Anyone have a MIL like mine?

[barnaby1]

Think of the positive in this -

You will never, ever have to feel guilty about not inviting them anywhere ever again!!!

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

I need a support group!!!

I could go on and on about my MIL. Everything is great when she needs us, but as soon as we disagree with her on anything she writes us the cruelest letters. It is made even harder by the fact that she and my SIL live in the same town with us. I hate family drama!

Yup...same thing here! As long as it's on her terms, she's happy! Her latest reason for being mad at me is that we chose not to give my DD the flu shot. She's been mad for the whole week about it. Um, last time, I checked, she was MY kid. You don't get a say in her getting a flu shot

We have dinner with my husband's family every Monday night Can't wait to rush home for that tonight

 

[Rm3idm]

Yup...same thing here! As long as it's on her terms, she's happy! Her latest reason for being mad at me is that we chose not to give my DD the flu shot. She's been mad for the whole week about it. Um, last time, I checked, she was MY kid. You don't get a say in her getting a flu shot

We have dinner with my husband's family every Monday night Can't wait to rush home for that tonight

Ughhh!! When DD was a baby MIL took her to the doctor for EVERYTHING! A cough, a sniffle, whatever it was, she had to call the doctor... After a month in her care I had to enroll her into a daycare. It was getting ridiculous... Flash forward 7 years later, she is hounding me about getting them the flu shot and H1N1... I wasn't going to have them vaccinated for my own reasons but now I just don't want to take them to get the shots because she wants me to...

 

[tloveswdw]

Please, that is mild compared to the crap I have to deal with , with my inlaws, including my sister in law who feel the whole world revolves around her.

It could be though when you asked your inlaws to go, she didn't have the funds but recently came into some money and felt it may be too late to go to WDW with your family.

Believe me not trying to make excuses. Because if you had all night and about 10 pages I could fill you in with all the crap my inlaws pull, including seeing my kids about 4 times a year when they live 1/2 hour away but they see my sister in laws kids about 5-6 x a week.

seriously, are we related? This sounds like my ILs to a tee.

Seriously, count your blessings, and quit asking. (she might take you up on it, and gosh that sounds worse!)

 

[gib4]

Is there a class for MIL's to take that concentrates on not treating DIL's or grandchildren equally? My MIL said, in front of my DD by the way (although she was only 2) that she preferred boys to girls because all girls are whiny. I had to grab both my kids and walk away before I belted her.

 

[Katy Belle]

Yes, I have a MIL like yours. Sad that there are so many out there. She pulls simliar stuff often, and I think she really doesn't get it that its hurtful. One of the biggies... We live overseas, so the kids and I spend about 6-8 weeks in the USA each summer. Much of that time is spent in their area. My DH usually comes about 10 days. One year they went on vacation for 6 days, the day after he arrived. AND they had him do the cattle chores for their farm while they were gone! The reason they went, "well you have to go along when people invite you or you won't get another invitiation."

She is selfish, selfish, selfish. And apparently she's not alone.

Hang in there!
Katy

 

[kaleighmariesmom]

Yes, I have a MIL like yours. Sad that there are so many out there. She pulls simliar stuff often, and I think she really doesn't get it that its hurtful. One of the biggies... We live overseas, so the kids and I spend about 6-8 weeks in the USA each summer. Much of that time is spent in their area. My DH usually comes about 10 days. One year they went on vacation for 6 days, the day after he arrived. AND they had him do the cattle chores for their farm while they were gone! The reason they went, "well you have to go along when people invite you or you won't get another invitiation."

She is selfish, selfish, selfish. And apparently she's not alone.

Hang in there!
Katy

OMG my In laws are the same way... minus the farm because we are city folk!!

DH NEVER goes home because he doesnt want to deal with them. He went home for the 1 st time in 2 years in May of this year. Had the trip home planned for 6 months. emailed everyone, called them 100 times and then we get there and they say "sorry we are going to out house in NH for the week.. we are buying a boat." we saw them for 45 mins. Havent seen their son in 2 years or their granddaugter.. They complain all the time on the phone that we never come home and then when they do... forget it! I can go on and on with stories like this. I wish they were a little nicer for DD sake. But then my DH says at least she has my family!

 

[1-disneyfan]

I'm sorry that your MIL did this I have had "issues" over the years with my MIL, but have gotten closer the last couple of years When your MIL does these things, just try to learn from them.....how not to behave she is the one missing out. It sounds like you will have a much nicer trip without her.

Kris

 

[barnaby1]

OMG my In laws are the same way... minus the farm because we are city folk!!

DH NEVER goes home because he doesnt want to deal with them. He went home for the 1 st time in 2 years in May of this year. Had the trip home planned for 6 months. emailed everyone, called them 100 times and then we get there and they say "sorry we are going to out house in NH for the week.. we are buying a boat." we saw them for 45 mins. Havent seen their son in 2 years or their granddaugter.. They complain all the time on the phone that we never come home and then when they do... forget it! I can go on and on with stories like this. I wish they were a little nicer for DD sake. But then my DH says at least she has my family!

Well - I live in the UK and my own Mother came on 2 holidays a few years apart to vist from Australia. One year she stayed with my brother and did not come to see us at all (on the excuse that she doesn't like London as it is too busy - it's not as if I live on Trafalger Square) and the second year she spent 4 days out of 6 weeks with us. MIL's are the least of my problems!!!!!

 

[kaleighmariesmom]

I always thought I would be close with my in-laws. It is really sad that we are not because I am SO close to my family!

 

[Ciciwoowoo]

Hey, it might be for the best. I guess instead of thinking there might be something wrong with you or your family because she doesn't want to go with you, just enjoy your own togetherness. Also, I would not ask her to go in the future.

Trust me, too much family at Disney can be detrimental to your own sanity!!!

 

[bdiddy]

My DH just told his mother we were going last week and he said he could tell she was mad about. All four of her kids have been to Disney several times and two of them have invited her.

Well....we can't afford to take anyone with us and she doesn't have the money to go herself - so what are we supposed to do?

And listen to this - it still makes me mad to think about it. We had our 1st trip planned out for ages. The entire family knew we were going over my birthday last Sept for free dining. Well, literally 3 days before we left MIL calls us and says "Your brother invited me to go to Disney with them this weekend" Now, mind you they are VERY wealthy and fly down all the time just for a long weekend. She says "Aren't you guys going to be there too?" and my DH is like "yes" thinking what the heck they are going the same weekend and how is this going to affect our trip. Well, MIL says maybe we can get together and meet up somewhere. DH told her that we had everything planned out in terms of what parks and where we were eating. The weirdest thing about this is not once did BIL or SIL call us to say they were going to - like it was some big secret. MIL actually told us not to say anything because she didn't know if she was supposed to tell they were going. They all stayed at the GF by the way and BIL got MIL a spa package!

Well, sure enough we were there from a Mon to Mon and come Thursday night we get a voice mail on the cell from BIL that says they are at Disney and want to meet up. It didn't work out for the next day but they kept calling and wanted to meet on Sat and I said no way am I spending my birthday with them and changing our plans so we sort of lied our way out of it again. I think they gave up after that and didn't call again and we didn't call them. So, we were there for 4 days the same time they were and didn't see them once! Thank goodness!!

And then we get together over Thanksgiving and not once does BIL, SIL or MIL say a word about us being at Disney at the same time.

The whole thing was just so weird!!!

 

[bgohre]

MIL: Hey guys, do you mind dropping me off at the airport next Sunday for my trip?
DH: Sure, where are you headed to?
MIL: To Disney with some friends. We bought tickets to MNSSHP.

I think we have the same MIL. Seriously.

 

[Ashlander]

My MIL drove me nuts last night. We were at soccer and my older kids start practice at 5:30. Around 5:40 she shows up and watches them until my SIL and nephew come. My SIL says - "why are we standing here". I said J & R are out there playing. She said oh - well we're late for practice and leaves. She walks about 10 feet and my MIL says ok - I'll see you later and follows my SIL. My youngest daughter had practice at 6pm - right next to my nephew's practice. My MIL sat and watched my nephew the entire time - not even in the middle so she can support both kids, but way down on my nephew's side. This isn't a surprise since this has been going on for a month now.

I had to leave for a meeting so when I meet up with my kids later my 4yr old said "Nana didn't watch me play soccer". My other two piped up and said "yeah - Nana never watches us"..."she always watches W". I don't mind the favoritism as much when it is just my husband and I noticing...but when the kids start getting upset & sad then I have a problem. My husband did call his mother last night and tell her that this wasn't fair to our kids and they were noticing. We'll see if she changes the behavior - I'm not sure. My MIL picks up my nephew from daycare about once a week. My daughter and nephew have been in the same preschool class for 3 years and not once has my MIL picked her up. Luckily my daughter let's my MIL know she thinks it's rude...however my MIL has yet to pick her up and do something with her.

Now granted my SIL needs a lot of help since she is a single parent and her ex-husband lives out of state. My MIL admits that she gives my nephew a lot more attention because he doesn't really have a dad in his life and we have such a great family and group of friends and my kids don't need the same attention. WHAT!!! They desperately want their grandmother's attention - we just can't make her want to see them, though. She spends all of her time with my SIL and nephew. She never makes any effort to see my kids, and it makes me sad. It is so opposite of my family. We make all of the effort to see them and as long as they need us, my SIL and MIL are great to us.

Ok - thanks for the vent. I was really feeling sick about this. So glad my husband called her on it last night. That released a lot of the stress I was feeling. I really wish I didn't live in the same town so I wouldn't have to deal with this so much. I'd move, but we LOVE where we live and we have such a great group of friends.

 

[ebtbmom]

I'd say Lucky you, you dodged a bullet!

When we went to Disney in 2006 we invited my FIL, MIL and 1 niece to go with us. THESE ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE WE INVITED! And this was originally our trip that we invited them on, not a family trip that we were planning together.

Then, my FIL decides to invite my husbands other 2 brothers and their entire families to go on OUR trip. Then, my FIL decides that he, himself, is not going to go. So we are stuck with MIL (who's OK and easy to get along with) 2 brothers (who roam around on their own and leave their kids with MIL) 1 SIL (who has a wheel chair and claims disability but when we were going to be late to spectro she threw the kids in the wheelchair and RAN across the park to make it) and their combined 3 girls (who then hung out together and basically ignored my 1 boy).

NEVER AGAIN. COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS!

 

[purpletiger]

Please, that is mild compared to the crap I have to deal with , with my inlaws, including my sister in law who feel the whole world revolves around her.

It could be though when you asked your inlaws to go, she didn't have the funds but recently came into some money and felt it may be too late to go to WDW with your family.

Believe me not trying to make excuses. Because if you had all night and about 10 pages I could fill you in with all the crap my inlaws pull, including seeing my kids about 4 times a year when they live 1/2 hour away but they see my sister in laws kids about 5-6 x a week.

I know it sucks but don't beat yourself up over it, its their hang up not yours. I feel your pain.

You just took the words right out of my mouth. My MIL sees my SIL kids all the time at the very least 5-6 X a week. Like you lives only 30 mins away and when they are even 5 min from us at the mall or something I just happen to call and find out and they still don't come by. I do not encourage my kids to call or communicate with them anymore. My kids too are starting to notice this behavior and I am tired of defending her and making excuses on why MIL don't do stuff with them, come by or spend the night, etc...

If they call they can talk with the kids but that is it here lately. Only phone calls. Never coming by and when we happen to be over at SIL's house and I see some new toys I ask niece and nephew where they came from and mostly every time it is from MIL, which is also a bone I would love to pick at (but I don't). She buys SIL's kids stuff all the time and my kids are left out. Makes me so mad. At least I have my parents and grandparents. Oh well.
Vent over.

 

[dormouse72]

I have to say I don't get along too badly with my ex-in-laws but I do feel bad for ex-SIL. We talk all the time and while they have been really great with my kids (take them for vacations, pay for after-school activities, come to as many of the performances as they can) they don't really do as much for their other grandchild.

My niece is...well, a difficult child (to put it mildly) and my SIL is VERY overprotective. My ex-FIL is afraid to be alone with her, even with my kids there, because he's afraid she'll cry or throw a tantrum and he hates to be the heavy. My ex-MIL gets into it with SIL over diet (my niece eats about 3 foods not found on the McDonald's menu and my ex-MIL is a foodie who hates McDonalds), clothes (MIL is old fashioned and doesn't approve of kids wearing black - SIL is very trendy and loves black), and visits (she's wanted my niece to stay with them from a baby, like my kids did, and SIL said "No way"). Some conflicts I understand - for example SIL is terrified of the ocean and MIL has a house on the beach; SIL asked that her daughter not go in the water and MIL took her in (so much for the first and only vacation at the beach house!) I feel bad because there are whole BATCHES of cousins my niece doesn't know at all.

SIL is a single parent like me and works crazy hours. It's taken a year or so but now my niece stays at my house on a fairly regular basis, so as long as my girls are there her behavior is better (that's what led to the beach house trip - my kids were there at the same week) and she has added waffles without syrup and wheat bread to her menu of approved foods (yes - her third food is plain grilled chicken). SIL and I are taking all the girls to Disney (two days - ) and she's becoming more comfortable - I've actually convinced her to "take an afternoon off" and leave my niece with me while she relaxes at the hotel pool; SIL HATES theme parks. I asked FIL to join us, as a joke really, but he said "I have jury duty" - actually pulling the jury duty slip out of his pocket. So I'm hoping that means he's feeling more comfortable around her.

 

[shellyfive]

There are not enough Schedule three narcotics on this PLANET for me to even consider asking my MIL on a Disney trip

Consider yourself blessed that the evil Narissa doesn't feel your family is worth the time, and don't let it ruin your fun



I could spend HOURS writing about mine, but I came to a point in life that I figure why waste my time in anger about her when she really gives a hodnose of nothin' about me!!!!!!

 

[DisneyAndRedSox]

Is my spouse and your spouse siblings??

My MIL has been just like that ever since FIL passed away. They way she blows-off her family... he must be rolling over in his grave. She is so clueless to the fact that she is hurting her kids and grandkids feelings (and she is very immature and insecure so you can't say anything to her)

For example, we tell her something is coming up like DD's birthday party next month, and she won't put in for it off at work b/c she is afraid to ask (she works at a big box retailer part-time). If her boyfriend has something going on with his family and she is invited, the world comes to a complete standstill, she will even call work at the last minute that she can't come. We live 15 minutes from her and did not see or get a phone call from her once during the entire Summer of 2008!

I won't go into more details but lets just say I will never, ever, ever invite her to a vacation ever again. Ironically we do at least one vacation per year with my parents and DH is always inviting them over for coffee, etc!

 

[Mom2SamandJames]

My MIL isn't speaking to us right now because we went to Disney and didn't offer to take she and FIL. We couldn't afford anyone else this time. She is the type to be all controlling or she doesn't participate. She called me before each of my sons' birthdays and told me what dates I was holding their parties. When I balked, and told her I would be having them when we chose to have them, she refused to come and didn't even send them a present. My MIL doesn't work outside the home so she doesn't need to ask off. She just wants to control everything our family does.

Last time we went to visit them, my sons wouldn't have anything to do with her because they never see her, and my DS4 was still upset she didn't bother coming to his birthday party. Now my SIL's kids get a daily phone call from her, and they get mail from her every week. My kids don't get anything. She wonders why my kids aren't really excited about seeing her....Well DUH! It is sad when a 4 year old can tell you that his grandma loves his cousins more than him.

I feel your pain, but be thankful she isn't going on your trip. My MIL and FIL showed up at our hotel at Disney before we had children claiming we had invited them along. We were stuck with them the whole trip paying for all their meals too because they "forgot" to bring their money.