Anyone send kindergartener on time instead of holding back?

[Mickey Fliers]

It all varies on when the cut-off is as you can see, different states have different ones but the May babies come into play as the youngest when all the June, July, August babies have been held back for our Sept. 1 cut-off.

So, your May baby turns 5 in May with the Sept. 1 cut-off but then the June-August babies are held back. As you are sending your 5 year old May baby in on time, the summer babies that were held back are now a year older than your child (turning 6 before school starts), where as yours just turned 5 a few months earlier. Hence, now you have the May babies being the youngest with being basically a year younger and so the cycle goes.

I guess that is what I mean. Where does all of this nonsense end? In the quest to hold kids back just so "they aren't the youngest", I think we are doing a disservice to the kids. The cut-offs are there for a reason and pretty soon, we are going to have kids starting college at 20! (assuming they go right after high school )

I guess I just wish parents would pay attention to what THEIR child needs, instead of what all the neighborhood parents are doing. I would never consider keeping a June or July bday child back unless there were developmental delays. When we were kids, kindergarten was for 5 year olds, whether they were 5.5 or just turned 5 on the first day of school. Has the curriculum changed so much in the last 25 years?

 

[gris gris]

My DD is starting Kindergarten this year and she will be 4. Her birthday is 10/19 (she'll turn 5). She will be fine academically. Socially, I have no idea. She's been in daycare since 10 weeks old and I can't imagine her repeating pre-school for a 3rd year. If at the end of the year the teacher wants to keep her back, I have no problem with that. Some of her friends were born in January, some in October, so she already hangs with a wide age range.

 

[gris gris]

I have a dd who will be 4 Oct 21st - Dec 1st is our cutoff and I am in the RARE minority to send her ON TIME.

Am I reading this right? Your DD will be 3 when she goes into kindergarten and will turn 4 during the school year?

 

[brymolmom]

Am I reading this right? Your DD will be 3 when she goes into kindergarten and will turn 4 during the school year?

Nope - sorry I did not expand enough. She will be going when she is 4, starting in 2008.

 

[gris gris]

Nope - sorry I did not expand enough. She will be going when she is 4, starting in 2008.

Phew - that would have opened up a whole new can of worms! Your DD is just like mine then, going in at 4 and turning 5 in October. 2008 will be here before you know it!

 

[CleveRocks]

I always get a little confused in this convos, but I'm really confused now. 21 is normal to have graduated (18, 19, 20, 21).


But I'm getting out of this thread now b/c it's all mind-boggling to me, and I don't HAVE TO figure it out b/c we'll be homeschooling, and mandatory schooling (or homeschooling) age in WA isn't until 8!

Ouch. Prior to beginning to teach at home, it might be best to dust off the math book or study up on logic and reasoning. [said jokingly, not harshly]

If one graduates high school at age 18, then one cannot graduate a 4-year college program at age 21.

If Joe is 18 at high school graduation, then he is ...
... 19 at the end of college freshman year.
... 20 at the end of college sophomore year.
... 21 at the end of college junior year.
... 22 at the end of college senior year/graduation.

At least that's how I learned it at my urban public schools.

 

[brymolmom]

Phew - that would have opened up a whole new can of worms! Your DD is just like mine then, going in at 4 and turning 5 in October. 2008 will be here before you know it!

I know - it is coming quickly. From what I've heard - after 2008 they are changing our cutoff date here to Sept 1st - so she will be the last class where 4 year olds are allowed.

I have always known I would send her on time unless something came up during her development that indicated a delay and need for extra time for some reason. We are very lucky that this has not happened and she will be going on time.

SO many people I talk to know, some even when they are pregnant that they will be holding their child back. I really don't like that - they are doing it solely based on wanting that child to be the oldest...

 

[1of6]

I guess I just wish parents would pay attention to what THEIR child needs, instead of what all the neighborhood parents are doing. I would never consider keeping a June or July bday child back unless there were developmental delays. When we were kids, kindergarten was for 5 year olds, whether they were 5.5 or just turned 5 on the first day of school. Has the curriculum changed so much in the last 25 years?

The curriculum has changed. K is the old first grade complete with spelling tests. It is not the learn letters like it used to be it is now you should be reading.

That said, I have done it differently with different kids. DS10 has a mid Nov. birthday. The cut off is Dec. 1 here. He is my straight A, loves creative writing, on the school's Science Olympiad team kid. He is very mature so I hope that helps when he is 17 for almost the whole first semester of college.

DD8 also started K at 4 and turned 5 at the end of Sept. She can do the work (has to work for her A) but has always struggled socially. I wish we had held her back. She is at a different level then most of her friends.

DS5 has a mid Aug. b-day. He will start K in the fall just after his 6th birthday. He has many issues, speech being the biggest. He has had speech, OT and PT since age 2. He has come along way but was just not ready last year.

DD3 has a Jan. b-day so I hopefully will have a no-brainer in a couple of years.

 

[moparop]

Here's an interesting research article I recently read on the subject. It essentially says that holding your child back a year is bad for them in the long run.

Go to: http://www.journal.naeyc.org/btj/200309/

And click on the article called: An Updated Look at Delaying Kindergarten Entry/Hermine H. Marshall

 

[auntie]

I've had three kids..and one of them I "gave the gift of time" to. I prefer that term as opposed to "holding back". He is a great athlete..a good student..a very social kid..and well liked by his teachers. He also got his learners permit today..so time flies! He is one of the first of his friends to have the privildge..and he's pretty darn happy about it..and they are a bit envious. It was the BEST thing I ever did for him. He is a leader..and has always taken some of the younger or more shy students under his wing. He is pretty popular..and he isn't a snob about it. If he see's a kid who is sort of..well..not so popular..he makes him a friend, and because he is well liked, his friends do the same. He is one good kid. I attribute much of his confidence to the fact that he was given that extra bit of time to mature. He was in an accident when he was three..and spent three months in a body cast..and the rest of the year after that learning to walk again. I just felt there was no way this boy was meant to sit in school all day when he was eager to run and play after being imoble for so long. He was in pre-school three days a week and we went with that again. Kindergarden was full day..and I felt he wasn't ready for that. His pre-K teacher told me that she never saw a child that was hurt by this choice..only benefited.

My daughter was an April birthday..and she went at 5 and 1/2...no problems. I do think girls are more mature to begin with.(born little old ladies!) Mostly I've seen this be more of an issue with the little boys. My older son was a late Sept. birthday..and I wanted to wait with him..but his being my first..frankly I listened to everyone else..and not my gut. I would get..are you crazy..he knows his numbers and letters and he was extremely verbal since he was an only child when starting kindergarden. He did fine..but he also had a couple of years there where you are not going to be able to make them older. He didn't have some of the patience required that he did aquire some six months later..and by then his classmates where also older. In the long run..it all balances out. By the time 4th grade rolls around they are all about the same. It is a nice feeling to have a child that "wants" to do the work..as opposed to having to make them do their work. Very often this is not about ability..but maturity. As a previous poster mentioned...someone is going to be the youngest at some point. I think very often there are also signs along the way..it isn't something you think about the day before registration. It's also easy to say when a child is 3 they are definetly starting when they are supposed to...when it's two years before they will have to. Alot can change..or not. I don't think it's something that's written in stone either way.
I think this decision is a judgement call by the parent who knows their child best. It's a date on the calendar...like any other date. Some will fall on one side of it..some on the other. The child on the 30th of the month starts , while the one born the following day on the first day of the month waits another year. That child born on the 1st has an entire extra year to mature and yet the children are only a day apart. Make no mistake..this does come into play in the classroom. It's a choice that a parent should make perhaps in conjuction with their preschool teacher(if there is one) and their gut feeling in regards to their own child. It's just a personal choice.

 

[macmahony]

We held my oldest last year, and will hold her 3 younger siblings (all with very late birthdays) I know most of the people we know in the same situation also choose to hold there kids, we only know of one that sent there child to kindy this year. I, and most others will agree, did not hold my child so she would not be the youngest, I held her because I feel an extra year at home will not hurt her. (you can find a million different research things to push you either way) She is the oldest of what in a few weeks will be 4 kids at our house, and in my opinion is immature. She probably would of been fine in kindy last year, but maybe not, and why push. My kids have the rest of there lives to be in school, and to grow up. I know for a fact the cutoff will be changing here in a few years, so apparantly I am not the only one who feels her late september birthday could become and issue.
She will start kindy in the fall, she is much more mature, much more socially ready to go, and much more sure of herself. We struggled with this decesion for a long time, and believe me none of our reasoning for holding her a year (or her later siblings), has anything to do with her being the oldest, or the biggest, or the smartest. It had to do with what was right for her (and in the next few years what is right for her siblings).

 

[SunKat]

My daughter has a July birthday, and the only difference I can see is a different maturity level between her and her friends sometimes. Then I remind myself they are almost a year older. Academically, she has always been a straight A student. I don't regret sending her on time. It never crossed my mind to not send her on time.

I agree with you. My daughter has a late August birthday. She started kindy a week later, having just turned 5. It never crossed my mind to hold her back. She just graduated from 5th grade, with straight A+'s. She was vice-president of the student council and she's won many awards for academics, leadership, and music. Starting her on time worked out just fine and I know it was the right choice for us.

 

[Mickey Fliers]

We held my oldest last year, and will hold her 3 younger siblings (all with very late birthdays) I know most of the people we know in the same situation also choose to hold there kids, we only know of one that sent there child to kindy this year. I, and most others will agree, did not hold my child so she would not be the youngest, I held her because I feel an extra year at home will not hurt her. (you can find a million different research things to push you either way) She is the oldest of what in a few weeks will be 4 kids at our house, and in my opinion is immature. She probably would of been fine in kindy last year, but maybe not, and why push. My kids have the rest of there lives to be in school, and to grow up. I know for a fact the cutoff will be changing here in a few years, so apparantly I am not the only one who feels her late september birthday could become and issue.
She will start kindy in the fall, she is much more mature, much more socially ready to go, and much more sure of herself. We struggled with this decesion for a long time, and believe me none of our reasoning for holding her a year (or her later siblings), has anything to do with her being the oldest, or the biggest, or the smartest. It had to do with what was right for her (and in the next few years what is right for her siblings).

But, I guess that is my question. Not to be argumentative, but you have already made a decision to hold ALL four of your kids, soley on where there bday lies. What if child number 2 (don't know the bday) is absolutely ready to go to K on Sept. 1st? I guess, why are we making these blanket decisions instead of looking at each child individually and doing what is best for THAT child. KWIM? Believe me, I am not trying to start a fight, I just don't necessarily think that holding kids back based on their bday alone is a very good idea.

 

[Mickey Fliers]

The curriculum has changed. K is the old first grade complete with spelling tests. It is not the learn letters like it used to be it is now you should be reading.

That said, I have done it differently with different kids. DS10 has a mid Nov. birthday. The cut off is Dec. 1 here. He is my straight A, loves creative writing, on the school's Science Olympiad team kid. He is very mature so I hope that helps when he is 17 for almost the whole first semester of college.

DD8 also started K at 4 and turned 5 at the end of Sept. She can do the work (has to work for her A) but has always struggled socially. I wish we had held her back. She is at a different level then most of her friends.

DS5 has a mid Aug. b-day. He will start K in the fall just after his 6th birthday. He has many issues, speech being the biggest. He has had speech, OT and PT since age 2. He has come along way but was just not ready last year.

DD3 has a Jan. b-day so I hopefully will have a no-brainer in a couple of years.

Well, I have sent 2 kids to school "on-time" and neither of them were reading before starting Kindergarten. Looking at both of their K report cards, it is indeed evaluting if they know their letters, numbers and the so on. My second son is extremely bright and a very quick learner ( we call him Rain Man ) He has a July bday and I never would have held him back b/c of that.

 

[AlyLynn]

Hi! DH and I are both teachers, and the norm in our home district is to hold kids back, particularly if they are boys. Needless to say, we have gone against
the norm, and not made many friends, but it was the needs of the child, not ours that were important. You as the parent know best. Our son was 4 at kindergarten registration, so we were expecting a fight, but they couldn't believe his age because of some of his abilities, and we were told "well, some kids go against the norm". The teacher herself has a son his age, and is holding him back. We have no regrets with any of our children, although there are times it is difficult trying to "let them enjoy being a kid" as long as possible when their classmates are 1-2 years older. Middle school has been particularly challenging. But hey, that's our job! We are more upset that our district doesn't offer All Day Kindergarten, and before I open a can of worms, ours is not a daycare issue, it's what we believe would be best for our son.

 

[DisneyPhD]

My biggests pet peve about this subject is how the date just keeps getting pusshed back. I can really understand holding back a child with a fall brithday. Late Sept, Oct, Nov. The trend has started towards holdng back summer birthdays, even in MI when the cut off is Dec 1st.

There is no shame in saying "He/she wasn't ready. We decided to give it some more time." The whole "I want them to be the top of the class isntead of the back" thing really does bug me and I think is unfair to other kids.

I never dreamed when I had a Aug baby it would even be an issue at all.

 

[macmahony]

I would quote the person who asked why we would hold our 4 back, but don't know how.
Yes, at this point only two we have truely had to make the decesion for. But, my oldest 3 are back to back to back, and by holding the oldest, that pretty much meant unless we had two start the same year that we would be holding those 3 back. The 4 is not born yet, but will be soon, and by the time it is his turn, I know for a fact the date will have been changed in our state, so that he will legally be where he is supposed to.
I know how my kids have been at 4, and I have looked at the curriculum, talked to parents and teachers, at 4 my kids would not of done great in kindy. My kids are immature, smart, but immature, and I have no desiere to push them to grow up. I think people push there kids way to fast anymore, and I refuse to do that to my kids. They are only kids so long, and one more year of being a little kid at home, will not hurt my children in the long run.
Sorry for not using the quote, so this might be confusing, but I just don't know how to use that option!
Our cutoff is Oct 1, all my kids have very late august, very late september birthdays. The cutoff will be changing in the next few years too, so when that changes my kids would not of made the cutoff anyway. So clearly I am not the only person who thinks holding them will be best for them.
I have no problem with people who put there kids in young, but for our family it was not the right decesion, and we made it while our kids were fairly young, and planned there preschool years based on that as well.

 

[bellarella]

Holding kids back is a huge pet peeve of mine. If I ruled the world (LOL) children who are born within in a month of the state cut off date would could be placed in school at their parent's discretion. If their birthday were outside that one month window, they would need to go through an evaluation process similar to an IEP to demonstrate substantial need. IE, if the cut off was Sept 30, then children born from August 30-October 30 could start that school year or not, depending on where their parents felt was most appropriate. Outside of that time line there would need to be significant testing done to determine need for either a late or early start.

I am sick to death of parents who think that the purpose of school is for their children to show off how much they know rather than actually learn something. Parents are wanting their kids to have mastered the kindergarten curriculum before they even start. Then they get to kindergarten and complain that is not challenging enough for their child. School boards bow to the pressure and make kindergarten even more academic and make the cut offs even earlier. It's getting totally out of hand. I'm seeing more and more kindergarten classes with 7 year olds in them!

My kids all have "late" birthdays. I have no plans of holding any of them back. My first DD went on time and has done just fine. I don't want my kids to be freshman at 16 or in college at 19. Studies are coming out showing that kids who were held back tend to think less of their own achievements. In college, none of my friends with late birthdays regretted not being held back. My friend who were older had the most frustration.

Things tend to even out by 3rd grade regardless. I'm not going to hold my kids back for some supposed advantage for 3 years and then have them have to pay for it for the next 10-18 years.

I'm all for allowing children who truly *need* to be held back or jumped forward to do so. But someone will always be the oldest and someone will always be the youngest in a class.

 

[guelde96]

I guess the big question is what your schools curriculum for kindergarten consists of.

Our cutoff is 5 by 9/1.

My son was 5 on 6/28.

He went to preschool. His teachers said he was ready. He knew all his letters, shapes, could count high, & write name.

We thought he was ready!?

In our school the kindergarteners are learning to read. They are expected to read when they enter 1st grade. My son could sound out the words but could not blend them together. His teacher said this is a common problem for young kindergarten students. Blending is a skill children have trouble grasping until they are 6.

My son has had difficulty with reading ever since. All of his other skills are on or above target. He will be entering 4th grade this year.

If I had the chance to do it all over there is NO WAY I would start my son in kindergarten if he turned five in the spring or summer.

Yes, eventually these children do catch up. My son has lost much confidence in doing so.

I have a daughter who has a January birthday. She has had no trouble in school.

Every child is different. I do think there is a big difference in girls and boys at this age.

 

[guelde96]

Holding kids back is a huge pet peeve of mine. If I ruled the world (LOL) children who are born within in a month of the state cut off date would could be placed in school at their parent's discretion. If their birthday were outside that one month window, they would need to go through an evaluation process similar to an IEP to demonstrate substantial need. IE, if the cut off was Sept 30, then children born from August 30-October 30 could start that school year or not, depending on where their parents felt was most appropriate. Outside of that time line there would need to be significant testing done to determine need for either a late or early start.

I am sick to death of parents who think that the purpose of school is for their children to show off how much they know rather than actually learn something. Parents are wanting their kids to have mastered the kindergarten curriculum before they even start. Then they get to kindergarten and complain that is not challenging enough for their child. School boards bow to the pressure and make kindergarten even more academic and make the cut offs even earlier. It's getting totally out of hand. I'm seeing more and more kindergarten classes with 7 year olds in them!

My kids all have "late" birthdays. I have no plans of holding any of them back. My first DD went on time and has done just fine. I don't want my kids to be freshman at 16 or in college at 19. Studies are coming out showing that kids who were held back tend to think less of their own achievements. In college, none of my friends with late birthdays regretted not being held back. My friend who were older had the most frustration.

Things tend to even out by 3rd grade regardless. I'm not going to hold my kids back for some supposed advantage for 3 years and then have them have to pay for it for the next 10-18 years.

I'm all for allowing children who truly *need* to be held back or jumped forward to do so. But someone will always be the oldest and someone will always be the youngest in a class.

I am not sure how old you are. But things are drastically different now than when I was in school. We had the letter people in kindergarten. Now they are expected to read.

I don't care what age are allowed into kindergarten. I want children being taught age appropriate. I feel the schools should inform parents of this prior to starting kindergarten.

I know by us the number of teachers who hold there child one year is significant. I wish I had known all of this prior to my son starting school.