Are funerals changing? (Spin off from church issues thread)

[OhMari]

There's always a viewing in my family. I have gotten used to it even though I don't really care for the practice. When my time comes, I want them to pin a button on my chest that reads, 'I don't look good, I'm dead.' My family is a little nuts so they'd find it hilarious. I told my sister I want her to play See Ya Later Alligator as people are filing past me, but I don't think that will happen.

After my viewing, I have it written down that I'm to be cremated and my ashes placed into the receptacle with my mother's. That's all I want, I don't even need a nameplate or anything to tell people I'm in there, although they can put one next to hers if they want to.

My mom found a tombstone, that has 2 recepticals in it. My dad passed away and they slid the door open and in he went. Before I left work, I purchased our cemetery plots. I asked my oldest sister if she wants to purchase hers, near us. She told me, "nope, she is going in with dad and her husband can go in with mom." My brother-in-law just laughed and told her thanks a lot. I think she is serious. I told her, just make sure you get your name engraved on the tombstones. It may seem insignificant, but it has to be done for the records that you are buried out in a cemetery.

 

[OhMari]

No 30K would include the plot, the headstone, the casket, the vault, the body prep, the viewing and the funeral. I meant it as if we had to buy plot and do all the normal funeral stuff we didn't do. And this is assuming nothing special.

Mom had a plot (Dad passed many years ago). Due to COVID we did not have a viewing or funeral. We walked past the expensive caskets and got a rose gold metal that matched my Dad's grey metal. We got the basic vault because that is all that is needed. We did have her prepped because my siblings wanted their families to see her. The only plus in that was she was a shell of herself when she passed after a month in a hospital (COVID keeping out visitors). She looked like herself again and that was a good last memory. But it was only our immediately family who got 10 minutes with her before they took her to site. Funeral home was on cemetery property. Her minister, immediate family, 15 minute "service" and we all went home, no gathering.

So for my Mom's bare bones event ...
Body preparation for a 10 minute immediate family viewing
Casket
Vault
Internment
Headstone
Tent & Chairs for 15 minute graveside
$18,000
They said their worst plot in cemetery by road was around $6,000-8,000.
Then all the funeral and viewing costs ... adds up fast.


This just isn't sustainable except for the wealthy.

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If you do a religious service, where I worked, they were doing everything in the church. Funeral homes are charging $3,000 an hour. Caskets run $5000-$7000. They charge more for everything after 5:00 p.m. and weekends. It is sad, because no one gets 2-3 days off from work any longer. This is why nites and weekends have become popular, but you will pay a hefty price for off hours.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

I told her, just make sure you get your name engraved on the tombstones. It may seem insignificant, but it has to be done for the records that you are buried out in a cemetery.

I should have added that my Mom's ashes are in a wooden box that I made for them in the week between her death and her viewing and cremation. When my sister and I went to look at the urns on offer at the funeral home, nothing seemed right for her. I asked the funeral director if Perhaps we could supply our own receptacle and he said, sure. Then we went to Michael's and I bought an unfinished wooden box, some wood stain, paint, and sealer. That week I stained the box and painted the lid with her favorite yellow roses.

The box sits now on what the family jokingly calls The Shrine here at my aunt's house along with the urns containing her parents' mixed ashes and my aunt's late husband's urn. Since her death, all I have wanted was to be placed in with my mother. She has a little brass plaque with her name and dates on it. I don't need a plaque, but if my sister decides to have one for me, fine.

Hahaha. I'm planning for everyone to outlive me.