Are average children

[Magpie]

I never had DD tested for IQ. I actually turned down the opportunity to put her in gifted classes because I didn't want her to struggle. She never had a problem in school and did take some AP classes, but nothing different than many kids.

If I had to identify what sets DD apart from some kids it is that she is very, very motivated. She has dreams that she wants to achieve and nothing will stop her from trying to reach her goals. She works her tail off to get where she wants to go.

To me, she is incredibly special. It doesn't really matter to me what anyone else thinks.

Motivation is a REAL gift!

 

[LisaR]

I think gifted is the most overused word of the decade. I also think there are very few truly gifted children out there.

This kid is the definition of gifted in my book:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelo...r-old-astrophysics-prodigy-the-skys-the-limit

 

[LuvLDM]

Of course you dont



Yet you just did it. WoW.



Funny, kinda how I feel about these posts. She simply asked advice. She wasnt obnoxious, she doesnt have it in the sig line, and OH LOOK! there is a satire thread now.

You really don't get it.

 

[Aisling]

When I was a young mother, my kids were gifted and I let everyone know. They were in gifted classes yada yada yada. Then I grew up and saw how every Tom, Dick and Harry's children were gifted, too. I saw that our "gifted" programs were full of kids who had parents that worked with them and it made them stand out from the "ungifted" kids.

The word gifted means nothing anymore, because everyone who has a bright child thinks they're gifted. I've known only one truly gifted child in my life, a boy who graduated high school at 11, graduated college at 14 and had his first PhD at 20. I lost track of him over the years, but he's a GIFTED person.

I wonder if there are any kids like that here on the Dis.

(And in case someone says "he's not gifted, he's a prodigy", that just goes to show how diluted the word gifted has become.)

 

[Feralpeg]

I think gifted is the most overused word of the decade. I also think there are very few truly gifted children out there.

This kid is the definition of gifted in my book:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelo...r-old-astrophysics-prodigy-the-skys-the-limit

Wow! I can't imagine having a child like that. Amazing. I have enough trouble keeping up with my daughter in normal conversations and it's getting worse as I get older. I'd never keep up with a child that bright. He is the true definition of gifted!

 

[Aisling]

WOW about that boy in the link! I got excited thinking I'll click on the link and see the kid I was just posting about! But my acquaintance goes back at least 10 years.

I think I'd be scared to have a child like that, seriously! Amazing!

I read an interesting article years ago that tried to prove that those extremely high IQ kids actually had a birth defect that just so happened to be a benefit than a disability!

 

[MouseEarsJenny]

Two more average DIS children here. We joke that B's mean beatings but we've seen our share on report cards. My son can't spell to save his life. My daughter hyperventilates while taking Physics tests.

On the other hand, I would describe them both as gifted musicians without intending any label other than to point out their particular talent and interest. Nothing wrong with being a proud parent.

 

[NotUrsula]

...
I always thought (from knowing "gifted" kids as a child) that along with the smarts, the gifted child also had some sort of issue as well...usually social?

That perception tends to be common because of the number of kids with mild Aspergers who end up in formal gifted programs in grade school. They tend to be placed there because they do often do very well on IQ tests, but also because they are difficult to manage in a regular classroom. They are the kids that other kids will remember because of how "different" they are.

RE: the larger topic, the seeming proliferation of exceptional kids among the offspring of folks who post to child-centered boards -- I would posit that it is because parents of "exceptional" kids (from the really bright ones to the ones who have disabilities) are the parents most likely to visit child-centered discussion boards. In our never-ending quest for more information about our kids' issues (anything from allergy strategies to sports juggling to college choices) we tend to be the parents most likely to seek third-party validation that we are not screwing them up. The tendency to brag on them is really about the parent's need for validation that their choices for their kids have been good ones.

 

[dngnb8]

You really don't get it.

Neither do you.

 

[Aisling]

If I had to identify what sets DD apart from some kids it is that she is very, very motivated. She has dreams that she wants to achieve and nothing will stop her from trying to reach her goals. She works her tail off to get where she wants to go.

That's wonderful!!! I'm sure you know that not every young person is like that!

 

[Luv'sTink]

Its not my daughter specifically. But this thread is very common when this topic comes up. Kids are made to feel guilty about their abilities. Not just by other kids, but parents. Parents who attempt to portray "average" as victims. Look at the previous response and how it was composed. You all dont realize that this happens often, and based on these responses, your children pass it on.

Then you wonder why gifted kids are withdrawn. They are withdrawn because theyre treated like they are diseased simply because they are gifted.

Sorry if I am being sensitive, but my daughter has dealt with this behavior for most of her life.

As parents, we communicate this behavior to our kids, who then pass it on. Im just pointing out to you that responses like the one I analyzed earlier are very common. And frankly, not unexpected, although a thread here is a bit much.

Pot meet kettle.

Oh yes, someone always thinks they are the "victim" that's for sure.

 

[Butterball]

Wow that kid featured in the link is amazing!
Concerning the "gifted" discussion..my calculus prof is literally a human calculator but he can't spell for beans. Everyone is different!

 

[KimR]

I think the term 'gifted' has to be one of the most emotionally-charged words on the DIS. I don't get it. don't get all the fuss over 'labeling' kids or the claim that 'gifted' is an overused word. Here is what I found doing a quick google with regards to giftedness and IQ:

•Mildly Gifted -- 115 to 129
•Moderately Gifted -- 130 to 144
•Highly Gifted -- 145 to 159
•Exceptionally Gifted -- 160 to 179
•Profoundly Gifted -- 180

I don't know where people get the idea that gifted is synonymous with genius because it is not, nor was it ever intended to be. In the context of the educational system it basically means academically talented - that is all. The schools use the term in order to identify those children who may benefit from a more accelerated curriculum (about 10% of the students in our district get placed in the gifted program). So no, not all kids are gifted. I'm sure it sometimes seems that way though, just due to the sheer volume of people who post on the DIS.

I was classified as a 'gifted' child, although I'm guessing I was on the lower end of spectrum. I'm not saying this to brag, because I was one of those 'smart but no social skills' kids. Yes, I was/am one of those people some of you might make fun of. My Mother actually refused to enroll me in the gifted program because she thought it would be a further hindrance to me socially. I'm not sure I agree, but I can tell you that I would gladly shave 10 points off my IQ and suffer the label of 'normal' to be more socially adept. (I'd trade more, but I'm only Mildly Gifted so I probably don't have much to spare. ). I was absolutely miserable in middle and high school.

 

[moon]

What does "gifted" mean in real life, anyway?

Years ago I knew a girl when she was about 11. Everyone kept talking about how when she was in first grade she had scored really high on her IQ test and was sooo "gifted". In all the time I knew her I never saw a sign that she was even smart. I never saw her touch a book, engage in any creative activity or skill....all she did was look in the mirror trying clothes and make up, run after boys and talk on the phone.

Last I heard of her she was a high school drop out, had two children by two diffrent men (married neither one) and didn't have a job.

Since meeting her I don't think those test scores are worth the paper they are printed on

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Well, yeah. Most kids have one or two things they excel at; it only makes sense that people on a message board would prefer to dwell on Jr making State Honor Band than Jr flunking physical science or that Little Miss is taking college level classes in middle school and not the fact that she's only still in dance class because the instructor feels sorry for her two left feet.

It's human nature, I do it too.

I'd like to think my niece and nephew are both Wile E. Coyote supergeniuses, but they're just good kids who have things that they excel at, things they're okay in, and things that they will never be any good at.

 

[njmom47]

Ok, I was a gifted child academically. Didn't finish college.
None of my kids are (although possibly oldest dd who quit school because she was bored...she was never tested though so who knows?). My other 2 are average. And middle dd is a senior and hasn't taken the SATS or applied to any colleges. But they're mine and I will love them regardless if they're average or above or below.

 

[Carnie]

My parents have friends with a child who is "gifted". We constantly heard about Child Genius.

This child, now in college, just got out of prison. Decided buying drugs in a predominantly Islamic country was a "smart idea".

This kid's parents had to spend their entire retirement savings, mortgage thir home and liquidate all their assets to get the kid out of jail. A jail not unlike the jail in Brokedown Palace.

Took a year to do it. Child has what is most likely permanent mental damage from the conditions in this jail.

Why do I tell this story? Because this kid heard over and over how special and "gifted" they were. Had a very inflated sense of self-worth.

Took that to mean above the law, I guess.

 

[quentina]

a thing of the past? It seems most DIS kids are gifted. My kids are average and awesome despite their averageness

I have one on each level....one in honors class, one on track with peers and one with developmental delays. That is the honest answer...I believe that they are all destined for greatness due to their genius level and beauty!!

 

[C.Ann]

Just my opinion, but I believe that there are more gifted children now than - let's say - when my kids were in school (I'm 61)..

One reason that comes to mind (and of course there are others as well) is that there are more "only" children - who in some cases spend more time with adults than with other children.. My DGD is an only child - and yes, she's very gifted - but, prior to attending school she was cared for (from birth) by both sets of grandparents (we would alternate days) and she had our undivided attention.. Any question she ever asked (being as inquisitive as she was) was answered in length - with many details - and therefore everything became a learning experience for her.. By the time she reached the age of 5, she was leaps and bounds ahead of most of her peers.. Her dad (also an only child) is gifted as well.. Her mom (my DD) was just an "average" child - as were most of the other children in our blended family (I had 3 from a prior marriage, my late DH had 5)..

Of course there are also gifted children in families with multiple children.. Maybe it's those prenatal vitamins (that we weren't prescribed "back in the day") - LOL - maybe it's better/different nutrition - more exposure to educational opportunities (which begin practically at birth).. I really don't know "why" it seems to be that way, but I believe that in many, many cases it's absolutely true and it's never occured to me to question whether people are being truthful or not when they talk about their children being gifted; on the high honor rolls; winning awards; etc..

There's nothing wrong with being average; nothing wrong with being gifted; nothing wrong with struggling.. These children are what they are - and as long as they get what they need to meet their goals in life, I don't see what the issue is..

 

[singleinthe city]

ust my opinion, but I believe that there are more gifted children now than - let's say - when my kids were in school (I'm 61)..

One reason that comes to mind (and of course there are others as well) is that there are more "only" children - who in some cases spend more time with adults than with other children.. My DGD is an only child - and yes, she's very gifted - but, prior to attending school she was cared for (from birth) by both sets of grandparents (we would alternate days) and she had our undivided attention.. Any question she ever asked (being as inquisitive as she was) was answered in length - with many details - and therefore everything became a learning experience for her.. By the time she reached the age of 5, she was leaps and bounds ahead of most of her peers.. Her dad (also an only child) is gifted as well.. Her mom (my DD) was just an "average" child - as were most of the other children in our blended family (I had 3 from a prior marriage, my late DH had 5)..

What you describe is advanced and advantaged but does not describe gifted.