Any birthday ideas for someone in grief ??

[EdiePA]

My best friend has a birthday on Sunday, but doesn't want to celebrate. Her fiancee died in an accident in May and the memories of how they celebrated her birthday together last year on a houseboat are just to hard to take.

I have a gift basket ready for her (lots of goodies that she can use just for herself -- no sharing with her two daughers!), but I'm at a loss as to what else to do. I don't want to overstep her wishes if being alone is what she truly wants.

Any ideas?? I just hurt so much for her.

Edie

 

[believe]

I definitely depends on the person. My Mom passed away in January, my brother's B-day was in February...he said he didn't want an ice cream cake, which is what I usually do, but I still took it to him. I left it when he wasn't home and he invited us over when he was ready to celebrate. My Dad's b-day was this month and we celebrated as usual. It was difficult for him, but he made it through. I actually think it helped him.

 

[Serena]

Talk to her. She'll know you care, and that will be good enough for her. Ask what she would like to do, and then honor it.
You're a good friend.

 

[goofy4tink]

I don't know how appropriate this would be in your case but my mom's best friend just sent me a check, in honor of Mom's birthday this coming Monday, to be used for something at church. Mom was the Altar Guild directress and her friend knows how dear she held the church. So, maybe if there is some organization either she or her fiance liked you could make a donation in his name? Otherwise, just be there for her.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

You could add a gift certificate for a manicure, facial, etc. Something relaxing and just for her. Of course maybe she just isn't ready to feel good yet. The basket sounds wonderful and she can use the items as she is ready.

T&B

 

[Octoberbeauty]

Originally posted by goofy4tink
I don't know how appropriate this would be in your case but my mom's best friend just sent me a check, in honor of Mom's birthday this coming Monday, to be used for something at church. Mom was the Altar Guild directress and her friend knows how dear she held the church. So, maybe if there is some organization either she or her fiance liked you could make a donation in his name? Otherwise, just be there for her.

That's a good idea!


My stepdad passed away (suddenly) two weeks before my mom's birthday last year. Two of my sisters in law and I took my mom shopping and out to eat to help take her mind off of it. Just being with family and not in the house helped to curb her grief. It does vary from person to person though.
Hugs,
Sherry

 

[Tinks]

Can you take her out to lunch or coffee? I think your time would be a very good gift, especially if she's still grieving.

 

[JessetheCowgirl]

I think she would appreciate the basket.

I have a relative who we gave a "star" to--you know, where you name a star after someone??? You could name it after her DH. It is really cool--they give you a certificate and the "map" so you can find it.

 

[4greatboys]

Thats a hard call, everyone reacts so differently. When my mom died it was Dec 13 and my birthday was Jan 5. I wasnt in the mood to celebrate anything. We did have a "normal" Christmas for the kids but on my birthday I didnt want anything. It just didnt feel right with my mom not there.
Good luck with your decision.

 

[zaxmom]

I would take her the gift basket and ask if she would like to go out to dinner with you that night. No singing waiters or anything and keep it low key and up to her. You could take the kids with you or arrange for a sitter for them.

 

[Rajah]

Originally posted by zaxmom
I would take her the gift basket and ask if she would like to go out to dinner with you that night. No singing waiters or anything and keep it low key and up to her. You could take the kids with you or arrange for a sitter for them.

And/or see if there's a movie she would like to go see, as well. Something light-hearted.