Another wedding attire question ....

[EdiePA]

DS#2 is getting married Oct. 1st. The bride's mom STILL has not settled on a dress. I was waiting for her, like a good Mother-of-the-Groom, but now it's getting late and I need to find a dress.

So, here's the problem. The wedding colors are chocolate brown (the bridesmaids dresses) and pink. The bride's mom to date has found three dresses -- one black, one black with purple trim, and a purple one.

I am not comfortable wearing black to a wedding, especially my son's wedding. And I'm not a fan of purple, lavender or any shade in between. I found a medium brown dress with copper beading that I like, but would that be too close to the bridesmaids? Should I go with a color like raspberry or mauve that would go with the pink of the wedding and also with the bride's mom if she chooses purple? I've asked the bride and she really doesn't care (and understands that I can't wait any longer for her mom.)

Help !!??!!

Thanks,
Edie

 

[AKL_Megs]

If the bride says she doesn't care, get the dress you like! So what if it is "close" to the bridesmaid's dresses! It's NOT the same!

Shame on the mother-of-the-bride. Reminds me of my MIL, who bought her "outfit" (no, she didn't wear a dress... I guess she couldn't find one she liked...) the DAY before our wedding... and it shows.

Just wanted to add... you don't have to match the mom. It does look nice if your DH wears something (a tie, perhaps, if you are doing suits) that matches YOUR dress a little bit. My mom wore a peachy dress, and my dad wore a white and orange tie (it was a summer wedding). It looks nice in pictures, because they match.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

In had no idea the moms were supposed to coordinate with each other. Our moms didn't and the dresses were totally fine.

I think you have been kind. It seems you have the bride's blessing...go for it.

I persoanlly would choose something that compliments the color scheme. Not sure how the MOB came up with black as a viable candidate.

 

[emma'smom]

I like the mauve/raspberry idea...it won't match anything exactly, but will go with all of it.

 

[luvmy3]

If the bride says she doesn't care, get the dress you like! So what if it is "close" to the bridesmaid's dresses! It's NOT the same!

Shame on the mother-of-the-bride. Reminds me of my MIL, who bought her "outfit" (no, she didn't wear a dress... I guess she couldn't find one she liked...) the DAY before our wedding... and it shows.

Just wanted to add... you don't have to match the mom. It does look nice if your DH wears something (a tie, perhaps, if you are doing suits) that matches YOUR dress a little bit. My mom wore a peachy dress, and my dad wore a white and orange tie (it was a summer wedding). It looks nice in pictures, because they match.

Shame on her because she hasn't picked out a dress yet?

 

[aprilgail2]

In had no idea the moms were supposed to coordinate with each other. Our moms didn't and the dresses were totally fine.

I think you have been kind. It seems you have the bride's blessing...go for it.

I persoanlly would choose something that compliments the color scheme. Not sure how the MOB came up with black as a viable candidate.

My friend is going through the same thing with the mother of the bride for her sons wedding and so is my neighbor. I don't know any that "coordinate" but I know all of them let the mother of the bride have the first choice of colors of her dress so the mother of the groom doesn't get the same color as the mother of the bride. My friends mother was livid that the mother of the groom bought her dress before she did and it was the color she wanted so she had to get a different color!

 

[taylor3297]

At least the Moms are going to get new dresses. My mother in law wore a dress that she had had for 10 years and it was very dated.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Shame on her because she hasn't picked out a dress yet?

OP is trying to be a good MIL, not piss off the bride, and match the dress of the mother-of-the-bride as best as she can. It even seems as though the BRIDE can't figure out her mom!

 

[luvmy3]

OP is trying to be a good MIL, not piss off the bride, and match the dress of the mother-of-the-bride as best as she can. It even seems as though the BRIDE can't figure out her mom!

The bride said she didn't care what the OP wore, I don't know why you would assume that the bride has an issue with her own mother since she never said that in the OP. Believe it or not, there are plenty of us who don't get all in a tizzy because our mothers didn't have their dress picked out the very day after we announced our wedding date.
And as other pp's have said, the mother's don't need to coordinate with eachother or the bridesmaids dresses, especially if the bride herself said she didn't care, so I am still confused as to why someone would say shame on the mother of the bride. Seems a bit harsh for someome who just isn't quite sure of which dress she's going to wear yet. Its not like your MIL at all, she does have dresses picked out and just hasn't picked the one she likes the best

 

[OceanAnnie]

I like the mauve/raspberry idea...it won't match anything exactly, but will go with all of it.

Me too.

What an exciting time!

 

[EdiePA]

OP here. Can we get back to the original question? I just wanted some ideas as far as colors I should be looking for.

Not bashing the bride's mom at all -- it's her choice. I just can't put off my shopping any longer and I just want to co-ordinate for the photos -- not stick out like a sore thumb. Maybe I should just be the old-fashioned Mom of the Groom who keeps her mouth shut and wears beige (truly, not a good color for me.)

Edie

 

[AKL_Megs]

OP here. Can we get back to the original question? I just wanted some ideas as far as colors I should be looking for.

Not bashing the bride's mom at all -- it's her choice. I just can't put off my shopping any longer and I just want to co-ordinate for the photos -- not stick out like a sore thumb. Maybe I should just be the old-fashioned Mom of the Groom who keeps her mouth shut and wears beige (truly, not a good color for me.)

Edie

Don't do that! I like the medium brown with copper dress, as I said before. You like it, so go buy it!

 

[luvmy3]

OP here. Can we get back to the original question? I just wanted some ideas as far as colors I should be looking for.

Not bashing the bride's mom at all -- it's her choice. I just can't put off my shopping any longer and I just want to co-ordinate for the photos -- not stick out like a sore thumb. Maybe I should just be the old-fashioned Mom of the Groom who keeps her mouth shut and wears beige (truly, not a good color for me.)

Edie

If you like the brown dress you picked out, wear that one.

 

[RUDisney]

OP here. Can we get back to the original question? I just wanted some ideas as far as colors I should be looking for.

Not bashing the bride's mom at all -- it's her choice. I just can't put off my shopping any longer and I just want to co-ordinate for the photos -- not stick out like a sore thumb. Maybe I should just be the old-fashioned Mom of the Groom who keeps her mouth shut and wears beige (truly, not a good color for me.)

Edie

I was going to tease you about getting a beige dress and standing in a corner, but you already knew that.

Get the brown and copper dress that you like and don't worry about it. You will not be sticking out at all because you will coordinate well enough with the bridesmaids and hence, the bride's flowers.

At least you're not going to wear white to the wedding like my MIL did. For as unhappy as she was all day because I was "stealing" her son, she should have worn black like she did to all of her other children's weddings.

 

[AKL_Megs]

At least you're not going to wear white to the wedding like my MIL did. For as unhappy as she was all day because I was "stealing" her son, she should have worn black like she did to all of her other children's weddings.

Sounds like she wanted to torture you just a little bit more!

 

[MarilIncredible]

I know I am swimming against the tide, but I'd probably look for a raspberry or mauve dress, but if I couldn't find one, then I'd go with brown/copper one you like. As the MOG, I'd personally rather not coordinate with the bridesmaids. YMHO.

 

[OhMari]

I've been shopping with my sister, for her daughters wedding since March. The wedding is in July. We just started to notice Fall dresses in the stores. So don't give up hope, and think you need a dress now. Check out Macy's, The Boston Store, Younkers, etc. You don't have to get a dress from a Bridal Store.

I just want to add, if any fashion designers are out there: If you want to start making a ton of money, get some advice from the mothers of the bride and grooms, it makes me want to cry, what you think is fashionable for us mom's. We are not 80 year old's.

 

[mdsoccermom]

Wear what you like and are comfortable with. Maybe I'm not the best person to answer this, because I so don't get bent out of shape over things like this. My colors were black and white. My mother in law wore something in raspberry. My mother wore a white suit. Yes, she wore white and I wasn't bothered by it one bit as I was not under the impression anyone would confuse the two of us.

Anyway, I can easily say that 17 years later no one cares what anyone wore.

 

[Minnesota!]

I have never ever ever heard of coordinating mother's of dresses with each other - or with the wedding party!

My colors were cream and navy. My mom wore a knee length black dress with white satin trim. My MIL wore an aqua beaded gown. Both looked beautiful and I never would have thought about them clashing or matching or anything.

Wear what you are comfortable in, what you like. You are the only one you need to please....

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

How can we offer advice on colors, we don't know your skin tone, hair color, etc? Raspberry looks good on almost everyone.

Go buy whatever dress you want, as long as its ok with your future DIL. Really, nobody cares how "coordinated" the colors are. My mom wore a gorgeous black dress with gold beading at my wedding and looked amazing. My MIL wore a aubergrine dress and looked amazing too. I'm sure whatever you pick will work fine.