Anyone else a SAHM who doesn't plan on returning to the work force?

[Skatermom23]

Sometimes I feel like I am the only one in the entire country! I have a BS degree in Business and could return if I needed to. I stopped working when we had kids. Those kids are now teens and everyone asks me when I plan to go back to work. While things were hard in the early years with finances, DH has worked his way up the ladder and while an extra paycheck is always nice, it isn't necessary. DH likes to not have anything to do on the weekends because I get it all done during the week. What can I say, he is spoiled and he knows it. I enjoy taking care of everything and he likes it this way. Once the kids are out of the house or maybe in a few years, I plan to travel with him on his business trips and we want to be free to pack up and go on the weekends. This seems to work for us but I feel like I am the only person around in this situation! Anyone else out there????

 

[ohiominnie]

the kids are out of the house or maybe in a few years, I plan to travel with him on his business trips and we want to be free to pack up and go on the weekends. This seems to work for us but I feel like I am the only person around in this situation! Anyone else out there????

You are not the only person around in this situation.
I'm more than likely in this boat too. I did go to school and have a BSN (nursing) but I honestly can't see myself going back to it.....at least not in a hospital setting. Dh also loves me being home to take care of things (cooking, housework, errands, phone calls, follow ups, etc) and I love doing it.
Every once in awhile my parents will ask about if I'm planning on using my degree and usually I say I already did.....I worked very hard as a nurse to get dh through med school and part of his residency....now I'm reaping the rewards!

 

[karynnix]

I am actually attending school now for an Associate's in Psychology, but I have no interest in working a full-time job in that field. I just want the knowledge. I quit work when my son was diagnosed with autism, and I can't imagine not being available to him and my daughter 24 hours a day. I love taking care of the house and keeping things in order. No one can do it better than I can, so why would I give that up? Plus, I am available for field trips and parties at school. Yes, the extra paycheck would be nice, but what I am doing at home is so much more important.

 

[kinntj]

I don't think you're alone. My friend is definately staying at home as long as she can and that would include forever. She is a very organized and hard working person and runs her house like she would a job or business. She does have a BS in science and doesn't regret getting it or staying at home.

I don't plan on going back to work full time ever. I will probably work part-time until I'm ready to retire. I will work full time only if the our circumstances called for it. That will be in about 4 years, when our youngest is in 1st grade.

 

[JoiseyMom]

I have a BS in CIS, I earned that degree while I was a single mom of 2 boys. Those boys are now fully grown and I have two grade school kids with my dh of 11 years. I went to school and worked while my older boys were growing up. I first became a SAHM full time when my 5 year old was born. At the time I was going to be laid off due to a merger, and my DH and I decided we can afford to have me stay home. At that time our kids were new born, 5, 16 & 17. There are family members that feel I should go back to work, and for a while were sending me any Computer job they thought I might be able to do. What they didn't take in consideration was the cost of before school care, after school care and day care. Depending on where I work, and how much I make, there goes my salary.

I currently work part time and basically make my own hours. I have tasks to do, and must get them done by a certain date. I actually want to be able to work more hours while my kids are in school, and have not been lucky enough to find an establishment willing to hire me. There was a time where I was looking for full time employment (DH was laid off and we were both trying to find work), and even then I had trouble finding a local full time job. They saw how much I made at my previous job, and were like...umm...why do you want to work here?? Being over qualified is harder then being under qualified!!

I do enjoy (well most of the time) being home. I do not like be made to feel like a maid, and a waitress and a like I am running a restaurant though!! My kids need me, and I want to be here for them, and DH wants me here. Well, if I could get a job making as much as he does, he would want to be here!! He was a SAHD for awhile, and loved it!!

 

[Mom2Ty&Lins]

I can't see myself returning to the workforce either. At least not in a full time capacity. DS is entering 4th grade and DD is entering 7th grade. My mom told me several years ago that it is her opinion that it is more important to be at home with the kids when they are older vs. when they are younger. I didn't quite understand what she meant at the time because my kids were very young. As my kids have gotten older and are exposed to things I couldn't have dreamed of at their age, I now see her point in saying that and I completely agree with her opinion.
As for when the kids are grown and gone, I still don't see myself returning to work on a full-time basis. My DH also likes the convenience of having me available to do the little things that never seemed to get done when we both worked full-time. It is a win-win situation all the way around!

 

[njcarita]

My mom told me several years ago that it is her opinion that it is more important to be at home with the kids when they are older vs. when they are younger. I didn't quite understand what she meant at the time because my kids were very young. As my kids have gotten older and are exposed to things I couldn't have dreamed of at their age, I now see her point in saying that and I completely agree with her opinion.

I got the same speech from my mom when I was doing everything in my power to leave the work place and become a sahm when my oldest was 1.
I also didn't get it till quite recently-- now that my eldest in 11, all I can say is "MOM was right "

 

[mom2boys77]

My kids are younger than yours, 4 and 10 but I do not plan to go back to work either. My family is my priority and they are a little spoiled by all that I do for them but this is what I chose and I do love it and I think it will be awesome when the kids are in college or working and my dh and I will be able to just take off. I'm just 29 now and my mom doesn't understand why someone my age would want to stay home (she hated it) but I have finally gotten to a point where I just don't care, we are happy with this decision and that should be all that matters! I am also very fortunate that my husband makes more than enough so I don't have to work. I think being a good mother and wife is the best and most important job in the world!!

Sometimes I feel like I am the only one in the entire country! I have a BS degree in Business and could return if I needed to. I stopped working when we had kids. Those kids are now teens and everyone asks me when I plan to go back to work. While things were hard in the early years with finances, DH has worked his way up the ladder and while an extra paycheck is always nice, it isn't necessary. DH likes to not have anything to do on the weekends because I get it all done during the week. What can I say, he is spoiled and he knows it. I enjoy taking care of everything and he likes it this way. Once the kids are out of the house or maybe in a few years, I plan to travel with him on his business trips and we want to be free to pack up and go on the weekends. This seems to work for us but I feel like I am the only person around in this situation! Anyone else out there????

 

[Teresa Pitman]

I had always intended to stay at home, but my marriage broke up when my children were still fairly young so I had no choice but to work. However, because being at home and available to my kids was my first priority, I've worked a combination of at-home and part-time jobs with maximum flexibility, so I've been able to be there when my kids got home from school (even did some homeschooling), go on field trips and other events with them, throw in a load of laundry when I took a little break so we could do family things on the weekend, etc. Now they're grown (youngest is 21) and while financially things are still tough, I'm glad I was able to have as much time with them as I did.

Teresa

 

[terri01p]

SAHM here too, I think if I went back to work the whole house would fall apart, my dh has become so lazy, when it comes to anything in the house, I run errands like crazy. I stay busy from the time I get up until I go to bed. My kids still call home and ask me to do this and that for them. Always knowing I 'm available.

 

[carymomof3]

I don't have plans to return to the work force either. It's actually out of necessity as our youngest son is severely physically disabled and one of us has to be available to care for him at all times. That said, though, I wouldn't change things. My older two are teenagers and like previous posters, I would never trade having been at home during their middle and high school years. I knew their friends and I knew where they were (most of the time! ) I also like having all the household "stuff" done so that our weekends are free for family time. I have a journalism degree and worked for a newspaper for 14 years. I still use my experience through volunteer activities and the occasional free-lance opportunity, but not for a steady income. The trade-offs would not be worth it to my husband and me. Sometimes I feel like a throwback to an earlier era, but by the same token, sometimes I don't think "progress" is all that it's cracked up to be.

 

[txgirl]

I have felt the same way, especially in regard to having all of mine in school (in two more years) My kids are 11, 9, & 3 but even when the youngest starts school I will not be looking to go back to work.

I also do my SAHM job as if it were a paid position (or try to) and make the most of each day (or try to ) I use the summers as awesome opportunities to make memories with my older ones, planning day trips and outings several days a week with work days at home in between (housework, phone calls, etc.) During the school year, I am usually running at mock speed to get all the things done that I enjoy doing for my family. They are spoiled in the sense that they might take for granted my availability, but everyone does pull weight; especially the kids! DH might appear spoiled, but when I am sitting out by the pool chattin' with friends on a mid-summer afternoon while he is at work dealing with those headaches I am reminded that being home full-time has so many blessings! I hope that last sentence didn't give the impression that I have this cushy life, sittin on my butt because what I didn't give you was the visual of my youngest one pooping his pants while chattin' with friends at the pool!

I sometimes feel like a was born in the wrong time period, because I relish the *Homemaker* job. I make my home what it is and for that I am both proud and grateful to have the ability to do so without returning to the work force full-time. That said, I am also forever grateful for the freedom to make the choice.

 

[Kay1]

I really couldn't even if I wanted to. My 15-year-old has autism and needs my care. My degree is in Hospitality Management and I was a restaurant manager before I wed my husband. The hours were amazing and there's no way I could do that now.

Once my son is out of school he'll be home with me full-time so I won't bother to retrain. We've focused all our attention on my husband's post-grad education and career and last year he received a big promotion and a fairly nice raise. He also has picked up some nice consulting work. I coul never work second shift because he travels a lot now, gone for four or five days at a time.

 

[2002Disneybride]

I am thinking of staying home after I have my second child in February. We have such a huge mortgage, that I can not see it happening. I went back very early with DS, but my sister cares for him duringt he day so I feel at ease that way--she's been a SAHM for as long as I can remember! ((She was looking to go back to work and then I had the baby...she needed a job and I needed a sitter!))
But as far as staying home in Feb. I am hoping we can cut costs wherever we can and make it work!

 

[MATTERHORN]

I sometimes feel like a was born in the wrong time period, because I relish the *Homemaker* job. I make my home what it is and for that I am both proud and grateful to have the ability to do so without returning to the work force full-time. That said, I am also forever grateful for the freedom to make the choice.

I have to say that I don't post to often but everytime there is a post like this, the things you say always hit the nail right on the head for me! It is amazing, I sit here thinking of how to word what I want to say and usually when I get to your posts, you have said it far better than I could!!!

I stay at home, although I never seem to be home My kids are 5, 3 and 9 months and being with them is the most important thing in my life. I can't imagine going back to work and working half of my week just to pay someone else to do the job I love - taking care of them. I enjoy being with them and I know when someone's mom dies, the kids aren't at the funeral saying, "Gee I sure wish mom had worked more"! I am making sure they won't be saying "Gee I wish mom had been home more and I had gotten to spend more time with her".

After I die, being that I am not an actress or celebrity, no one will remember what I did for work (bank job, casino host, salesperson) and no one will care what I did except my kids. So that is all that matters to me!

Sure things are tight sometimes, but long before I ever had kids, before I ever met Dh, I knew that this was the life I wanted. You can always go back to work, but you can never get this time back. Plus I am always amazed at how many people like to work. I dread, absolutely dread, can't say it enough, dread the day I ever have to return to work. I guess I am in the minority though! But being that I have done both, I can't imagine why anyone would want to work! You couldn't pay me enough to be away from my kids all day.

But that said, I do have friends that will openly admit they could not stay at home with their kids all day. And that's fine, it's their choice. The paycheck would be nice, but not as nice as the peace of mind knowing that my kids are taken care of the way I want them to be and brought up the way I want them to be day in and day out. Granted if they somehow turn out to be horrible, I won't be able to lay the blame on anyone else But even if we could work seperate shifts, it would be pointless for me because then DH would have to turn down overtime and we'd be right back where we started!

Well this got long, sorry! Staying at home is why we are just now making our first trip to WDW next year even though I have wanted to go for many years. We are lucky that my family buys us DL annual passes for holidays/birthdays so we are able to go a few times a year for 3 or 4 nights for only $300-$400 per trip, sometimes less if I go with a friend and we share a room! Otherwise, I don't think we would be going there often either.

Hope everyone has a great day!


Andrea

 

[Ellester]

Add me to the list! I have an engineering degree and actually did go back to work full time after my oldest was born. But, I quickly realized that work had lost its meaning for me and I needed to be home with my little angel. We sacrificed quite a bit, at the time I was making more than my DH was. But we made it through and 8 years (and two more kids) later, I have no desire to go back into the work force. We homeschool as well, so between keeping the house and teaching school I stay pretty busy. My DH was laid off in April and is still looking, so I may have to do something at least part time in the next few months. But I will be back at home as soon as I can.

 

[DaisyD]

I have been a SAHM for going on 18 years. My last child is going into 2nd grade this year. I have no plans to return to the work force. I do have a paralegal associates degree but only got that for the fun of it. I have no intention of every using it. I take too many vacations to try to get a job. They wouldn't like me always taking off work!

 

[Mike.Wazowski]

We decided I would give up my career (where I actually made more $ than him!) when my 2nd was born -
and I found the older one (1st grade at the time) actually needed me more with homework, costumes for plays - etc!
We have three now
and dh often will make comments about me 'never going back to work' but then he would have a LOT of work to do if I did go back to work - lol

so no you are not alone in that.

although sometimes I say I would like to get a 'fun job' at the ski mountain or waitressing at a diner or something.....

time will tell

 

[grlpwrd]

No, I plan to work out of the home eventually, but for now I am home with our 5 kids and selling on ebay. My mom stayed home until she went back to work when my youngest brother entered 1st grade.

I plan to own my own business out of the home, that is. I have a good 20+ years of earning power left. I want to invest, I want a better retirement, I want to travel more with family and be able to afford things I want, I want to support us in case something happens to my dh or our relationship fails somehow (God forbid),and I want to show my kids you can do it.

 

[txgirl]

I can't imagine going back to work and working half of my week just to pay someone else to do the job I love - taking care of them. I enjoy being with them and I know when someone's mom dies, the kids aren't at the funeral saying, "Gee I sure wish mom had worked more"! I am making sure they won't be saying "Gee I wish mom had been home more and I had gotten to spend more time with her".

Plus I am always amazed at how many people like to work. I dread, absolutely dread, can't say it enough, dread the day I ever have to return to work.

Hello kindred spirit! I have echoed the above sentiment countless times. I love what I do and it is actually my *dream job* (see my profile ). I can remember as a child, sticking pillows under my shirt and pretending to be pregnant!

There is a huge hold in my heart for my mother who died when she was only 37 years old. Her life as a mother (sahm) completely shaped who I am and how much I value the passing of time, especially childhood.

Your feelings of dread and despair on going back to work crack me up! I have said the same thing and when my girlfriends who work in an office talk about their day, my stomach starts to churn and I feel a great big heave coming on!!!!!

To each their own, but if I get to live out my fantasy dream job, then I will be making trips to visit my kids in college instead of pushing papers when they are grown. When they are married, I will be helping them furnish their new homes, having them over for dinner, and spoiling my grandkids rotten!!!! Hopefully, if we plan right I can splurge and provide Disney trips for the whole clan

Blessings!