Anyone send kindergartener on time instead of holding back?

[CharmedLife]

I have an August birthday and did great from Kindergarten all the way through graduate school. My DD is 7 in July, and started kindergarten "on-time" when she was 5, and she got all A's on her last report card for first grade.

The "social" problems of being a younger-person in the class? I never had any - we're not talking about 3 years difference or anything. Yes, my friends all got their driver's license before me, but that wasn't a big deal, they just all had to drive me around for a while! And I always figured they'd die before me... (jk)

I think there can be just as many social issues with being significantly older than everyone else in your class, too. Those kids sometimes get teased just as much - other kids think they got "held back" because they weren't smart enough, etc. Kids can be mean, and will always be able to find something to pick on. Being younger than everyone else is relatively mild in the grand scheme of things.

I will say in DD's 1st grade class, some of the kids having the hardest times academically also happen to be some of the older kids in the class. I really don't think the age difference has anything to do with whether a certain kid does better or worse, it's that each child is different. Therefore, you need to assess whether your "borderline birthday" child is ready for kindergarten or not, instead of focusing on the age thing.

In fact, I would argue that parents with kids that have summer birthdays actually have an advantage, because they can decide whether or not their child IS academically ready for kindergarten. Kids with a January birthday are not likely to get "late-started" because the age difference in the class would be too great, and for states with a September 1 cutoff date (as most have), you don't have much choice for a kid with an October birthday BUT to start them the following year. Kids who are in the June - August time period can be assessed for preparedness, and then started, or held back, accordingly.

My niece (a July birthday - now almost 16) was held back because her mom wasn't ready to "let go" yet. The child was more than ready for school, even her preschool teachers said so, but mom was having the problem. She hated being so much older than her friends, and really hated being in a different class in Sunday School (based on grade instead of age). I think it's wrong to keep a child home when they meet the cutoff if they're academically ready for it.

I also have a HUGE problem with people "redshirting" their kids - holding them back for a year so that the child has some size advantage for sports later on. First of all, as someone mentioned, by 3rd grade they're all about the same size, anyway. Some kids will end up bigger, some will be smaller. That's just anatomy. But to hold a child back who is ready for school, just because of sports, I just think that's wrong. It's hurting everyone else by making the age-spread greater in classrooms, and it must make it more difficult for the teachers to adjust their teaching styles to kids who are, say, ages 6 - 8 instead of 6 - 7.

 

[esab4]

I have a November birthday and was sent to Kindergarten as a four year-old back when the cut-off was in December. I had no problems emotionally, socially or academically.

My four children all have summer birthdays. The oldest three are now going into grades 2, 5 and 6. All have experienced no problems. My fifth grader has an August birthday and is the smallest boy in his class but he doesn't mind. Someone has to be the youngest and the smallest. My sixth grader made high honor roll all four quarters this past year despite being one of the youngest in his class. My youngest child is turning four soon and she will begin Kindergarten on time the school year after next.

There was one boy who started Kindergarten with my older son and was held back and is now in class with my younger son. He has a summer birthday. At our school it was no big deal. He wasn't ready, so he didn't go to first grade. Four years later none of the kids even remember that he was in Kindergarten twice.

It's a decision that only you can make, and I would say that your gut instinct is correct. If you think your child should wait, then wait, and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. If you think your child is ready, then don't wait.

 

[bumbershoot]

Won't speak as a parent, but as a former child AND the oldest of 5.

I have a mid-October birthday, and while I didn't go to Kindergarten (was in Montessori school until I started 1st grade), I always felt very *socially* behind. I was ahead of the curve in other ways (taught self to read at 2) so I didn't appear to have a problem, but it's quite possible I would be a much stronger, confident person if I had been an older one in my class rather than the second youngest.

My full brother is a January b'day so he was always a little bit ahead of his class, and he did great.

All three of my half-sibs have September b'days, within one week (when the third was born my dad said that he and his wife HAD TO figure out something else to do to celebrate New Year's Eve, ew).

The first half-brother had a personality MUCH like mine (we look alike, too). He was in preschool, and his teachers strongly urged my dad and stepmom to hold him back, and they did. Although he didn't much like that, he quickly made new friends, and forgot about the other friends that he wasnt' really able to socialize much with anyway. He thrived, and though his shyness persisted (as did mine), he didn't have the stigma of being one of the youngest like I did (though I was 3 weeks "younger" compared to what he would have been).

The other two have similar personalities to my full brother; very confident, smart, athletic. Being a little younger didn't much change their experience in school. Their personalities were obviously different even at early ages.


I'm sure if my mom had the ability to do so, she would have held me back (Montessori costs money and she was scrimping as much as she could to send us, but "free" school and a longer day helped her out being our sole-provider), and I might have been more confident in school and had a better social aspect all the way through.

It really helped out my half-brother to be held back; that year allowed him to get the social graces appropriate for that age, and it helped him in every way.

But his full sibs didn't need to be held, even though they were all about the same relative age in school. (the one thing that it did cause issues with is that his 2 year younger brother was only 1 school-year younger....BUT I was 3 years above my 2 years younger brother, and THAT was weird, too!)

 

[HA_Mom]

After discussing it with my DD(4) pre-K teacher, I've decided to send her this year even though she won't be five until the end of October. I think she'll be fine. I just have to work on her handwriting. The pre-K taught the children to print in all capitals and the school wants them to know how to print their names with only initial caps. But otherwise, she seems ready.

My local school district has a policy that if a child turns six during the school year, they must be enrolled at the start of classes in September.

Do other districts have this policy as well?

 

[scouthawkk]

My problem is not deciding wether or not to send on time. DS's birthday is 11days after the new state cut off (September 1). His Pre-K teachers all said he is more than ready, and is actually more ready than the older kids in his class that are old enough to go. His doctor told me last year to make sure we do whatever we can to get him into kindergarten this year (he thought he was ready last year, until he realized he had only just turned 4). He has always been the youngest in all of his classes for daycare and preschool, mainly because he learned and developed so quickly. The schools saw no reason to keep him with the kids his age because he was just too bored.

He can read simple books (yes, it is reading-sounding it out-and comprehending and not just memorizing and spewing back). He can do simple adding and subtracting with no problems, he can spell simple words by sounding them out (by simple I mean just about anything that doesn't have a silent letter or any of the more advanced letter combos). He knows two emergency phone numbers (three if you add in 9-1-1), just in case, and knows his full address. He knows his shapes and colors, can write, draw, color, knows his letters (caps and lowers) on sight and what sounds they make. He can count well into the hundreds, and recognize numbers the same. So I have to agree, he is ready...plus, he wants to move on. He is bored with preschool/pre-k.

So, tomorrow morning at 8am he is being assessed to see if the county feels he is ready. What bothers me is that those who are 5 by the cut off don't "have" to know nearly as much as that, they are automatically in, yet we have to "test" to get him in. We have no problem with sending him early and him being the youngest in the class, that is nothing new. He actually gets along better with older kids because that is what he is used to. True, he won't be able to drive when his friends can. But let's face it, not every 16year old is ready to (or should be) be driving. I was younger than my friends, not only in my class, but I also made friends in older grades, not much of a big deal. I was a 17 year old college freshman. Again, not a big deal. My little sister actually finished enough college credits while she was still in high school that she was a 17 year old sophmore in college. Everyone develops at their own pace. Some are ready for on-time, some are not. For ours, we feel it would be a bigger mistake to not try to get him in, than it would be to just let him ride out another year of pre-k. It's not his fault the state changed their start date!

As an aside, in Maryland, you are required by law to enroll your child if they are 5 by September 1. And just like having to get special permission to start early, you have to have special permission to NOT start them on time. It, again, is up to the county to say yes or no.

 

[brymolmom]

I have a dd who will be 4 Oct 21st - Dec 1st is our cutoff and I am in the RARE minority to send her ON TIME. As a parent - I just don't see a benefit to holding a child back unless there is some medical or other delay and she definitely doesn't have that.

Personally - I don't think parents should have a choice - the way we're going - we're going to have 8 year olds in Kindergarten soon since with so many people holding their kids back to make them the oldest in the class...where does it end? Then the kids that are now the youngest - their parents will have to hold them back so THEY'RE now the oldest...and so on.

And I have no problem with parents making the decision to hold a child back AS LONG AS they realize the curriculum will be geared toward much younger children. You can't have your cake and eat it too - if you hold them back EXPECT and BE HAPPY WITH having your child taught to at about a year less than he/she is likely ready for (with an extra year of preschool or learning in general - he/she is bound to be ready for a lot more). So don't go telling the the teacher 'Don't you have any way to keep my child more challenged?' - it was YOUR CHOICE to get them where they are - Yes - they could have been more challenged - by sending them ON TIME in the first place.

 

[Mickey Fliers]

Since when are May babies considered the youngest?

That being said...My oldest DS has a Nov. 18th bday. He went to school "on time" (cut off was Dec. 1st). Then, we moved to a new state where the cutoff is Oct. 15th, so DS was the youngest kid in the grade. You NEVER would have known it!!!! His best friend turned 10 before 4th grade started, and my DS didn't turn 9 until Nov. Let me tell you, the biggest dispruptions in that class where due to some of the "older" students.

My friend has a son with a Oct. bday (so, 6 weeks older than my DS). She held him back and that kid was totally bored this year. Literally, he gets stuck helping some of the other students b/c what they are doing in the 3rd grade is beyond him. My friend gets upset by this, but....she held him back when he was emotionally and academically ready. Do you want to know why she held him???


SPORTS!



So, for me, I have one son with a Nov. bday who is young for his grade - No issues.

I have a son with a July bday who started "on time" - No issues.

Now, I have a son with a Sept. bday and I am not sure about that one yet.

Different kids!

 

[budbeerlady]

DD was born October 1st, the cut off date was Oct 31. We did send her, she had done excellant in preschool, knew everything going in and then some.

But she had a very nice K teacher who wasnt a disciplinarian. DD like other kids saw the oppertunity and ran with it! I had no idea untill I went to confrences what was going on. When the teacher said she was progressing on counting 1-10 I almost fell outa my chair. DD was counting beyond 50 before school started. DD said she didnt know the answer all the time, so she could go to the resource room and play with number games and what not! I wasnt happy that we werent notified.

We had a little talk with DD and she did just fine in school from that point on. Being a chatty little thing we have had a couple of issues with talking when appropriate now in 1st grade. (But I think since K was a free for all the kids didnt have any concern for when to talk.) The odd thing comes in when a few kids are alot older than her in class.

 

[Zakk and Marcs Mom]

I find this whole discussion a little odd, no disrespect intended, just not something that we generally encounter here. In fact, I don't think you are allowed to hold them back here.

I am in Ontario, Canada and in our school district our kids start Junior Kindergarten at the age of 4 (our cut off date is Dec 31) so some of the kids are only 3 when they start. This year is optional and parents that choose to not send their children would then start them in Senior Kindergarten the next year (at 4 or 5). Although the majority do send them to school for this year. The teachers here are accustomed to having a range of age and maturity levels in the class as the JK and SK are often mixed in the same class. We use it as a learning opportunity for all involved. The older kids help out the younger ones and it is amazing how even though they all start at different levels going in, they always end up evening out by grade 2 or so. Think about it this way, they are all now being exposed to the same experiences and activities at school, the teachers are there to work with ALL of the children at whatever level they are at and by grade 2 the "younger" ones are generally at the same learning level as the older ones. I truly do not believe that a few months difference in age in kindergarten will doom them to a life of struggling in school.

I actually had the opposite concern with my son he is a Feb baby so is one of the oldest in the class and is a very mature child to start with (we called him the 40 year old trapped in a 4 year olds body). I was so concerned that he was going to be bored. Luckily he was in a split class and was offered the same work as the SK children. Hopefully in SK next year his new teacher will continue to challenge him so that he is not bored.

 

[dijid]

Just remember, somebody always has to be the youngest.

I am a summer birthday and the only problem I ever had was when I started working full time (after earning an engineering degree) and was only 21. Everyone was shocked that I Was so young.

All 3 of my kids have summer birthdays. There was never a question of whether I would send my DD (8/30 bday). Even her K teacher said she was one of her more mature students. My son (7/21) had problems in preschool, but like a previous poster, holding him back a year would not have made those problems go away. In a sorta-ironic thing, they had too many kids in his grade level at Vacation Bible School this year, so the director moved 3 boys his age up a grade level. That means he has kids 2 years older than him in his class. Here's the irony part - his behavior improved. Maybe it's because he's slightly intimidated. Maybe it's because he's got better role models. Who would have thought that the complete opposite of redshirting would help things?

 

[bear_mom]

My oldest dds birthday is Aug. 21st and she stated kindy 3 days after she turned 5. She has had no trouble what so ever with being one of the youngest and the smallest person in her class. Her teachers have all commented on how she seems older than she really is and they would (if it weren't for her size) think she was a grade or two above where she is. As far as her size, I'm not sure holding her back another year would matter, she is smaller than most of the first graders (she just finished second).

I too, have a late birthday (9/5) and started when I was 4 and never felt at a disadvantage academically or socially.

Emily

 

[susykt4]

I was also born on October 29 and started kindergarten at age 4. (Of course that was 30 years ago.)

My daughter is one of the youngest in her class and did completely fine in kindergarten. She went to all day kindergarten at a public school and if she had any issue, it would have been that she was bored for the first part of school while they learned things she already knew.

My son on the other hand... He'll be five in November so misses the K cutoff in our area. If he had a summer birthday I might be tempted to hold him for another year. He has some minor speech issues and just isn't quite as advanced in reading, etc. as his sister was. I think the extra year (forced by the cutoff date) will do him good.

 

[Becky2005]

Since when are May babies considered the youngest?

It all varies on when the cut-off is as you can see, different states have different ones but the May babies come into play as the youngest when all the June, July, August babies have been held back for our Sept. 1 cut-off.

So, your May baby turns 5 in May with the Sept. 1 cut-off but then the June-August babies are held back. As you are sending your 5 year old May baby in on time, the summer babies that were held back are now a year older than your child (turning 6 before school starts), where as yours just turned 5 a few months earlier. Hence, now you have the May babies being the youngest with being basically a year younger and so the cycle goes.

 

[debster812]

DS attended a private Kindergarten that was in his Day Care Center. For him, the big transition was from K-1st grade, since he was going from one curriculum to another. He struggled for about a month, and was right in the swing of things.

His birthday is in early June, and here the cutoff is August 31st, so he is on the young side for his grade, but he's going into 5th grade this year, and he's right on track.

 

[Gillian]

It all varies on when the cut-off is as you can see, different states have different ones but the May babies come into play as the youngest when all the June, July, August babies have been held back for our Sept. 1 cut-off.

So, your May baby turns 5 in May with the Sept. 1 cut-off but then the June-August babies are held back. As you are sending your 5 year old May baby in on time, the summer babies that were held back are now a year older than your child (turning 6 before school starts), where as yours just turned 5 a few months earlier. Hence, now you have the May babies being the youngest with being basically a year younger and so the cycle goes.

We are just realizing that DD will be in this situation! She's an early June birthday (just turned 4), and we have an Oct 1 cutoff. I'm hearing that she seems young compared to others in her year, which I wasn't expecting.

We didn't keep DS with the september birthday back, and I do want to start DD on time, especially since she is tall, but we'll have to wait and see. Her kindergarten will be in a place where she can go for 2 years if she's not ready for 1st grade.

 

[Stargazer]

We sent our DD and she was the youngest in her class - she turned 5 on August 25th and our school system's cut-off is September 15.

She did very well and was actually in the top % of her class for her reading level. The only complaint the teacher even had is that DD is a little "chatty" (which we already knew - she is her father's daughter after all!).

I'm glad we made the decision to go ahead and enroll her. She did go to a pre-kindergarten program the year before and I do think that helped her prepare for kindergarten. Through that program, they had set times for them to concentrate on spelling their full name, address, phone number, parents' names, birthday, etc.

 

[Becky2005]

We are just realizing that DD will be in this situation! She's an early June birthday (just turned 4), and we have an Oct 1 cutoff. I'm hearing that she seems young compared to others in her year, which I wasn't expecting.

Just to let you know I did send my May baby (the 7 year old) to school on time and I know he's not the youngest so ALL the summer birthday kids are not held back but it does seem to factor in. This does seem to come into play more with the boys than the girls though (not always but seems that way). I know it's weird to think that with a Sept/October cut-off, you should have to worry about your late May/early June being the youngest in class but it happens. My DS is late May, so he just turned 7 with about 2 weeks of school left.

It's these situations I always wonder just how long *can* people keep pushing for holding back? Does it then start applying to the April babies if the May baby parents start thinking they don't want theirs to be the youngest and hold them back, etc... Our school system doesn't even have Kindergarten testing, basically if you are 5 by Sept. 1, you get to go to Kindergarten. They ask you some basic questions on a form and you turn that in so they can figure out what class to put them in but no evaluations done. I never really gave it a thought to hold any back at all, the only reason I was concerned about my May baby was because he was already having some issues that were being addressed via the school system so didn't know if that should factor in, they didn't seem to think so. I know they think he can do the academics (so far) and since he gets support with the other issues that are progressing, we will keep on moving along.

 

[bigbabyblues]

Hi Becky!

My DS4 is an early June baby. We're planning to start him in kindergarten next fall, assuming the school will take him. He will attend the same private school my DS6 does, and they test them, and spend several hours with them, playing with them, observing their motor skills, talking with them, etc. If the teacher and administrator feel they are ready, they will register them for kindergarten. If not, they tell you the child isn't ready, and they won't register them.

I think DS will be ready. He can count to about 15 now, knows his colors, numbers, letters, and shapes, and seems to do well socially. Maybe not as well as DS6 did his pre-k year, but he was a November baby, so he had several months start. If he isn't ready, we'll go to preschool for another year and leave it at that. His preschool will also evaluate him, but not as in depth.

Our cutoff is Sept 30.

 

[DisneyPhD]

We are not quite at the point where we need to worry or think about it yet, as our son is only turning 3 in August. However, it is already on our minds. His birthday is August 26, well within the cutoff limits, so I think we'll be sending him. He will be one of the younger kiddos in the class, but he already knows everything the PP mention, with exception of being able to write his name. he is only 2, so I'm sure that will be accomplished long before the time comes.

With only a few minor differences (I have a DD, her birthday is Aug 3d) I could of wrote this post.


Our cut off date is Dec 1st, but there is a lot of pressure to hold them back and put them in the young 5's class.
She is very small, but even if I waited a year I think it is likely she will be the smallest kid in her class. As it is she is used to playing with other kids (her big sister) so I think she will be fine at Kindergarten.

Unless her development really changes in the next 3 years, she will be starting K then.

 

[bumbershoot]

Just remember, somebody always has to be the youngest.

I am a summer birthday and the only problem I ever had was when I started working full time (after earning an engineering degree) and was only 21. Everyone was shocked that I Was so young.

All 3 of my kids have summer birthdays. There was never a question of whether I would send my DD (8/30 bday). Even her K teacher said she was one of her more mature students. My son (7/21) had problems in preschool, but like a previous poster, holding him back a year would not have made those problems go away. In a sorta-ironic thing, they had too many kids in his grade level at Vacation Bible School this year, so the director moved 3 boys his age up a grade level. That means he has kids 2 years older than him in his class. Here's the irony part - his behavior improved. Maybe it's because he's slightly intimidated. Maybe it's because he's got better role models. Who would have thought that the complete opposite of redshirting would help things?

I always get a little confused in this convos, but I'm really confused now. 21 is normal to have graduated (18, 19, 20, 21). Summer birthdays are when most of my school friends had theirs, except for me in mid-Oct and another friend on the eve of Halloween. Summer birthdays were the usual age (i.e. 18 when starting college vs my 17)... My full brother's b'day is in January, and he was always ahead of most of his friends who turned his age in the months following (got driver's license first vs my almost last...in college could legally drink in the senior year vs "second" senior half-year taken b/c one's counselor goofed you in order of 1/2 credit classes, augh, otherwise I would have been done with college at 20). But summer isn't "off" any schedule.



But I'm getting out of this thread now b/c it's all mind-boggling to me, and I don't HAVE TO figure it out b/c we'll be homeschooling, and mandatory schooling (or homeschooling) age in WA isn't until 8!