Another unattended child at the pool vent..

[hrh_disney_queen]

Ok, it's that time of year...Community pools, parents watching and NOT watching their kids play...Here's my vent..

Yesterday DS4, DS6 and I went to the pool we joined. We parked ourselves by the kiddie pool, and they played around in it while I watched from a lounge chair. We are alone until a little boy (we'll call him Billy) comes along with his inner tube and gets in. He is not any trouble. My kids talk to him, and we find out he is five. Well, after about 30 minutes, I am wondering where this child's parent is. I look around, the closest adults I see are about 25 feet away with their backs to us. ? So I asked him, "where is your mommy?" He says, "over there on the yellow blanket." "You mean the one with the blue hat?" "Yes." Well, Mommy is sitting on a lounge chair on the opposite site of the adult (very large) pool reading a magazine! (The adult pool is BETWEEN Mommy and Billy) Then after a few more minutes, he says he needs help getting out of the tube. Still no sign of her checking on him. So I reached over to help him out. She must have looked up then, because I looked over at her while I was helping him, then looked again over the top of my sunglasses-more to make a point than anything else. Finally I saw her stir. A minute later she is next to him, saying "Did he get stuck?"
I said, (with great control) "yes". Her-"Thanks" Me-(biting my tongue) "that's ok, I just didn't want to be responsible for him." Her-"Oh, he's usually Ok in here." I don't even remember what else I said, my tongue hurt so bad from restraining what I really wanted to say. Anyway, they were draining the kiddie pool to clean out the chemicals, so she and "Billy" left. ARrrrrrggggghhhhh!!! I walked by them later at their chairs and she had a girl about 7-8 with her. So I guess she was watching the girl and leaving "Billy" to fend for himself... Or......

Do you think she was counting on me to watch him since I was obviously going to be there for awhile? I wish I would have taken DS4&6 for a walk around the pool to see if that brought her over to him. Maybe I am overly cautious, but I would NEVER leave a kid that young along in water... Even if it IS only 2 feet deep....

 

[cynsaun]

UGH! That is so maddening! You did a great job holding your tongue! She deserved a tongue lashing in my opinion!

People think that just because they are at a public pool, that the lifeguard is there to babysit Billy!

 

[N.Bailey]

I'll never understand parents like this. I know when I take my kids swimming, (and they are not allowed to go if I'm not there) I won't take my eyes off of them for a second. My kids are now 12 & 13 and I am still finding myself doing this constantly. I just feel that I'm given one opportunity, if I fail, I won't get to go back and make the decision over and I DO NOT want to fail.

This one family we have here has left their child do anything she wanted from the age of 4 or so. This child would at 4 years of age (she's 12 now), come to my house on a Saturday morning at 9 am and she'd go home at 9 PM. Her parents would not call one time through out that time to check on her, or call or home for dinner or anything. Heck, one Christmas they didn't even call her home for dinner. I feel like she's MY child, cept I don't have to buy her school clothes! LOL

I'm with you though, I don't understand!

 

[Lewski709]

Billy could be my Billy. My Billy (not really, but we'll call him Billy) is 5 and a very good swimmer. He can swim without any devices. I am not too concerned about him and I don't need to ogle over him. I am more concerned about his 16mo old brother. I don't expect anyone to babysit him either, but I don't need to keep him under constant supervision.

 

[disykat]

I agree - that's horrible.

I was in a motel hot tub once and a kid about 4 started to get in. He was wearing a life jacket. His mom was around the corner watching the older kids play in the pool. The hot tub was by the door so there is no way she could have known whether anyone was in the hot tub or not - she couldn't see it from where she was. I wouldn't let him in and showed him the sign (even though he was clearly too young to read it) where it said he wasn't allowed without a parent.

 

[kellib36]

Children can drown in their own bathtub.....stupid people shouldn't be allowed to breed.

That woman doesn't know how lucky she is.....or she is pretty ignorant.

I agree, it would have been interesting to see what she would have done if you'd gone for a walk.....

 

[lulugirl]

I agree, bad parenting. Children that young require supervision....especially in public places. Aside from the danger of drowning, what if some stranger tried to walk off w/ him?

 

[Robinrs]

We have two pools at my complex and the small one is right across from my home. Michael is taller than I am and he is not allowed anywhere near that pool without me watching him. Yesterday, two TINY children wandered over from the playground and tried to wiggle in through the gate. I told them they could not come in without their Mommy or Daddy (BIG sign up at the pool, but what good does it do when 5 year olds are allowed to wander by themselves?????) They both stopped then a woman comes after them yelling for them to come back. In the time she thought to find them they could've been in the pool and tomorrow's news story....

I am amazed at how lax some parents are. I realize that I am over protective at times but my Mom was, also. I realized later in life that it was because she loved us so much.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

There really wasn't any danger of abduction, as they would have had to walk right past the mom to exit. And I don't know, maybe I worry too much, which is why I was the one concerned and not the mom. The more I think about it, the more I think that I was a babysitter without even knowing it. I mean, if he went under-this child could not swim, what am I gonna do-sit there and watch him drown?

I am amazed that anyone would think it is all right to allow a 5 year old to be on his own while swimming, even if he can swim. I wasn't even talking about supervising, which is a whole nother issue, but just being within sprinting distance in case he went under. Why would a mother even THINK of taking a risk like that, it just boggles my mind...

 

[MAGICinMYHEART]

Last Monday night in the hot tub at Wilderness Lodge my sister and I where setting there when two little girls about 6 & 4 jumped in, the older girl stepped off the seat and just barely made it across the deeper section.

The 4 year old followed her...she went straight to the bottom like a rock, the older girl just stood on the side and stared at her sister drowning...I was able to get to her but what if I hadn't been there. The lifeguards had gone off duty but they can’t see over the rocks to the bottom of the hot tub.

I asked...”Where is your mommy?” to the older girl, she just looked at me as the 4 year old started crying...after several minutes this man comes up and takes both girls away.

It scared me to think what if we hadn't been there.The second hot tub was full of just children.

 

[Disney Ella]

I have seen that so many times before - at pools and waterparks. Even if the child can swim, it's always possible to get into trouble -slip and hit their head, etc., and no one is around to notice.

A few years ago, I took my kids to a state park with a lake on a very hot, very crowded day. There were so many peope in the lake we could barely find a clear spot, mostly because there were many children in the lake from a summer camp. There had to be at least 40 kids in the water and two counselors who couldn't possibly keep an eye on all of them. This was in addition to all the people who were just there for the day, probably at least 100 people in the water.

That wasn't the bad part though. There was a brother and sister, about 5 and 7, playing near us (not part of the summer camp), neither of whom could swim. The boy caught a minnow in his bucket and showed it to us, and then asked me if he could show it to his mom. I watched him run up the beach, past the sand, past the grassy area, to the picnic table area and go somewhere out of sight. It was so crowded that these kids could have easily slipped under the water and no one may have even noticed. I couldn't believe that the mother wouldn't even stay in sight of these kids.

 

[N.Bailey]

I live in a touristy area because we have the biggest man-made lake at least in the state in our area. A few years ago (I was not at the lake on this particular day - Thank God), but if you read the post directly above mine, you'd get a feel for the conditions of the beach area at our lake too. Lots of people (over 100 at any given time) swimming in a pretty small roped off area. Well, a girl of 11 or so drowned while her father lay on the beach sleeping. From my understanding, he was quite burnt, so he was probably sleeping for some time (that's assumption on my part only). I'm sure though that he thought his daughter was a good swimmer and could handle herself too. Afterwards, you have to ask yourself how such a thing could happen with so many people and some had to be within arms distance from her, could possibly happen? You leave however with lots of unanswered questions and that's something that you'd have to live with for the rest of your life. Now I realize this can happen even if you watch your child very closely (all you have to do is turn your back at the wrong second) but at least I know that I try my hardest to make sure it's not my child.

 

[LadyBears]

People around here are like that at our local beach, too. When we go, my DD4, knows she can not go into the water unless she is between one of us & the beach. When we are out there it always amazes me how many kids are unsupervised. We are not their babysitters. Every year for as long as I can remember there have been at least 2 deaths here. Mostly because of the undertow. Sorry - the ocean doesn't care if it is a five year old or an adult. It could be because of the undertow or because goofing around & one slips or gets hit in the head. I have seen experienced swimmers go out far & get a cramp & need help back to shore. There are spots that all of a sudden just drop - & I mean DEEPLY - not a gradual slope! My DD knows how to swim also, but I don't let her in the water by herself. I trust her, I don't trust her judgement in an emergency situation.

As a former licensed Red Cross lifeguard, I think pools are worse - the bottoms are much more slippery, the sides of the pool can be very slippery, people just take the water for granted. Sometimes there are slides & diving boards to worry about also. Adults need to remember that a child is just that - a child. They still need us & our guidance to protect them. As much as I try to let my DD be herself & learn for herself - there are certain things that she is not allowed to do unless supervised. If everyone was just a little more aware & cautious - we wouldn't NEED lifeguards!

JMO

 

[Pembo]

I keep my eyes on my boys ALL the time. That's why we didn't go to the pool alot last summer with dd, who was 1 at the time. Yes they can both swim, like fish. Yes, they've been taking swimming lessons since they were babies. No, I don't trust them or the lifeguards or other children.

hrhdisneyqueen - I feel for you. If you're not going to watch your children, then don't take them to the pool/beach/park!!!!

and Lewiski - I'd be a little more concerned if I were you. You just never know.......

 

[CEDmom]

Originally posted by Lewski709
Billy could be my Billy. My Billy (not really, but we'll call him Billy) is 5 and a very good swimmer. He can swim without any devices. I am not too concerned about him and I don't need to ogle over him. I am more concerned about his 16mo old brother. I don't expect anyone to babysit him either, but I don't need to keep him under constant supervision.

That's great that your DS is such a good swimmer. However, what happens when he jumps into the kiddie pool loses his footing slips and goes under? Trust me this has happened more than once with kids around that age. I've always pulled the child out and then looked in dismay when the parent(s) was far away and facing the other directon. Honestly, no matter how good a swimmer a young child is they shouldn't be left to their own devices. You also cannot expect the lifeguards to be watching your child all the time.

 

[Lewski709]

I work at the local YMCA teaching swimming as a side job. I know what the limits are for my child and I don't not supervise him. There really aren't limits other than the basic pool rules. He can swim laps and do his blowing and breathing. Some kids swim very well and he was on the swim team.

That being said, the lifeguard is at a pool to save someone who is in trouble......child, adult....whatever.

Maybe you should suggest the pool institute a policy of "any child, unger the age of ____, when in the water, must be within arms reach of a parent/guardian over the age of 16 at all times."

I have seen this policy before at community pools. If they don't make the policy, you may be plagued with what you feel is inadequate supervision all summer long.

 

[Virgo10]

Several years ago I was the nurse to a near drowning child. At the age of two, she slipped out a door at her grandparent's house and into the pool. The guilt these people will live with for the rest of their lives is too much to bear.

However, that was an accident. To have a young child at a pool area and not supervise them is horrible. It only takes a second for tragedy to strike.


Roberta

 

[DebbieB]

My neighbor has a small above ground pool, probably 3 or 4 feet deep. I came home from work the other day and as I backed into the driveway, I saw the 4 or 5 year old daughter and a neighbor down the street's daughter, also 4 or 5 in the pool. They were splashing around, intentionally trying to hit my car with the water (no big deal). I was shocked when I got out and looked over, no adult was around! I noticed her mother's car was not in the driveway (mom is divorced, no dad around). I thought that was strange, a little later the mom came home, turns out her sister-in-law with a baby was babysitting her daughter, but obviously not paying close attention when she was in the pool. I thought they were too young to be in the pool with no adult supervising right there.

 

[N.Bailey]

I am not of the belief that it takes a community to raise a child, I believe it takes two parents (granted some are not as fortunate as others and I mean no disrespect to single parents by that statement). That is why I do not feel it my place to ever tell a parent how to raise a child. I just wanted to pass along two other quick stories.

We have our own pool (above ground) and the day it was installed (1994 or so) my children were 2 & 3 I'd have to guess. We filled our pool with the garden hose and as I sat on the deck, my mother, my husband, my son and my daughter were standing in it and I'd say it was maybe a little below knee level on my husband at the time. Much higher on the kids, but I couldn't tell you how high. As I sat chatting with my Mom and husband, my daughter lost her balance and was under the water behind my husband. I went into a panic, just pointing away, without being able to get a word out of my mouth to my husband to get her. Of course this made my husband turn to get her right away, but in that instant, I saw how fast it could happen. Maybe that's what has created my panic all these years. I don't know, but it happens so fast, you really don't have much time to react! If you're not paying attention (or someone isn't) chances are, it's going to be too late till you realize what has happened.

2nd story and it's not really a story:

My daughter is a fantastic swimmer. She has been on the town swim team since she's been in 2nd grade I believe it was. Well, one day we were out at the lake and there was a little boy who had lost his balance or something. I'm not quite sure what happened to him, but he was definitely struggling to get above the water. My daughter was standing right beside him and she did nothing to help him. She's a fantastic swimmer, but she was in oblivion when it came to stepping up to saving someone from drowning. Luckily this boy's parents were paying attention and they went in to rescue him, but no one did a thing to help him from within the water. In a way it made me understand the drowning of the girl in my previous thread, but it still left me totally bewildered that she did nothing. Keep in mind, I said something to her in hopes that it ever happens again, she tries to help, but I did not yell at her. Then I wonder, in his panic, would he have pulled her down too? My answer to that is, luckily if it's my daughter, you can bet I'd see that!

I really believe an adult is the only person qualified to intervene in situations like this, but I would HOPE (and it's only that) that anyone seeing would try to help.

 

[yecats]

As a child, I had a child's pool in my backyard. It was a round pool about 2 feet deep and 8 feet around. My mother always sat next to the pool and watched me. When I was about 5 the little girl across the street from me came over to swim, she was about 7 going on 8 at the time. This little girl was beginning to have mental problems from a drunk father, drunk mother and a grandfather who didn't care. We had two large german shepherds that began to bark in a wierd way. My mom walked 30 feet to the side gate as someone was getting ready to knock on our front door, my mother called over to the person who was about to knock on the door and then called to the two of us to get out of the pool. Missy, the little girl, thought it would be fun to hold my head underwater at this time and proceeded to do so. The salesman who had come to call noticed this little girl was still in the pool, mom couldn't see me because I was being held underwater and she came running over and basically had to revive me, she wasn't gone for anyless than a minute. There are many things that can happen to a child in less than a minute, by other children and in any degree of inches of water. Watch your children. Not to mention there was also times when I was 11, 12 and 13 and strangers tried to get me to take a ride with them (playing in front of my own home or the 4 block walk that I had from a friend's sleep over) and I always said no.

P.S. - When I was 13, a friend had a sleepover. My mom asked that I call her when I was ready to go home the next day. However, we had a bad storm during the sleepover and the phone lines were down. 3 of us decided to walk home together after waiting for the phone to be hooked back up. The other two girls lived within the first 2 blocks. Right after the 2nd friend went into her house, I kept walking when a man pulled up in his vehicle and asked me if I would like a ride home. I told him no and thanked him but kept on walking. He drove to the next corner and waited for me. He asked me again and I reiterated that I was walking home and didn't need the ride. He drove around the corner and came back. At this point I was about 60 feet from my own home when he stopped and asked again. Once again I said no and kept on walking. He again went around the corner, I ran home and peaked out my living room window and guess who came back around the corner looking for me. He almost stopped dead in front of my home trying to figure out where I went. My mom was about to drive over to get me as she couldn't reach me by phone. She saw the guy in the vehicle and after she heard what I told her, she did call the police but to my knowledge nothing ever came of it. I lived in a middle class neighborhood where very little crime EVER happened. Freak things happen all the time.