Anyone have someone pass away on their child's birthday?

[diznygirl]

Celebrate early this year.

And then cross your fingers that nobody passes away on her actual birthday.

When nothing happens, you can point that out to her and breathe a sigh of relief.

But in all probability nothing will really ease her mind until then.

 

[minkydog]

We got word that my grandfather had passed away an hour before my DDs 4th birthday party. We cancelled the party, but we did have her best friend come over to play for awhile. After all, Grandad lived about 800 miles away--it's not like we were going to run right over there. I was 9 months pregnant, so I knew I wasn't going to go anywhere. So, her little friend came over and played "dress ups" for a bit and they swung on the swing-set awhile. We broke out the cake and ice cream and just had a little gathering. DD still remembers it to this day. It doesn't seem to bother her now, but of course, she is 22. She has had 18 years of good birthdays.

In our family we often celebrate birthdays on a day other than the date of birth. It never really posed a problem and my kids were glad to have a birthday whenever it was convenient. I think if your child feels funny about celebrating on her day, talk to her and find out when she would rather celebrate. She may only want to do this for a short while, or she may do it permanently. Time will tell. But I wouldn't get too upset about it right now.

 

[Geoff_M]

I have a friend whose birthday is September 11th... a date that pretty much bums everyone out. Poor guy.

 

[LisaR]

Maybe let her celebrate with friends on a different day (which wouldn't be unusual for kids if their birthday doesn't fall on a weekend). But I would absolutely celebrate with family on the actual day so she can see that she isn't cursed (and hope, pray, cross your fingers that nobody passes away that day).

I know this is different, but my DD around that age got extremely sick on the first day of vacation two years in a row. One was so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital via ambulance because she lost consciousness at a walk in clinic. She was certain she was jinxed or cursed and said she was never going on vacation again. We forced it. We even went back to the same place where she had the horrible episode one year later. I was so incredibly stressed out. I think even a simple cold would have put her over the edge. Thankfully, it all went well! She will be 20 next month and absolutely loves to travel. I would hate for your daughter to go through life thinking she is cursed.

 

[kimmar067]

....one of my oldest DS's best friend's [my DS was in his wedding last October] dad died at his 2nd birthday party. His mom was pregnant with his younger sister [obviously, she never got to meet her dad]...

 

[kimmar067]

Nov 1st-Mom's birthday
Nov 2nd-her mom died & funeral was on Nov 5th which is my sister's birthday

For the past year & a half or so, my mom was sick with kidney cancer. We had her over the house this past Nov 1st (her birthday) for a party. It was the last day that we saw her alert. Two days later we were called to let us know that she wasn't doing too good. She passed away on Nov 10th.

My sister just found out that her daughter is pregnant and is due Nov 3rd. So that birth can go either on my mom or sister's birthday OR the day my mother or grandmother died. Beginning on Nov has turned into a not so good time.

.....I found out that I was pregnant with our first DS on Thanksgiving Day 1985; later in the day, my DH's grandfather passed away...

 

[minkydog]

I have a friend whose birthday is September 11th... a date that pretty much bums everyone out. Poor guy.

Yeah, that's my BILs birthday. It's a huge downer, so they celebrate on the day before now.

 

[lustergirl]

Not on my son's birthday but the day after. My dad passed away when my younger son just turned 3.

 

[minkydog]

.....I found out that I was pregnant with our first DS on Thanksgiving Day 1985; later in the day, my DH's grandfather passed away...

I always feel bad for people who lose a loved one on or around a holiday. I have lost loved ones on or near a holiday and it still affects me to a small degree. It's no longer such a sad day, but the memories can be sobering.

 

[kimmar067]

....tell me about it. My DH's grandmother passed on Christmas Eve, his mom passed on Good Friday, while his uncle passed on New Years' Eve....

 

[HM]

It may just be a matter of maturity to get past her feeling of the curse. I hope so.

As far as letting her celebrate on a different day, that is fine by me for the same reason! Summer birthdays can be a disappointment when all your friends are gone. My only real concern is helping her work through the fact she thinks her birthday is cursed.

 

[Andtototoo]

I have a friend whose birthday is September 11th... a date that pretty much bums everyone out. Poor guy.

I have a nephew whose birthday is 9/11. He never tells people his real birth date unless he has to and never celebrated his birthday on his actual date.

 

[usd2bmd]

My daughter and my mother were very close. My mom was the caregiver when I went back to work at 6 weeks. She took care of her up through elementary school before and after until my daughter was old enough to stay alone. M mother passed away at 11:45pm the night before my daughters 16th birthday. They haven't really been a happy occasion since no matter how hard we try.

I think as your daughter gets older and realizes it isn't cursed it might get easier.

 

[mrsksmithvt]

She does have two guardian angels tied to her birthday. Not many of us can claim that. I hope she knows that she is blessed and not cursed. Maybe you could research famous people who also share her day.

 

[monsterkitty]

My dad died on my birthday. While we missed my dad terribly, my family made sure that my birthday was my birthday and not a reminder of my dad's death. We still remember the day my dad died, but we also know that he would be upset if we remembered the day for his death instead of remembering how much he loved to celebrate birthdays.

My in-laws, specifically my sister-in-law and father-in-law (when he was alive), were horrified when they found out my dad died on my birthday and that we still celebrate my birthday. They feel it's an insult to my father's memory.

 

[macraven]

my mother died right before my birthday last year.
i spent my birthday at the funeral home for arrangements.

some things you never forget.

 

[AnnaS]

My dad passed on my dil's birthday (12/23) and father in law passed on 4th of July (not a birthday but a significant day).

 

[Katy Belle]

Hugs to your DD! I would celebrate early this year. Just keep reassuring her.

My BFF ...on her son's 10th birthday, his 7 year old cousin, who was as close as a brother, died in a 4-wheeler accident. It's been 7 years now, but the first 3 or 4 were really hard on everybody.

 

[twinkleintc]

My Mom passed away after being sick for 64 days on my niece's birthday, who is like our daughter. It is also Halloween. We didn't tell her till after she had trick or treated. She was 9. She knew Grandma loved her xs infinity. We celebrate both occasions. It was definitely hard at first but now it all goes hand in hand. Time will help & your DD will realize she is lucky to share her date of birth, I bet.

 

[Claudia1]

DH's mother was buried on his 18th birthday and my one-and-only sister died on my son's 20th birthday.

I honestly came close to choking to death last week at my DGS's 7th birthday party in our home. I had a coughing spell as I was eating birthday cake and I aspirated a wet, soggy mass of cake. All of the adults knew I was in big trouble. I couldn't cough, talk, or pass any air. As panic set in, I started to feel myself black out but DH saved me. Seriously, it was that close. The Heimlich Maneveur doesn't work as well with birthday cake as a solid piece of food, I found out. I think my gasping packed it all in. Freaked everybody out but I'm alive to tell the story.

BTW, this was the second time DH had to save me from choking........ and I'm hoping it will be that last time he needs to to it!