Anyone else have an "elderly person" funny?

[EMom]

My friend's grandma and grandma's sister had eaten bacon and eggs every morning for breakfast for DECADES. Suddenly, they became concerned because of all the press regarding how food like that could raise your cholesterol and clog your arteries. They wondered aloud to my my friend if they should change to oatmeal to be safe.

They were 96 and 94!!!!!!!! She told them bacon and eggs had been pretty good to them all those years and they ought to stick to what worked.

 

[Juliegirl1]

Ok this is more sweet than funny. My dad used to be quite the jokester and prankster but since he has Parkinson's now he doesn't talk much. We went to dinner last night with my 10 year old son and my dad says to my son, "I wish you had known me when I was younger, I was a lot more fun." My son says to him, "I doubt that Papa, you are pretty fun now." My heart just went awwwww - and my poor dad started crying. Neither one of us expected that.

 

[RUDisney]

When my GM was alive, she, her brother and her sister went out for a drive one Saturday afternoon. At the end of their ride, my uncle asked if they'd like to get ice cream.

The ladies were sitting in the car, waiting for their brother when my aunt said that she had to go to the bathroom.right.now. Well, my aunt had suffered a stroke some years before and she didn't move quickly. When my GM told her she'd have to hold it, my aunt replied, "open your door. GM was in the back seat. My aunt opened her door and very quickly was out of her door and squatting in the parking lot.

My GM was mortified, as she never was one to call attention to herself or others. My aunt was a spitfire.

When my uncle came back to the car, GM told him the awful story of what their sister had done. He started laughing and said, "well, when you've gotta go, you've gotta go."

Sadly, the only one left from that generation is my uncle.

 

[lisajl]

Ok this is more sweet than funny. My dad used to be quite the jokester and prankster but since he has Parkinson's now he doesn't talk much. We went to dinner last night with my 10 year old son and my dad says to my son, "I wish you had known me when I was younger, I was a lot more fun." My son says to him, "I doubt that Papa, you are pretty fun now." My heart just went awwwww - and my poor dad started crying. Neither one of us expected that.

Best story ever!! Give your son a hug for me!

 

[eliza61]

I was working in the customer complaint at Sears dept store and an elderly gentlemen came in to return a pair of BVD underwear.

When I asked him was there any thing wrong with them he said.... Yeah, they are not making them right any more, they don't support his "boys" like they use too.

Ohh the mental image.

 

[illuminationsfanatic]

My grandfather had a difficult time understanding the difference between sitcoms/dramas and news/real life programming on television.

A long time ago, there was an afterschool special (I'm showing my age with that one ) starring Kim Fields - Tootie from The Facts of Life - as a gymnast. For years after that, whenever my grandfather saw Kim Fields on anything - he say: "That Tootie, she's a damn good gymnast in real life!"

My grandpa also gets confused by this. He never could understand how all of the people on LOST could actually be lost if there were cameras following them everywhere He never actually watched the show though, just saw previews, so maybe that added to the confusion.

 

[The Orchid]

This isn't so much a funny story, but a very, very nice one.

When my daughter was nearly eight, we drove to Disneyland (from Seattle) to celebrate her birthday. She turned eight while we were on the road going home. We couldn't do much for her birthday on the road, so we went to a small, quiet, family owned restaurant in Northern California and with the permission of the owners, we took in a small birthday cake for her. After she blew out her candles, an elderly gentleman walked up to my daughter and handed her a 20 dollar bill and said, "I've always wanted to do that! Happy Birthday!" Then he walked out really fast before we could even fully register what he did. I was so touched by that kind gesture. It's something I've thought about many times over the years. The $20 was spent pretty quickly, but the warm, fuzzy feelings we get from that experience will last a lifetime.

 

[The Orchid]

Ugh, my first double post.

 

[Jason@dvcstore]

Up til last year I worked as a 911 dispatcher will toward my last couple of weeks on the job I anwsered a 911 call that went something like this.

Me. 911 what is the location of your emergency?

Elderly caller: what?

Me: Ma'm what is the location of your emergency?

Elderely caller: 1234 Main street.

Me: Ma'm what is the nature of your emergency?

Elderely caller: What?

Me: What is the nature of your emergency?

Elderely caller: We have some donuts left over from bruch today and want to give them to the officers!

Me: desperately trying not to giggle. Ma'm I'm sorry you can't call 911 to offer us donuts though I'm sure our officers would love some. I send someone right over.

Jason

 

[MM27]

My mom's aunt just turned 90 years old this summer. She lives in a retirement community complete with lap pool and state of the art gym. We went out to dinner near her house and as we were driving the to restaurant we passed a regular gym (Golds or one of the other popular ones). She pointed it out and said she worked out there 3 times per week. My mom asked her, "Why are you going to a gym that you have to pay for when your have a gym right in your community that you can use for free?"

Her answer: "Because all the people that go to that one are old"

At 90, she works out 3 days a week and swims daily for 30 minutes straight in the lap pool.

 

[Val]

My Grandmother, who raised me, was a real spitfire.....worked as a CPA until she was 88, drove across the country alone at 17, and was involved in "women's lib" before there was such a thing. After her third stroke, at 90, she really began to slow down. Daily care, like baths, were difficult and she refused to let her caretaker/nurse help bath her. She was getting so cantankerous, and they were worried she would develop bed sores, which would mean going to a nursing home rather than staying in her own home. I finally agreed to fly out to the west coast and see if I could coax her to cooperate. Our conversation went like this:

Me: Grandma, you have to take baths. It is not good for you to not bathe.

Grandma: I don't want to take a bath. I am old and can do what I want.

Me: But Grandma, you stink! You don't want to stink do you?

Grandma: He##, I can't smell anymore, what do I care?

Me: Okay. I have to play the bad guy. It's take a bath at home or go to the nursing home (the ultimate threat).

Grandma: You can't make me do that.

Me: Oh yes I can, you gave me power of attorney!

Grandma: Who taught you to talk to people like that!

Me: You did. That's why we were well behaved children.

She shrugged and replied. "Well, that may be true." And she took a bath!

We lost her in November at the ripe old age of 91. And yes, she remained at home until she took her last breath. Miss her feisty disposition every day!

 

[starrzone]

I was working in the customer complaint at Sears dept store and an elderly gentlemen came in to return a pair of BVD underwear.

When I asked him was there any thing wrong with them he said.... Yeah, they are not making them right any more, they don't support his "boys" like they use too.

Ohh the mental image.

OMG!!! This is THE funniest!!!

 

[Shmily1]

DD's BFF sometimes has her GM living with them. Her GM's sister comes to stay sometimes and she has hearing aids. They don't fit exactly right so they will hum loudly when they aren't in correctly. She'll be walking around the house singing at the top of her lungs with those hearing aids humming. Well, the BFF laughs her but off about the singing but really can't stand the humming all the time. If you talk to her, you have to talk really loud so BFF says "Hit it Villa!" really loud (like almost screaming) and she'll pop those hearing aids back in and keep right on singing.

 

[Mandychelle79]

A few years ago when the flu shot was scarce and they were asking only the elderly to get it, we asked my grandmother ( in her 70's) if she had gotten her yet and she said she was saving them for the old people.

A few months ago, my grandma wouldnt give my grandfather the keys to my moms car ( we had borrowed their van, and they somehow turned on the lights and couldnt turn them off). He got into their truck and drove to my moms ( should mention gp has early stage Alzheimer/dementia, and while is still licensed to drive usually just puts around the farm on the Gator) to get the extra set of keys.

 

[Hedy]

My mom's aunt just turned 90 years old this summer. She lives in a retirement community complete with lap pool and state of the art gym. We went out to dinner near her house and as we were driving the to restaurant we passed a regular gym (Golds or one of the other popular ones). She pointed it out and said she worked out there 3 times per week. My mom asked her, "Why are you going to a gym that you have to pay for when your have a gym right in your community that you can use for free?"

Her answer: "Because all the people that go to that one are old"

At 90, she works out 3 days a week and swims daily for 30 minutes straight in the lap pool.

My grandmother made some friends in her (regular) apartment complex. They were "Nice ((hushed voice)) older women." My grandmother was 90, and these women were in their mid-70's.

 

[DMass]

A few years ago,I was in a bookstore just browsing when I heard something like creaking. I thought nothing of it and kept on looking for books. Then I heard it again but this time there was no mistaking what it was and it was loud.

The source of the noise was two old ladies in a corner looking at books and one of them was fartin' up a storm.

1st woman:"Jeez Martha"

Martha:"Well, whaddaya want me to do hold it in."

I could not stop laughing. I had to leave the store I was laughing so hard.