Anyone Else's In-Laws send them less gift $$ than than your spouse?

[kyra's mommy]

My IL's usually give us nothing but this year they gave dh $75 and me $50 ( our bdays are two weeks apart so it's noticeable for us as well ). That doesn't really bother me but one year for Christmas they gave my SIL $75 and me $50. That really ticked me off! My parents are very equal, they buy us gifts and whatever they spend they make sure it's the same.

 

[roscoepc1]

Am I the only person who thinks that it is a GIFT and it is a little tacky to even start this thread

No one has to "give" anyone anything.

I am truly amazed at this thread

No one is saying that, I don't think (unless I missed a post)....people are just relating their personal experiences! It's just a time-passer, and giggle-giver thread!

 

[eeyorethegreat]

Well Dh parents don't acknowledge his birthday so it is no surprise that they don't acknowledge mine

 

[Friendly Frog]

I am just shocked by how much some people receive...and for a birthday...wow.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Yep. We've been married for almost twenty years. For the first ten, dh would get a small box in his stocking with money in it. I didn't get any. Now, she gives me money, too, but it's always about half of what she gives dh. For birthdays, too.

Oh, and she always cooks each of us a birthday dinner. Dh and my two sons are asked exactly what they want and she fixes exactly what they ask for (one year my youngest asked for hot dogs, sausage biscuits, and macaroni and cheese and that's what she fixed for everyone). I don't get asked. I'm told what she's going to fix. I just think it's funny.

 

[blessedwith3]

Just wondering if I'm the only one! I've been married for 9 years now, so it's really just kind of amusing to me, but my in-laws always send me less $$ for my birthday than my hubby. DH's birthday is a only a month before mine, so it's not like we don't notice. The kicker is my parents give us both the same amount. I joked to DH today that I should tell my parents to start cutting $5 off of each of his checks . Just wondering if anyone else has in-laws that send you less gift $$ than your spouse. OH, and BTW-- I am grateful for the $$-- just wanted to start a fun thread, so no need for negative Nellies to post! --Katie

Well, this is the one thing about my MIL I can say positively - she gives us both the same amount for our birthdays, but Christmas is a totally different story!! She gives me a few knick-knacks, then I sit and watch my DH open 30 presents ranging from new clothes to $100 bottles of scotch! After 9 years of marriage myself, I just have to laugh. She could at least TRY to make it more even, especially since I'm sitting right there! I honestly don't really care about getting gifts on Christmas - it's really about the kids anyway!

That's really funny about telling your parents to start giving him less!

 

[Evi]

Am I the only person who thinks that it is a GIFT and it is a little tacky to even start this thread

No one has to "give" anyone anything.

I am truly amazed at this thread

Perhaps it is. But its equally tacky to be the manners police.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I dont get anything from IL. BiL sends me a card. I dont have any parents around so nothing from that end either.

 

[seasheller]

My IL are gone now, but they basically only gifted our kids. One year DH got a pair of socks and I got nothing. My birthday is five days before Christmas and one year I got a card with $10 in it. I was thrilled and since we had no money in those days I actually bought myself a dress. When I saw my MIL I thanked her and told her how I had used the money. She didn't say a word, but from the shocked look on her face I realized that I was probably supposed to use the money to buy the kids Christmas presents. (Nothing was ever mentioned to that effect in the card.) It was definitely an awkward moment.

 

[Beezle2]

Oh yes, My birthday is 7 days after my DH's and I get 1/2 of what he does. I just roll with it, I don't have parents of my own so I am happy to be remembered at all.

It's funny though because DH is an email a card kind of guy and I'm the one who updates them on the family and sends a hand made gift at Christmas.

 

[AndreaDM]

Am I the only person who thinks that it is a GIFT and it is a little tacky to even start this thread

No one has to "give" anyone anything.

I am truly amazed at this thread

Nah, it's only tacky if we're all discussing it while sitting in a room WITH all the parents and in-laws. Lighten up!

 

[Swimalie]

My birthday is a week before the grandmother-in-law and 2 weeks before the niece. The first year we were married (and then living 3 blocks from the in-laws) they had my name on the joint cake. That was the only time that happened and we've been married almost 16 years.

As for gifts, I have no clue if my mother-in-law spends as much on me as she does her son. I would guess she doesn't but just thinking of me after the cake deal is nice. My parents do all 4 (2 daughters and their husband's) the same but they have money and my mother-in-law doesn't. My mother-in-law needs to keep her money and not "waste" it on me.

 

[Pastamom]

Once DH and I got married, DH and I were treated equally as far as gifts go. The year before we got married my grandfather accidentally mixed up the money envelopes and DH got mine. We laughed that they liked him more than me.

MIL used to give us equal gifts. Our b-day's are 3 days apart and we used to have his family over to celebrate. A couple years ago, she started giving us money. DH got more and the kicker was he also got some lottery scratch offs in his card. I got none. DH thought there was a mix up - since things had been equal before. She announced infront of the whole family that DH was getting more because he was her son and I wasn't her daughter. IL's and DH tried to let her know how what she said was inappropriate, but she was having none of it. We'd been married 10+ years at the time and have 2 kids so I'm not sure why the change in attitude...

 

[Gigi22]

Yes, it was the standard from my parents, who never gave DH a very large present. On the other hand, my ILs treated us both equally--no presents to either of us, too busy with grandkids to worry about their own kids.

 

[ssawka]

Yep, my parents give me $50 every year. They always ask me what I want, but I usually want some tech thing that the wouldn't have a clue about. For DW birthday, they usually give her a gift between $30-$35.

Personally, I think that is normal. After all, they are not her parents. In fact, when we got married we agreed that we would never refer to the in-laws (either side) as "Mom and Dad". I just never agreed with that.

Anyway, her parents give us both the same, NOTHING! I do remember one year however that DMIL sent me a gift and did not even send DW a card. Maybe DMIL considered it a different year since my birthday is in November and DW's birthday is in January.

 

[rewok]

My parents give DSis & I much bigger presents (really spoiling us) than they do DH or DBIL. Nobody has a problem with that, after all even if they love them, the relationship is not the same. The gifts might be smaller or less quantity, but they're always thoughtful and quality, not just knickknacks however! When my MIL gives us gifts (they're often gone at Christmas time), she gives approximately the same to each, except the time when she wrote a very big cheque to DH, which promptly paid for our elopement/weddingmoon! I don't "expect" a certain gift, so I don't see a problem with discrepancies, as long as everyone gets at least something thoughtful.

 

[aprilgail2]

My parents have never given DH a gift except when I had a b-day party for him. I have never received a gift from my MIL. The only parent that gives equal gifts is my FIL. I think it is nice that they think of you. They give your DH more because he's their son.

Yup. And think that's normal. I''m not their child. Plus I get way more from Mom my then my DH gets from either my mom or his parents.

My wife always got more but I never expected anything from my MIL. I'm surprised that people expect the same.

I don't get why people would think that their in-laws should give them the same as they give their own flesh and blood children!

Am I the only person who thinks that it is a GIFT and it is a little tacky to even start this thread

No one has to "give" anyone anything.

I am truly amazed at this thread

The only one I thought was tacky was the poster that said the husband should take it up with his parents on the OP's behalf--now THAT would be tacky!!!

 

[wishesuponastar]

My inlaws don't give me anything for birthday but MIL does cook a meal for me. She takes DH out to a fancy Italian restaurant for his birthday.
For Christmas, my inlaws give us a combined gift like a gift card to Lowe's.

My parents don't give me or DH a birthday gift just our kids.

 

[crisi]

Am I the only person who thinks that it is a GIFT and it is a little tacky to even start this thread

No one has to "give" anyone anything.

I am truly amazed at this thread

Technically, cash as a birthday gift at all is a "well mannered no-no." But different families have different traditions.

We seldom exchange gifts for birthdays as adults. I can't imagine my mother handing me or my husband cash. For US, that would be really insulting and unnecessary. We have our own income, and my parents have a fixed income.

We usually give my mother in law cash for her birthday and Christmas (different families have different traditions) because her fixed income is a minimal social security check and she can't live off it. Therefore, I get mad at her if she buys me presents - in almost twenty years she hasn't figured me out yet and its like her buying me stuff I don't want with my money

 

[Swimalie]

\
Personally, I think that is normal. After all, they are not her parents. In fact, when we got married we agreed that we would never refer to the in-laws (either side) as "Mom and Dad". I just never agreed with that.

Anyway, her parents give us both the same, NOTHING! I do remember one year however that DMIL sent me a gift and did not even send DW a card. Maybe DMIL considered it a different year since my birthday is in November and DW's birthday is in January.

I've been married for just under 16 years and I still call my mother-in-law Mrs. (last name). She has never asked me to call her anything different so I've continued. You'd think after 16 years, she'd get a clue and ask me to call her by her first name or something like that.