Another Wedding Spinoff--Alcohol at Reception

[georgina]

Maybe the impure bride should wear a giant scarlet letter on her white gown. S, or W, or T, or I'm sure there's an apt adjective for every letter of the alphabet.

Sure, as long as we label the groom too!

Cpanther mentioned veils? Who wears veils anymore?

 

[CPanther95]

Maybe the impure bride should wear a giant scarlet letter on her white gown. S, or W, or T, or I'm sure there's an apt adjective for every letter of the alphabet.

A red dress shirt would do the trick.

 

[mummabear]

I don't equate food with alcohol. I eat most meals without alcohol.

Inviting people to a bbq then not serving bbq, would be a big deal.

But I don't invite people to alcohol parties. So not serving alcohol wouldn't be a big deal.

I guess it really comes down to, what do people who expect alcohol to be served, do when it isn't?

Get better friends

 

[Hikergirl]

Seems like there would be a lot of drinking and driving going on if every event you go to has alcohol.

I would love to have a personal breathalyzer so I could see exactly how much I could drink before I was legally impaired. But, unless I wait a while after one drink I feel a little too impaired to drive perfectly safely.

Just because there is alcohol being served doesn't mean its an all out drunk fest. A couple beers, glasses of wine or a margarita in the course of a few hours isn't going to be a big deal. Also, just because there is alcohol it doesn't mean that every driver is drinking. If my dh wants to have a couple beers, or more, I know to have a glass of wine and be done. There are also plenty of under 21 kids that could be DD's if ever the need should arise.
The key is to know your limit, and most responsible people do and would never think of driving if they are impaired. There are exceptions but luckily in my circle of family and friends there aren't.

 

[Aliceacc]

For what it's worth, parties here include alcohol for the adults.

I've never seen anyone drunk at a house party. And I've rarely seen it at weddings; I honestly can't remember the last time I saw anyone drunk.

Yes, I'll have a glass of wine at a party. Maybe two if it's a wedding. But then I'll switch to soda... at least 2 hours before the end of the party. Whether I'm driving or not. My husband does the same thing. But I do not have a third. I'm an adult; I have no desire to be drunk or to be in the company of people who are drunk.

Apparently some who don't drink think that booze has some mystical power, leaving everyone who drinks unable to know their limits. And I will acknowledge that it's an issue for people who are alcoholics.

But the vast majority of people are perfectly capable of having a drink, or two, and then no more.

I serve alcohol at parties because my family and friends tend to enjoy that glass of wine or that cold beer. And I serve coffee for those who prefer coffee. And I serve soda, both regular and diet, for people who prefer that. I serve both sugar and Sweet n Low. I serve a number of different types of salad dressing, and a variety of desserts. In my book, it's part of being an accommodating hostess.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Just because there is alcohol being served doesn't mean its an all out drunk fest. A couple beers, glasses of wine or a margarita in the course of a few hours isn't going to be a big deal. Also, just because there is alcohol it doesn't mean that every driver is drinking. If my dh wants to have a couple beers, or more, I know to have a glass of wine and be done. There are also plenty of under 21 kids that could be DD's if ever the need should arise.
The key is to know your limit, and most responsible people do and would never think of driving if they are impaired. There are exceptions but luckily in my circle of family and friends there aren't.

And maybe that's my problem. Since I become impaired so quickly, that colors my view? Plus, I know quite a few people who will not stop at a couple of drinks and I'm assuming that there would be at least a few of them at each event.

And, then, too, maybe my thinking is a bit muddled because I just found out an old friend of mine who was an alcoholic died from a fall in her home (I have no idea if she was drunk at the time, but she was only 48).

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Get better friends

Really?

What a childish response.

My friends simply don't serve alcohol at every occasion. Nor do I.

We aren't asking you to attend out parties.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Really?

What a childish response.

My friends simply don't serve alcohol at every occasion. Nor do I.

We aren't asking you to attend out parties.

It was clearly a joke.

People (in general, not calling out anyone) get so uptight on these alcohol thread.
It's kind of funny because the people that seem so against alcohol and so judgemental also seem super uptight in general.

 

[CPanther95]

My friends simply don't serve alcohol at every occasion. Nor do I.

We aren't asking you to attend out parties.

That's the key. As long as you know all the people you are inviting well, and they are like minded, obviously there's no issue. However, the vast majority of the American public would assume a cookout or BBQ would include beer just as much - if not more - than they'd assume there will be at least one side dish, or chips, to go along with their hot dog/burger/BBQ.

 

[sunshinehighway]

That's the key. As long as you know all the people you are inviting well, and they are like minded, obviously there's no issue. However, the vast majority of the American public would assume a cookout or BBQ would include beer just as much - if not more - than they'd assume there will be at least one side dish, or chips, to go along with their hot dog/burger/BBQ.

For most cookouts I go to It's byob. It doesn't matter if it's friends or family that just seems to be the norm. It's easier because people like all different things.
The host will usually have a little extra ( a pitcher of sangria and basic beer like bud) but most people know to byob.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

That's the key. As long as you know all the people you are inviting well, and they are like minded, obviously there's no issue. However, the vast majority of the American public would assume a cookout or BBQ would include beer just as much - if not more - than they'd assume there will be at least one side dish, or chips, to go along with their hot dog/burger/BBQ.

A cookout or bbq, sure, there would be something. Probably not beer, but simply because we don't drink it, and we wouldn't think about it. If someone brought it, we would send it home with them, again, because we don't drink beer.

But not a child's birthday party or a baby shower held at noon.

And just to note, I drink. I'm not against alcohol. I simply don't serve it at every meal, party or get together.

 

[Hikergirl]

A cookout or bbq, sure, there would be something. Probably not beer, but simply because we don't drink it, and we wouldn't think about it. If someone brought it, we would send it home with them, again, be we don't drink beer.

But not a child's birthday party or a baby shower held at noon.

And just to note, I drink. I'm not against alcohol. I simply don't serve it at every meal, party or get together.

To me there is no difference between a get together for a BBQ or a child's birthday or a shower. Its the same people (close family and friends I mean). Times and locations are the same if its held at your house. The event doesn't make a difference to me whether or not I offer alcohol to the people that are there. I know they drink it, so its available if they would like it.

 

[fly girl]

Wow, who knew alcohol at parties would be a hot button issue? (although this is the DIS, )

I've been to one dry wedding. Mother of the bride insisted that no alcohol was to be served. The grooms family was Irish Catholic. That didn't fly well with the grooms family, and the mother of the groom fell ill with the fake champagne. It was a mess. But the sister of the groom set up a makeshift bar in the back of her car. I kid you not, the party was in the parking lot. It was weird. And trust me, at this awkward wedding (FYI the marriage didn't last) you WANTED a rum & coke.

I get that some people don't drink for various reasons, that's cool. Whatever works for you.

What I don't understand is why would you think negatively about someone you don't know drinking?

I'm not shaming you for not drinking, so why shame me for it? I'm not getting hammered and making a fool of myself, so why would you see me in a negative light?

I understand some have bad connotations with alcohol, but you cannot project that to individuals you don't know.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

To me there is no difference between a get together for a BBQ or a child's birthday or a shower. Its the same people (close family and friends I mean). Times and locations are the same if its held at your house. The event doesn't make a difference to me whether or not I offer alcohol to the people that are there. I know they drink it, so its available if they would like it.

But for us there is a difference.

People that are invited to a birthday party may or may not be the same that are invited to a bbq.

 

[cabanafrau]

I feel I should inform those of you so opposed to imbibing or serving alcohol, in addition to brewing beer himself it's pretty common that my DH receive beer for Christmas and other occasions as his main gift. Many of the bottles range up to $30 or so apiece. Of course it's also not uncommon for several of those bottles to remain unopened after the next few Christmases or birthdays roll around again if they are of the variety that can be aged well and are packaged in a way he knows air will not infiltrate the brew. My husband also got yelled at by his doctor this week when he went in for a check up -- because he hadn't informed the doc he was coming in and the doc has a bottle of brew he's been saving for my husband as a thank you for all of the home brews DH brings into the doc over the years for him to sample. We either have a completely incompetent and inappropriate doctor, or DH's beer consumption doesn't seem to be raising any alarms with the doc.

It's also not uncommon for him to get together with a few of his friends for the sole purpose of drinking beer, with some socializing to accompany the main agenda of drinking beer, nary so much as a snack in sight. Of course it's also not uncommon for those evenings to result in a total of four or five beers being opened during that get together because they each sample a sampler size drink from each brew they're tasting that evening, whether home brewed or purchased craft brew. Socializing and friendships almost exclusively built up around the consumption of alcohol. Feel free to judge that if you so wish.

Consumption of alcohol doesn't automatically lead to drunken, out of control behavior.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Socializing and friendships almost exclusively built up around the consumption of alcohol.

I thought that was the only way it was done.

 

[Hikergirl]

But for us there is a difference.

People that are invited to a birthday party may or may not be the same that are invited to a bbq.

I know, just stating my feelings that is all. Neither of us is wrong.

 

[mummabear]

Really?

What a childish response.

My friends simply don't serve alcohol at every occasion. Nor do I.

We aren't asking you to attend out parties.

Omg lighten up. Maybe you and your friends need a drink.

Seriously you won't invite mento your parties? Gee whiz they sound so fun

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Omg lighten up. Maybe you and your friends need a drink.

Seriously you won't invite me to your parties? Gee whiz they sound so fun

No, thank you, I don't need a drink.

And as I have said, I drink. And so do my friends.

We simply don't have alcohol at every single party we have.

 

[mummabear]

No, thank you, I don't need a drink.

And as I have said, I drink. And so do my friends.

We simply don't have alcohol at every single party we have.

And are super judgy of that fact.