pjlla
DIS Legend
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2003
- Messages
- 11,654
Just need to vent a bit.....
As I have mentioned in the last few months, I was making three memorial albums for my nephews about their aunt (my SIL's sister) that died 11/05. She was only 46 and very close the boys.
My SIL knew I was working on these books and gave me the photos and a few brief stories behind the pictures. I made three almost identical books (all by hand... real paper, not digital) and used MOST of the photos I was given. I presented these books to the boys last week on vacation, along with a brand new journaling pen for them to write their own memories of time with their aunt (I included space on almost every 2 page LO for them to write).
After looking at the albums, DSIL decided she wanted to make a "few changes". To start with, she gave me some incorrect pictures (like two photos of her sister's car that actually weren't her sister's car!! and I had worked HARD to incorporate the stupid car because it was important to her sister and to the boys!!) And another photos of one of the boys as a baby with the aunt.... it was labeled with the wrong child's name.... so it ended up on an "auntie and me" page that was supposed to be just about one particular child! So anyhow, I could understand needing to change those pages, and I offered to help (I had brought lots of scrapping stuff along on vacation). And I offered to help her make a few of her own pages to add to the end of the album. But it didn't stop there.
She wanted to "add" photos here and there on pages I had already finished. And no matter how hard I "hinted" that I would rather not mess with a finished page, I KNEW that if I didn't help her, she would do it on her and a possibly RUIN the page (trying to move around things that were glued down, etc). I ended up removing (THANK GOD for Undu) photos and embellishments from several pages and either moving them or cropping them down so that she could "add" extra photos, etc. I thought I would go NUTS by about Wednesday. She made two one page LOs (with a bit of help from me) and plunked them in the middle of the book!! So much for the carefully chosen order of photos!
But after a bit of thinking and some praying I came to peace with her "revisions". I know that she wishes she could have done something like this for the boys (and herself) and she is just not a scrapper (or a crafter in any way) and I think it made her feel really good to be able to put a bit of herself into these books. If it makes her feel that they are more "special" , then perhaps the boys will think that they are more special also, and that is really what counts. It was REALLY hard to feel okay about this, but I think I do. Thank GOD I had my mother there to vent to when I was feeling really ticked off! But I admit, I cringe at the thought of her showing this to any of her friends who scrap and what they will think of "MY" scrapping technique!
Just wanted to share my story with folks who can understand! So any similar stories out there?.......................P
ETA: I really do LOVE my SIL.... she is the sister I never had. She is a fabulous person and my kids adore her (especially my DD). My aggravation over this doesn't change my love for her in any way!
As I have mentioned in the last few months, I was making three memorial albums for my nephews about their aunt (my SIL's sister) that died 11/05. She was only 46 and very close the boys.
My SIL knew I was working on these books and gave me the photos and a few brief stories behind the pictures. I made three almost identical books (all by hand... real paper, not digital) and used MOST of the photos I was given. I presented these books to the boys last week on vacation, along with a brand new journaling pen for them to write their own memories of time with their aunt (I included space on almost every 2 page LO for them to write).
After looking at the albums, DSIL decided she wanted to make a "few changes". To start with, she gave me some incorrect pictures (like two photos of her sister's car that actually weren't her sister's car!! and I had worked HARD to incorporate the stupid car because it was important to her sister and to the boys!!) And another photos of one of the boys as a baby with the aunt.... it was labeled with the wrong child's name.... so it ended up on an "auntie and me" page that was supposed to be just about one particular child! So anyhow, I could understand needing to change those pages, and I offered to help (I had brought lots of scrapping stuff along on vacation). And I offered to help her make a few of her own pages to add to the end of the album. But it didn't stop there.
She wanted to "add" photos here and there on pages I had already finished. And no matter how hard I "hinted" that I would rather not mess with a finished page, I KNEW that if I didn't help her, she would do it on her and a possibly RUIN the page (trying to move around things that were glued down, etc). I ended up removing (THANK GOD for Undu) photos and embellishments from several pages and either moving them or cropping them down so that she could "add" extra photos, etc. I thought I would go NUTS by about Wednesday. She made two one page LOs (with a bit of help from me) and plunked them in the middle of the book!! So much for the carefully chosen order of photos!
But after a bit of thinking and some praying I came to peace with her "revisions". I know that she wishes she could have done something like this for the boys (and herself) and she is just not a scrapper (or a crafter in any way) and I think it made her feel really good to be able to put a bit of herself into these books. If it makes her feel that they are more "special" , then perhaps the boys will think that they are more special also, and that is really what counts. It was REALLY hard to feel okay about this, but I think I do. Thank GOD I had my mother there to vent to when I was feeling really ticked off! But I admit, I cringe at the thought of her showing this to any of her friends who scrap and what they will think of "MY" scrapping technique!
Just wanted to share my story with folks who can understand! So any similar stories out there?.......................P
ETA: I really do LOVE my SIL.... she is the sister I never had. She is a fabulous person and my kids adore her (especially my DD). My aggravation over this doesn't change my love for her in any way!
I know if someone started making changes to one of my albums, I would be fit to be tied but don't let your SIL adding her two cents after the fact get to you. I know easier said than done, but the most importantly thing is the boys have a cherished album of their Mom that they know you created. 
