Anyone go to another country (China) for a long term work assignment?

[Hillbeans]

DH was just told today that he could be going to Asia for a long-term work assignment - possibly 3 weeks a month for the next few months or even as much as the whole summer.

We have two school-aged children and I just started working a new PT job that I like. I am of course very, very excited for this opportunity for DH as it really is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but it'd be very hard not having him for a large part of this summer. There is also a small opportunity we (the family) could be invited as well for a visit which i've really not wrapped my head around yet. I'd like DH to go first, for 2 weeks and come back first before making a decision about us coming for part of that time.

Anyway, has anyone here done this or had a spouse who did? Please, i'd love to hear all about it. TIA

 

[Magic Mom]

DH was just told today that he could be going to Asia for a long-term work assignment - possibly 3 weeks a month for the next few months or even as much as the whole summer.

We have two school-aged children and I just started working a new PT job that I like. I am of course very, very excited for this opportunity for DH as it really is a once in a lifetime opportunity, but it'd be very hard not having him for a large part of this summer. There is also a small opportunity we (the family) could be invited as well for a visit which i've really not wrapped my head around yet. I'd like DH to go first, for 2 weeks and come back first before making a decision about us coming for part of that time.

Anyway, has anyone here done this or had a spouse who did? Please, i'd love to hear all about it. TIA

DH was stationed in Korea for a year (without us) and also in Germany for a year (without us). We were in Germany for three years as a family. It is a challenge to have one person gone, but it is doable. It's best if you try to keep rules and routines as stable as possible. Don't change how things run just because dad is gone. Have the kids help you with the extra chores, but don't tell them that you are relying on them to step into Dad's shoes. That's too much pressure. Keep Dad involved in discipline and decision making. The internet, Skype and cell phones make that fairly easy. Help the kids pass the time by making paper chains to mark off the days. Have the kids think of one fun thing they did each day to put on that day's paper chain ring. You can send a flat stanley with dad so he can send pictures of flat stanley in dad's room and office and sight seeing.

I think that the leaving...returning....leaving.....returning thing will be a big challenge (maybe even more than just going for the whole time). But if you keep the routine steady it shouldn't be too bad.

 

[golfgal]

Dh used to travel like that, just in the states but he could be gone for a week before the kids knew he was gone-he worked pretty long hours too.

I have a friend that is in Switzerland right now. Her DH started working over there 2 summers ago and brought their then going into 8th grade daughter. The DD LOVED it there and didn't want to come back so mom and their son moved over there for this school year. She is having a blast and I would LOVE to have that opportunity. Is there a possibility of moving your family there for the assigned time? I know my friend's DH's company is paying for all of their added expenses there (housing, food, travel, etc.).

 

[gabrismom]

When I was 12 I moved to Hong Kong with my family from NY. I lived there until I was 18. Then my parents lived in many different Asian countries for the next 20 years. (Infact they are currently living in Thailand.) I cannot speak with authority regarding your spouse being gone but I can say that if you have the opportunity to take your children to Asia over the summer I would highly recommend it. My time and travels in Asia when i was younger were incredible. The things they will be able to experience while you are there will be so different from many things their classmates experience this summer. Which country is your Dh going to go to?

 

[mickeyboat]

Well, it's not exactly the same but DH has been working out of town four days a week for a couple of months, and I expect it to continue through the summer.

I hate it. Just when we get used to him being gone, he comes home and disrupts our routine. I miss him a lot, don't get me wrong, but it's hard having him gone and it's hard having him here.

I think it is hard for him, too because he gets used to the peace and quiet and only really worrying about himself, and then comes home to chaos!

I have been relying on friends to help get the kids to their activities, and they are lifesavers!

Good luck!

Denae

 

[GJM]

DH was just in Kuwait for a year - the time seem to go by pretty fast. I also work PT. We used Skype to talk on the computer with the webcam. It was hard for my DS but we had our routine and he did pretty well - he had his moments of when he would get really upset.

 

[Hillbeans]

Just bumping this as DH leaves for China this weekend for a month, back for a few days around the 4th of July, then gone for another Month....

He is really excited and we're trying to get everything taken care of before he goes. There is a chance I will be allowed to go with the children, but will have to wait and see how it all plays out. I just started a new job a few weeks ago and obviously don't have vacation time yet.

 

[4under4]

If you have the opportunity to go, GO! You and your kids will have an amazing adventure that you will never forget!

DH was sent to China (Beijing) for a 2 year assignment a couple years after we were married (no kids yet.) I had to wait until about the 3 month mark to join him. Yes, the separation was hard, but it was worth it. If either of us were offered a job there again, we would be packing our 4 kids in a flash.

As for your job, no matter what it is, it can't beat overseas experience on a resume (and yes, you can include that experience in the cover letter even if you don't actually work while you're there). Any employer would see it as a huge plus, and even your current employer should understand the desire to keep the family together as much as possible. If your DH's assignment is extended, the Expatriate schools (sometimes referred to as "embassy schools"), are really wonderful and will have children from all over the world attending.

Finally, if you go, even for a short visit, please try to learn about the culture, language, customs, etc. beforehand. It is a very different place, with different norms, and while it's easy to make mistakes, it's also easy to avoid many of them with a little preparation.

I could ramble for several pages, but I'll stop for now. Please feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions.


Good luck!

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

First, Congrats to your husband for this awesome experience.

I’m not a spouse, I was however a child in a similar situation…

When I was between the ages of 3 and 8, my dad would be gone periodically for work. The hardest part for me was the coming and going. When he was gone, I missed him dearly, but just as I was getting used to him being gone, he’d come home, then leave again. (Just something to think about when your kids have to deal with this).

My dad hasn’t traveled for work in a long time, and even though he was gone a lot for those years, we were (and still are) very close.

Also, don’t forget to keep in touch. As others have said, with all this great technology, it is easier than ever.

 

[Meriweather]

My DH is in China right now.
He goes for 2-3 weeks about 4 times a year.
He really likes it there....although very hot and humid right now.
I haven't gone, maybe sometime.