Anyone been to a wedding lately?

[KAM2]

I live in the South too and could not afford to go to weddings if I had to bring gifts in the over $100 range!!

I am a wedding soloist......often I am invited to the reception but if I don't know the bride, I don't go.
If the person is an acquaintance, I don't charge a fee for singing and I let that be my gift--hope that's not tacky--I guess I consider myself the "hired help" and not really a guest!

If I am an invited guest and not singing (or singing in a friend's wedding) ---I buy something from the registry. I figure that buying something they registered for is always a safe bet!!

I wonder what soloists make in the northeast.....maybe I should move!!!

 

[ducklite]

Originally posted by KAM2
I wonder what soloists make in the northeast.....maybe I should move!!!

Kelly-

My friend who got married last year paid $50 to the soloist--this was in VT. Here in NJ the price seems to start at about $150 and go up from there, one friend paid $400 for her daughters soloist!

Anne

 

[IloveDMB]

I was just wondering what the typical per-person cost a wedding is in other parts of the country. I banquet waitress here and I know how expensive they are here in NJ, but I was wondering how it compared.

 

[gina2000]

I see nothing tasteless or tacky about giving what I want to a bridal couple as a gift....and that includes covering or not covering the cost of a plate.

Tasteless and tacky occurs when the couple has expectations of what I should give......whether it is to cover the cost of a plate or anything less.

It's not etched in stone, nor is it a rule in the Northeast that we try to give enough to cover the cost of our meal. We do it with love, gratitude and enjoyment of the evening's party. If we can't afford to do it, we don't. No one has ever suggested to me that I have not given enough money. No one has ever told me I must give more. I give what I can. My guideline, though, is based on three things.....the relationship I have with the couple, where the wedding is being held and what I can afford. Why do I think about where it is being held? I suppose it is because I have had so many wonderful times EVERYWHERE I've gone for a wedding...be it a fancy bash or a small shindig. I don't give less than my average to a couple having a wedding in a less fancy venue. I do, however, try to give a bit more to express my appreciation for a good time at a fancy bash. And why not? I'm saying "Thank you for the fancy party" as well as "Congratulations". And that's my choice.

It's just the way things are done here. We're not tacky, tasteless or any of the other adjectives used to show posters' displeasure with our customs/traditions.

We're just different.

 

[IloveDMB]

Originally posted by gina2000
I see nothing tasteless or tacky about giving what I want to a bridal couple as a gift....and that includes covering or not covering the cost of a plate.

Tasteless and tacky occurs when the couple has expectations of what I should give......whether it is to cover the cost of a plate or anything less.

I'm saying "Thank you for the fancy party" as well as "Congratulations". And that's my choice.

It's just the way things are done here. We're not tacky, tasteless or any of the other adjectives used to show posters' displeasure with our customs/traditions.

We're just different.

Thank you. Well said!

 

[ducklite]

Traci-lyn,

My friend that got married in VT last fall paid around $15 per person for a buffet style reception with a cash bar. There was a champagne toast included, but they had to arrange their own cake.

Regretfully the food and service was worth less than $15 a head. She wasn't a terribly happy bride the way it all sorted out.

My cousin paid $25 per head for her reception in Cleveland. That was just the catering, the hall was additional. One hour open bar then it went to cash.

And disykat, no speculation, in the case of the friend she asked for my help in planning the whole thing, and bounced a lot of ideas off me (including costs)...and in the case of my cousin, her sister told me how much had been spent while we were discussing plans for her upcoming wedding.

Anne

 

[IloveDMB]

My friend that got married in VT last fall paid around $15 per person for a buffet style reception with a cash bar. There was a champagne toast included, but they had to arrange their own cake.

I almost choked when I read this. I believe that the place I work at is no less then $100 per person, not including the bar.

Want to hear extravagant? Last month I worked a bar-mitzvah that cost $60,000!

 

[ducklite]

Ok, now I'm propping my jaw up off the ground!!! $60k for a bar mitzvah is unbeliveable!!

We paid around $50 a head for our wedding, including cash bar, champagne toast, cake, the usual ladda-da. That was in NJ, but was about 10 years ago, and was FAR from the fanciest place in the area. Our wedding was small and simple, my dad passed away about six months before we got married after a long illness, and I wasn't up to planning a huge shin-dig. In retospect I'm glad we didn't spend a huge amount of money on a wedding.

Anne

 

[katerkat]

We paid about $60 a head for a sit-down dinner with open bar in Virginia (18 months ago). Dad wanted me to have it NJ, where I'm from, but we chose our college town. If we did it in NJ, there's no way we could have had it for $60 a person!

 

[KrnB]

Originally posted by CourtasanSatine
are group gifts ok? I was part of one when a teacher got married and each person gave 10 dollars

Definitely! I like doing them because as a group, you can get something much nicer than you can as an individual.

For my wedding, my group at work contributed money for a gift, which was given as a $75 gift certifcate from a website (giftcertificate.com or something like that) where I could choose from a couple hundred different vendors. We choose a really cool coffee maker from Cooking.com.

As far as monitary gifts, most people gave us between $25-50; family tended to give more. It really didn't matter to us how much people gave, and we certainly didn't compare it to the amount of money spent on the wedding. My parents spent a huge amount of money giving me the wedding of my dreams, but we weren't expected to earn that back in gifts. Our guests' presence was payback enough.

A lot of people gave us gift cards instead of checks/cash - we were registered at Target and Marshall Fields. They were great because we were able to use them to buy the remaining items on our list. Also, we found out that Target gift cards (we got a lot of those) can be used at Fields, which was nice because we could use it to buy our china and other things that we wouldn't buy for ourselves normally.