Anybody else constantly fighting for Disney?!

[scrapquitler]

I love Disney but I have to say I've been on many fanstastic vacations that were not Disney. Also, I never went to WDW as a child, but I have the best childhood memories of family vacations. Kids enjoy being with their parents and siblings having fun. It's more about spending time together than the actual destination.

Same here. Vacation was always about hanging out with the family (often the extended family) and having all kinds of fun, not just one kind of fun. We never went to WDW and I didn't feel deprived. It actually was better that we went lots of different places, every year was something new. I think if we went to the same place all the time it would have gotten boring.

 

[Nancyg56]

I love WDW but it is not the only vacation destination that there is. It is sad that you feel that you need to drive the vacation and that your Dh must follow suit or be left behind. I can tell you that if I gave my DH an ultimatum, and this really is an ultimatum, I would be getting my wish. I would be vacationing anywhere I wanted to because he would be taking himself right out of the discussion.

Do yourself a favor and try asking him where he would like to vacation as a family...........and then listen and respect his opinion

 

[mtblujeans]

Since this thread isn’t really about judging you, or your relationship, or judging your relationship; I asked DH if he had any tips to pass on from one guy to another. The first thing he said was that you and I should meet at WDW and he'll meet your fiance in Las Vegas!

Then, he sat down and made a list:

He says he likes Epcot because he likes the science theme of Future World and the nations with their history and interesting food to try in World Showcase. (I also know he likes the Test Track, too....over and over again.) He feels he may never get to those countries and he enjoys the little taste of their culture that World Showcase provides.

Some of the rides are good, adult fun.

He likes to watch the parades that go thru the Parks each day. He says they are "neat and colorful".

You see people from all cultures and all walks of life and he enjoys that (he's a people-watcher).

Turkey Legs.

He says this is his perspective as a middle-aged man. There are other aspects to it when you have children with you but that is the way he feels about it now (that our kids are grown).

 

[Dreamer8]

First of all, I've read lots of posters saying that Madi is Shamus' daughter too.. do we know that he is the father? He might not be and they're not married yet so he isn't the step father either.

Secondly, to the OP, I'm curious if Disney trips are so important to you, why didn't you ask Shamus about this before you agreed to marry him? If there was a certain vacation destination that I absolutely had to go to every year, I would definitely make sure my future spouse would be on board with that.

That being said, if the OP wants to take her daughter to Disney every year, she is entitled to do so, provided YOU have the money to do it. If you're asking Shamus to foot the bill for the Disney trip and another trip, then I could see why he is upset with that. You said you're a professional couple so I take that to mean you both work? Then come up with some arrangement where you put aside money in a separate bank account for Disney trips and he does the same for wherever he wants to go.. then take it from there.

 

[Colleen27]

How involved is your DF in the hands-on childcare? That's where my DH sometimes doesn't get why I want to keep going back to Disney... I'm a SAHM and the primary caregiver, and that pattern doesn't change when we travel. When we go other places, "divide and conquer" generally ends up being him enjoying the destination with our older kids while I keep the baby from getting bored. I know we'll outgrow the annual trips to Disney at some point but with an almost-3yo there just aren't a lot of other destinations that are as much fun for all of us.

For example, we took a few days up north last summer. DH & the older kids did a dune buggy ride, went hiking in the woods, went golfing, and had a blast. I mostly sat on the beach watching our 2yo splash in about 3" of water because that's as far as she'd get into a very cold Lake Michigan. Yes, she enjoyed it - a kid that age is happy anywhere there's a beach or a playground or a patch of grass to run around - but it wasn't much of a vacation for me. That's fine for a cheap weekend away and the older kids love the one-on-one time with DH who sometimes works crazy hours, but for our big vacations I want places where we can ALL participate and have fun. That simply isn't an option at a lot of the destinations that DH suggests. Even "family friendly" resorts like the ones a previous poster quoted the snippets of aren't really "toddler friendly" - a ski resort, dude ranch, the Bahamas, Hawaii... All pricey trips where a 3yo can't enjoy the vast majority of what is offered, so unless you're willing to find a sitter at your destination one parent ends up sitting out.

Fortunately my DH does enjoy Disney, so our compromise is to stick to those trips for another couple years (Universal, Sea World, and Disney Cruise Line will work their way in there too), then move on to seeing more of the world when it doesn't involve strollers, diapers, and a child too young to partake in so many activities/attractions. We still take smaller non-Disney trips around our area, but to places that we've been before and/or will go back to again, where if I spend the day walking the baby around the Mall while the rest of the family enjoys the Smithsonian or sit on the beach while they snorkel I'm not missing out on something new, exciting, or once-in-a-lifetime.

Have you tried talking to your DF about it from that perspective? If he's anything like my DH, he's hearing "annual pass" and you planning two trips back-to-back and thinking "OMG, we're going to be going to Disney and only Disney forever!". Once DH & I sat down and had a heart-to-heart about the reasons I'm all about Disney for our big trips at this stage of the game he understood a lot better, and knowing that I do intend for us to go elsewhere when the timing is better made a big difference in how he sees our frequent Disney trips right now.

 

[Disney Doll]

Compromise.

Disney isn't the only place in the world to go, and your kid will have great memories of family vacations no matter where you are.

I went on a family vacation every year as a kid, and only one of them was Disney. I have great memories of Storyland, Santaland. climbing Mt.Washington in the car, Pennsylvania Dutch country, Virginia, New Jersey and Disney.

OR put away money for your and your DD's annual Disney trip and don't make your DF go if he doesn't want to. But you still need to go on another fmaily vacation with DF so that he gets a vacation too.

 

[Tikitoi]

We spent many a year going to Disney. We own DVC we love it so much. That said, my DH is tired of constantly going to Disney and has wanted to experience other places. If I had to do it all over again, we'd mix it up more. Now that my kids are grown, there are places we should have gone that we haven't and it's near impossible to get us all together now, so I do have that regret to live with.

This is us now and this is what I am trying to avoid. It is now down to only me and DD going. Our upcoming trip will "most likely" be it for the next couple years. But since our trip to DC, PA and Canada and a Cruise this year I am all for it. More road trips and other places are in our future.

Not to mention there are bigger fish to fry in marriages, if you are following him in the bedroom to yap at him about a vacation , I hate to see how you handle bigger issues. Bedrooms aren't for "discussions " . ; )

ITA. Would never have followed him in the bedroom to continue an argument.

The article posted on the second page of this thread mentioned Circus Circus in Las Vegas as a great family friendly trip. Carnie said it's disgusting. And it is.

It may not be the best place to stay at or eat in Vegas, but it is a nice place to take the kids for the day. To give the kids a break from the "strip".

OP, you have been given some great advice on this thread. I do hope your fiance gets a say in where he wants to vacation. Especially if he is contributing financially towards it. As well as she is his daughter, too.

 

[GinnyEmma]

I think that a less involved or busy dh needs to have a choice even more so than a sahm. Sahms get all the time in the world with their kids. Easy bonding. A dad who works all the time and kids that need him need the time doing things he enjoys with them. Jmo.

 

[mtblujeans]

Give up yet?

 

[klmall]

Totally understand your need to go to Disney with your daughter and I felt that way too! My wonderful DH went with me 9 times but sometimes he really objected and did not enjoy those trips as much later and as a result, it took years to get ready to truly enjoy the next trip with our son who does love Disney! I am a Disneyholic but I love my DH more!!!

I remember that wonderful feeling we had during our first family trip to Disney - it was like nothing else I had ever experienced and we both so wanted to recreate it again. We tried a couple years later and had a nice trip but it wasn't ever and hasn't ever been quite as special, I think particularly for my husband. I have found ways to keep it unique and special for me but for him it isn't the same.

Despite what you read on other threads, you can plan great vacations elsewhere for the same amount of money as a Disney trip or even less $. We have taken our son to the ocean for several different weeks which is DH's favorite vacation (definitely not mine ) but I can deal with it for him!

We have also flown to Denver, then spent three weeks visiting the Rockies, Grand Canyon, Pacific Ocean, Monterey, Disneyland , Lake Tahoe etc. We took him to the Bahamas for a week and he really enjoyed that feeling like he was 'out of the country' for the first time. By the time he graduated from high school and was given his choice of where to travel, he asked to go to Hawaii and I think that was based on his experiences of travelling a little!

I remember once reading a survey that asked high school kids which states they had been too other than their home state and the most frequently mentioned one by far, was Florida. I think that's kind of sad even in this economy considering you can rent a KOA cabin for under $60 a night with electricity and beds and stay near a national park.

And by the way, after a four year absence, DH is mentioning going back to Disney again WITH a visit to HARRY POTTER since we are both fans! With time and care, many reluctant Disney people can become a bit more receptive.

Good luck and please think about pleasing Shamus as well as your daughter.

 

[Andtototoo]

I remember once reading a survey that asked high school kids which states they had been too other than their home state and the most frequently mentioned one by far, was Florida. I think that's kind of sad even in this economy considering you can rent a KOA cabin for under $60 a night with electricity and beds and stay near a national park.

It's only sad if the family would have enjoyed staying in a KOA cabin at a national park. We are city people and have no interest in hiking, camping or fishing.

Different strokes for different folks -- not better or worse, just different -- which is what the OP needs to keep in mind as she and her SO plan family trips.

 

[jodifla]

How involved is your DF in the hands-on childcare? That's where my DH sometimes doesn't get why I want to keep going back to Disney... I'm a SAHM and the primary caregiver, and that pattern doesn't change when we travel. When we go other places, "divide and conquer" generally ends up being him enjoying the destination with our older kids while I keep the baby from getting bored. I know we'll outgrow the annual trips to Disney at some point but with an almost-3yo there just aren't a lot of other destinations that are as much fun for all of us.

For example, we took a few days up north last summer. DH & the older kids did a dune buggy ride, went hiking in the woods, went golfing, and had a blast. I mostly sat on the beach watching our 2yo splash in about 3" of water because that's as far as she'd get into a very cold Lake Michigan. Yes, she enjoyed it - a kid that age is happy anywhere there's a beach or a playground or a patch of grass to run around - but it wasn't much of a vacation for me. That's fine for a cheap weekend away and the older kids love the one-on-one time with DH who sometimes works crazy hours, but for our big vacations I want places where we can ALL participate and have fun. That simply isn't an option at a lot of the destinations that DH suggests. Even "family friendly" resorts like the ones a previous poster quoted the snippets of aren't really "toddler friendly" - a ski resort, dude ranch, the Bahamas, Hawaii... All pricey trips where a 3yo can't enjoy the vast majority of what is offered, so unless you're willing to find a sitter at your destination one parent ends up sitting out.

Fortunately my DH does enjoy Disney, so our compromise is to stick to those trips for another couple years (Universal, Sea World, and Disney Cruise Line will work their way in there too), then move on to seeing more of the world when it doesn't involve strollers, diapers, and a child too young to partake in so many activities/attractions. We still take smaller non-Disney trips around our area, but to places that we've been before and/or will go back to again, where if I spend the day walking the baby around the Mall while the rest of the family enjoys the Smithsonian or sit on the beach while they snorkel I'm not missing out on something new, exciting, or once-in-a-lifetime.

Have you tried talking to your DF about it from that perspective? If he's anything like my DH, he's hearing "annual pass" and you planning two trips back-to-back and thinking "OMG, we're going to be going to Disney and only Disney forever!". Once DH & I sat down and had a heart-to-heart about the reasons I'm all about Disney for our big trips at this stage of the game he understood a lot better, and knowing that I do intend for us to go elsewhere when the timing is better made a big difference in how he sees our frequent Disney trips right now.

This is a great post. WDW is SO appealing with little kids because there are so many things parents and kids can do TOGETHER. That's not the way with so many vacation spots.

Cape Cod is my DH's best vacation spot while WDW is mine (and my DS's, although he likes Cape Cod as well.) Most years, we go to both places. And we've both learned to enjoy all the things that make the vacation spot special to the other person.

Frankly, I wouldn't marry someone who was going to give me a hard time about one of my favorite things. What else will they be trying to deny you down the road?

 

[Robinrs]

This is a great post. WDW is SO appealing with little kids because there are so many things parents and kids can do TOGETHER. That's not the way with so many vacation spots.

Cape Cod is my DH's best vacation spot while WDW is mine (and my DS's, although he likes Cape Cod as well.) Most years, we go to both places. And we've both learned to enjoy all the things that make the vacation spot special to the other person.

Frankly, I wouldn't marry someone who was going to give me a hard time about one of my favorite things. What else will they be trying to deny you down the road?

My parents were married for SIXTY years and had very few things they liked together. But they LOVED each other, their families and their life together. Not agreeing on what someone's "favorite" things is not a deal breaker.

 

[jodifla]

My parents were married for SIXTY years and had very few things they liked together. But they LOVED each other, their families and their life together. Not agreeing on what someone's "favorite" things is not a deal breaker.

In my book, it is if you plan to keep the other person from their favorite thing.

My husband and I have many shared interests. It's what we base our relationship on. And if it's important to my husband, then it's important to me that he gets the opportunity to do it. And vice versa.

 

[Robinrs]

In my book, it is if you plan to keep the other person from their favorite thing.

My husband and I have many shared interests. It's what we base our relationship on. And if it's important to my husband, then it's important to me that he gets the opportunity to do it. And vice versa.

If that is their intention then it's a whole other thing. Not having the same interests can sustain a couple if both people are confident and whole and can deal with their interests on their own.

 

[JENOS]

A vacation can be ANYWHERE that you make great memories with you child and you husband. Sounds to me like Disney if more for your memories than theirs. Try somewhere new, you both make the money and you should both have a say so in how it is spent.

 

[jodifla]

A vacation can be ANYWHERE that you make great memories with you child and you husband. Sounds to me like Disney if more for your memories than theirs. Try somewhere new, you both make the money and you should both have a say so in how it is spent.

With a young kid, not so much. There's pretty long list of vacations that aren't fun with them, actually.

And why doesn't what she wants count? I like WDW, so my husband makes sure it happens. He likes Cape Cod, so I make sure THAT happens.

So if somebody told me...before we were even married....that he was "done" with one of my favorite things...I'd know he was too self-centered for me.

 

[Colleen27]

I think that a less involved or busy dh needs to have a choice even more so than a sahm. Sahms get all the time in the world with their kids. Easy bonding. A dad who works all the time and kids that need him need the time doing things he enjoys with them. Jmo.

But a SAHM deserves a vacation too, not just being "on duty" in a different setting and sitting out the actual fun/relaxation because it isn't child-friendly.

 

[JENOS]

With a young kid, not so much. There's pretty long list of vacations that aren't fun with them, actually.

And why doesn't what she wants count? I like WDW, so my husband makes sure it happens. He likes Cape Cod, so I make sure THAT happens.

So if somebody told me...before we were even married....that he was "done" with one of my favorite things...I'd know he was too self-centered for me.

What she wants does count because she has vacationed there before; he wants to go somewhere new. I have four kids, three who are in the “young category” we have tried so many different vacations (camping, waterparks, Disney, D.C. ECT…) and my kids are happy and make the most of it where ever we are. If you can’t make your kids happy outside of Disney then….well I’ll leave it at that!

He wants something else, SHE SHOULD MAKE SURE THAT HAPPENS…you should send her a PM

 

[mdsoccermom]

With a young kid, not so much. There's pretty long list of vacations that aren't fun with them, actually.

And why doesn't what she wants count? I like WDW, so my husband makes sure it happens. He likes Cape Cod, so I make sure THAT happens.

So if somebody told me...before we were even married....that he was "done" with one of my favorite things...I'd know he was too self-centered for me.

I don't agree at all. There are plenty of fabulous vacations that can be had with young kids all over the world. Though, if you go into something with an attitude that it will be too hard, then it will be. A self-fulfilling prophecy.

It's the OP that's being self-centered. She's not even considering what her husband wants. They've been to Disney alreadu. However, her attitude is Disney or no vacation at all.