Another wedding attire question ....

[1stluvispooh]

OP I was a bride the same situation. My mom literally got her dress the Thursday before my Saturday wedding! My MIL and I went shopping together for her dress. It was a great bonding time. I would ask your DIL to be to go shopping with you. Tell her you would like her in put on the dress.

On a side note if the mother is like mine be there to support your future DIL. I have a feeling that she is a lot like my mom and well lets just say didn't make the whole wedding planning fun.

 

[Becky2005]

I agree with others, if the bride doesn't care, then the bride doesn't care.

I know my MIL asked me what my mom was wearing when we got married and I had the most quizzical look on my face because it never dawned on me that they were supposed to check with each other to coordinate. LOL!!!!!

I wouldn't have cared what my MIL wore to the wedding as long as it was something that looked nice. My mom was having her dress made, so no way could I have told her exactly anyway. She mostly wanted to know if my mom was wearing a long or short dress. It wouldn't have mattered to me if one was wearing long & one was wearing short, etc...

 

[kaytieeldr]

OP here. Can we get back to the original question? I just wanted some ideas as far as colors I should be looking for.

Not bashing the bride's mom at all -- it's her choice. I just can't put off my shopping any longer and I just want to co-ordinate for the photos -- not stick out like a sore thumb. Maybe I should just be the old-fashioned Mom of the Groom who keeps her mouth shut and wears beige (truly, not a good color for me.)

Edie

Get the dress YOU like. I'd be more concerned with the dress matching not the color of the bride's mother's dress, but the dress itself. This one sounds as if it would coordinate nicely with the bridal party, but still be unique enough that the odds of the bride's mother getting the exact same dress are virtually nil.

When my brother got married, the bride wore ivory, her sole attendant wore black, and the moms could choose either color - as IF either one would wear black to their child's wedding, even on a Saturday night I knew there was no way the two women would choose the same dress, and while shopping with a friend one night found the perfect dress for my mom. On sale

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Go for what makes you look and feel great. Seems like you like the brown dress, go for it!

 

[NotUrsula]

I know my MIL asked me what my mom was wearing when we got married and I had the most quizzical look on my face because it never dawned on me that they were supposed to check with each other to coordinate. LOL!!!!!

Actually, the point of this is that they are NOT supposed to coordinate, in a matter of speaking. The tradition is that the MOTB gets her first choice of color, and then the MOTG makes it a point to choose something that is not that color, so as to make it easier for guests to tell them apart. You should be able to tip someone off that the MOTG "is the one in the green dress", etc. Length should be coordinated, but that should sort of happen naturally, based on the time of day the wedding is held and how formal it is.

It is a kindness to also attempt not to clash with the official colors of the wedding party, for the sake of nicer photos, but that isn't the reason behind the tradition. It is kind of thoughtless of the MOTB to wait until the last minute to choose, knowing that the MOTG is supposed to wait to buy her own dress until after she hears what color she is NOT supposed to buy.

 

[MJMouse]

Maybe I'm the only one, but it doesn't really seem like the Mother of the Bride is too far off on timing. The wedding isn't until October!!

I'm getting married in October and my mom hasn't started looking for a dress yet. The fall colors are just starting to show up in the stores this month. I expect she'll try to have one by the beginning of August if not sooner. My MIL hasn't started looking either. They have a pact... Whoever finds their dress first will let the other know what color it is. However I know my MIL is trying to hold off looking (1. so my mom can have first choice of color and 2. b/c she hates dress shopping!).

Back to the OP's original question... what to wear when the Bridesmaids are wearing dark brown and you don't look good in beige. My mom is in that same situation... she's looking at burgundy, plum, mauve, olive/fern green, or burnt orange. Any fall tone.

With the pink thrown in, I think I would stick with green, raspberry, or even a navy.

MJ MOUSE

 

[NHdisneylover]

In had no idea the moms were supposed to coordinate with each other. Our moms didn't and the dresses were totally fine.

I think you have been kind. It seems you have the bride's blessing...go for it.

I persoanlly would choose something that compliments the color scheme. Not sure how the MOB came up with black as a viable candidate.

Me either--or NOT match as the case may be--I had no idea they were supposed to consult one another at all about this. I didn't care what colors they wore and would not have thought to worry if they were the same or look liked the bridesmaids or anything else. I highly doubt my mom and my mother in law talked about it before the wedding either.

OP--wear the chocolate dress you like. It does not sound like the bride or her mom will mind. You might drive the bride batty if you keep trying to ascertain what will match though--if she does not care and does not get the concern she may just see your questions as a bother when she has much more important things (like cake fillings) on her mind. (not that you are trying to be annoying--clearly you are trying to be respectful).

 

[Handbag Lady]

Maybe I'm the only one, but it doesn't really seem like the Mother of the Bride is too far off on timing. The wedding isn't until October!!

I'm getting married in October and my mom hasn't started looking for a dress yet. The fall colors are just starting to show up in the stores this month. I expect she'll try to have one by the beginning of August if not sooner. My MIL hasn't started looking either. They have a pact... Whoever finds their dress first will let the other know what color it is. However I know my MIL is trying to hold off looking (1. so my mom can have first choice of color and 2. b/c she hates dress shopping!).

Back to the OP's original question... what to wear when the Bridesmaids are wearing dark brown and you don't look good in beige. My mom is in that same situation... she's looking at burgundy, plum, mauve, olive/fern green, or burnt orange. Any fall tone.

With the pink thrown in, I think I would stick with green, raspberry, or even a navy.

MJ MOUSE

I agree with you. I think it is too early because Fall fashions are not out yet.

But for colors, wear what YOU want to wear. I think you've given enough consideration to the MOB to at least give you an idea of what she'll wear. She should at least say that she's thinking of brown or a dark pink or what have you.

And at my wedding, my back-up singers wore a deep eggplant purple and both of the Mothers wore purple too. They didn't coordinate, it just worked out that way and they all looked great.

 

[Buckalew11]

Edie,
When I read your post of the colors chosen, I was thinking of a medium brown that is very neutral looking. I would think it would not clash and be neutral w/o being "blah". It think it sounds great and reading you have already found one--just meant to be. Go get that dress! You'll look great.
Gah, I hope the mom of the bride doesn't go with black.

 

[PrincessBelle09]

I think any of your choices sound fine, but especially the brown w/ copper trim.

My MIL wore a hot pink, strapless bridesmaid's dress to my wedding (it honestly could have been a prom dress). I about died when I saw it. It clashed horribly with my classy and mature wine colored bridesmaid dresses and the overall muted colors of my wedding party (my dress was ivory with champagne trim). So embarrassing!

 

[RUDisney]

I think any of your choices sound fine, but especially the brown w/ copper trim.

My MIL wore a hot pink, strapless bridesmaid's dress to my wedding (it honestly could have been a prom dress). I about died when I saw it. It clashed horribly with my classy and mature wine colored bridesmaid dresses and the overall muted colors of my wedding party (my dress was ivory with champagne trim). So embarrassing!

At the beginning of my reception, my Mom's uncle comes up and asks my parents, "who brought the hooker?" My parents started to laugh. It was my father's 45 yo sister in a french maid-looking strapless dress. At least she thought she looked hot.

 

[focusondisney]

Hi! Congratulations on your son's wedding!

As for your dilema, I think if the bride has given you the OK for the brown dress, you should get it if you want to. My only DD was married last year and her MIL was trying to "do the right thing" & wait for me. Neither DD or I really wanted her to do that. We both truly wanted her to just buy what she wanted & loved. I even told her I didn't care even if we ended up with the exact same dress. After all, the 2 attendents had the same dress, we'd just tell people that this was the "mother's" dress!

As for when to buy the dress, DD got married in early August. I found my dress on sale at Macy's in May. So by my timetable, bride's mom isn't "rude" or "late".

My DD's attendents also wore brown. I wore a deep plum, a color that always looks good on me. The groom's mom wore navy blue. She looked great. She would have prefered to wear knee length, but I had my heart set on long, as it was my only time being mother of the bride. DD didn't care if we didn't have the same length, but her MIL wanted to be the same, so she bought long, too.

As far as co-ordinating for pictures, my DD only has about 3-4 photos with both sets of parents. And I don't think she has any of the whole bridal party & parents together. So it didn't matter if we co-ordinated as far as pictures went.

Go for it! Get the dress that makes you feel great! Enjoy the wedding.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd go with the medium brown you like, a raspberyy, or did you think of a turquiose color which also looks nice with brown???

 

[Freyja]

Choose whichever dress you would like and don´t worry about the mother of the bride. My MIL called me a week before my wedding and asked if I would be o.k. with her wearing her own wedding "suit" (it wasn´t a dress, but a skirt and top and WHITE) to my wedding? I told her it was up to her, but that I would never wear white or wedding attire to anyone else´s wedding. She went shopping the day before our wedding for another dress.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

How do you look in mint green? I think it would look lovely with the browns and pinks.

 

[Sorsha]

FWIW when DH and I got married (17 years ago July 1st!) our colors were teal blue and pink (ah the early 90's ). It was a pretty low-budget affair; the flower girls' dresses were handmade by their mommy, my grandpa (who gave me away) wore his own suit, but went out and bought a new tie with designs in pink and teal to coordinate. My mom wore a dress (new) that she had sewn herself in a pretty floral print - the flowers were in pink, there were little bits of teal (but not much, she hates the color LOL) and spring green leaves. My MIL? A very not-new dress (this part didn't bother me, I knew they didn't have enough money for a new one) in an abstract powder blue/navy blue polyester print. With a peplum. Guess who kinda stuck out like a sore thumb in the wedding pics??!?

 

[quentina]

In had no idea the moms were supposed to coordinate with each other. Our moms didn't and the dresses were totally fine.

I think you have been kind. It seems you have the bride's blessing...go for it.

I persoanlly would choose something that compliments the color scheme. Not sure how the MOB came up with black as a viable candidate.

I had a black and white wedding......everyone wore black dresses including both Mom's. I need to say, it was beautiful. Now, it was 16 years ago on June 18th however; I just pulled out photos and it looked great.

I will add....I wore the white

 

[Dan Murphy]

Just passing on my congratulations, Edie, that's great!!! Best wishes to your son and new bride.

 

[ksjayhawks]

Get the medium brown with the copper trim. You like it and it would coordinate well with the wedding theme.

 

[disykat]

And at my wedding, my back-up singers wore a deep eggplant purple .

Sorry to go off topic, but Handbag Lady, I'm dying to know about your wedding music. You had back-up singers?