Any advice for single female meeting male from internet

mark&sue

<font color=teal>I keep trying to convert everybod
Joined
Nov 8, 2004
Messages
5,510
Hi

I wonder if anyone can suggest any guidelines my friend should follow. We are from the UK and she has met a man from US on an internet site who she is going to come over to meet.

He is arranging to meet her in Florida for a week's stay in a hotel in the keys.

She knows nothing about him other than what he has told her. She has his phone number and e:mail address and that seems to be it.

Is there any kind of guidelines she should follow. They will have separate hotel rooms. How can she take the correct safety precautions.

They are mature adults with grown up children and she has been on her own for 20 years and feels she needs an adventure but of course I and her family want to make sure she is as safeas possible in these circumstances.

Any ideas?


Susan
 
When I first met my DH in person, I had my two roommates with me. I wasn't alone withhim until he, I, and my friends thought it was ok. Then again...I was 20 year old college student at the time.

Usually when people meet on the internet, I usually recommend taking someone else you know with you and/or meeting in a public place. However with this situation, I'm not sure how to advise her. It's good they have separate rooms in case they don't click in person. The only thing I can think to suggest to avoid going into each other's rooms until you feel comfortable.
 
There are no correct safety precautions when you are meeting a stranger alone in a foreign country. I would plead with her to meet him on her own turf first.
 
The first thing I thought of is to make sure your friend gives someone all this guys info ~ his name, # & email as well as the hotel info.
 

Btw did she pay for one of the rooms, or did he tell her there are 2 rooms? Because the only way she can be sure there really will be two rooms, is if she paid for it herself.
 
I would never go without another adult. It could be too risky. Maybe she could find somebody to take with her?
 
Apparently he was a bit put off that she wanted them to have two rooms but has now agreed as she was adamant.

She has no one else to go with and her children are not keen on her going at all. (her children have their own young families and would not be able to go) I think she feels this is her chance to get out and do something with her life, before it is too late. I have suggested that she lets him know that she has to call in to her daughter at least once a day.

He has told her that he owns his own construction business and lives in Cape Cod but he has a flat in florida he lets out and wants to go to make sure things are okay and will meet her at either tampa or miami airport and drive them to their holidays destination in either tampa or the keys. I know she would prefer the keys but am not sure driving with a stranger is a good idea??? He will be flying in and picking up a hire car. I thought perhaps she could check out his ID to make sure it matches up when picking up the hire car or is this too ridiculous??? He told her that cape cod is a four hour flight from Tampa. Is this correct?

She is excited but quite anxious too but feels this is too good an opportunity to turn down.

Many thanks for your help.


Susan
 
mark&sue said:
Apparently he was a bit put off that she wanted them to have two rooms but has now agreed as she was adamant.

YOIKES!!! :scared1: :scared1: :scared1:

His wanting to bed-up already should be a warning. Even a true dawg like me wouldn't expect that for a first time meeting. Tell her to procede with extreme caution.
 
Hmmm, if he owns a construction business and has a vacation home, he could probably afford to fly to London to meet her and her family for a day or so, first. I would be sort of leery that he was 'put out' that she didn't automatically want to share a room with him.

Bottom line for me...a man who is going to treat you with respect would not ask anything of you that you are not comfortable with. He also would not want you to take any risks that he wouldn't want his mother or daughter to take. KWIM?
 
Thanks for the seach link. I have e:mailed this to her at work. I would love for her to have a great time but think she should make herself as safe as she can.


Susan
 
This would make me nervous. I would want her to have her own car and own means of transportation.

I wonder if you could start another post here to get someone in Cape Cod to check out the construction firm to see if he is legit. I know there are Cape Cod folks here.
 
mark&sue said:
will meet her at either tampa or miami airport and drive them to their holidays destination in either tampa or the keys. I know she would prefer the keys but am not sure driving with a stranger is a good idea???


This doesn't sound like a very good idea ~ I can see why her family is not very supportive.
I would offer to meet him at the hotel ~ she should get her own transportation.
 
Yes Cape Cod is about 4 hours from Tampa........I have met several people I have met on the internet, including several that lived at the ski destination that I frequent every year and I have to say I have "never" met any weirdos, I did have my own room, since they lived in the area and at the first meeting I always met them somewhere in the open .........like a restaurant or something else public. I know you hear all about all the horror stories but in general I think "most" people are OK.....my mother used to worry about me meeting people from the internet but like I told her you can meet someone completely nice in a church or anywhere else and they too can turn out to be psychos! Besides I have also met several nice people from the disboards "who technically I have met on the net!"
I have to say it is good that they are getting separate rooms.........but may I also suggest heading to Disney for a few days.....the security there is great and it is much more of a public place than say the Keys.......perhaps I just really do not like the Keys all that well, but the more in the open she can be the safer she will feel.
I will say that I also am somewhat of a free spirit and enjoy meeting new people and sometimes maybe I do trust people more than I should but I also know within a few minutes how secure I feel with people.
I also had corresponded with someone from Miami that seemed to be too good to be true.......retired at age 37, owning many properties and travel all over the world........well I did a property search for him and DID find out how much property he did actually own and believe it or not he was on the up and up!
 
She did suggest using public transport instead of a hire car but he dismissed her suggestion. I do understand that florida is the size of UK and public transport may not be as easy as say London.

Thanks for all the suggestions, these are most helpful.


Susan
 
I agree with the other posters. Get this guy's background checked immediately! How does your friend really know he's telling the truth? Sometimes some guys(not all) will just make up stories on the internet to meet with a woman and when they meet up, bad things can happen(rape, murder,etc). Not sayng this is going to happen, but you never know.
I agree, if this guy is really respectful of your friend, he would come to meet her at a public place in the UK, at least another adult can be there with her in her.
In my opinion, this guy sounds a little too seedy and if it were me, I wouldn't go at all. I guess I see too many news report here of women being raped, murdered with meeting up with a man she hardly knows.

I know this sounds exciting to your friend at first, to meet up with someone she really doesn't know, but she better think about all the consequences that could happen, jmo.
 
Breezy_Carol said:
This would make me nervous. I would want her to have her own car and own means of transportation.

I agree. Ideally, this woman should be able to get around FL without relying on him at all.

ETA: When I met my DH the first time, even he as adamant about safety just as I was. We were on the same page. THe fact the guy was surprised about the separate rooms concerns me.
 
The fact that he wasn't thrilled about separate rooms is a big red flag to me. If he reallly respected your friend, he wouldn't have remarked on it at all.

I'd be having second thoughts if I were her.
 
I did say to her that I thought Cape Cod was a tourist destination and that she should meet him there but she did not want to go to his house.

It does sound bad. Her internet is down this weekend so will phone her tomorrow with these suggestions as they are really helpful. (It is DH birthday today and we are out tonight)

I feel that her mind is made up as she is so looking forward to a holiday somewhere warm.

I really do hope it works out for as she is such a kind and thoughtful lady that deserves some sunshine in her life. I too suggested she meet at WDW but she is "not one of us"!!!


Susan
 


Receive up to $1,000 in Onboard Credit and a Gift Basket!
That’s right — when you book your Disney Cruise with Dreams Unlimited Travel, you’ll receive incredible shipboard credits to spend during your vacation!
CLICK HERE








DIS Facebook DIS youtube DIS Instagram DIS Pinterest DIS Tiktok DIS Twitter DIS Bluesky

Back
Top Bottom