Anyone have a "planning hating family member"?? - How to deal...

[DISNEYmooner2008]

OK, so I am a TOTAL PLANNING FREAK. I have been planning and planning and planning our Disney Honeymoon for over a year. DF however CAN’T STAND TO PLAN. He thinks that we should just “roll with the punches” when we get there. It was like pulling teeth to get him to allow me to make ADR’s at Narcoossee’s, California Grill, Citrico’s, Yachtman Steakhouse, Cinderella’s Royal Table, The Coral Reef, and Le Cellier. I know a few of these restaurants are hard to get in to, so I HAD to make ADR’s ( he wasn’t happy at all but let me do it). Now, I’m wanting to make a reservation for a carriage ride and a few other things in advance and once again we are having issues. Does anyone else have a DF or DH or DW that is “anti-planning”?? If so, how do you deal?? How do you convince them it’s best to plan because it’s DISNEY???

 

[OKW Lover]

You're in a very difficult situation. First, I'd urge you not to over-plan, and second, please don't force this on your spouse. Remember, this is supposed to be a vacation. A time to relax. Some of the best Disney experiences are those that just happen.

Sure, plan a few nice meals together. But also allow some room for just going with the spur of the moment dining.

Similarly, go ahead a make a list of attractions that you want to do in each park. But use it only as a check-off list after you've wandered around the park for a while taking in what ever comes your way.

You'll be much happier at the end of your trip.

 

[DISNEYmooner2008]

The only thing I'm planning in advance in dining reservations (dinner only, not breakfast or lunch), a carriage ride, a massage, and which park to go to on which day. I'm not trying to do "touring plans", plan which ride to ride 1st,2nd,3rd, ect.. or anything like that. I personally don't think i'm taking it overboard... AM I??? Maybe I am and just don't know it...

 

[HannaBelle]

Has your DF been to WDW before?

I think planning meals and a few things fun things is a good idea. Put the # for Disney Dining in your cell and cancel your reservations if you cannot make them.

Before our first trip, my DH accused me of "sucking the fun out of WDW"!

I planned meals, choose which park on which day and noted the opening/closing times for all the parks. I had a spreadsheet with all of this info on it. (We were traveling with a group of 12 people and I was "in charge"...no pressure, right?)

After we got home, he had to admit that we would not have had as much fun and gotten to do as much without my planning!

The key is to plan and have reservations, but don't be afraid to cancel your reservations if it is not going to work out for you guys! And plan to have "unscheduled" time too!

 

[DISNEYmooner2008]

Has your DF been to WDW before?

Neither DF nor I have been to WDW before. This is our honeymoon AND our first visit!!

 

[Sam914]

I've planned the same things as you and I actually got a comment about it from my SIL the other day! I think in a place as huge as Disney it is important to plan things to make sure you don't miss anything you want to see! Plus, reservation in advance seem like practically a requirement! I called a couple weeks ago to make ours and it was next to impossible to get it all worked out because it was late notice, if you got there with no reservations i don't think you'de be eating in park!

 

[AutumnKlassic]

I soooo know what you mean!!! My parents and my aunt and uncle are leaving in two days to go on a trip that is supposed to be golf for the guys and Disney for the girls. I started doing major research for them as soon as they told me they were going (2 months ago). But as soon as I mentioned anything they were like "Its 2 months away!" or "We dont need to worry about that!" Now since yesterday they have been freaking out since they didnt know what hours the parks were going to be open and didnt know the weather. They still dont know which golf courses to go to. I have spent around 14 hours since yesterday looking up all sorts of information for them and printing out all of my list and they are like " I need to go to walmart and get this or that etc."

I think you can have a good time if you dont plan but I think you can have a GREAT time if you invest in some research before you go.

I made some reservations for them for dinner. One around 4 and another at a different place around 8. This way they can choose between the two places that day and not feel so structered. They do know to cancel the other one though.

 

[eliza61]

I'm like you fiance. I no longer plan just about any thing. I hated it, here are my reasons.

1) When I first started with the ADR's I spent weeks trying to pick just the right restuarants for my family THEN I spent the rest of the time worrying endlessly if they were ok. The only good thing that came out of this was that I lost weight because of the stress.

2) When we got to WDW, I turned into this maniac "she-devil" because god forbid we weren't in the correct park for the ADR. My kids actually wanted to go home because I was making every one miserable with my "plan"

3) I missed out on some wonderful "magically moments" because I was so obsessed with my plan. I put more stock in what I had read on these boards than what was happening with my family. God forbid if we wanted to go to a park that wasn't sanctioned by TGM that day, all hell broke loose.

4) Our routine was different once we got to WDW. usually we eat dinner at 6:00 but when we went on vacation we found that we were not eating until 7:00-7:30 pm. I had all these early ADR's and didn't keep them because we weren't hungry. Then I felt guilty because I forgot to cancel. Like some where in the mk was a starving family with their noses pressed against the window of Tony's not being able to get in because of me.

When we brought our DVC my DH put his foot down, he said I was crazy if he was going to pay thousands of dollars to be on a schedule, he can do that at work.

Now we don't make any plans, we are going in 5 days (yippee) and I have exactly 1 ADR for 7 nights. I guarantee you we will eat TS every night also.

I'm never going back to plans or schedules, about the only thing I know is the park hours.

 

[eliza61]

Neither DF nor I have been to WDW before. This is our honeymoon AND our first visit!!

Stop trying to plan the perfect honeymoon. It's already perfect. You will be with the greatest guy in the world (after my dh of course) and at disney. If you didn't do any thing but sit on a park bench and canoodle all day it would still be perfect.

Don't turn into Bridezilla

 

[mareed]

Neither DF nor I have been to WDW before. This is our honeymoon AND our first visit!!

Just had to say Enjoy your honeymoon! DH & I also honeymooned at WDW as first trips for either of us 17 years ago. Didn't have any planning resources in those days, and there might have been some guidebooks available, but we didn't even thing of getting one. We still had a great time, although looking back, we know we were completely clueless!

We returned 11 years after our honeymoon with our kids and have been hooked since then! I now do extensive planning, and DH doesn't get into the planning much, but he does really appreciate the results of my planning, so it works out quite well. He'll provide some input as far as dining, but leaves the detail planning to me.

From your trip countdown, it looks like you're going at a great time as far as crowds - after New Years week, right? Have a wonderful time!

 

[DISNEYmooner2008]

From your trip countdown, it looks like you're going at a great time as far as crowds - after New Years week, right? Have a wonderful time!

Yes, we will be there January 6 - January 13. So according to everyone the crowds are wonderful except for towards the end of our stay due to the marathon.

 

[Juliegirl1]

Plan but don't overplan or obsess.

And you don't necessarily have to clear EVERYTHING with your fiance. Make it a surprise carriage ride or surprise massage.

Keep a cheat sheet with you regarding your confirmation numbers and a number to call to cancel in case you are having a wonderful time doing something else. Remember, it's okay to cancel, unless of course, you have already paid for it and won't be refunded. Then you might want to try to show up for the reservation.

I'm taking my boyfriend for the first time this December and he doesn't understand why I'm planning either. He also doesn't understand why I won't promise that we will ride and see everything. (I've been five times and there is still stuff I haven't seen or done).

Relax, have fun and enjoy your wedding and honeymoon!

 

[TXTurtles]

2c from a recent bride (me! ) and wife of an anti-planner - Don't think of this as THE Disney trip - think of it as a combined Honeymoon and Disney scouting trip. You're there to get the lay of the land, figure out how everything works, and get a taste for it all. Don't worry, you'll be back! Honestly I thought my first trip was the worst (though it was still fantastic) because it was all so strange and new. Now that WDW is "home" the trips are far better. So ditch that "Must Do Everything" monkey that is SO prevelant with first trips.

Now to planning - it looks good to me. Unfortunately Disney, like flying, cannot be done just on a whim. I wouldn't drive up to the airport, say "I want a flight to X" and expect to be on it within the hour. It just doesn't work that way. Same with sit down restraunts at Disney and special shows. Planning is required if those are important. On the other hand it's very easy to overplan, especially if one of you is more a go-with-the-flow type. Fortunately both DH and I are in that second camp so we vacation well together - I make the ressies since I know we need them while he's fairly oblivious to the whole thing. All he knows is that we're eating SOMEWHERE each night. I did a few "would you like to eat at the place with THIS menu or THAT one" and he chose there ... but that's it.

So my guess ... just make the ressies and, if you've got to talk about them at all with DF, treat them as insurance - if you're having a great time at MK and don't want to leave to go to Coral Reef - hey, that's what cell phones and second trips are for. Don't plan each day - if your honeymoon's like mine you'll spend the first two days recovering from the wedding. And we had a low-key one! Just know which days are best for which park (fits on a business card) and go with how you feel that day or whichever bus shows up first. That's how DH and I tend to do it and while we don't do EVERYTHING ... again, what's the fun of going back if there's nothing left to do?

And if you really want the carriage ride and spa time (sounds fantastic to me!) then make them surprises. That's what I'd do since for my DH listening to me debate the merits and get him excited about it only makes him wish he were in another state. However once we're there he's fine and ready for anything. Hopefully your DF is the same!

 

[tl_swift]

After 20 years of marriage to a man that is the exact opposite of me this is what I do.

I make the plans and then roll with the punches. What I mean is this. I make the reservations. The big ones we discuss. The little ones, like where we eat, excursions and such we don't discuss. I go ahead and make the reservations. Then when the time arrives I ask him "would you like to do this....." He usually says "great" I come out the hero and he feels like it's spontaneous. Now if he says no lets do this..... then I roll with it and call and cancel. We still usually end up having a great time. Its learning to pick your battles.

 

[DISNEYmooner2008]

Well looks like my planning just paid off a little. By using the January discount code I just got upgraded to the Animal Kingdom Lodge and upgraded to park hopper and water park & more option tickets and STILL saved $60....

 

[fedexreg]

On your honeymoon, do not plan anything! Go with the flow. My DW and I honeymooned in a pop-up camper in the 900 loop at FWC in 2002. It was the greatest week of our lives! We planned two things - the hop de doo review, and going to the beer store.

We had more fun acting on a spur of the moment then we ever would have had planning each meal and what park to be at. We had one of our greatest afternoons having a pizza on the boardwalk! We never even knew it was there - now we go there every time we go back.

Let yourself plan your next trip! Your honeymoon should be a time of celebration and fun! You can "plan" when you bring your kids back on your 5th anniversary.

Congratulations!

 

[DISNEYmooner2008]

Let yourself plan your next trip! Your honeymoon should be a time of celebration and fun! You can "plan" when you bring your kids back on your 5th anniversary.
Congratulations!

Already planning our next trip!!!! A trip with my parents for late 2009!!

 

[seashell724]

Ok, Ok. Here is what I do. I love to plan but try to not OVER plan. (Doesn't always work.) Thus leaving room for fun things to be done. So, for our next vacation I have planned every other day. I did make ADR's for some places but we plan on grocery shopping and making a lot of food to help our budget. I left 2 and a half days where I will NOT plan anything. Therefore, we can hang out and go to the beach or do something else we find when we get there. That way we are both happy. Maybe you both can find a medium that way.

 

[NJtoATL]

My husband and I honeymooned at WDW nearly 11 1/2 years ago. I did not over plan because my husband likes to go with the flow. The two places that I wanted to eat at - the Coral Reef and someplace (I forget) I made reservations. I did not plan every moment of everyday. If I did we would have been fighting our entire trip and that is no fun.

Just make a few plans and leave room for being flexible. I say this while I am finishing packing for my Christmas trip to WDW.

Just have some big fun.

 

[aripantaloon]

I'm a planner as well and DH likes to just go with the flow. He always accuses of micro-managing and over-planning. My theory is that I'm only going to be in Disney (or wherever it is we are going that is either expensive or far from home) for a short amount of time and I don't want to waste any of it. When we are on a touring vacation (like visiting a European city or some place like Disney), I like to get up early and just go. I can sleep in on a weekend at home. Beach vacations are different. We can sleep in and still go to the beach. No biggie.

I had to explain the ADR system to DH since the last time we went was in 2000 and we barely ate at TS restaurants. This time, we are considering the DDP, so table service will be key in getting our value out of the plan.

If I were you, I think I'd make some ADR's and maybe plan some strategies for your "must see" attractions, like taking advantage of extra morning or evening hours or fast pass, but just have fun and see what happens the rest of the time. This IS your honeymoom after all (and you don't want to make your new DH angry with you for planning too much). You want to have time to be alone and relax as well.