Anyone else go overboard with budgeting/saving money?

[lilpig]

Did you even READ the thread?

Ok I actually laughed a little.. because this is what I was going to say.

I am so proud of you OP for making your YY Res.!!

I just joined the "September No Buy" ....I read it and it was like calling my name..So I thought hey I want to do this! Great!! another way I am obsessing. I am going to go delete it! because we all know I already do it..I just got "carried away" I think it is because we got a kitten and spent money (they are expensive, so I had anxiety)

Ugh...one day at a time!

 

[Karenj2]

I don't tell him he can't have a drink, I just point out how much all of the drinks add up, lol. He drinks, eats, buys all he wants, we don't tell each other what to do, and in general, both of us can laugh at me when I act like that. But it's the fretting about it that I'm tired of. I'm the only one being driven crazy by this and I want to stop.



Some of it is hobby. If we won the lottery tomorrow I would still look at each expense. But I do think I have a problem with splurging on myself moreso (DH consults me on money decisions, but he wouldn't let me control him, even if I wanted to). For ex, my DH threatened to walk in a store and buy a purse for me the other day b/c I've been wanting a new one forever and couldn't make myself do it. The only reason I got it was b/c I knew he really would do it and he'd pick out something terrible, so this was in a way the cheaper option to go. But I was still sick about it.

For the pp who said I don't want tips, I'm not asking for anyone to help me uncover deep, psychological problems! I know what my issues are and I can guess why I have them, I'm just wondering if there are any tips for overcoming the reluctance to spend money even though you have it...Like the tips on letting DH pay for everything (may work, if I can stop the mental math, will definitely try this) or getting the DDP (at $200 or so a day for the 5 of us, this would kill me ) In other words, has anyone been like this and found something(s) that helped them to let go of these hang ups?
Thanks for everyone who did share tips!

I know you said that you have a spreadsheet, but have you thought about adding categories for things that are wants, not needs? For example, have a Kindle/iPad/purse category, so that when the money is saved up in that category, you can spend it without guilt.

I can't say that I'm an over saver, or an over spender - I think that both DH and I have a tendency to either spend money on stuff we don't necessarily need (nor have saved up for), or we say we CAN'T buy something because we don't think we have the money. We've only just added some "big" wants to our budget in YNAB, so when we have the money saved up, we'll feel comfortable being able to make the purchases...

As for your hubby's drinks - well, as long as HE'S ok with your habits (and you are too), it doesn't matter what we think.

 

[rnorwo1]

Ok I actually laughed a little.. because this is what I was going to say.

I am so proud of you OP for making your YY Res.!!

I just joined the "September No Buy" ....I read it and it was like calling my name..So I thought hey I want to do this! Great!! another way I am obsessing. I am going to go delete it! because we all know I already do it..I just got "carried away" I think it is because we got a kitten and spent money (they are expensive, so I had anxiety)

Ugh...one day at a time!

Yep! I thought today I was going to buy new towels (ours are awful looking, but still functional!) but I just couldnt do it. Will try another day!
BTW, I tried no-buy once and it was a disaster, I was out of control with it. If I had to buy then I spent the entire day buying... Otherwise I was going days and days without getting things we needed.

I know you said that you have a spreadsheet, but have you thought about adding categories for things that are wants, not needs? For example, have a Kindle/iPad/purse category, so that when the money is saved up in that category, you can spend it without guilt.

I can't say that I'm an over saver, or an over spender - I think that both DH and I have a tendency to either spend money on stuff we don't necessarily need (nor have saved up for), or we say we CAN'T buy something because we don't think we have the money. We've only just added some "big" wants to our budget in YNAB, so when we have the money saved up, we'll feel comfortable being able to make the purchases...

As for your hubby's drinks - well, as long as HE'S ok with your habits (and you are too), it doesn't matter what we think.

I love ynab, it's perfect for an obsessor like me! I do have some fun categories, but I still have trouble spending it. I will keep working on it!

 

[stayhomemom77]

I used to be in this boat. I jumped out and swam for shore!!

Seriously though, I did have this problem...right down to the little envelope with money that I never spent!!

What worked for me was my weight loss reward plan. Now, this exact scenario isn't going to work for you if you don't happen to need to lose weight but the same principle can be applied to anything really...even to wanting to feel less guilty about loosening the purse strings a little bit.

So, I suggest to set some kind of goal. Pick anything...be creative. Then, when you've achieved it...treat youself to something frivilous. You HAVE to because it's your reward. I started out getting things at the dollar store that were nice to have but I definitely could have lived without. I also began a love affair with clothing and shoe shopping...but that developed over time as my dress size decreased. I found it easy to let my death grip on the purse strings go because I had to. My wardrobe was getting far too big to wear, so I had to replenish it. At first the guilt was a problem but eventually, by spending the money and actively trying to "forgive" myself I was able to get to the point where I can buy something for myself (while still focusing on getting a good deal) without the guilt.

Could the money have been used elsewhere? SURE!! But for me, the entire experience was tied up in the the cost of that skirt (or whatever). Cause for me...shopping is part of the fun.

In the beginning, I had to keep telling myself that the instrinsic value was different from the actual dollar amount that I was spending. With regards to your Disney vacation, maybe focusing on things like...family mood, smiles, state of relaxation or excitement and the memories being made would help you justify spending the "unnecessary" extra $15 a meal (or whatever) on the drinks (etc.) you could do without.

I think there have been some good suggestions made. I particularly like the gift card idea and having your husband pay for meals is a good suggestion too.

I have to admit, I'm not fully "rehabillitated." I spend at least half of "my" allotted spending money on the kids when we're at Disney but I don't feel guilty about spending it any more and that only eased by just spending the money and trying to let it go.

HTH!! Good Luck!!

 

[ChiCat]

But you ARE going there with him. Pointing out how much all of his drinks cost is going there. Returning a gift he picked out for you is going there.

Seriously.

This thread made me sad. I can't imagine pestering my DH over drinks on vacation

I get the nagging feeling of spending too much sometimes but loved ones are more important than money. If I were you I'd remind myself that you guys having a good time on vacation is the goal. If you can't afford a couple hundred bucks on drinks and dessert on vacation than why even go?