Are people who have weddings on holiday weekends selfish and rude?

[spagheddie]

One of my all time pet peeves. There's nothing worse than ruining a long weekend then by having to go to someone's wedding. So-so food, lame crowd, and in the summer sweating my "you-know-what's-off" in a suit.

My BIL had to go to one over Memorial Day and now another over the 4th of July. We all know the world revolves around you when you get married, but it shouldn't revolve around you for 3 or 4 days.

Long weekends are few and far between, most of us would like to be able to go down the shore or maybe do nothing at all. Those options are better than having to sit at a table with people you hardly know or like, watch uncomfortably as people attempt to dance the congo or the electric side, and wince as people make utter fools of themselves trying to get the bouquet and garter.

Anyone feel the same way or better yet, anyone guilty of subjecting the very people you hold so near and dear to your heart to this kind of torture?

 

[disneygals]

Well, I got married on Thanksgiving weekend and didn't realize that I was evil. It was the only Sat available where I wanted my reception. I think if someone is that put off by the date of a wedding, they shouldn't attend.

 

[carole88]

If you know you are going to have such a terrible time why do you accept the invitation?

I would think that if the wedding was for someone you really cared for you would go whenever it was and would have fun instead of complaining about everything.

 

[monkeyboy]

I like it..gives you time to enjoy and have a day off or 2
If you travel for a wedding take in some sights before or after

 

[Bob Slydell]

Just a guess, but I'm thinking they probably didn't pick the date specifically to piss you off.

 

[pw2pp]

I don't think there is anything wrong with it, maybe they figure out-of-town guests will have more travel time?
If you don't want to go, or if you have other plans, just don't go. No big deal.

 

[Sandy V.]

No, I think it's a BIG generalization to say that planning such events on holiday weekends is selfish and rude.

With our mobile society, many wedding couples have family all over the country, and an extended weekend gives everyone involved a little more time to get there and back home without missing too much (or any) work days.

At least that's the reason that I know many couples use when they schedule their weddings at holidays. I think their considerations are probably more for immediate family, rather than the "regular" guests. If you're in the latter group, I understand your complaint - but I don't think they're doing it just to ruin anyone's holiday plans.

 

[Lisa F]

I actually think that people who go to weddings and complain about the food, the people attending and the weather are pretty rude. If you're going to be a jerk at someone's wedding, why not save everyone the time and money and stay home?

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Is someone holding a gun to your head and forcing you to go?

Some people can't get the time off from work for their honeymoons. Having a nice long weekend for a wedding may be their best option. That date may be sentimental to them for some reason. A lot of people travel for weddings and need time and a long weekend provides that.

That's supposed to be selfish and rude ?

I think going to someone's wedding and then complaining that the food is so-so , there is no a/c and the crowd is lame is rude when you never had to accept their invite in the first place.

I'm sorry that they wasted what was probably a nice $6 - $10 invitation on you.

 

[KarenC]

We were married on Labor Day weekend. Most of our guests had to travel from out of town to celebrate with us. Having the extra day before they had to get back to work made it easier for them. I don't remember anyone complaining--those who wanted to be there were, and those who couldn't didn't come. I love having a long weekend close to our anniversary so we can get away to celebrate.

 

[Minnesota!]

I am obviously in the minority, but I agree with the OP. I don't want to spend my holiday weekend at a wedding, a birthday ANYTHING! I want to be able to do whatever I want, and trust me, dressing up and going somewhere formal is NOT something I want to do. I think it IS rude.

I have a friend that got married on Labor Day weekend, and a cousin that got married on July 4th. All people did at the weddings was complain about wanting to be at the cabin, etc.

 

[Bumbles]

I agree with pw2pp.....often times it's done to accomodate folks who otherwise might not have been able to get the time off of work.

If you feel it's such an imposition, send your regrets.

No muss, no fuss

 

[TinkBoo&ElliesMum]

Originally posted by Minnesota!
I am obviously in the minority, but I agree with the OP. I don't want to spend my holiday weekend at a wedding, a birthday ANYTHING!

Birthdays too?!?!

I personally don't care. Most of our friends elope anyways. DH's best friend got married on Memorial Day, in Japan. Wasn't an issue, we didn't go.

 

[Disney Enthusiast]

I always find my long holiday weekends precious as well. My DH works all the other ones.

But I always thought they scheduled their weddings on the holiday weekends out of consideration for those who must travel to their wedding or for those who must work most weekends. This way they know you will probably have off, and they give you enough time to get there. I always felt that because why else would a young couple want to "share" their anniversary w/ a holiday for the next umpteen years.

My DH's B-day is Christmas Eve and we find it so difficult to celebrate his B-day w/ the family as the family grows and grows. We end up having to celebrate it another day. So if your anniversary is on that day, I would think it would be difficult to make dinner reservations to celebrate over the years. So I think they probably schedule over a holiday weekend to accommodate family and friends mostly. JMHO.

 

[shelbyjosh]

Our wedding was on Labor Day weekend almost 12 years ago. We did not see anything wrong with having it then. If people like you were so opposed to it they did not need to come. But apparently they were normal and all that were invited showed up!! They knew far enough in advance and we were their big Labor Day festivity!!

 

[Lisa F]

Originally posted by Minnesota!
I am obviously in the minority, but I agree with the OP. I don't want to spend my holiday weekend at a wedding, a birthday ANYTHING! I want to be able to do whatever I want, and trust me, dressing up and going somewhere formal is NOT something I want to do. I think it IS rude.

You want to be able to "do whatever you want" and the person who is getting married is the selfish one?

Sorry, but I just don't understand the concept of feeling put out when someone thinks enough of you to invite you to share in one of the most important days of their lives. If being there isn't a pleasure for you, don't go. I didn't get married on a holiday weekend but I would have MUCH preferred it if someone who would rather be elsewhere had just declined rather than sit at my wedding with an attitude (and I did have at least one of those).

 

[AZKathy]

I don't think the wedding party thinks a wedding is torture. I don't think it is either. I do believe they may have planned it for people who live a long distance away to have a longer time there without actually taking days away from work. If you don't want to go, send them your regrets and go to the shore.

 

[spagheddie]

Originally posted by Lisa F
I actually think that people who go to weddings and complain about the food, the people attending and the weather are pretty rude. If you're going to be a jerk at someone's wedding, why not save everyone the time and money and stay home?

I agree that that it would be easier to stay home, but let's be honest, depending on the person who's getting married and your relationship with them, sometimes you can't do that.

 

[BedKnobbery2]

Nope, no problem with it at all. Don't like the circumstances, don't go. Pretty simple solution.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Originally posted by Minnesota!
I am obviously in the minority, but I agree with the OP. I don't want to spend my holiday weekend at a wedding, a birthday ANYTHING! I want to be able to do whatever I want, and trust me, dressing up and going somewhere formal is NOT something I want to do. I think it IS rude.

I have a friend that got married on Labor Day weekend, and a cousin that got married on July 4th. All people did at the weddings was complain about wanting to be at the cabin, etc.

DS' birthday is Labor Day weekend -- so I guess we've been rude these past years having family over for his birthday during Labor Day weekend??