Anyone feel guilty about leaving the kids?

[HeatherC]

Hi - My dh and I are all booked for 9 days in May. I'm so excited...but I feel a little (only a little) guilty about leaving my 3 kids behind. We went on a cruise last Feb. by ourselves, and they were fine with Grandma and Grandpa. But...for some reason doing Disney without them is a little harder. Of course, I'll get over the guilt. Just wondering if anyone else has left the munchkins behind? I keep telling myself that I am doing another scouting mission for our next "family" trip there. How's that for justification in my own mind!
HeatherC

 

[Desnik]

If you don't mind me asking, why are you leaving your kids behind?

Personally I would not be able to go to Disney without my kids. While contimplating taking the Disney Cruise this year, we thought about not taking the baby because we wanted some adult time and DD would be fine in the kids clubs but I wouldn't feel comfortable with DS being in the nursery on the ship. We decided against that. I can't leave him behind!

I don't think you should feel guilty if you and DH are getting to spend needed alone adult time together! Besides you are not leaving them behind with strangers! They will be with their grandparents whom I'm sure will be spoiling them while your gone!

 

[Jordan's MOM]

DH and I take long week-end trips together alone, but we have made a vow to DS that we won't go to WDW with out him. (at least until he is past the age of wanting to be with mom and dad anywhere).

I just do not think I could enjoy myself there without him. Sure there are times when we are there that I would love a night or two alone, but I know the years of kids at WDW will pass too quickly.

We do belive in time alone away but we limit it to 4 days and try to pick places that we would not enjoy as a family.

However, what works for one family does not work for everyone. You have to do what you are comfortablewith. Plenty of parents have went to WDW without the kids and the kids did survive!


Jordan's mom

 

[ChiTownZee]

I would fear for our lives if we left DD home while we went to WDW....I'm proud of what a WDW nut she is at 6 and don't think she'd take to kindly to us going without her, let alone for 9 days. I do look forward to going just the two of us again someday though, we haven't been to pleasure island for almost 9 years, when we got engaged.

 

[GoofItUp]

I don't have kids so I am not going to interject too much here and I certainly will not pass judgment, but 9 days seems like a long time to be away from your kids even if they are at grandma and grandpa's. I kept my 2 cousins (age 8) for 7 days while my aunt and uncle took a cruise in December. I know by the end of that time they were really wanting to see their mom and dad. And their little sister (4) who stayed at our grandparents house cried the last several days she was there because she missed her parents. As Jordan's mom said, you'll have to judge what works for your family, though.

 

[luvmy2sams]

DH & I are taking an "adults only" Disney trip in December, and while I'm sure we'll have a LITTLE guilt, it won't be enough to call off the trip. Have fun and enjoy yourselves! The kids are going to be with grandma and grandpa. If these grandparents are like the ones my kids have, they'll hardly miss you at all. Bring them back a great souvenir and all will be fine!

 

[Wily Wily]

...in March 2000 and surprised DW with a week at WDW. Limited budget allowed us to stay at ASM which we enjoyed - we weren't in the room much anyway. That was my first trip to WDW and I really wanted to enjoy it without children for the first time. Plus, IMHO the kids were too young at that point in time (2 and 6mos.). We have made reservations in Oct. 2004 for 9 days at POFQ - children included. Boy are they excited.
The worst part of the 2000 trip was flying w/o the kids - made me feel uneasy.

 

[babygarrettsmom]

Nope! Going this weekend without him! Just don't tell them that is where you are going - LIE!!! When my ds (2 at the time) found out we were going in December, he refused to go to Daycare because he was sure we were going right then without him. It was a struggle for the month or so before we went. In January, it was just ds and I visiting my parents who had a timeshare. After we got to their 'hotel', we got in their van to go to the parks. Somehow, that little brat already knew where we were going! He talks about those trips all the time and he would be absolutely crushed if he found out we went without him. So, we aren't going to tell him.

OK, OK, I know - never lie to your kids. It teaches them that it's OK. But..........

It's my anniversary and Orlando is the closest and easiest place to go. So........ I uhmmmmm, uhmmmm, lied.

 

[crazywig]

we went for 5 nights without ds who was 19m at the time.....and i would do it again!

i am a firm believer in child-less vacation time, it helps us to reconnect as partners

however, i don't think i could do 9 nights.

 

[beattyfamily]

I'm all for some parent-only time too but it wouldn't be at WDW for us and it probably wouldn't be more than 4 or 5 nights. Probably more like a long weekend.

I would feel too much guilt leaving them for a Disney trip. We've had 5 wonderful Disney trips with them since they were 1 years old; they would be so hurt if we didn't bring them. It just wouldn't feel right for us.

 

[pnelson]

I could do a vacation without my son-I just couldn't do Disney. I would miss him too much there, and like someone else said, the years when he is with us are short. He is 10 now and has already said he wants to try some other place besides Disney.

 

[KLAIT]

I did it once...never again...although my DS (4) stayed home with DH and I went with a friend for 5 nights. I felt so guilty that DH, DS and myself went 9 months later for 10 nights. I really needed the time away, but 5 nights was a long time for both of us.

 

[HeatherC]

I love hearing everyone's thoughts on the subject. I, too, have a hard time leaving my kids. Especially since I'm a stay at home mom and with them ALL the time. Sometimes, I think I feel more guilt than if I left them each day to go to work. That's because none of us are used to it as much.

But I guess I should explain that it really is more like a week...we leave late Friday night and will be home early the following Sunday morning.

We did a week away last Feb. and they had a ball. Of course, we all missed each other by the end. But it was wonderful for my dh and I to really reconnect again as a couple and not MOM AND DAD.

Another thing is that my kids are 7,5 and 2. The oldest two will be in school all week....grammy and grampy are coming to our house so they will still have their security and routines. The youngest has the easiest time separating from me out of all three. And she will be going to Toddler Time, Playgroup, and Gymboree to keep her busy.

Plus....we were all there for 11 days this past November as a family. We had an awesome time and will probably go back again next year. So it's not like they haven't been able to have fun at Disney too. This was our 3rd family trip in a year and a half!

Surprisingly, the older two have no problem with us going to Disney without them.

So...I will still feel kind of guilty....but I'm going and gonna have fun with my best friend....DH.

Love these boards....great to hear different viewpoints!

 

[Jackie824]

Its really an individual decision. As you see there are many thoughts on this matter.
For me, I could never go to Disney without my kids...They are 9 and 4 and love it just as much as me. We have never gone on vacation at all without our kids. The way I look at it, soon enough they will be grown up and moving out. I figure by then me and my husband have all the time in the world to travel by ourselves. For now, where we go, the kids go

 

[Julia M]

Have a great time.

These are definitely the kind of decisions that are personal to each family.

We won't do WDW without the kids, at least until they're alot older, but we live in CA....much too far to travel for a shorter trip. We tried to do DL without the kids, for dh's birthday, but that was right after 9/11, and I didn't feel comfortable going ANYWHERE without my kids.

I'm jealous. We have a trip planned in Aug, but I'd love an adult trip, also.

Julia

 

[shelleyz]

I know how you feel, I'm a stay at home mom too. I'm always with my kids. I need a break once in a while. DH and I were there 2 weeks ago without DS3 and DS4. We left on Monday and came back on Friday. Nana came and stayed at our house with the boys. I told them where we were going and at first they didnt want us to go and I kinda felt bad but we talked about it and they were fine with it. We took them in October for 8 days and told them they would go again. I called home everyday to talk to them and brought them back lots of gifts. Go and have a great time.

 

[AreWeThereYet]

The first trip DW and I took to WDW was alone - and it was an absolute blast. We moved from CA (near Disneyland) to GA a couple years before this trip and we had been wanting to do something special for our anniversary. We chose Disney and had an absolute blast. We made sure to call home to talk to the girls (who stayed with family friends) every day, and we made sure to bring them some treats so they didn't feel like we forgot them.

The BEST thing about the trip was the time alone to play and act like kids again ourselves. With younger (now teenage) children it was difficult to make that time, but we took advantage of the opportunity and don't regret it one bit.

Now we go every year with the girls (and new baby soon) and have a blast.

so - GO FOR IT!! and don't look back. You'll have a great time!

-AWTY

 

[HappyLawyer]

i have a 7 year old and was planning on having another but i decided for me i would not want to take a little one to the park and i would feel guilty for leaving the baby so i postponed my pregnancy i know it sounds strange until after our vacation and then i wont return to disney until the new baby is 4 so i would feel guilty but im a big sap

 

[Mom of 6]

My first trip to WDW is tommorow. After reading all these comments about parents going alone, and planning a baby around a WDW vacation, I am very curious as to the power this place has on people. There must be something about WDW that makes people very happy, or is it the escape of fantasy?

It sounds crazy, selfish and sad to go to WDW without your young children.

Maybe after I experience it for myself, in less than 24 hrs. I will understand better.

 

[JenBlaze]

I absolutely disagree that it's a bad thing to go without your kids.

I have two small daughters, and I know without a doubt that to be a good parent, you and your SO have to have a good relationship. And to do that, sometimes you have to get away from those kids that you love so much. You need time for YOU and your SO.

And it's wonderful to go to a place that makes you feel like a kid again.

So yes, you should go without the kids, and you should have FUN. When you get back, you'll be refreshed, and it'll only strengthen your relationship with your SO and your kids.

And shame on you to those people who are insinuating that leaving the kids is irresponsible parenting.