Anyone else know a freaked out flyer?

[dudspizza]

My wife and I had dinner with our neighbor and her kids today. They are going on their first family trip in January, to WDW! Yeah for them. This is where it got interesting.

She was telling us how she can't give up control. She won't let her husband drive anywhere and she is going to get valium for the plane ride because she will freak on the plane. Ok, I understand people get nervous on planes and need some meds, fine. She then proceeds to tell us that her kids are going to freak too and that they will need to be medicated. They have never flown, yet she has already concluded that they will freak.

I tried to tell her that the kids will probably be fine, as long as she is positive about the experience and helps them see everything will be fine. When we got home my wife told me I was being rude by telling her this. I just felt she should not jump to conclusions about how here kids will do on the flight and that they will most likely be fine. She said she was bringing the Benadryl anyways, just in case. Now, if they need it, great that she has it and they have had it before.

I guess I just don't get it. Flying is safe and fun for me. The part I especially don't get is that she already has decided that her kids are not going to enjoy the flight. Makes me glad we are not going with them....

Have a good night.

Duds

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

Wow. I don't think I've ever met anyone who reacted to flying in that manner. Yes, I've met people who are nervous or afraid, but not someone that will "freak" because they "can't give up control."

I don't think what you told her was rude at all. She needs to keep a positive attitude, if not for herself then for her kids. I think it's more likely the kids will freak out because their mother is freaking out rathern than because of the flight itself.

In a way, if she's that much of a "control freak", I wonder if she should even be flying at all (of course, I'm not sure how far the drive is from MN to FL .. 2 days, I'm guessing?). Has she ever flown before? If so, what was that like for her then?

 

[safetymom]

I don't think you were rude. Chances are though that the kids will take note of the mother and then they will be afraid to fly.

That's a shame because air travel is safer than driving and you get there a lot quicker.

 

[tmt martins]

My neice won't fly even for a free trip to the World. But it is due to SiL being a nutcase and putting the fear of if you leave my side I or you might die. I know this is alittle extream but you get the point.

 

[ducklite]

Benadryl can actually cause some kids to become agitated.

Anne

 

[umaangel00]

Personally I also think you were very rude. I do not like being a passenger in a car. That doesn't mean I am not a passenger but I prefer to drive. I will not fly because I already know I will not like it. I love to drive and I don't care that it takes me 24 hours to get to Disney. I love drving the whole way down. For some people it's a matter of control. For me, you may think it is but it's not. I just like driving and I hate being a passenger.

 

[dudspizza]

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

She has flown many, many times and she said she hated it every time. This will be her first trip with her kids. I strongly beleive that the kids will learn from mom. If she is calm and relaxed, they will be too. Like I said, she is going to take valium for the flight, so hopefully that will ease her mood and she can relax. The kids have had Benadryl many times (she is a nurse), so they would be fine. The only worry that I have for the kids sake is that they will be groggy all day the first day. This is a morning flight and they only have 5 total days for this trip. I tried to explain to her that they should not take the Benadryl unless they totally needed it... I just hope she listened..

Happy Monday!

Duds

 

[Keara'sMom]

Just thought I'd throw in my two cents (fwiw).
I'm a very anxious flyer who takes medication to help calm my nerves (ativan works best for me!). That said, I would never, ever let my dd8 see how nervous I get! Instead, I put on a good front for her, and she has never been "freaked" by flying. It helps that my dh is a seasoned air traveler, and he takes over primary kid duty, at least 'til my meds kick in

I don't think you were rude at all, OP. In my mind this mom has a chance to help her kids NOT develop her fears--it's tough for me to think about flying, and I DON'T want that for my daughter!!!

 

[dudspizza]

Just thought I'd throw in my two cents (fwiw).
I'm a very anxious flyer who takes medication to help calm my nerves (ativan works best for me!). That said, I would never, ever let my dd8 see how nervous I get! Instead, I put on a good front for her, and she has never been "freaked" by flying. It helps that my dh is a seasoned air traveler, and he takes over primary kid duty, at least 'til my meds kick in

I don't think you were rude at all, OP. In my mind this mom has a chance to help her kids NOT develop her fears--it's tough for me to think about flying, and I DON'T want that for my daughter!!!

I love your attitude about it. I know people can be anxious, but you handle it the right way IMHO. Thanks for your reply. I hope my neighbor can see this as well. Her husband doesn't mind to fly either, so hopefully he can take care of the kids until her Valium kicks in.....

Have a good day! Cold here in Minnesota! I am not looking forward to standing outside for bus duty at the end of the day!

Duds

 

[kydisneyfans]

You could not get me on a plane if paid money to do so. Control is a part issue-just being that far in the air is what scares me. My father spent 4 years in the Air Force-my wife and mother have flown several times each-but no way for me.

I was scheduled for a flight from Cleveland to Chicago on a small plane for a job interview 8 years ago-I asked ahead of time if they could give me the cash that they would have given for a ticket on the flight, the answer was yes. Upon driving to Chicago, the flight I was scheduled for hit turbulence over Lake Erie and injured 14 people. I see that as fate.

 

[bleeps]

Just reiterating support for you, OP, that you were NOT rude in any way! It was not as though you were denying this woman the right to feel how she felt -- you were simply encouraging her to consider not giving her kids the mind-set/expectation that they, too, would not like flying. I agree that children react primarily to their parents (and/or teachers -- I work in a school); if you set the expectation for behavior ahead of time, then -- good or bad, that's the behavior you're most likely to see. Thanks for being the kind of friend who encourages someone to consider her children in their own light!

 

[Servants of Evan]

I will side with the "You were NOT rude" crowd. I think one of the worst things a parent can do is transfer their irrational fears to their unsuspecting child. Children are amazingly observant, and if a parent is in "freak-out" mode, most likely the child will follow. If the parent can treat air travel as a fun and exciting experience, then that is most likely what the child will come away with. If the kids are old enough to have an interest in how things work, aircraft and the physics of flight (lift/drag) are fascinating. Who knows, maybe they could spark interest in engineering!

I'm also certain a few people reading this will question my calling the fear of flying irrational. Sorry, but when the overall safety records of US Air transport is taken into consideration, irrational is the only thing I can use to describe it. There are many pilots who are complaining because they are hitting manditory retirement age of 60... That means they have been flying SUCCESSFULLY for 35+ years. If airtravel was as dangerous as these people allow their brains to make it, we wouldn't have to worry about retirement age as no pilot would make it that far! Additionally, many pilots are married with wives and children (just like real people!) Something tells me these employees go to work with the reasonable expectation of coming home at night (or the end of their rotation) just like everyone else. Additionally, the same can be said for the First Officer, the Flight Attendants, etc. These people are PROFESSIONALS.

After reading of her "I won't relinquish control" sort of comment, I must also wonder what sort of fun she expects to have at Disney... Will she ride the Tower of Terror (or any other "thrill" ride) since she's not at the helm? My gosh, Jungle Cruise and Pirates of the Carribean run themselves and don't require her input either! Okay, end of sarcasm.

For the poster who stated that it wasn't their fear of flying but rather they simply liked to drive, "Good for you." Likewise, I love to drive and have even tag-teamed the 20 hours straight with no stops other than for gas (I don't care how bad you have to go, if we don't need gas -- we're not stopping)! Unfortunately, my four-year-old hasn't been blessed with that same enthusiasm. Five hours in the car seat and he's ready for something else! As such, I've been working on just how "cool" it is to fly, and hope that enthusiasm does rub off onto him!

 

[jonestavern]

I support your well meant advice to this woman. did you say it in a 'caring' tone of voice?
I too am scared nuts to fly, or drive--the flying thing developed after I was in my late 30's, the driving as a teen involved in several accidents (none my fault, & none disputed).
My dad, a career Navy pilot & uncle, a test pilot, during WW2, both have been involved in crashes--over a 30 year period, everytime no serious injuries or fatalities My uncle owns a private charter company. I have an aunt & cousins who fly--have i heard stories?! they all think driving is much more hazardous
Well, DSnow16 loves to fly because we talked about it in a positive light & got him excited about it before & during.On his 1st flight at 7 yo I glossed over the fact that I might get jumpy(because try as you will to hide your emotions, I believe kids are hyper tuned into a parent) but I got jumpy because I am a nervous type & he is an adventurous person. for many years DS16 actually wanted to be a pilot!(he is unable to due to health issues). He's been up in Hueys & fighter jets--he loves it. I pat myself on the back-
He even loves snakes , so I think I've done a great job not passing on my bothersome fears-

Personally, a couple of stiff Bloody Marys & I develop a much more philosophical attitude!

Jean

 

[Aisling]

If airtravel was as dangerous as these people allow their brains to make it, we wouldn't have to worry about retirement age as no pilot would make it that far!

To the OP, I don't think you were rude, although I wasn't there and don't know your tone of voice when you spoke to her. I know that I'm sensitive to benadryl, and cannot take it as it make me jittery.

As for air travel being safe, my brain knows it is, but it's a feeling that's the problem. My mom won't fly, and I'm always telling her how safe it is, quoting statistics and physics, etc, but she will not get on a plane. And even though I'm rational enough to tell her these things and I believe what I'm telling her, I still have to have a xanax the night before I fly and right before I get on the plane, or else those irratrional fears/feelings rush me and I'm in danger of freaking out. It's something that can't really be explained unless you have had this feeling. Somehow being 30,000 feet in the air is more scary to me than being in a car, where my chances of an accident are greater.

I agree that she should try her very best to keep her fears away from her kids. Even if they don't develop the fear of flying because of her, it'll surely make them insecure that mommy is on the verge of losing it.

Take the meds, mom, but don't give the kids the benadryl. That's what I'd tell her. When she's nice and calm, she won't be worried about her kids possibly freaking out. She'll just enjoy the flight, ot at least the flight won't be a big issue anymore. These anti-anxiety meds are amazing, thank goodness.

 

[dpayne1969]

I flew last Nov. for the first time and i am in my mid 30's.I know flying is safe in my mind but i am afraid of heights.I took Dramamine for motion sickness and i did everything i could so my kids did not see mom freaking out.I was scared and nervous to fly but i am flying again this May.I know on the inside i will be scared and nervous but i will just take my Dramamine for motion sickness and play my Gameboy and try not to think about flying.It was a great experience to be on a plane with my kids for the first time flying for us all!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Just thought I'd throw in my two cents (fwiw).
I'm a very anxious flyer who takes medication to help calm my nerves (ativan works best for me!). That said, I would never, ever let my dd8 see how nervous I get! Instead, I put on a good front for her, and she has never been "freaked" by flying. It helps that my dh is a seasoned air traveler, and he takes over primary kid duty, at least 'til my meds kick in

I don't think you were rude at all, OP. In my mind this mom has a chance to help her kids NOT develop her fears--it's tough for me to think about flying, and I DON'T want that for my daughter!!!

That is exactly my scenario! I am still very nervous about flying, in fact I didn't fly for over 9 years and finally started two and half years ago because I didn't want my kids to grow up to be afraid to experience life and travelling. So we fly a lot now, I still get nervous, hey I'm nervous as we speak as we leave for WDW next Tuesday! But I NEVER let my kids know. I take xanax and it helps some but I just know it is worth it and get on with it. I think for me 9/11 actually motivated me to fly because I wanted to show my kids more than ever we need to live life, enjoy it and not be afraid of what will probably never happen. They are completely calm and have never shown one iota of fear in the air. I envy them! And by the way, I think my fear stems from my mother and growing up seeing how scared she was when we flew. I don't want to do that with my kids. And I don't think the OP was rude at all. It was the well meaning and friendly advice of many friends who helped me see how unrational I was being. And they were right!

 

[kaytieeldr]

You could not get me on a plane if paid money to do so. Control is a part issue-just being that far in the air is what scares me. My father spent 4 years in the Air Force-my wife and mother have flown several times each-but no way for me.

I was scheduled for a flight from Cleveland to Chicago on a small plane for a job interview 8 years ago-I asked ahead of time if they could give me the cash that they would have given for a ticket on the flight, the answer was yes. Upon driving to Chicago, the flight I was scheduled for hit turbulence over Lake Erie and injured 14 people. I see that as fate.

I would never try to convince someone who refused to fly for any reason to get on a plane.

But you do realize that turbulence itself did not injure anybody? Chances are the injured passengers were not wearing seatbelts.

 

[Poohbear123]

And just recently flew TWICE to WDW! I require NO medication, just put my mind to it, its only a 22 min flight from here to Orlando, and I have done it 4 times so far! Its great! I don't know WHY I let my fear becaome a big part of my travel life, but its gone now. If the 'neighbor' feels that she must medicate, than fine, so be it! Whaterver works for her and her kids!

 

[dudspizza]

And just recently flew TWICE to WDW! I require NO medication, just put my mind to it, its only a 22 min flight from here to Orlando, and I have done it 4 times so far! Its great! I don't know WHY I let my fear becaome a big part of my travel life, but its gone now. If the 'neighbor' feels that she must medicate, than fine, so be it! Whaterver works for her and her kids!

I was looking at some flights to MCO on AA from MSP. Some of the flights to MCO had a plane change in Miami. The flight from Miami to MCO was listed as 1 hour 6 minutes. You said 22. Is it really that short? I couldn't believe that it would actually be 1 hour and 6 minutes!

Thanks..
Duds

 

[safetymom]

My flights say 50 mins but I am sure there is a cushion built into that. It also depends on the size of plane you are flying.