Any advice for single female meeting male from internet

[poohandwendy]

It is hard for most people to really understand what it is like to be a "middle aged" person looking to meet people .......most of the people that have advice are usually sitting in their nice homes with a great husband that they met in their 20's or 30's or at college or work. It is not easy to meet people in your 40's and that is why the internet thing has gotten so big. We can all make judgements about others using the internet but here we all are using the internet to meet and talk with other people on the internet and I know "we" are not all kooks and weirdos. And yes there are horror stories but there are also horror stories of people who have known one another for years.

I really do not think anyone is making a judgement about internet dating. We are all cautioning meeting someone alone, thousands of miles outside of your element.
I actually think the internet is a GREAT tool to meet people and can be a safe one too, but this circumstance (as it stands) does not sound safe for the woman.

The same people who are so afraid are also the same people who would probably not even eat at a restaurant by themselves, I give your friend alot of credit for wanting to meet people and have an adventure!

LOL, I eat alone in restaurants all of the time. If I am hungry and no one is with me, I don't think twice about it.

I also give her credit for being adventurous, but there is a fine line between adventurous and foolish. Being foolish is what people are trying to tell her to avoid.

 

[froglady]

as I stated earlier, what's to stop him from giving the legitimate name of a business and the owners name, it doesn't prove that he is that person..

Obviously, he could lie about it, BUT at least he would suspect that there's a chance he might get found out. He would have to be sure that 1. he gives the correct name of the owner of the construction company he names 2. that person has to match his general discription (she has a photo) 3. that person has to be unmarried 4. that person may or may not be known by someone on this forum, who could back up or discredit his story.

If he expects her to travel to another country to see him, but won't even tell her the name of his company, she doesn't have to look any further...he's hiding something.

 

[lucyanna girl]

I could tell you I was King Kong and send you a picture of him. As I tell my DD, never trust your life on a stranger's words. If possible maybe she could contact the local police with this story and ask them for the name of a local person like an investigator you could accompany her to meet this man. He could be passed of as someone she meet on the plane or a distant relative.

 

[roseprincess]

Hi

I wonder if anyone can suggest any guidelines my friend should follow. We are from the UK and she has met a man from US on an internet site who she is going to come over to meet.

He is arranging to meet her in Florida for a week's stay in a hotel in the keys.

She knows nothing about him other than what he has told her. She has his phone number and e:mail address and that seems to be it.

Is there any kind of guidelines she should follow. They will have separate hotel rooms. How can she take the correct safety precautions.

They are mature adults with grown up children and she has been on her own for 20 years and feels she needs an adventure but of course I and her family want to make sure she is as safeas possible in these circumstances.

Any ideas?


Susan

Hi Sue,
Did your friend meet up with this guy yet? You hadn't said on any of your posts what month or days they were supposed to meet? Just curious if your friend went ahead and met with him and what happened? Just following thru of what happened from the situation?

 

[CathrynRose]

It seemed to me he was being a bit tight about the rooms because he told her they could put a screen up between the beds and not do anything if she didn't want to.


Susan

A screen up between the beds??? Huh?

This sounds creepy and weird. I met someone off the internet YEARS ago - 10 to be exact. He flew up here, had no intentions of me being uncomfortable at all.

I dont like this. And Ive met someone online, in real life. I really dont like this ....

 

[CathrynRose]

There is NO WAY on this earth that I'd get in a car and ride from Tampa to the Keys with a stranger (male or female).

.

No kidding - there's a loooong strip of Everglades between Tampa and the keys - desolate, and a great place to dump a body. (and Im not attempting to be mean, or frighten you, but it's true!)

Why doesnt she fly into Miami????

 

[pammypooh]

I hope you can convince your friend that her safety should be her first priority. Excitement and adventure are all well and good, but what if this guy is a worse case scenerio. I agree with the previous posters that there are more than a couple of red flags here. Personally, I would want to have not only seperate rooms, but seperate hotels. (Just in case)

If he is in Cape Cod, what about a visit to Boston? Lots of attractions in a beautiful city with great public transit.

If she is set on a warm climate, what about Las Vegas?

Whatever she decides, I hope she stays safe.

Pam

 

[goofygirl]

Forgive me, but:

Is she OUT OF HER COTTON-PICKIN' MIND??!!


Flying alone to a foreign country to meet a total stranger in a hotel room is NOT cool! Does she want to be another missing person?


She should get to know him better, then he can come to her turf where she can meet him in a public place with her friends and/or family in tow.

 

[goofygirl]

It is hard for most people to really understand what it is like to be a "middle aged" person looking to meet people .......most of the people that have advice are usually sitting in their nice homes with a great husband that they met in their 20's or 30's or at college or work. It is not easy to meet people in your 40's and that is why the internet thing has gotten so big. We can all make judgements about others using the internet but here we all are using the internet to meet and talk with other people on the internet and I know "we" are not all kooks and weirdos. And yes there are horror stories but there are also horror stories of people who have known one another for years.
This woman defineately needs to take precautions......number 1 doing some research to see if he is married, You can search public records for alot of that information as well as if truely does own a business and if owns property. She must also make sure she is traveling to a safe area, this thing about either Tampa or the Keys has me worried..........I would want to know exactly where I was going, I would want to take a taxi to the resort on my own and I would do a search on the property where I was staying. I would also leave all infomation on the man with friends and family. I would really feel safe if she was heading to Disney more so than the Keys...........I can only speak from my experience but as I have said I have met alot of nice people although none have been Prince Charming I still am friends with many.I also work with a man from London who met his wife on the internet , he now lives here, and he is not a kook! I just think she needs a safer more open and definite place to meet him. I hope she is paying for her end of the trip and knows exactly what she is getting into..........otherwise tell her to stay home! The same people who are so afraid are also the same people who would probably not even eat at a restaurant by themselves, I give your friend alot of credit for wanting to meet people and have an adventure!

Its not any easier to meet someone when in your 20's and 30's, I know that firsthand.

True, not all people online are nuts, but you have to be sooo careful. Whever I met someone from the net, I met them close to home, in a public place, with friends nearby in the same place.

I know its hard to meet people. But isnt being lonely better than being dead?

 

[roseprincess]

I know its hard to meet people. But isnt being lonely better than being dead?

That's what I was thinking since the OP posted about her friend and this guy.

Who really wants to be another missing person, or missing dead person and be on the show, On The Record With Greta van Susteren? How many women really want to be the next Laci Peterson or Natalie Halloway?

IMO, if Susan's friend wants to meet someone online, probably best to go thru eHarmony.com internet dating service. That one is pretty reputable.
and it is an internet dating service for older people too, not just people in their 20's.

 

[Hercules10]

How many women really want to be the next Laci Peterson or Natalie Halloway?

....wasn't Laci murdered by her hubby of so many years? Or am I thinking of some other gal?

 

[MICKEY88]

Obviously, he could lie about it, BUT at least he would suspect that there's a chance he might get found out. He would have to be sure that 1. he gives the correct name of the owner of the construction company he names 2. that person has to match his general discription (she has a photo) 3. that person has to be unmarried 4. that person may or may not be known by someone on this forum, who could back up or discredit his story.

If he expects her to travel to another country to see him, but won't even tell her the name of his company, she doesn't have to look any further...he's hiding something.

who says the picture is actually him.. as far as a business goes,,,any guy with a hammer that knows how to use it, can have a legit construction business, that doesn't mean there would be a business address and such...

 

[Tiggerlover91]

Hi

I wonder if anyone can suggest any guidelines my friend should follow. We are from the UK and she has met a man from US on an internet site who she is going to come over to meet.

He is arranging to meet her in Florida for a week's stay in a hotel in the keys.

She knows nothing about him other than what he has told her. She has his phone number and e:mail address and that seems to be it.

Is there any kind of guidelines she should follow. They will have separate hotel rooms. How can she take the correct safety precautions.

They are mature adults with grown up children and she has been on her own for 20 years and feels she needs an adventure but of course I and her family want to make sure she is as safeas possible in these circumstances.

Any ideas?


Susan

Alright, I'm just gonna say it....she should NOT go...period. There are better ways to meet the "right" man. From reading your other post, that disturbs me that he was "put out" because she wanted 2 rooms....DANGER WILL ROBINSON....DANGER!! He also told her no on a public form of transportation! YIKES!! Your friend will end up so badly hurt whether it be physically or emotionally if she's not more careful! SHE SHOULD NOT GO!!!!!!!!!

 

[swilphil]

I agree. He should fly over to meet her if he's serious about the relationship.

If she insists on going, she should make her own transportation arrangements and her own hotel accomodations. I like the camera phone idea and talking to someone when she meets him. She also definitely should do a background check on him.

 

[AMcaptured]

If she was my friend, I would be very worried for her safety, however, I believe this guy is married. His wife is probably visiting her parents or a girlfriend in Tampa and he told his wife he is going to go and check on their property down in the Keys ( if he even has property there, not sure if I believe that line either considering half the Keys had bad hurricane damage this summer ) and its his chance for a little tete a tete....

Also, does she have his cell phone number or his house phone number? If she only has his cell phone number, he is married, JMO

 

[roseprincess]

....wasn't Laci murdered by her hubby of so many years? Or am I thinking of some other gal?

That was Laci. I just meant in my last post, that Greta Van Susteren's show on the Fox News Channel focuses on missing women and men, whether they are married(Laci Peterson), single(Natalie Halloway). Now Greta is focusing lately on that George Smith guy, the one that is missing from that cruise ship from July '05, sailed near Turkey.

 

[TDC Nala]

Getting into a car with someone you don't know who isn't a taxi driver = bad idea.

They should be meeting in a public place.

 

[drakethib]

There are no correct safety precautions when you are meeting a stranger alone in a foreign country. I would plead with her to meet him on her own turf first.

Agree

 

[mark&sue]

My friend told me today that she has now changed her mind as she was put off by him being to domineering about the hotel rooms.

I advised her of the suggestions and liked the ones about him coming here first or maybe going in the summer to Cape Cod and staying in a hotel there while he stays at his house.

He has asked her to go to this house so I don't think he is married.

Her daughter has made the same suggestions as many on here and she seems to have come to her senses.

Thanks for everyone's help.



Susan

 

[Rajah]

*wonderful* news. This one was making me nervous. I hope she finds someone, though.