anybody here ever cut ties with their parents

[Planogirl]

My mother and I had a big fight many years ago and that ended our relationship. It was on shaky ground anyway. I remember us not getting along since I was a young kid. I tried to make sure that DS and her stayed in contact but she wanted no part of it. That has always puzzled me.

My father died some years ago and that was awful. He meant a lot to me.

 

[gracie1]

Were not close at all with my brothers. Two of the brothers were much older than I and lived on their own when I was growing up. They don't bother with any of us, never call, nothing, so we pretty much just don't speak.
My other brother lives in a fantasy world where he thinks he is better than everyone else. He is so arrogant it's disgusting. I cut ties with him when he called my mom and told her she was a rotten mother compared to his new inlaws.
I could really go on with that story but better stop while I am ahead.

 

[Chelley00]

I could never cut ties with my parents. They're my parents, I accept them for what they are,they accept me for what I am. They are my flesh and blood.

But, I'm sure they act as parents, and act like normal human beings with feelings. Some of us aren't so lucky and have parents that should have never been parents. There's a big difference between just not getting along with a parent, and having a parent that goes out to destroy you, if physically or verbally abusive etc.

I could never cut ties with my mother. Sure, she is totally complicated but she's a good person who in her own way does what she thinks is best for our relationship. She's a good person. My father is evil, emotionally unstable and abusive. His wife is even worse. There is nothing I get from maintaining that relationship other than drama, stress and kids who get nervous if they come around. We don't need that in our lives.

 

[chellewashere]

My mom and I havent talked since I was 9, I was raised by multiple family members. Met my dad when I was 14 and it was a rocky relationship from the start. When I moved back to his town 13 years ago I have tried and tried to have a relationship with him, but its to no avail. It has to be his way or he will just stop talking to me for months at a time. Last week was the final straw and I have decided that this is horrible for my DD and have made the decision he is just not to be around my family any longer.

My inlaws...oh boy. They were horrible to my DH is whole life, but he loved him an could not see his mom for the lying, conniving, miserable woman. When his brother died in a car accident 9 years ago she said she wished it was him instead. I never told him that because that is something that should NEVER come out of a mothers mouth. When my DD was born she made it clear that she wasnt as important as her other grandchildren and that she wasn't real because she was conceived thru IVF. But her alcoholic nature started to take a toll on my husband and he started to try to avoid her at all family functions. Then last month she called us liars and theives because my DH and BIL were helping his grandpop move and he gave us stuff from his house that she said only she was entitled to...well it blew up into a big thing and my DH decided that is it once and for all he is over his mom. Sad that my child will never have or know grandparents but its better for her own personal growth.

Plus side out of all this, my DH has finally decided that he is ok with us moving out of state and we get to move down south now!!

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I could never cut ties with my parents. They're my parents, I accept them for what they are,they accept me for what I am. They are my flesh and blood.

And how blessed you are. I wish I could feel that way, but some of us are not as blessed and our flesh and blood are toxic to us. I am very envious of people who don't understand and in some ways I get it. I was blessed with amazing grandparents who stepped in to raise me, if they were my only family I could be like you, but they are not, and so I can understand why some people have to cut ties, for their own sanity and happiness. It isn't something done easily, it is not something you soon get over. But sometimes it is necessary.

ETA- And some families don't accept their kids for who they are. My mom always would tell me how I was "just like my father." My only memories of her when I was young are of her telling me "don't do that, you look just like your father." And it wasn't in a complimenting way. Se despised my father and righfully so, but I was who I was and couldn't help who she chose to be my father. When she remarried and discovered she coudln't have more children she made it very clear that I was such a disapointment especially since I was her only shot at having a child. I, to this day, know that I am the biggest disapointment and regret of my mom's life. Great feeing, huh? On top of all that, she is the one cutting ties with me.

 

[hearts8701]

3 years ago i had a stage 4 cancer i was close to my mom but for some reason she would not have anything to do with me while i was in treatment but i still wanted my mom i would call & ask her to come she would say she would but not show up she would tell family she was taking me to treatment but she never did i just figured she had a problem seeing her sick child even though i was 47 years old at the time i continued to try to regain a mother daughter relationship since i have been in remission when she sees me at parties (if & when she attends) for other famly members she turns her head my sister lives next door to her when i pull up in the car my mom goes in her house & closes her door we have talked a few times i told her all i want is her to call once in a while to ask how are you doing she will say i will she'll call once & stop my husband no longer talks to her and my children who were once very close to her is now strained i think i should cut ties but i just want my mom

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

3 years ago i had a stage 4 cancer i was close to my mom but for some reason she would not have anything to do with me while i was in treatment but i still wanted my mom i would call & ask her to come she would say she would but not show up she would tell family she was taking me to treatment but she never did i just figured she had a problem seeing her sick child even though i was 47 years old at the time i continued to try to regain a mother daughter relationship since i have been in remission when she sees me at parties (if & when she attends) for other famly members she turns her head my sister lives next door to her when i pull up in the car my mom goes in her house & closes her door we have talked a few times i told her all i want is her to call once in a while to ask how are you doing she will say i will she'll call once & stop my husband no longer talks to her and my children who were once very close to her is now strained i think i should cut ties but i just want my mom

That is very hard I am sure. And I have no idea why that would be. Sorry for you. That has to be very difficult. When you needed your mom the most she wasn't there for you. Sorry.

So glad you are in remission. Glad you have your husband and kids!

 

[hearts8701]

MickeyMomOfThree thank you for your kind words yes i am lucky to have my husband & kids i am in the same boat as you my mom has cut the ties that bind us i just miss her and i keep trying but nothing works

 

[Inigo]

I could never cut ties with my parents. They're my parents, I accept them for what they are,they accept me for what I am. They are my flesh and blood.

As others have said, you're lucky. My view is that it is better to be related by love than related by blood. My kids and I have a lot of "family" that we aren't related to in any way except by us choosing to have these people as family. "Aunt" Barb, "Uncle" Gary, etc are all people we've chosen to have in our lives.''

I cut off ties with my parents and brothers a long time ago because of the abuse. I moved out of my parents' house and on my own at 16 to get out of the situation. I managed to put myself through college and have a respectable life, quite different than those people. I have relationships with (my actual) aunts, uncles, and cousins, and probably wouldn't have survived childhood if it hadn't been for them, my grandmother, my great-uncle, and friends who were there for me.

My children deserve better than to be threatened, abused, or treated badly, and I will not expose my children to that, nor will I ever put myself in that situation again. I deserve better.

 

[Gigi22]

DH cut off all ties with his mother several years after his father died. MIL is an egotistical, selfish, apparently former alcoholic, who deeply loved all her daughters and for some reason hated/hates her sons. Neither of her sons talk to her now. We all deeply regretted FIL's passing, the man was truly a saint--but MIL--quite another story.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I didn't cut ties with my father, but at the moment that I saw his body at the hospital my mind completly erased him from my memory. Nearly six years later I still can't remember him or picture him.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I could never cut ties with my parents. They're my parents, I accept them for what they are,they accept me for what I am. They are my flesh and blood.

Then count your blessings.as others have said ..not everyone has a great family, one with mutual respect all around.