Any parents here of children/young adults who've attempted or committed suicide??

[SeaSpray]

The title speaks for itself. Anyone here dealing with a child or young adult child (or even older adult child) who has attempted suicide?? Just wondering how common it really is.

 

[RitaZ.]

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Obviously, from the other thread about carpet and suicide, it is more common than some would tend to believe. Very sad...

I am fortunate enough not to have this in my life, but when I was in high school I lost a very good friend to suicide. So horrible.

 

[Buckalew11]

I have a client who lost her 19yo son to suicide.

He struggled with depression for years. Probably around puberty and the time of his parents' divorce. She got him help and things were better while he was at home on meds seeing doctors. Then, he went to college, stopped taking his meds and got involved with on-line chats with people and suicide groups. terrible.

Before he hung himself in his dorm room, he went to visit a friend of his mom's who'd lost her teen son to a car accident. He did things around the house for her to help her out (things the son probably would have done had he been alive) and then he asked her how she was doing without her son alive. She told him she was coping, getting by but every day she missed him and was very sad. She downplayed her grief to him to keep things "up". However, as soon as she learned he killed himself, she'd wished she had never done that. He was feeling her out to see if she was OK without her son so that he might know if his mom would be OK without him also.

His mom has gone one. She has another son who loves dearly and deserves her to live. She battled cancer and I have no doubt it was brought on by that great stress in her life (JMHO). She's still sad and grieves for him daily--never letting his memory fade. But, she has somehow went on--even alone, as son #2 has grown up and moved and she never remarried.

I don't know what your situation is but I will say a prayer for you, Seaspray, just in case your family is having a crisis. Suicide, attempted, committed or just contemplated is a horrible thing, a hard thing to bear as a parent. We second guess every parenting decision we make anyway, let alone to have over beloved child depressed, sad and feeling like they may not want to or aren't capable of going on.
And if you have a friend/relative who is dealing with this and not yourself, then all I can say is to be there to listen and support. It was all I could and can do for my friend. And I think it may just be enough.

 

[bettyann29]

it is very common.. this affected me last year.. Its the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.. Sometimes I still cry about it..

sending pm..

 

[Jillpie]

omg Terry, are you okay? I think you have sons that are my sons age. Can you tell us what is happening? Big hugs to you.

 

[LoraJ]

No advice, just sending a hug.

 

[paintnolish]

I have a friend who attempted suicide in high school. She took a lot of pills, but she told her friend about it over the phone and said she was going to sleep it off. Her friend called an ambulance and when it showed up at the home, her mom was confused. She had no idea what was going on. Thankfully, that was 16 years ago and she is fine today.

 

[EMom]

No, but I had two male friends who committed suicide. In both cases, their fathers died when they were teenagers and they never got over the depression that followed. In one case, we didn't have a clue he was depressed. It was our first year at college and he always put on a good front. We were in some organizations together. I wish he'd have said something to me because my father died when I was a teen too and maybe I could have helped him.....just having someone who understood, you know? The day he died, a girlfriend and I chatted with him for a few minutes and then we left for lunch while he stopped to use the phone. (pre cell phone days) Apparently, he went straight home and killed himself after that. She and I always wondered if things would have been different had we just asked him to go to lunch with us......

The other guy, I actually met in high school BECAUSE he tried to commit suicide. The same girlfriend as in the story above had a crush on him and I didn't know him. Anyway, he tried to commit suicide and was in the hospital afterward for a while. She wanted to visit him and dragged me along, but did not share WHY he was there. I figured it was an appendix or something..... I could not believe she went to see him and took a complete stranger along, but my friend was bold, if nothing else. And it seemed to cheer him to have 2 girls drop by. After that, we became friends.

As the years went by, he made several more attempts. We realized it was just a matter of time until he succeeded. I'd gotten to know his mother and she was soooooo nice. I hated the thought of what it would do to her to lose a husband and then her son. When he was about 25-26, I was home visiting my mother and the news came on. They said something like, "A man in his mid-20s was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot, in his car in _____ County." I said, "OMG, that's going to be ______." And it was. I had hoped that as the years passed and he got older, he would have somehow learned to cope, but he didn't. Now that I am a mother, my heart breaks for his mother more than ever.

Both of those guys were so sweet and kind. I know they were in pain, but surely they had no idea how much pain they left behind for others. Such a waste.....

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Sadly it was more common than people would care to admit.

When I was at a camp for gifted students in 7th grade, my roommate swallowed a bunch of pills right in front of me. Thankfully she made herself sick so that she would be okay, but it was frightening. She did show some warning signs that summer, but I never recognized them for what they were. Later on two boys in our high school committed suicide a week apart. I think there were warning signs as well, but most people were completely shocked and did not recognize the signs until after the fact.

I went to a special college program for gifted girls (skipped high school) and had two friends in that program who had been suicidal at one point in time or another before coming there. In fact, both of them credited that program with saving their lives because suddenly they were with people who understood what it was like to be different.

So many kids are ashamed of it and hide it, and people don't realize what's going on until after the attempt has been made. Many people don't realize how common it is. There are so many wonderful resources out there. Most schools have counselors who can help not just the child but the family find the resources they need. I don't know what is going on in your life right now, but I would encourage you to talk to the school (or have your friend talk to the school if this is about a friend's family) to get those resources. Hopefully if the child is okay for now they can get the child and the family the help they need to combat this. If the child has passed, they can maybe help the family find appropriate grief counseling to begin the healing process. Sending hugs your way.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Oh Terry, so sorry to read this. Is this what you posted once about not being able to share, my heart so goes out to you. (remembering you from the Poly last May)

Not as a parent, but when I was a teen, one day I was playing tennis with my bf boyfriend. Then 2 nights later he committed suicide because she told him she wanted to end their relationship.

Also a good friends sister when we were growing up tried to throw herself in front of a train. She ended up losing her hand. She then tried this again and lost her life.

I am sure as a parent your heart aches, you don't know what to do, you want to help your child in any way possible. I pray for peace in your situation and that there will be a good and positive outcome. Blessings to you all.

 

[dismom2005]

I don't have any advice just wanted to send along my thoughts to you and your family.

 

[tazdev3225]

Two of my children attempted suicide. They were both later diagnosed as Bi-Polar. My DS was around 14 or 15. He was depressed, not doing well in school and having GF problems. He was also abused by a trusted friend, she isn't any more. Thankfully he came to us after he tried to cut his wrists and we got him the help he needed. My DD was assaulted in school when she was 12 which sent her into a deep depression. She was on medication to help with the depression and one night she swallowed the whole bottle of pills. Thankfully my DS realized it and told us. As a parent I kept asking myself what I did wrong, where did I fail them. I went into therapy to help me cope with their problems, but they also spent several years in therapy. Thankfully neither succeeded they were crying for help. It was a tough road for several years. OP if this was asked because of a personal reason i hope all is well and realize that it isn't your fault and I hope they weren't successful. Most attempts are a cry for help to end the pain they feel.

 

[browneyes106]

I deal with a few mental illnesses bipolar and depression are what I deal with mostly. I have thought about suicide many times and a few times I have admitted it to my mom and she has broke down crying. It was painful for her to hear those times. I have been doing well for the past year and haven't had any suicidal thoughts.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I haven't gone through this, but I've known people who had. I've known people who have attempted suicide as well. I'm a firm believer that talking about it will help. Be sure that you have someone who you can share your feelings with.

SeaSpray, if this is something that you are going through, know that you are in my prayers.

 

[cats mom]

Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among 15 - 24 year olds, so sadly it is far too common.

It's such a tough subject that many people are really uncomfortable talking about it, but that's exactly what is needed.

If a teen is exhibiting warning signs, I think getting professional help is critical.

 

[Rose&Mike]

I have a cousin who was in his 20's who committed suicide reportedly because his GF broke up with him. We've talked to DS for years about what he should do if he ever feels that sad and desparate. It really scares me.

to you Seaspray, for whatever you are going through.

Rose

 

[Erin1700]

Hugs to you if this is something you are dealing with right now.

I do not know anyone personally, although I think my dads cousin might have committed suicide years ago. I do know that in high school, someone did at another school and then they had 5 "copycats" before the year was over. Not sure I like using that word -copycat, but that is what they used and I guess it is a real term used by psychologists when kids start doing it.

 

[gladstoneganderfan]

I deal with a few mental illnesses bipolar and depression are what I deal with mostly. I have thought about suicide many times and a few times I have admitted it to my mom and she has broke down crying. It was painful for her to hear those times. I have been doing well for the past year and haven't had any suicidal thoughts.

to you, the Op, and anyone that this has touched.

 

[lsyorke]

My son(15 at the time) attempted suicide after being on Paxil. His story is one of many and their experiences resulted in the FDA mandating black box warnings for suicide on antidepressants. Safely off paxil he has never been suicidal again(and never was prior to paxil)
It was a hellacious time in all our lives.