Anyone else have this little problem?

[ncmvp]

My son was 12, when he told a couple making out in Epcot, to get a room. I wish I had a leash on him so I could yank him away. The people around him were laughing, I was horrified. We had a good talk about saying things outloud to people you don't know. Sometimes no matter how much you tell your kids what is proper , things do come out of their mouths that can get them in trouble.

People who put their children in harnesses are doing it because they love their children and want to protect them. I see nothing wrong with that. last year we were in AK and there was a family there that had attached a retractable dog leash to their son's belt, I have to say that looked wrong and unsafe to me.

 

[The Sweetness]

Please dont get me wrong! I do not encourage DD to say anything to anyone that could hurt their feelings or piss them off.

(thankfully) she waits until shes away from the person/people who she has something inappropriate to say about, before she says it. She has come a long way in keeping it to herself, until we are in private. I realize now, by reading the responses here, that Im not so sure I like the idea of her judging others at all. I also know, that I want her to feel free to tell me how she feels about absolutely anything. Timing however, is positively key.

BTW, Im glad Ive seen a better word than leash for the equiptment used to keep the shorty's close. Harness makes me feel much better. Thank you all for your opinions

 

[LuvN~Travel]

yep, got a kid like that, my ten year old son. When he sees a smoker, he just HAS to make some kind of comment, and of course he does it in a LOUD stage voice. More than once, I've wanted to sit on him in a restaurant.
We were at Six Flags Saturday, and saw several people smoking in the outside lines. I was just real glad that he kept his mouth shut for once. (Though I felt like saying something occasionally)
Kim

 

[ladydancer]

I am absolutly appalled that people are so stupid. Do they really think parents are putting there children on "leashes" because whey want to be mean to them? I think people ought to think before they speak and use some common sense! It is for the childs safety! Is it being mean for a parent to put a life jacket on a child no matter how uncomfortable it might be? What is the point of the life jacket? So the child doesn't drown. I can't believe I'm even having to explain a safety issue.

We are taking our 5 year old grandson, who looks about 6 or 7 to WDW in Oct. He is autistic and we will have a "lifeline" on him connecting him to us. We cannot hold his hand all day as that would be impossible. Autistic children are in there own little world and he would wander off no matter how hard we try. I'm sure we will get looks, because to look at him he looks like a perfectly "normal" little boy. I will have ID on him as I will with all the grandkids going with us. Although I will have an alert on his that states he is autistic and can't communicate.

No one had better make any comments to me or my family while we are there or they will get an earful.

I hesitate saying people should "mind there own business" because if a child was really in harms way people should get involved. But.....PLEASE USE COMMON SENSE!

 

[The Sweetness]

Originally posted by ladydancer
I am absolutly appalled that people are so stupid.

DD may be highly opinionated, and have something to learn about tact and even knowing when to not say anything until we are in private (she's just a little girl, and is working on learning these things with a little guidance), but she is NOT stupid.

 

[dg39]

From what I read on these posts there was nothing negative said about the "leashes" for children. Aside from 1 comment made from a cm that was "stupid" because he should know better then to pass judgement. While I don't agree that anyone should make a loud, crude comment about someone, its not a question of stupidity when it comes from a childs mouth. The girl is only 12 yrs old, not stupid, and just needs to learn to voice her opinions to herself. When I first read the post from the OP, I did feel that its not right that her daughter says negative things in public and did post it, but in no way would I ever call her or anyone else's child stupid. Doing so would be "stupid" of me...

 

[Madi100]

To be quite honest with you, if I was around someone who had their child on a leash, a girl with her "cheeks" hanging out of her shorts (in or out of the pool) or around someone who I heard making rude comments all of the time, I'd probably be most outraged with the rude comments.

The leash is for a very good reason. I always thought they were horrible until I had my second daughter. I don't know that she has ever walked in her life. It is always RUN. So to take her to WDW was a little bit frightening. I'll let your daughter borrow mine for a day and at the end of the day if she doesn't want a leash for her, I'll give her a reward. We didn't end up using the leash, but I can understand why people do.

The people who walk around with their cheeks hanging out of their shorts are just trying to fit in with the style. Will my children dress like that? Not if their father is still around. I won't allow it either. But, I do see a lot of teenagers who would rather wear little than a lot.

Now the rude comments about other people are just poor manners. I'm not saying your daughter is a rude child. My own children have said rude things in their lives, and I'm sure they will do it again in the future. When I hear it, though, I let them know that it is not acceptible. Treating other people with respect is very important to me.

When I see a parent who yells at a child or spanks them I always try to see that they are at the end of their rope. When my children get raised voices or a swat on the butt (believe me that's all it is. 3DD always says, "That doesn't hut), it is because they have been told more than enough times that their behavior is not acceptible. A lot of times when we see a child getting yelled at, we are seeing only part of it. It amazes me that people think that they can hear a tiny part of a person's life and know that they are not good towards their children.

Bottomline, I wouldn't allow for the rude comments. I'm sure it is a stage, but even at that, it is still rude.

 

[eeyore kelly]

No matter how well we parent and try to instruct our "angels", sometimes their mouths open, and we (as their parents) wish the ground would open up and swallow us. I think sweetness was looking for advice and support. So here's my two cents. When my DS (11) makes ugly comments, I say loud enough for the offended party to hear, "You were not raised to be rude." Nothing makes a tween or teen squirm more that being corrected by their parents in public. The offended party also knows that I am not happy with the childs behavior.

As for giving a strange kid an ear full or embarassing them, I don't agree with that. However if you want to see a kid worry smile sweetly and ask "Where are your parents, dear? I'm sure they would like to hear what you just said." If the parents are with them, give them a second to get over the shock and then look again. Nine times out of ten the child is getting a clenched teeth lecture.

 

[The Sweetness]

Its been a LONG time since DD actually voiced her opinion (right or wrong) other than to me, DH, or a close friend privately. I think the lecture about "whether its right or not, its mean and I dont like it..." has finally sunk in. I do plan on explain a few things to her such as why some people feel that they need s harness for their child, also, that not every child getting swatted on their tush is a victim of child abuse. I think maybe the more extreme cases of child abuse on the news which she hears from time to time have made her overly sensitive to the subject. (also, she has never, ever been physically disciplined)

Thank you all for your advice

 

[lulu71]

First off, let me say that I hope my comments don't come across the wrong way, but really as just a suggestion.

Of course 12-year old kids are going to think things, but bottom line is if they verbalize it, that's just showing disrespect of ADULTS. Sure, little kids will say anything, but at 12 that's another thing altogether. If it were me they were stating their opinion to, I wouldn't say anything and pass it off as just a kid BUT spouting off comments to ADULTS just shows plain lack of respect. Couldn't you use that angle with your DD, that they shouldn't make opinionated comments to adults?

 

[The Sweetness]

As I mentioned before, DD hasnt embarassed me in a while. Maybe as much as 3 years. I just started feeling a little anxiety about this now, because we are likely to run into similar situations next summer at WDW.

I think DD will mind her manners, I was just wondering if anyone else had been embarrassed by their kids in this way, and maybe how they resolved it with their kids. Im just not the back-hand across the mouth kind of mom

 

[frndofpooh]

Whenever my ds says something inappropriate about someone else, we always turn it back on him and ask, "what would you feel if someone said something like that about you?" It still helps put it in perspective for him as he will occasionally speak without thinking (as many children and adults do). Perhaps you could have a heart to heart before your trip and discuss the differences she may see and how to handle her opinions. If she is truly concerned about a child's safety, she could give you a nonverbal signal that you agree upon beforehand. At 12 y/o, to voice her opinion to an adult would be disrespectful. Hope this helps.

 

[NotUrsula]

BTW, since you asked, and since you are planning to explain them to DD, the proper term for the straps on a child safety walking harness is "reins". They are used to guide, not restrain.

Just so DD knows, they have been around for literally hundreds of years, and were especially important in cities prior to the concept of personal automobile ownership.

 

[The Sweetness]

Thanks NotUrsula for the propper term. I will be sure that DD understands. (and also hope that she understands that if a parent is using them then there is most likely a very good reason for them)

 

[DWhittles]

Hi all! I'm a new mommy to my 7 month old son Patrick Jazz.
My hair is bright purple and I have a few tattoos.
When you look like I do, you expect or even welcome the comments.
If I hear a kid make a remark to his or her parents, I try to make a point of going over to that kid and explaining how in our world people are allowed to be individuals and isn't it more fun that no two people look the same?
That he is allowed to make choices of his own (did he pick the shirt he was wearing today? Wouldn't it be dull if he and everyone else in the park was wearing the same shirt because they had to?)
More often than not, the comments make me laugh. (Mommy! That ladies hair is PURPLE!!!!!!!!) I've even had kids walk into buildings because they forgot to look where they were walking.
Rather than repremand your kid for being rude or judging people, why not tell them to go and talk to that person and ask why the've made the style or fashion choice they have made.
Punks especially are really kind gentle folks who are usualy more than happy to discuss why they look the way they look...I can't speak for the rest of the population however.
For every little kid who's intriugued, there is that one pre teen or group of teens who makes a point of pointing or making snide remarks to their friends. I usually remind them I have ears and I can HEAR what they are saying, and I'm sure their parents would be super proud of how tollerant they are of the different choices people make. It usualy shuts them up.
I will tell you that I plan on teaching my son that every action has a consiquence (sp) if you say something out loud, you'd better be prepared for the response you will get. When he gets bigger, I'm not going to protect him or apologize for him. If you call some girl a slut, be prepared to get wacked across the face for it. I've never been one who only says stuff behind closed doors.
As for the baby harnesses, I'm still on the fence about them but I do completely see the need for them. I'd rather have the "dog" comments and know my son is safe at the end of the day...
Diana

 

[lucy_love_]

Originally posted by The Sweetness
Please dont get me wrong! I do not encourage DD to say anything to anyone that could hurt their feelings or piss them off.

(thankfully) she waits until shes away from the person/people who she has something inappropriate to say about, before she says it. She has come a long way in keeping it to herself, until we are in private. I realize now, by reading the responses here, that Im not so sure I like the idea of her judging others at all. I also know, that I want her to feel free to tell me how she feels about absolutely anything. Timing however, is positively key.

BTW, Im glad Ive seen a better word than leash for the equiptment used to keep the shorty's close. Harness makes me feel much better. Thank you all for your opinions

it doesnt matter whether you are encouraging her now to be so obviously rude in public but at some point in time you must have allowed your daughter to get away with such terrible behaviour as to slag people off for what they wear, how they bring up their children (the latter of which she knows nothing about). if this brat like behaviour is constant i suggest you take action. her having opinions is important but she should remember and she should have been taught from a young age (especially with the clothing remarks) that you should never judge a book by its cover.

 

[DWhittles]

Wooh! Hang on Lucy!
I'm SURE that Sweetness has done NOTHING that would have her written up in the book of bad parenting (not with this anyway :grin
I think at 12 kids are pushing the boundries again and that her daughter is learning to express her opinions. It sounds to me like Sweetness is handling the whole thing in a good manner and the way I think most mommies and daddies would do it.
Don't flame her as a bad parent! I'm quite sure she ISN'T one. It's clear she loves her daughter.
Lucy, how would YOU handle the situation if it were your child making the comments?

 

[memymomonica]

I am sure I am going to get flamed for this, but I can see this in my future. I daughter has learned that all people are different and that is what makes this country great. That said, there are times that I think inappropriate actions need to be addressed. why does it matter if a 12 year old does it or an adult? I am all for showing your personality in hair and clothes, but clothing that borders nudity? I am pretty liberal, but there is a line. I think the kid that told the couple to get a room was right on! While at Arlington cemetary this summer, I say a man with his shirt unbuttoned and stomach hanging out. This is a place of dignity and respect. I said something to him! It is summer in D.C., everyone is hot. That doesn't give anyone the right to act inappropriately. I understand Disney World doesn't have the same feel, but there is still a line that shouldn't be crossed. Someone mentioned something about you don't know the person's background and mentioned finances. T-shirts and normal shorts are not more expensive than bikini tops and Daisy Dukes. I do not judge the people, I judge their behavior. They could be great people with really bad judgement. As for the leash thing, I have never used one and never will. I understand that some say it is for safety and not restraint. I have to question that. I understand that having multiple young children is difficult. But, that is a choice. I know it is a helpful aid for the parents, but how do you think the child feels? I can't imagine. OK, I am ready for the flaming.

 

[Carrie Ellis]

I think you flamed yourself!

As far as the harness thing...how do you think a child feels about being locked down in a car seat? esp for hours? Or how about a crib? Is that too cage like? Or how about a fenced in play area? too dog like?

The parent who is not protecting their child somehow will be the first to get charged if the police has to take action. Yet get "the look" or a "comment" if they are using protective devices. Basically there is no win for loosing.

I have had two pregnancies and 4 children. The pregnancies were my choice for not the two at a time.

 

[eeyore kelly]

I understand that some say it is for safety and not restraint. I have to question that .

I used a harness on DS who is now 11, because he hated to hold a hand. He has suffered no ill effects. He's a well adjusted boy who doesn't even have nightmares.

Hmmm... harness couldn't have been that bad for him. BTW at the time he was an only child