Anyone else's public school student asked to sign a chastity pledge at school?

[missypie]

DD12 (6th grade) is having sex ed at school. This is a Texas public school so they are teaching an abstinence curriculum. She comes home every night and has to INTERVIEW me about issues....I keep waiting for some questions that get WAY too personal but so far so good.

Last night we talked about abstinence. She signed an abstinence pledge. Does this only happen at public school only in the Bible belt? I'd love for her to stay chaste until she is married but aren't there parents out there for whom this is not a big deal? I think 12 is a bit to young to tell a child that maybe if they aren't married by 35, they may break their pledge.

Here's one funny thing: One interview question was, "How will you as a parent help me keep my chastity pledge?" I said, "I'll send you to a convent." The innocent little thing actually wrote that down-I had to tell her it was a joke!

 

[Acklander]

Last night we talked about abstinence. She signed an abstinence pledge. Does this only happen at public school only in the Bible belt? I'd love for her to stay chaste until she is married but aren't there parents out there for whom this is not a big deal? I think 12 is a bit to young to tell a child that maybe if they aren't married by 35, they may break their pledge.

I haven't seen the chastity pledge in our schools but have heard about them on some of the talk shows (maybe the view???). Do they also have the chastity balls where the dad's bring their virgin daughters all dressed up to a dance?
Personally, I find the whole thing offensive. I think that decisions on when and how a person is going to become sexually active should not be covered in a contract signed by a 12 year old. It's something 2 people in a loving relationship discuss, and is a personal decision. If someone decides to remain a virgin until they get married, more power to them, but I don't think it should give them any type of bragging rights or makes them special in any way.
And while I would never tell my kids how to run their sex life (again, I think it's a personal decision) I would secretly be disappointed if they decided to wait until marriage to be intimate with the person who they were choosing to spend the rest of their life with.
I think the chastity pledges are ridiculous, and if my kid came home with a questionaire asking my opinion, I don't think the school would much like my answers LOL

 

[missypie]

I haven't seen the chastity pledge in our schools but have heard about them on some of the talk shows (maybe the view???). Do they also have the chastity balls where the dad's bring their virgin daughters all dressed up to a dance?
Personally, I find the whole thing offensive. I think that decisions on when and how a person is going to become sexually active should not be covered in a contract signed by a 12 year old. It's something 2 people in a loving relationship discuss, and is a personal decision. If someone decides to remain a virgin until they get married, more power to them, but I don't think it should give them any type of bragging rights or makes them special in any way.
And while I would never tell my kids how to run their sex life (again, I think it's a personal decision) I would secretly be disappointed if they decided to wait until marriage to be intimate with the person who they were choosing to spend the rest of their life with.
I think the chastity pledges are ridiculous, and if my kid came home with a questionaire asking my opinion, I don't think the school would much like my answers LOL

Lots of the girls around here get chastity rings-like little engagement rings. However, I think lots of that is done at the evangelical churches-not at school. But I bet that several parents answered the question about how we can help them keep their pledge with "We'll buy you a chastity ring."

I'm assuming that all the parents had their kid sign the pledge, just so they wouldn't be "different" at school. Plus, DD is still at the age where she still thinks we can tell her what to do, when to date,etc. I'm not ready to get to the conversation about the decisions she must make herself...I'll save that for a few years!

 

[harleyquinn]

I think it sounds like a great way to get the families talking to each other, but signing a pledge is a little much.

I vaguely remember something like that when I was in school, but I know it was NBD.

 

[BelleBoo&AmisMum]

DS11 will be getting sex ed in the spring. If anyone asks him to sign something like this there will be hell to pay, and they'll probably have to scrape me off the roof.

 

[dodgeman]

DS11 will be getting sex ed in the spring. If anyone asks him to sign something like this there will be hell to pay, and they'll probably have to scrape me off the roof.

Why would that upset you?

 

[NMAmy]

I would opt my child out of an abstinence only sex ed class and continue teaching her myself. They would not like my answers when she interviewed me and I would be livid if they asked my 12 yo to sign a chastity pledge.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

If my (hypothetical) daughter wanted to sign a chastity pledge, I'd let her. If she wanted to refuse to sign a chastity pledge I'd support her. But the plain fact is that she shouldn't ever be asked to do it, especially by people in authoritative positions...like her teachers.

 

[lilyv]

They've certainly left the door wide open with allowing a public school to be used as a place where 12 year olds are encouraged/coerced to sign pledges.

What's really to stop any group coming in and demanding their right to have their issue aired, and paperwork for a commitment ceremony to their cause available?
The list could be endless. A couple of examples:

Why can't those who are opposed to divorce, mandate the kids to sign an intent (should they ever decide to marry) to stay married?

Why can't those who are concerned about teenage pregnancy give out paperwork where the students can pledge to be good users of birth control?


I think schools should concentrate on education, period. Give the kids and parents the exact same info on the biology unit that is taught, and call it a day.

Leave the pledges/commitments/promise rings to private groups, churches, or parents.

 

[BelleBoo&AmisMum]

Why would that upset you?

When my children become sexually active is not for the school to decide, nor is it their place to have my children agree to something and sign it that we as a family do not agree with.

I prefer to teach my children sexual responsibilty, being safe and careful when they choose to become sexually active. I would prefer they wait until they're old enough and mature enough to handle the choice they've made, but I'm going to make sure they have the information and protection needed.

 

[ChristmasElf]

I have told my children repeatedly that they are never to sign ANYTHING in school, except for tests or school assignments.
If they get sent to the office for any reason, they are to call me before anything gets signed.

 

[Kath2003]

Wow, how can a 12 year old be asked to sign that kind of pledge? Most 12 year olds have barely hit puberty - how can they be asked to sign a pledge without knowing the war of emotions and hormones they're going to come against in sticking to it?

If a 12-year old isn't old enough to decide that they want to have sex, how are they old enough to decide that they don't want to have sex until they are married and document that for the next 6 or more years of their life?

Plus - who needs something written on a piece of paper? Sex is between the two individual's involved, not some document printed by the school

But then I think abstinence-education is naive. Telling them that saying no is the only 100% safe option is of course the smart thing to do, but for the huge number of teens who don't make it to marriage before they have sex, they need to know how to have sex safely.

 

[akhenaten]

no. they have signed a pledge to be drug free ....

I don't think the school should have them sign any pledges really.

 

[missypie]

Wow, how can a 12 year old be asked to sign that kind of pledge? Most 12 year olds have barely hit puberty - how can they be asked to sign a pledge without knowing the war of emotions and hormones they're going to come against in sticking to it?

Yeah, that's why I think it's all sort of in the category of "waste of time" (versus "harmful"). DD is past the point where she thinks all boys are gross, but she certainly doesn't want any of them to TOUCH her! Last year I had a sex talk with her. When I got to the part about what happens to the guy when he's aroused, she just laughed and laughed and laughed.

 

[eclectics]

If that's what the public schools in Texas have you do, I wonder what the parochial schools do? Chastity belts?

 

[missypie]

no. they have signed a pledge to be drug free ....

I don't think the school should have them sign any pledges really.

I guess the folks pushing these programs must have some statistics regarding the success rate of early intervention, but I have to wonder. Our schools have "Red Ribbon Week" where there's this big week long anti-drug promotion. Grade schools have anti-drug pep rallies. I wonder if that has ANY lasting effect on them once they hit high school or beyond.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I would opt my child out of an abstinence only sex ed class and continue teaching her myself. They would not like my answers when she interviewed me and I would be livid if they asked my 12 yo to sign a chastity pledge.

I'm with you.

 

[Crankyshank]

I would opt my child out of an abstinence only sex ed class and continue teaching her myself. They would not like my answers when she interviewed me and I would be livid if they asked my 12 yo to sign a chastity pledge.

I totally agree! ho boy - there would be some serious hell to pay.

 

[Pigeon]

I would opt my child out of an abstinence only sex ed class and continue teaching her myself. They would not like my answers when she interviewed me and I would be livid if they asked my 12 yo to sign a chastity pledge.

This exactly. I would be in the principal's office so fast, I'd set the floor on fire.

Why, oh why, do schools continue to waste everyone's time with programs that simply do not work? We are currently keeping our 10 year old out of DARE.

 

[Passions71203]

When my children become sexually active is not for the school to decide, nor is it their place to have my children agree to something and sign it that we as a family do not agree with.

I can see that this thread will be a heated debate, why would any family not want to teach their children about abstinence??