Are you confrontational?

[Robinrs]

Ask my son, I'm confrontational when I have to be, but I don't have to be because very few people IRL bother me.

It's the NYer in me I guess. I had to let a LOT of it go when I moved South because it's not necessary as it is in NY (people are much less confrontational here). I found that out QUICKLY after people APOLOGIZED to me instead of standing up to me like they did back home... Way to make you feel like a heel!

The older I get the less I have to use it. People automatically respect older people in the South... and I'm enjoying it!!

 

[NFLDERS]

Better if it's the person confronting someone rather than their partner whom may get in trouble.

The confronter in me became involved when a ball hit me in the head during a Dollar store visit. The mother of the ball thrower was berating the employee who had politely asked that he (ds) not play with it in the store.

The women left the store yelling that she and her family would not shop there again! May have been something I said! I gave the employee my name, cell no. and left.

When DH saw me he drove up to the storefront to pick me up. I get in when out of nowhere and on his side of our vehicle appears the women. DH asks if I wish his window down to converse. He thought she was someone I knew.

I replied no realizing she did not appear (facial expressions) to be offering an
apology! On our way home DH kept eyeing the rear view just incase she had followed. Crazy!!

 

[tasha99]

Nope. My favorite means of confrontation is the "strongly worded letter."

 

[threecrazykids]

Nope. My favorite means of confrontation is the "strongly worded letter."

Ok, so then if you send the letter and the next time you see that person how do you handle it? Have you by then prepared in your mind all the possible scenarios/conversations ahead of time so you know what to say?

Or do you avoid that person altogether after you've sent the letter? What if they call you? Do you answer or avoid?

 

[threecrazykids]

Better if it's the person confronting someone rather than their partner whom may get in trouble.

The confronter in me became involved when a ball hit me in the head during a Dollar store visit. The mother of the ball thrower was berating the employee who had politely asked that he (ds) not play with it in the store.

The women left the store yelling that she and her family would not shop there again! May have been something I said! I gave the employee my name, cell no. and left.

When DH saw me he drove up to the storefront to pick me up. I get in when out of nowhere and on his side of our vehicle appears the women. DH asks if I wish his window down to converse. He thought she was someone I knew.

I replied no realizing she did not appear (facial expressions) to be offering an
apology! On our way home DH kept eyeing the rear view just incase she had followed. Crazy!!

LOL - I would have probably been all sorts of confrontational if my DH was in the car with me...especially with a stranger. I clearly have a big bark and no bite. *tough girl over here when she has backup*

 

[threecrazykids]

Nope, I do not get flustered. It is sick because I actually get calm and enjoy it.

If I had your dog situation, it would not be pretty. Not sure how I would handle it, but I play to win.

If my neighbors allowed their dogs to pee and poop in my yard daily, there would be words said every time. That would tick me off to the max.

I really wish I was like that.

I just can't think of how to say something without causing drama. I think I just care too much what people say or think about me so that is what inhibits me from really speaking my mind.

But boy oh boy can I rip em' a new one from inside my house every time I watch the dog go yard to yard marking his daily rounds. It just flames me. I know...first world problems, right?

 

[ready123go]

For example: I SOOOOOO badly want to confront my neighbor about the fact that they repeatedly let their dog run loose and let him pee and poop all over everyone's yards. We live in a 7 house little neighborhood outside of town, newer houses, etc. The situation has been addressed at MULTIPLE association meetings (I'm not the only one who has an issue with it...not to mention you're not suppose to just let your dogs run) and they just flat out ignore it. Every single day they let the dog out...he makes his rounds in the neighborhood peeing on everyone's flowers, yards etc. and they just say "he's old...he's not hurting anything...he's a YORKIE for cryin' out loud...he doesn't even pee that much".

I know I won't ever have the nerve to say anything directly to them - but I have stood out right at the end of the driveway when he comes over to do his business and tell him "no" and stand there and look at her like "WTH"? She'll call him back like I'm just a mean ole' witch.

I just wish I had the guts to walk over and say something but 1. it's pointless because they've been told and think they are above the rules and 2. I have no idea what I'd say without causing huge issues and drama. I do like them...I just don't get why they continue to allow him to do it when they know that everyone has made it clear it bothers them.

I have heard of neighbors banning together to get the message across.

They would each gather the poo in their yards and leave it with the offending neighbor (or on the doorstep) with the words (or a note saying) "I believe this belongs to you."

 

[NFLDERS]

Better if it's the person confronting someone rather than their partner whom may get in trouble.

The confronter in me became involved when a ball hit me in the head during a Dollar store visit. The mother of the ball thrower was berating the employee who had politely asked that he (ds) not play with it in the store.

The women left the store yelling that she and her family would not shop there again! May have been something I said! I gave the employee my name, cell no. and left.

When DH saw me he drove up to the storefront to pick me up. I get in when out of nowhere and on his side of our vehicle appears the women. DH asks if I wish his window down to converse. He thought she was someone I knew.

I replied no realizing she did not appear (facial expressions) to be offering an
apology! On our way home DH kept eyeing the rear view just incase she had followed. Crazy!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I really wish I was like that.

I just can't think of how to say something without causing drama. I think I just care too much what people say or think about me so that is what inhibits me from really speaking my mind.

But boy oh boy can I rip em' a new one from inside my house every time I watch the dog go yard to yard marking his daily rounds. It just flames me. I know...first world problems, right?

I could give two bits what someone "thinks" of me while they are trying to one up me.

Gaming is in my DNA, I think. My grandpa was a pool hustler during the Great Depression. My father went FISHING this past weekend with 4 herniated discs. My sibs are also gamers.

We enjoy the competition. I can't explain it. You have to "be calm" to listen to a person's "confrontation" in order to formulate a superior retort.

 

[Jennasis]

Noooooooo. I really don't like confrontation...IRL.

 

[aaarcher86]

Better if it's the person confronting someone rather than their partner whom may get in trouble.

The confronter in me became involved when a ball hit me in the head during a Dollar store visit. The mother of the ball thrower was berating the employee who had politely asked that he (ds) not play with it in the store.

The women left the store yelling that she and her family would not shop there again! May have been something I said! I gave the employee my name, cell no. and left.

When DH saw me he drove up to the storefront to pick me up. I get in when out of nowhere and on his side of our vehicle appears the women. DH asks if I wish his window down to converse. He thought she was someone I knew.

I replied no realizing she did not appear (facial expressions) to be offering an
apology! On our way home DH kept eyeing the rear view just incase she had followed. Crazy!!

Ah see! Id roll down the window! Couldnt help myself!

 

[pieface]

I'm pretty laid back and not much bothers me I know people are going to be stupid and just accept that. If someone verbally gets confrontational I just get a poop eating grin and wish them a good day and ignore them. If they turn physically confrontational I punch their lights out give them a poop eating grin wish them a good day and walk away going about my business. I am very slow to anger but once I loose it I really loose it.

 

[NFLDERS]

Ah see! Id roll down the window! Couldnt help myself!

No, I had nothing further to say to her. If I'd thought she looked like an apology was what was in the air I would have. It's pretty sad to see someone carry on like she did in front of her child when, clearly she was being a bully.

 

[pieface]

Archer I had a woman similar to the above she ran out of a Wal-Mart store (go figure) screaming at the top of her lungs st me. I have no idea why she was screaming at me. I rolled my window down and she continued to scream at me. I pulled my car forward and came to a stop she ran up and continued to scream. I continued doing this until I was about 100 yards across the parking lot. When she realized how far away from the store she was she got this stupid look on her face and shut up. I started laughing and gave her the happy motoring salute and drove away. I was laughing so hard I almost wet my pants.

 

[Disney Doll]

I've never heard it referred to as the "Happy Motoring Salute". When I had my young niece in the cars years ago, a "gentleman" (ahem) gave us the Happy Motoring Salute because HE went through a red light almost hit me so I beeped.

My young niece asked me what that meant and I said "It means he thinks we're number 1. The best".

Her mother was less than enthised a little later when my niece gave her the salute and said "But Mommy it's because I think you're number 1. The best".

Ooops.

As far as being confrontational...I don't particularly like to start confrontations. I try to handle things in a smoothe rational manner most of the time. However I won't back down from a confrontation and I especially like when someone tries to intimidate me by getting into my space because then I draw myself up in all my Pooh-sized glory and they back off.

 

[Kitty 34]

Not on the DIS....this is my "relaxing" zone. But in real life......yes, I can be! Probably why I have some issues with high blood pressure!

 

[threecrazykids]

I could give two bits what someone "thinks" of me while they are trying to one up me.

Gaming is in my DNA, I think. My grandpa was a pool hustler during the Great Depression. My father went FISHING this past weekend with 4 herniated discs. My sibs are also gamers.

We enjoy the competition. I can't explain it. You have to "be calm" to listen to a person's "confrontation" in order to formulate a superior retort.

I'm coming to your house for Confrontation 101.

 

[threecrazykids]

I have heard of neighbors banning together to get the message across.

They would each gather the poo in their yards and leave it with the offending neighbor (or on the doorstep) with the words (or a note saying) "I believe this belongs to you."

I have thought about doing this...but they wouldn't care I don't think. They'd just continue letting him do his daily rounds. What I think is funny is that every time it comes up they act like it's the first time they're hearing of it. I'm not sure if they are really that dumb or if they don't get the point that we are all NICELY telling you to keep your damn dog in your yard!

I also thought about getting one of those Scarecrow sensor driven sprayers that go off when anything comes in it's path. I just know that every time our poor mailman came up to put mail in the mailbox he (and his entire vehicle) would be sprayed.

 

[married2mm]

I don't think I'm confrontational (agree with the pp who said it's seen as a negative) however,I 'll say something if the situation dictates-or send a letter/ email.

I'm more likely to address an issue face to face than my dh.
He's more rational and I'm more emotional.

 

[pieface]

Disney doll that is really funny. I guess the child's mother did not have a sense humor. LOL