The Passing of Time in Real Life
If there is one constant in life, it is that time continues down that one-dimensional linear march with no regard for anything. Time …. that creation of man …. which marks momentous events in history, in life; and as a temporal measurement of this universe, we just carve out our own linear path accordingly with one eye back towards history and one eye fixed towards the future.
In my reality, I mark time by the anniversaries of my life and by the growth of my child. And if it weren’t for the fact that my DS grows taller and is heading towards teenage years, I would hardly notice the passing of time. Afterall, what are anniversaries but yet another celebration to have more food?
I don’t know about you but despite being slightly less than middle age, I still feel like a young chickadee inside. And my internal mirror reflects a young chickadee should I feel the urge to gaze at myself.
This week…my concept of time was challenged and I am still pulling together and digesting the kaleidoscope of pieces that appeared before me on a night this week.
The back story?
About 4 months ago, a very nondescript sealed envelope appeared in my mail box. It was hand delivered and felt and looked no different to a standard letter you would receive in the mail. Except….this envelope was to contain an inkling of the passage of time. It contained an invitation to an old school reunion of so many years that I had to pause and think if the numbers were indeed correct. I have attended previous reunions in the past but this one….this one was one that I did contemplate a non-show. Afterall, I had been the newest kid in the playground after all the sides had been picked.
Okay….I was an awkward, geeky kid who had quite a few corners that went bump without needing anything solid to hit. Plus coming to the school late as a new migrant to my adopted country and not really understanding the culture, I always felt out of place at that school.
I seriously thought of not attending and ignored the invitation for quite some time. In the end, curiosity got the better of me.
This week was reunion week and here’s my kaleidescope.
The room was filled with faces from the past.
Faces that I recognized, faces half-remembered from a time I barely understood.
Faces that I didn’t remember but with names that teased the mind, fluttering in the distant like the words of a half-remembered song.
Did I feel happy?
Did I feel sad?
I really couldn’t tell this early in the night.
The faces might have been familiar but the beings behind the faces were not.
I circled the room….
How are you? What are you doing? Are you married? Do you have kids?
Brief conversations with beings that provided responses to the questions asked.
Some unheard bell sounds….change partners….more circling.
But what of the fabric of life? The day to day events, the back stories behind the moments of time that mark your marriage, your kids, your job changes……
How does one share that fabric of life….that is the essence of one’s being. These are the events that shape your character, your soul. How do you share a lifetime of memories in 30 seconds?
Some unheard bell sounds….change partners….more circling.
Reality filters through the surreal.
I am in the conversation but still on the outer. To these women, these girls….I remain the awkward, geeky kid from school.
Reality filters through the surreal.
My perception of myself is that to these women, these girls…..I remain the awkward, geeky kid from school.
My perception.
My perception changes. I remain the awkward, geeky kid from school because that’s what I think I am to these women, these girls!
My perception shatters.
Some unheard bell sounds….change circling….more partners.
Two women, these women walk up to me. One face I remembered, one name I remembered.
How are you? What are you doing? Are you married? Do you have kids?
Change perception. Change response.
I attempt to share a lifetime of memories rather than the events.
Connections form, we hang out for the rest of the evening.
Phone numbers are exchanged.
They ask….How soon can we meet up again for a proper catch-up?
My perception shatters.
These two women, who I remember as the quiet girls in my class, may well have asked the question that will heal some hurts of that awkward, geeky girl.
About 30% of the school mates were at the reunion. Quite a few decided not to show; a point I will remember for the next one.
Everyone was at least 20 lbs heavier than I remembered. Some had aged well; others looked older than their age.
The noise level was pretty loud last night and I could barely hear anyone speak. Looks like a hearing aid might be in order at the next reunion.
Despite us “not quite middle aged”, we had a grandmother in the group and another with a 4 month old baby. I’m not sure which demographic is worse!
Sadly, despite us “not quite middle aged”, two girls from school are no longer with us. Cancer does not discriminate and there but the grace of God could be anyone of us.
Sufficient time has passed from when I was last at school with these women to now for me to realize that any playground hurts I might have experienced are now long since forgotten.
I ended up spending over 3 hours at the joint; far longer than I would have thought before I walked in.
My two ex-school mates and I have plans to catch-up before the end of the year. It is astounding to me….but I AM looking forward to it.
......I need some vellum background!
I don't know aput Bengals but a friend of mine has an ocicat (I think that is what the little hurricane is called) and that little spotty tornado is a whirling dervish 
She paid a fortune for her and they love her to pieces but that little thing has more energy than all of the rest of their animals combined!!!!!!!!!!!
