Another Wedding Spinoff--Alcohol at Reception

[aristocatz]

It's been many years since I've been to a reception with a cash bar, and I don't remember if there's a proper etiquette.

If a couple has a cash bar, should this be indicated to guests in advance, either on the invitation itself, or as an insert card in the invitation? Or should nothing be said and let the guests be surprised?

The same applies if ONLY wine and beer will be available. (No hard liquor available even for purchase).

Or if it's going to be a totally dry reception, should this also be announced in advance?

I personally would never have a cash bar, but I'm OK with people who do. But I WOULD like to know about it ahead of time.

We had an open bar at our wedding. The last wedding I attended, they had an open bar for cocktail hour, and it then transitioned to a cash bar after that. We were pretty annoyed that this was not noted on the invitation or wedding website. Had we known, we would have brought some cash to enjoy a few drinks with dinner.

 

[BellsFam]

Our wedding had a cash bar, our bar made more than we received as gifts, and we were lucky enough to get a LOT! There is NO way we could have afforded that,(we paid for our own wedding).

While I appreciate an open bar, it is not expected.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

We did free beer, soda and coffee/tea. Anything else was on your own. Beer/wine included and hard liquor being cash, sometimes with an open bar cocktail hour thrown in, are pretty common here in Wisconsin. I haven't been to many weddings with an open bar all night.

Who knew I was committing a major etiquette breach by not detailing this on my pretty wedding invitation.

The only reason we expanded beyond free beer is because DW & I both HATE beer & figured we weren't alone in that opinion LOL

 

[spinandmarty]

Sorry this was a reply to sonnyjane, I dont post much and forgot to quote....Simple, in serious need of gas, filled truck with gas, computers down cash only. Granted they should have told me on this one that computer was down. meeting friends for dinner small town middle of no where, no cards accepted, closet ATM 15 miles away, of the 8 of us eating wife and I were the only ones with money, guess who bought? both have happened to me in last 3 months... Several of smaller local places that have taken cards in the past or going back to cash only...

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Can you give an example of an emergency scenario that would require $50 cash where cards couldn't be used? (Legitimately curious to see if I'm missing something). If I am going somewhere that tipping is involved, or buying something on Craigslist etc. I'll have cash, but otherwise I prefer debit.

Just a few months ago, I was in a restaurant & the card reader went down. I was like 9th or 10th in line to pay, but I had cash. So, I went straight to the front of the line.

 

[Skywalker]

I agree that some notice of the arrangements should be given to guests. I remember attending a wedding in my early 20's where I was truly at a loss for words that there was a "cash bar" because I had honestly in all my years of going to family and friend weddings had never encountered it before. I seriously didn't even know it was "a thing". I had zero cash on me and I remember thinking the bride and groom must really be poor to do this lol. Now, I know better but I was shocked at the time. If I had known, I would have ensured I had money on me but I thought I was being clever leaving my purse at home and travelling light lol. So yeah, if people are gonna need money to attend you function at least let them know.

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

Last wedding I went to, I was not happy I had to pay for soda- I heard via family that there will be no open bar at all but I assumed at least soda was covered. Only tap water was free! If you can afford to have it at a country club, you can afford to offer a soda bar at least especially when I know you spent a lot of money on wedding decor like table numbers.. I just thought it was so cheap and tacky, maybe because I had an open bar for my wedding the whole night or every wedding I've been to has had an open soda bar. So I would definitely like an indication at least on your wedding website or via "telephone" if alcohol or even soda is not covered.

 

[sonnyjane]

Just a few months ago, I was in a restaurant & the card reader went down. I was like 9th or 10th in line to pay, but I had cash. So, I went straight to the front of the line.

I've worked in a restaurant and if we had a power outage or technical glitch like that, believe it or not, we let everyone currently seated eat on the house. Not their fault they can't pay if they don't have cash.

Bottom line is this economy is moving more and more away from cash. Where I work currently we are cashless - everything is done with cards. We use SQUARE registers which means we operate off of cell reception, and even if the power went out, so long as our iPads had power, we'd still be okay. There are some small businesses that are cash only, and there are some places where that type of business can still exist because of their traditional clientele, but they are alienating a large portion of consumers if they choose not to accept cards because of a nominal fee. Our SQUARE fee is 2.75%, so for $100 in sales we pay $2.75 in fees. That's a heck of a lot better than turning a potential $100 away.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I've worked in a restaurant and if we had a power outage or technical glitch like that, believe it or not, we let everyone currently seated eat on the house. Not their fault they can't pay if they don't have cash.

Bottom line is this economy is moving more and more away from cash. Where I work currently we are cashless - everything is done with cards. We use SQUARE registers which means we operate off of cell reception, and even if the power went out, so long as our iPads had power, we'd still be okay. There are some small businesses that are cash only, and there are some places where that type of business can still exist because of their traditional clientele, but they are alienating a large portion of consumers if they choose not to accept cards because of a nominal fee.

Well, that's all well & good, but it's not how THIS place handled it. And while we may be moving closer & closer to a cashless society, we're not 100% there.

Edit: None of the schools that hosted DD's volleyball tournaments this Spring accepted plastic for admissions or concessions.

 

[bcla]

It wasn't on our invitations. We did bring our own Champagne, but that was only for the toast and strangely enough very few wanted to partake.

We were in a restaurant where we only had half of the restaurant and the other half was open to regular customers. The bar was on our side and not closed off. Although we had a partition, there was a way for regular customers to go to the bar and buy a drink, as well as supply drink orders from tables. I don't know if anyone in our party chose to do so.

 

[RedAngie]

Well, that's all well & good, but it's not how THIS place handled it. And while we may be moving closer & closer to a cashless society, we're not 100% there.
.

Are you aware of how that place handled it? Keep everybody captive until their registers came back up? Send one member of the party to a nearby ATM for cash? Resort to the old method of running the credit cards on triplicate slips through the manual embosser?

 

[bcla]

I've worked in a restaurant and if we had a power outage or technical glitch like that, believe it or not, we let everyone currently seated eat on the house. Not their fault they can't pay if they don't have cash.

Bottom line is this economy is moving more and more away from cash. Where I work currently we are cashless - everything is done with cards. We use SQUARE registers which means we operate off of cell reception, and even if the power went out, so long as our iPads had power, we'd still be okay. There are some small businesses that are cash only, and there are some places where that type of business can still exist because of their traditional clientele, but they are alienating a large portion of consumers if they choose not to accept cards because of a nominal fee. Our SQUARE fee is 2.75%, so for $100 in sales we pay $2.75 in fees. That's a heck of a lot better than turning a potential $100 away.

One time the power went out downtown and the boss suggested we go to a local watering hole where drinks were on the company. Of course they didn't have power either, and wouldn't take a hundred. Kind of sucked. I work in an industry where basically all work stops without power or even without A/C. In several places we were told to just go home. Without A/C computer servers will overheat. Going our for beer during a power outage is extremely common.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Are you aware of how that place handled it? Keep everybody captive until their registers came back up? Send one member of the party to a nearby ATM for cash? Resort to the old method of running the credit cards on triplicate slips through the manual embosser?

I've seen it a couple ways - one other place did triplicate. I'm not sure what was going on here. It was a Chinese restaurant & as is the norm around here, there was a language barrier. All I know is I had cash & that got me to the front of the line LOL

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

I've seen it a couple ways - one other place did triplicate. I'm not sure what was going on here. It was a Chinese restaurant & as is the norm around here, there was a language barrier. All I know is I had cash & that got me to the frog of the line LOL

Gumbo, you need to get you princess (your wife) to give you a kiss...you accidently turned yourself into a frog.

 

[mummabear]

I've never been to a dry wedding (anyone in our group would have thought some had lost their mind)

It is standard here for it to be beer or wine only ( I am a spirit drinker), and to have a bar limit, although I've never been to a wedding where the limit has been hit.

I think if it's a cash bar (particularly if you mean literally cash no eftpos) then it should be noted with the invitation (on it or in a note)

I always remember a friends wedding who had a little insert with their invite that advised in the most polite way that:
- no kids were welcome
- the could arrange a bus from the city to their rural venue for those that were interested and that the cost would be x with minimum numbers required
- that they would be out getting their photos done for x amount of time between the wedding and reception ( held at same venue) and that there was clay bird shooting and a driving range available for x cost

I thought it was very well handled

 

[georgina]

Most weddings I have been to have been evenly split cash & open. Some had open for a specific time, some not at all. I have never thought it was poor etiquette, why should the couple have to foot my drinks?

Because they are the ones throwing the party? We always provide for our guests.

I've never seen anyone charge for shuttle buses for guests either as mentioned above.

 

[CPanther95]

I've never been to a dry wedding (anyone in our group would have thought some had lost their mind)

It is standard here for it to be beer or wine only ( I am a spirit drinker), and to have a bar limit, although I've never been to a wedding where the limit has been hit.

I think if it's a cash bar (particularly if you mean literally cash no eftpos) then it should be noted with the invitation (on it or in a note)

I always remember a friends wedding who had a little insert with their invite that advised in the most polite way that:
- no kids were welcome
- the could arrange a bus from the city to their rural venue for those that were interested and that the cost would be x with minimum numbers required
- that they would be out getting their photos done for x amount of time between the wedding and reception ( held at same venue) and that there was clay bird shooting and a driving range available for x cost

I thought it was very well handled

Nobody ever complains about getting too much info. Never understood why more people don't just spell out as many details as possible - even if it is just an added printed page thrown into the invitation. With an event that generally has a wide variety of people, ages, lifestyles... you can save many people a lot of hassle by just letting them know exactly what is going on. People have an infinite number of dietary/medical/pharmaceutical/digestive tract/children/anxiety/sleep, etc., etc., etc. issues and the better you layout exactly what is going on and what will be available for that 8 or 9 hour period, the better everyone can prepare themselves to enjoy themselves to the fullest.

And selfishly, you save yourself from endless phone calls to explain the same basic details to all your guests.

 

[mummabear]

Nobody ever complains about getting too much info. Never understood why more people don't just spell out as many details as possible - even if it is just an added printed page thrown into the invitation. With an event that generally has a wide variety of people, ages, lifestyles... you can save many people a lot of hassle by just letting them know exactly what is going on. People have an infinite number of dietary/medical/pharmaceutical/digestive tract/children/anxiety/sleep, etc., etc., etc. issues and the better you layout exactly what is going on and what will be available for that 8 or 9 hour period, the better everyone can prepare themselves to enjoy themselves to the fullest.

And selfishly, you save yourself from endless phone calls to explain the same basic details to all your guests.

Exactly, and nothing becaomes less rude by sticking your head in the sand.

 

[powellrj]

We had a dry wedding. I don't think anyone was expecting alcohol because we are pretty churchy and have never served alcohol at any event we hosted, I was under age and our church was dry.

 

[superme80]

I can count the amount of weddings I have been to that have had alcohol on one hand. One was at a restaurant and I found out AFTER I ordered, I had to pay for my drink. Not too happy about that. The first wedding with alcohol was an open bar that didn't card. As an 18 year old, I was thrilled. I had a dry wedding. I am Southern Baptist and my church does not allow alcohol. They let us dance, so I was fine with it.