Anyone have a school threated to kick out your child? NEW UPDATE 12/22 on PG 5

[mapmakerj]

There are at least two well-documented ways to determine if your child has a neurologically based disorder of ADD or ADHD: a spectrogram or an EEG can identify specific patterns in certain parts of your child's brain. Ok, they may not be 100%, but they are shown to be very, very accurate, more accurate then just a psychological test or observation (which by the way he has had all 3 done). My statement about "scan" and "brain waves" were made as general terms, as I was upset when I posted and did not have the documents in front of me. I got this information from 2 psychologists, a pediatrician, a neurologist and a book called The ADD Answer that was recommended to me. We are not giving up on figuring this out but when only 1 out of 5 professionals say ADD we are not going to aggressively pursue anymore ADD testing. Before someone jumps all over me-I didn't say we were ruling it out, just not aggressively testing for it anymore. There were a couple of posts that really bothered me because they made it sound like we didn't think our DS had a problem, which we obviously do or we would ignore the school and not be trying to find a solution. At this point we are going to continue to pursue the diagnosis of neuro delay due to being a preemie, as was suggested by the other 4 professionals and try a course of action directed toward treating that problem. He will have another outside evaluation so we can have the most current documentation possible to present to the school when we make our decision as to whether to move him or homeschool him. (Alot will also be based on how we feel about the attitudes and curriculum at the other school).

 

[jojowentbyby]

I would really like to see about homeschool but my DH doesn't want any part of that. He won't even consider it. He feels it would be harmful to keep him out of a structured environment and that he has to have the daily socialization.

DH felt the same way when I metioned homeschooling. His mother and aunt were teachers for 30 years. Now a year later DH actually said "Thank you for taking her out. Her attitiude and life have completely changed, and I just wanted to say thanks for doing all of this for her and I am sorry that I made it a hard decision for you because I wasn't supportive. I was wrong and I am glad you did it even though I didn't agree. I don't think she should ever go back to public school"

As structure DD thinks it is more structured. She says it was a pain when you are in the middle of something and then you have to stop because it is art time or lunch time. Then you have to come back and pick up where you left off. SHe said it was impossible to finish anything. She likes not moving on until she is done.

As for socialization. She plays Basket ball and participates in a chorus and Girl Scouts. We belong to a support group and one 3 hour play date a week beats the 20 minutes a day recess she would get at school. I can't think of any socialization that was a posative on the school playground. It was always some one was mad at some one or the boys versus girls war that apperantly is from when I was in school, always fighting of some sort.

When people meet her they are shocked at how I tell them the school would describe her. BOth of my children WAAYYY above grade level as compared to their ppublic school counter parts and we homeschool in the same amount of time it would take to get ready in the morning and go throught he back packs and do homework at the end of the day. I was scared out of my mind when we started but our whole family's stress has been decreased 10 fold when public school was eliminated from our lives. I did not do this because I think Homeschooling is the only way to get a good education I did it because She has medical issue which cause her to miss school alot. Even though whe made staright A's and had lots of friends she still had behavior issues (non violent). HEr issues ended up being a blessing and forced us into this option which has become such a positive in our lives.

I hope everything works out for your child and I hope he finds more happiness in his days because it does not sound as though he is very secure with his school.

 

[hsmamato2]

Hi all- The best book around to check out an elimination diet is "Is This Your Child?" By Dr. Doris Rapp. It's a simple process, but takes some time and effort from parents, it's worth a try...
Also- please don't discount the homeschool option. My heart breaks when I hear of these stories, it may be that your child is just a normal active boy, who needs more time to mature socially than he is being given in his school situation. I don't know, b/c I'm no doctor.
Please look up (maybe google search) for home education magazine, they have online articles, and I've read much about add,adhd, and the ways that some families have chosen to homeschool the kids and the incredible* Documented* results that these families have acheived.
I also am the mom of active young ones, and I know in my heart that a "one size fits all" education wouldn't fit them at all! Never stop fighting for your child, and what is best for him!

 

[HenDuck]

Hugs to you and your family.

I will add my own story here in hopes that it will help someone.

My DS (5) is REALLY bright. I'm not just being a proud mom here, but people have always been amazed at his capacity since he was a little over a year old.

He is spoiled rotten and is the center of the family universe. He thinks he's an adult and doesn't "get" that he's the kid and we're the adults. Sooo, he can be a handful.

It is also possible that he has some attention deficit issues. We don't know yet, but I would not be surpised if he was disagnosed with ADHD or some facsimile thereof.

He went to preschool last year at a school where the teachers only knew how to deal with one type of child - the compliant kind. They only knew one way to teach and were not willing to be creative or make accomodations for any child who did not fit within their parameters.

The result? My DS was always being punished for something. Sometimes it was justified, like getting into a fight with another child (no physical hitting, just arguments). Sometimes, it was ridiculous, like being "too excited" when it was time to share a family project (which by the way he never got to share). Oh heaven forbid a child should be excited to share! I could go on, but I won't.

The school basically said HE (DS) was the problem. They couldn't or wouldn't come up with different strategies to help him enjoy school. Just put him in "time out" every other day. Gee thanks, that's really teaching him to adjust to school. Everyday, all we had to look forward to was the teaching "squealing" on DS, what he did wrong that day.

So we pulled him out of that school and gave him a nice, long summer break.

Since August, he has been in a Montessori preschool. And it's like night and day. Oh, he still has way more energy than anyone in the room, BUT HE IS NOT PENALIZED FOR IT! The teachers understand him and find creative ways to help him adjust and to remain focused. And I can truly say that he has learned more in the 4 months that he's been in the Montessori program than the whole year he WASTED at that other preschool. He is now reading to the younger children in the class and leading the class in their presentations!

Montessori is working for my DS and we are grateful that we moved him.

I'm not saying Montessori is for every child, with ADHD or not, I'm just saying there are other programs and other teachers out there who truly try to reach each child, no matter how imperfect or different they may be.

Also, my DS is a late-born child and, of course a boy. I would not dream of putting him in kindergarten until next year, when he's almost 6. I think he would have floundered in kindergarten this year, even though he is already reading at second grade level.

Follow your gut instinct and find out what's best for your child.

Best of luck to you and many, many hugs to you and yours.

 

[Mom to Jordan]

I am glad you are geting a few more replies from parents that agree that it might not be all your child. I just see so many kids get over diagnosed so often. Yes, you need to listen to the people that suggest he may have some special needs but also listen to those that have experenced children that just do not fit the "model child" mold. You might want to read James Dobson's "Bringing up Boys". It is a Christian view of how boys mature and grow.

Jordan's mom

 

[Tiger926]

I've been lurking on this thread for a few days - very interesting reading, indeed! As a Special Education department head in an alternative highschool, I applaud you for being interested in your child's development. Most of my students were tossed out by their families long ago, so I love it when I see parents who are willing to help their children in school.

Mostly everyone has given great advice to you, but in regards to the ADD/ADHD stuff, much of the new research (and indeed my own students are proof of this) has proven that many children have been wrongly misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD when in fact they are Bipolar. The symptoms of the two mimic each other, but the meds required for each are opposite, so when kids are misdiagnosed, it is difficult because they are on the wrong meds and in school situations, they don't respond well to individualized programs because the programs may not be appropriate. As well, no good docs should even think about diagnosing kids with ADD/ADHD as preschoolers as they are too young - I would venture that most young toddlers and preschoolers would score a positive on the ADD/ADHD checklist for sure! Many people are quick to use the ADD/ADHD card because it's easier to get kids medicated with this label present, but in fact, thousands of kids have been misdiagnosed for a reason - no one really knows exactly what ADD/ADHD is as it manifests itself in many shapes and forms.

Our school board can't afford to identify kids either, but we are basically encouraging all teachers to teach as if everyone in the room has a learning challenge (behaviour is included in this). This ensures that proper teaching strategies are employed for all, but it is most important for the students who struggle on a daily basis. You really need to check out some other schools or programs: Montessori, private programs, for example so that your son can begin to feel successful - our new education initiatives here in Ontario are all about proper pathways and so it's good that you trying to determine what is the best placement for your son.

I do wish you luck. Your son is very young and so his hitting could be for multiple reasons - one of which is frustration that he feels not liked or welcomed in this school. For this reason, I would refrain from telling him anything more about the situation - it is an adult topic and should not be discussed in his presence as the damage from this could be far worse than any of the other things that he's experiencing.

Good luck, Tiger

 

[alisonbestford]

.......while we are still grieving the loss of my Grandpa (they know all about how difficult it was on the family .....

Firstly I will apologise and admit that I haven't read your thread from Sept but this bit of your present post jumped out at me
Was your DS close to your grandpa?
I know it might seem to have little bearing on things, as a whole, but, if, as you say, it's affected all the family it can surely have added to other issues that might be affecting your DS.
My DF's son was diagnosed with Attention deficit disorder when he was 7. Prior to that he would come home from school in tears, crying because he had been naughty and didn't know how to stop.
He desperately wanted to but couldn't
His grandpa had recently died and he found it difficult to deal with, which added to the whole confusion.
After literally standing in her GP's surgery, and not backing down, my DF eventually got a referral to a specialist paediatric consultant and hasn't looked back since
As I said earlier my apologies for not being fully informed of the whole scenario but just felt I had to slip in this post
Good luck

 

[mapmakerj]

FINALLY AN IEP! With the help from the administrator I talked about, we were given the paperwork today. They are finally going to proceed with testing him! We have the independent evaluation set up for Dec. 8th (given the holiday it was their soonest opening) which the teacher said was fine, so maybe now between the two we will get some real help and answers.

 

[HenDuck]

Glad to hear you are making progress.

Good luck with the evaluation!

 

[ducklite]

FINALLY AN IEP! With the help from the administrator I talked about, we were given the paperwork today. They are finally going to proceed with testing him! We have the independent evaluation set up for Dec. 8th (given the holiday it was their soonest opening) which the teacher said was fine, so maybe now between the two we will get some real help and answers.

Yeah! Two things to keep in mind--you are allowed imput as to what is and is not in the IEP, and, the IEP can be modified at any time when it no longer is needed or working.

Anne

 

[Nancyg56]

We were very successful with this also. My DD changed drastically with diet control. Yes, the whole family was involved but I was amazed at the change in her after a few months. Though it may not be successful for you, giving it a try may not hurt! When first given the advice we were very skeptical but had great results.

Kelly

Worked with my son also. We tried this when he was 12 and having a very difficult time in school. No ketchup, apple juice, additives or artificial colors. I really changed my cooking habits, but his attention span was so much better. We tried it because I was not willing to resort to meds without trying other methods first.

 

[vickyBaby]

Has your child been evaluated by a Pediatric Neurologist?

 

[HappyLawyer]

I am a parent of an ADHD child, i was also a teacher who taught special ed emotional and behavior disturbed, so here are my thoughts,

if YOU feel you should have YOUR child evaluated for meds, then do so. Not what everyone else thinks, but what is best for your family and your child.

I am not speaking for all teachers but there are some that just don't want to be bothered, have you called the district office, the superintendant, and let them know about your concerns. The meeting you had sounds very similiar to a meeting they hold for students that need special ed services, but has the school district tested your child for any type of learning disabilities?

You really cannot let them strong arm you, tell the principal you want them to put into writing, what they said about suspending your child. Also do you have a school handbook, what consequences are outlined in there. I have been on both scopes, as a parent on the med issue, but as a teacher, i have seen kids that truely need services and i have also seen schools where the staff don't want to be bothered and want to move the child to an alternative school. What is really getting me is the kid is only 5 and after 47 days they can determine all that-hmmm

 

[mapmakerj]

Well things are finally calming down. After getting our IEP it was decided that our DS would do better at another school. (The School Psychologist and the Special Ed teacher representing the district told the principal that
they would not support medication at this time just to keep him in her school, which ticked her off because she just wanted him there so she wouldn't lose funding and had no interest in what was best for my DS ) My DH & I went to the other school and were really impressed. The teacher/student ratio was fantastic. My DS currently has one teacher for 21 kids. The new school has 2 kindergartens in one big room for a total of 35 (including DS)kids, but there are 2 K-teachers, 1 full-time teaching assistant and 1 special ed teacher in the rooms at all times. Then they have the specialists- OT, Speech etc. in the room for a time everyday and they also have university students in twice a week. On average they have 5 teachers at a time in the class. The kids are broken into small groups of 4 or 5 for each learning lesson so they get more attention from the teacher. My DS will need extra help with writing, but at this school they do not remove anyone from class, the OT will be right there to help during class. They do not believe in pulling kids with special ed needs out of mainstream class, they just get the specialist they need right there. They seem very nurturing and after hearing the whole story on ds, the special ed teacher wanted him the very next day (although she knew it couldn't happen that fast.) We are having our IEP meeting on the 12th and are looking at switching him monday the 19th, that way he gets a little look (4 days) at the school before break so he isn't so anxious over the holidays. I can't believe this school is in the same district as our current one, as they have such different views. I found out that DS already knows one of the little girls in his class, so they said they would buddy them up until DS knows the routine. (DS thinks the world of this girl and is very excited to see her.) The school is actually the one my Dsis attended when she was little, but they have changed alot. Thanks to everyone for the support and encouragement. I will update you all after the New Year on how the change is going.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

Thanks for the update and i hope all goes well in his new school.

 

[Bird-Mom]

I can't believe this school is in the same district as our current one, as they have such different views.

I am so glad your ds will be in a better place. I have found it amazing the differences between schools in the same district. My dd is in developmental preschool, and she was moved to her neighborhood school for this year after being in an overflow classroom from last year, which we loved and requested again. They would not let her stay since the closer school had room. Well, the teacher was horrible. She would not work with dietary restrictions that we have (no juice and no peanut products, not a big deal), kept asking to move dd to the PM class so that they could open up more AM spots for incoming kids (then why oh why did they give us an AM spot in the first place if it was a problem?), and refusing to complete dd's IEP as required. I requested a change of school and after much negotiating, got it when I informed the director of special ed that my dd's IEP was not handled correctly. The classroom that she is in now is absolutely amazing. Every day, I am so thankful for the differences!

 

[llp479]

I completely understand your frustration. I have twin DDs who were born at 31 weeks. My one dd has an IEP for an ld and the school kept trying to push the ADD diagnosis. Has anyone ever mentioned Sensory Integration Disorder to you? This is also very common in premies. Many of the symptoms are the same as ADD, so it often gets ignored, if the persons involved are even aware of the disorder.

I had suspected this might be the issue for years, and had even asked that she be evaluated by the distrcit. Their evaluation, like many others, was inconclusive. Finally, in 4th grade my dd's social worker asked me if this might be the issue. I told her I had suspected as much for years and had not gotten any district support in this.

I found an OT who specializes in SID near our home. We had our dd evaulated and yes she has SID. She is sensory avoiding in many areas, including sounds. Therefore, the buzzing of the overhead light, or the kid next to her tapping his pencil would send her over the edge. She is unable to "filter" noises, so it makes it impossible for her to concentrate when all she can do is focus on the noise. Clothing can make her nuts too. The tag on the shirt, the way socks feel, you name it. We need to allow extra time in the AM for the daily sock battle.

We did therapy with her over the summer and WOW what a difference. In fact, she is now in 6th grade in a regular classroom with support for her LD and made the high honor roll. Compare that to a kid who barely passed 5th grade.

There are many great web sites on Sensory Integration Disorder/Dysfunction. When I was doing research I was floored by the number of characteristics/symptoms that matched my dd.

Good luck with your journey. I wish I could tell you that it's going to be over soon, but it will continue as long as your son's in school. Even with an IEP every year will be a struggle to make sure the IEP is followed and that the teacher understands your child's issues.

 

[mapmakerj]

Thanks for mentioning SID. I did some internet research this AM before going to school. DS just had his OT evaluation yesterday and I mentioned SID to her and she feels that might just be the problem, in fact, she was going to talk to me about it today. She is now going to do further testing for SID. Also, I just spoke with the teacher and behavior specialist this AM and they concur that his behaviors definately fit the description. He is very "touchy-feely", hates the pencil tapping etc, is distracted easily when it is noisy, doesn't like wind, snow or rain hitting his face, I could go on but you can see these things are very much sensory issues. Thanks again for the continued support and suggestions. I feel very lucky to have help from those who have been there.

 

[llp479]

I highly recommend the book The Out of Synch Child. It's all about SID. While my dd was 10 when I read the book, I could relate to so many of the issues it described in infancy/toddler years to her behavior. In fact, I gave this book to a friend because I recognized many of the same signs in her now 13 year old son. The school district was trying to tell her he had OCD when in fact it's SID. His counting of the floor tiles while walking the hall was to help him cope with all of the sensory input that was overwhelming him in the hall.

You're lucky that the OT picked up on it. Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions regarding SID.

 

[rrs_mhs]

So glad to hear that you are making progress and that your school district is working with you. I'm sure you have learned a lot in this short period of time. Good luck with everything!