This will be a strange (and long-sorry) request, but here goes:
My BIL has been dependent on my MIL to support him for over 25 years. He graduated from a top university, then a top law school, yet he has never made enough money to support himself. He closed his completely non-profitable law firm, chose not to work for two years and then decided to go work at PC Richards with no yearly salary (only commission), no pension, and no health insurance. He contacts her every month, always with an excuse for why he needs money and needs it immediately. My MIL knows that she should have put a stop to it a long time ago, but admits that she always hoped he would find himself and its too late now. Shes not strong enough at this point in her life. BIL knows that she has a lot of money and feels that he should not have to wait for her to die to spend what should rightfully be his. She cries and says she must be the worst mother in the whole world that her son has turned out this way. DH and I try to tell her its not her, its him. I point out that my DH, her younger son, has always been so responsible, caring and extremely successful, growing up in the same house. I really feel so bad for her and Im so angry with him. She's in her 80s, is a widow and is battling breast cancer. The only thing that seems to give her comfort is when she hears from someone else that they have someone in their family that is similar because, it helps her feel maybe its not just her and shes not the most horrible mother. We tell her, unfortunately, its more common than she thinks.
So, if you feel like sharing do you have someone in your immediate or extended family that has freeloaded and used family members like this? And, how do you handle it emotionally? Ill share some of these stories and any ideas with her. Thank you.
My BIL has been dependent on my MIL to support him for over 25 years. He graduated from a top university, then a top law school, yet he has never made enough money to support himself. He closed his completely non-profitable law firm, chose not to work for two years and then decided to go work at PC Richards with no yearly salary (only commission), no pension, and no health insurance. He contacts her every month, always with an excuse for why he needs money and needs it immediately. My MIL knows that she should have put a stop to it a long time ago, but admits that she always hoped he would find himself and its too late now. Shes not strong enough at this point in her life. BIL knows that she has a lot of money and feels that he should not have to wait for her to die to spend what should rightfully be his. She cries and says she must be the worst mother in the whole world that her son has turned out this way. DH and I try to tell her its not her, its him. I point out that my DH, her younger son, has always been so responsible, caring and extremely successful, growing up in the same house. I really feel so bad for her and Im so angry with him. She's in her 80s, is a widow and is battling breast cancer. The only thing that seems to give her comfort is when she hears from someone else that they have someone in their family that is similar because, it helps her feel maybe its not just her and shes not the most horrible mother. We tell her, unfortunately, its more common than she thinks.
So, if you feel like sharing do you have someone in your immediate or extended family that has freeloaded and used family members like this? And, how do you handle it emotionally? Ill share some of these stories and any ideas with her. Thank you.
He did tell me back in December that he's having 2nd thoughts because the "government" interferes in education way too much and he could never compromise his "Love of History" by teaching the way the Politicians think he should be done. BIL might be a dead beat, but he has morals darn it!
to your family. I hope your BIL gets his act together. THANK GOD MIL has listened to you guys and modified the will. Can you imagine, otherwise?? 
