Anyone's MIL do this? Year after year?

[ckoncurat]

I would be THRILLED if my mother gave my children (or me, or anyone) something they wanted for christmas. She picks up generic items at yard sales or the dollar store and hands this junk out as gifts. Think partly used coloring books, old happy meal toys, etc.My MIL gives nice clothes or money, which is fine.

 

[Crystal0608]

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. It ain't happening this year. My kids, especially my dd, rewrites her list a lot. Santa gets her the most popular items on her list, then I would tell my mama, dh's mama, dh's dad, and dh's grandma different items. They want the list by Black Friday. I start shopping in January, so some items on the list I always have. I would email dh's mama about 10-15 items to chose from in the $10-30 range and she would complain she didn't get to buy the best stuff and that my mama got to. So last year, my mama bought the Wii and I bought about 10 games both from "Santa" and I had guitar hero world tour on MIL's list and then she told my kids she had to cut back next year and they wouldn't be getting as much. Hello?, don't ask for it if you don't want it, lol.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Op you did not mention the favoritism issue in your first post. That would be a hill I would die on. I would be the biggest witch about it too.

I would ask her to see the receipt of DS's gift and if she did not bring anything for dd I would tell her to give dd the cash equivalent.

It is mean, yea. Disney Doll's suggestion is better.

 

[EthansMom]

DGD's other grandmother has been doing this since day one - Christmas; Easter; back-to-school shopping; birthdays; etc.. The woman lives to shop and loves to spend money on her DGD.. She has it, so why not? That's her way of showing how much she loves her DGD and although not everyone has the need to show love in that manner, that's just who she is..

Whatever the occasion, my DD will tell my DGD to make two lists - only one of which ever reaches the other Grandma's hands.. DD then reviews the list before it's handed off to Grandma.. DGD has also been instructed to only tell her other Grandma the items she wants that are on the "Grandma D" list..

I don't know how old your children are, but perhaps this sort of arrangement would work for you as well.. Finding a "middle ground" would be best for all concerned - you're happy, Grandma is happy, and your kids are happy.. Look for a resolution - not a dog fight..

This is also what I would do.

I would explain to the kids that Grandma wants to buy everything they mention which doesn't leave anything for Santa and/or me to buy for them. I would tell them that they should sit down and make a list of things they want and then decide only a few things off that list to tell Grandma. My kids are 8 and 5 and even they could get that concept.

I would also explain to the kids that it isn't fair that Grandma brings something for one child and not another. I would tell them that they aren't allowed to accept gifts from Grandma unless there is something for their sibling too. In the case of items brought over for one child and not another, I would say, "I'm sorry, MIL, but it isn't fair when you bring over something for one child and not the other. Why don't you hold on to this item until you have something for each of them," and make her take the gift home with her.

IMO, if you set firm boundaries, people will behave themselves better. Allowing MIL to behave badly isn't fair to anyone else in your family.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would also explain to the kids that it isn't fair that Grandma brings something for one child and not another. I would tell them that they aren't allowed to accept gifts from Grandma unless there is something for their sibling too. In the case of items brought over for one child and not another, I would say, "I'm sorry, MIL, but it isn't fair when you bring over something for one child and not the other. Why don't you hold on to this item until you have something for each of them," and make her take the gift home with her.

IMO, if you set firm boundaries, people will behave themselves better. Allowing MIL to behave badly isn't fair to anyone else in your family.

That is a good one better than mine.

 

[Chrisbeary]

My mother tried to do this a couple years ago. I would mention what the kids wanted for Christmas or Birthday and she would try to buy it. Luckily, she is usually out shopping with me. I put a stop to it fast. I don't tell her the items we want to get from Santa or from us. Of course she didn't sneak around and ask the kids when I couldn't hear. My MIL & 2 SIL's favor my DS9 over DD5 and I have been dealing with that battle for the past five years. They currently are mad at us because they tried to invite themselves on our first WDW vacation in November and my DH kindly informed them that we want to do this trip on our own.