there are people (real people) reading these posts. Since then, I've tried to tone it down as much as possible. I try to imagine the person standing right in front of me, face to face, before I answer.

If the OP is just trying to pick a fight, though, I'll try not to get sucked into the discussion. I try to avoid extreme political threads for that reason. If someone is honestly asking my opinion and reasoning, in order to better understand something, I'll offer it. Most times, though, political threads are there to start a mud-slinging war. I dodge them at that point, rather than get nasty along with them.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

on hee NO but in real life I kinda think so : ) I wouldnt be comfortable being mean behind a screen name

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I always sort of chuckle when I see threads like this come up here. Mainly because these boards are soooooo tame compared to others I have visted. As a matter of fact, I would say for as many members who post here regularly, this website is FULL of extremely nice and helpful people. Seriously.

I agree with this (other than a select few individuals who shall remain nameless.)

I don't try to be mean. I know I can be blunt, but I really I hope I don't come across as mean, because I don't intend to. I am often one of the first to call other posters on statements that I find mean-spirited or hypocritical, but not to be mean, just to see if that's really what they meant.

 

[C.Ann]

I call them like I see them.. I don't like to beat around the bush.. When I have a strong belief or opinion, I voice it..

On the other hand, I will offer sympathy when and where I think it's deserved and am more than willing to lend a sympathetic ear or say a prayer for someone when it's warranted..

Don't know if that could be classified as "mean" or not - but that's the way I am - and I've never been faced with any ugly issues regarding my behavior..

 

[hello kitty]

Sometimes I think the people here are too nice.

I was the general chat moderator of a popular gaming forum for a few years. Much like the Dis, it was large and very active. There were thousands of members, general ages were from young teens to mid-twenties. Now that, that was a rough crowd. It could be and often was brutal. There wasn't much in place as far as rules. Nothing like here. So, you can imagine. I'm happy to say though, that by the time I'd left, most of that had changed.

 

[disykat]

I think mean is definately subjective.

I'm going to pick on teacups a bit because she started the post, but I'm doing it to make a point so bear with me. My very first thought when I saw this post was "why is teacups starting this post when she was so mean on the homeschooling thread the other day?" Sorry, teacups, but it's true - that was my first thought.

I even went back just now to reread it and I still think what she said about parents who have their kids in public school was mean. However, I had decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she didn't mean it like I read it.

I think what she said on the other thread was mean. However, that doesn't mean she meant it to be.

I would guess ALL of us are seen as mean at one time or the other depending on their perspective. I pretty much got called mean (I don't know if they used that word but it was a huge flame war about how terrible I was) on a thread once because I said something irritated me. While it seemed to me I was just giving my opinion on a thread that had asked for opinions, those who had done the thing I found irritating were extremely offended that I dared to find it irritating.

While it happens occasionally, I don't think most people here are TRYING to be mean. Most people are giving their opinions and somehow the written word doesn't quite enable them to get their point across without someone taking offense.

I doubt think there are very many people on here who someone doesn't think is mean at some point. I've seen people here I really respect say something and I think "whoa, where did that come from?" It's pretty easy to type a few words and have someone upset. AND - it's also very easy to jump on the bandwagon when you see others reacted negatively at well. Things can go downhill quickly here without a LOT of benefit of the doubt happening.