Are men always wrong?

[momof3disneyholics]

It won't. I guess I'm getting to that point of simply giving up and not caring anymore.

What about your step son? I'm sure he is attached to you by now, what will happen to him?

 

[tiff211]

the email didn't personally attack you. She had the sarcasm about the guys at the place helping her and mentioned taking your gifts back. It was immature but not that serious. I am a yeller myself, when I yell it is not a personal attack, it's me venting. Maybe she was frustrated, I know I HATE when I have to deal with my car. I call DH right away, rationally I understand that he can't drop everything to help but irrationally I am ticked because I need him and can't do it myself.

 

[Chicago526]

I'd have just told her that if money is that tight, you'll have to take HER present back to the store, too!

Seriously, I'd look into marriage counseling. If she won't go for it, here's what I'd do:

She sounds like a spoiled brat that's gotten away with behavior like this for her whole life. So treat her the way you'd treat a 2 year old throwing a tantrum. Basicly, ignore it. What she and that 2 year old are looking for is A) a reaction and B) to get their way. If they are ignored long enough, they eventually learn that throwing tantrums does not work.

Now, it's easier to ignore a 2 year old than your wife, so what I'd do is this. Kill her with kindness. Calmly explain your side of the story, DO NOT get into a fight with her and just move on. This will take time, it may take a lot of time. But hopefully, she'll eventually figure out (just like that 2 year old) that tantrums dont' get her the reaction she's looking for.

Good luck!!!

 

[Ava83]

I really do feel bad for you and I do hope it all works out for the best in the end.

 

[boomhauer]

Had I even DARED mentioned anything about any girls, she wouldn't talk to me for 2 days.

I wanted to see Derailed with Jennifer Aniston, and she got mad at me because she thought I had a crush on her.

 

[boomhauer]

I'd have just told her that if money is that tight, you'll have to take HER present back to the store, too!

Good idea - I'm taking her to see Bon Jovi next weekend, which cost me $120 for her ticket. Maybe I should just sell it.

 

[Mysteria]

Two thoughts here.

1. 2 wrongs don't make a right. Don't retaliate in just as childish a manner.

2. When did women (in general, not pointing fingers) fall back into the dark ages and become unable to handle things on their own?

Myst

 

[Miss Jasmine]

1) Don't play her games, like saying you are going to sell her ticket.
2) Try to get some kind of counseling.
3) She sounds immature, but I bet at times I sound immature as well. My DH does things that tick me off and I respond in kind, but, I have learned that there are three sides to the story...mine, his and the truth.
4) Marriages are HARD work.
5) Calm down before you say it's all over and you don't care.

 

[jekajekalynn]

I'd have just told her that if money is that tight, you'll have to take HER present back to the store, too!

Seriously, I'd look into marriage counseling. If she won't go for it, here's what I'd do:

She sounds like a spoiled brat that's gotten away with behavior like this for her whole life. So treat her the way you'd treat a 2 year old throwing a tantrum. Basicly, ignore it. What she and that 2 year old are looking for is A) a reaction and B) to get their way. If they are ignored long enough, they eventually learn that throwing tantrums does not work.

Now, it's easier to ignore a 2 year old than your wife, so what I'd do is this. Kill her with kindness. Calmly explain your side of the story, DO NOT get into a fight with her and just move on. This will take time, it may take a lot of time. But hopefully, she'll eventually figure out (just like that 2 year old) that tantrums dont' get her the reaction she's looking for.

Good luck!!!

This is EXACTLY what I thought. You guys needs counceling, and she needs to quit being such a spoiled brat.

 

[jekajekalynn]

I forgot to add.. If you ignore her behavior and don't give her the reaction that she wants, much like a spoiled toddler the behavior WILL get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. It's called and extinction burst I believe. The child or stubburn adult who should know better will escalate their meanness to see if you will respond to more worse whining and yelling. If you don't give in to her baby-ness , stand your ground, and don't do any petty retaliations it should get better.. But for goodness sakes get some counceling!!

 

[nowellsl]

First of all go buy her a membership to AAA - give it to her as a Christmas present. If something really serious had happened she probably would have no clue how to handle it! She's probably really frustrated about her car and worried about paying for it, but she shouldn't be taking it out on you!!

 

[Galahad]

Just wait for menopause. You'll be wrong AND she'll be hot.....no cold.....no hot..... Awww, that's your fault too....

 

[RadioNate]

Are you my husband? Ok not serious but early in my marriage I had moments like you've described....and yes, I was wrong.

You're wife seems insecure. And angry. 10 years ago, that was me. I wasn't used to people, MEN, being nice to me. I will not get deeply into my story on an internet message board but it took a lot of work by DH and I together and me alone for me to get better.

While she will be resistant to it, I suggest couple's counceling and therpy alone. My DH did have to force me to go. I went kicking and screaming all the way but in the end I'm a better person.

Do I still have 'bad' days. Yes. I can not deal with my car. The inspection thing had me laughing because my DH, had to do mine. I just could not do it. He doesn't understand why such a simple task is paralyzing for me and I can't really explain it either.

I'll give you a little insight how my mind works...
I call DHs cel phone
He doesn't answer
I call again
He doesn't answer
I immediately think "he's avoiding my calls" "I did something wrong and he's mad at me" "He's with another woman so he doesn't want to talk to me" "he's been hurt or is dead and can't answer the phone"
Voice mail picks up...beep
I leave nasty message like the one your wife left.

Now that doesn't happen much now, after 10 years. I still get the invading horrible thoughts but I know they are irrational and I have techniques that help me from flipping out. You're wife needs those.

I'm willing to bet there are some 'trust' issues in her past and maybe some 'fear' things too.

Bottom line is decide if you want to work for your marriage or not. I don't know how or why my DH stayed but I am forever grateful that he did!

 

[Chicago Girl]

I've been lurking here for a while now, but I just had to respond to this one. Hold the phone here everyone. Before everyone starts bashing his wife, shouldn't we know her side of this new drama. In my honest opinion, I don't think this guy wants to be married in the first place. Why do I say that? Well, for starters, based upon other threads he started, he couldn't understand why his wife would be upset because he wanted to have 2 solo trips to DW in least then one year of marriage. Second, he couldn't understand why his wife didn't feel comfortable with him going out with other females while she was at work. So, even based upon that totally inappropriate email that he shared, I firmly believe there is much more going on here then what the OP is sharing.

 

[SillyMe]

Accept it now -- you are a man. Men are never right. Even if you think you are right, you're wrong.

Women are always right. That's just the way it is. We don't care if we sound completely unreasonable -- we are never wrong. That's one of the advantages of being born female.

Don't worry, you'll get used to it.

FergieTCat, you are 100% correct. See, just proves it...a woman is always right.

 

[boomhauer]

I've been lurking here for a while now, but I just had to respond to this one. Hold the phone here everyone. Before everyone starts bashing his wife, shouldn't we know her side of this new drama. In my honest opinion, I don't think this guy wants to be married in the first place. Why do I say that? Well, for starters, based upon other threads he started, he couldn't understand why his wife would be upset because he wanted to have 2 solo trips to DW in least then one year of marriage. Second, he couldn't understand why his wife didn't feel comfortable with him going out with other females while she was at work. So, even based upon that totally inappropriate email that he shared, I firmly believe there is much more going on here then what the OP is sharing.

Congrats - Your first post is completely wrong.

I never said I couldn't understand why she had a problem with my solo trips. Just the opposite. I TOTALLY understand. In fact, I know I'm wrong for that.

As for the going out with A female friend, again, I never said I couldn't understand it. I simply asked what others would do. In fact, I admitted that it would upset me a bit if she went out with male friends.

Might wanna get the facts straight before posting.

 

[Cantw8]

I've been lurking here for a while now, but I just had to respond to this one. Hold the phone here everyone. Before everyone starts bashing his wife, shouldn't we know her side of this new drama. In my honest opinion, I don't think this guy wants to be married in the first place. Why do I say that? Well, for starters, based upon other threads he started, he couldn't understand why his wife would be upset because he wanted to have 2 solo trips to DW in least then one year of marriage. Second, he couldn't understand why his wife didn't feel comfortable with him going out with other females while she was at work. So, even based upon that totally inappropriate email that he shared, I firmly believe there is much more going on here then what the OP is sharing.

ummm, hello? Did you read his post? I wouldn't want to take her with me either

 

[Tiggeroo]

I'm curious how old you and your wife are. The posts come across as immature on both sides. This isn't a bad thing, it's a growing thing. I figure it's either immaturity or perhaps people who were single and living on their own for a long time or a combo of both. You need to get some counseling. I figure that any blended family could use this. Also, anybody who had a divorce needs to work thru those issues from the first marriage to help the second marriage to be successful. ct
I've reacted like your dw and dh has been clueless as to why. There are frequently reasons why. Sometimes when a wife is too clingy or needy it's because the husband is too distant or to unavailable. Without even realizing it the woman develops some insecurity in the relationship and responds in ways that make it more lkely to push her dh away. I know it's hard but you need to somehow get into your wife's shoes. What was her father like? What was her first marriage or early relationships like. Has something happened to cause her behaviour. Try to think thru what you could do to help her heal her hurts. I know it seems unfair but in the end you will be the one rewareded.

 

[Maleficent13]

I very, very rarely give any kind of relationship advice, but here's what I think, based on this post and previous ones from boomhauer...

There are women out there who would be totally fine with solo trips to WDW, drinks with coworkers, being able to handle a thing like a broken hood latch, etc. Here's the kicker...

You didn't marry one of those women.

Either change your expectations or change your spouse. Cause right now you're both miserable, and how is that helping anything?

 

[boomhauer]

Either change your expectations or change your spouse. Cause right now you're both miserable, and how is that helping anything?

I wouldn't go THAT far, but I see what you're saying.