Another School Thread (Serious Post)

[AC7179]

My daughter had her registration last week at her middle school.

She goes to what is known as the best school in the area. We don't live in that district, and we have been very fortunate that they have accepted her as a transfer student. So, we are grateful, her teachers have been wonderful, but I also am very aware that she could be revoked as a transfer for any reason at all. I'm not a boat-rocking kind of Mom, anyway, but I am very careful to not give them any reason to not like her. In addition, I am a teacher at another district, and so I am definitely sympathetic to the plight of an educator.

Anyway, at her registration, we were done and ready to leave. I was waiting for her at the door. A man with a badge (who my daughter later identified as a vice-principal at the school) was seated at a table greeting the students and parents. He was very friendly.

Another student was drinking a soda out of a big cup. He was about five feet from the trash can and threw the soda to the trash. The lid came off and ice spilled on the floor. I smiled at the kid and said, "Nice one," and helped him pick up the ice. The kid looked at the VP, who said, "Way to go, retard."

I almost fainted dead away. I don't know if the child he was speaking to was HIS OWN child, or just a student, but it was just so amazing to me that the VP at this school that is so accomplished and a place that is very difficult to become employed with, would not know that it probably wasn't very intelligent to call another kid a "retard" in front of students and parents.

So.......now I have a decision to make. My first instinct was to write a letter to the principal, not naming which VP it was, clarifying that I didn't want anyone to get into trouble, but that maybe some sensitivity training might be helpful.

My mom said basically, not to rock the boat, that it wasn't my child he was talking to and I should MYOB.

I see her point.

Another principal I am friends with was aghast and said, basically, that if that doesn't stop the man WILL end up with a lawsuit, so better to write a letter now.

What would you do?

 

[belle&beast]

Wow, as someone who works with special needs students, I find that highly offensive! I would have to report it because it would eat away at me, but that is just me. Good luck with your decision.

 

[nowellsl]

If you feel like you have to write a letter do it annonymously (sp?). More likely than not if you complain about anything at the school they will find a way to get your daughter out of it!

 

[WDWfan36]

I would send an letter in anomonysly (sp?) Anyways, I think you should maybe her really dosen't realize that he is doing that. You know a moment thing.

 

[momof2inPA]

That's completely inappropriate language, and I hate it when teachers try to talk on a student's level, but I would probably let it go and not rock the boat at this point. If anything else comes up, then I would address the situation. There was a teacher at my kid's Catholic school who thought it was appropriate to say, "that sucks." She was trying to relate to her middle school age students, but that didn't fly with the parents.

On a side note, I would NEVER let my kids say "retard." It's socially objectionable and sounds trashy, but many parents don't feel that way.

 

[Teacher03]

I think I would have to say something....I find that very offensive and unprofessional. I would hope they would not hold it against your daughter.

 

[mickeysgal]

Another student was drinking a soda out of a big cup. He was about five feet from the trash can and threw the soda to the trash. The lid came off and ice spilled on the floor. I smiled at the kid and said, "Nice one," and helped him pick up the ice. The kid looked at the VP, who said, "Way to go, retard."

I almost fainted dead away. I don't know if the child he was speaking to was HIS OWN child, or just a student, but it was just so amazing to me that the VP at this school that is so accomplished and a place that is very difficult to become employed with, would not know that it probably wasn't very intelligent to call another kid a "retard" in front of students and parents.

So.......now I have a decision to make. My first instinct was to write a letter to the principal, not naming which VP it was, clarifying that I didn't want anyone to get into trouble, but that maybe some sensitivity training might be helpful.

First, are you SURE you heard this correctly? It boggles my mind that an adult in the job capacity that he has would have the brains to say something so careless and thoughtless whether it was meant to be sarcastic or funny in some way.

Second, if this were me, I'd would have had something to say right then and there. Something like, "you know, thats unnecessary and uncalled for". I would have put him right on the spot.

I can't believe that if this was said in front of other parents, that NO ONE else said anything at the time immediately, right then and there.

 

[dementia412]

1. Let it go = Wait till it happens to your kid.
2. Wouldn't you want someone to stand up your child if it was her the VP had said that too.
3. It is not the best school if they allow that behavior, or if they take away your out of district for serious complaints. If they do revoke it, you are better off with her out of that atmosphere.

So, complain, and do it with your name on the letter. Anonymous complaints are usually tossed or are easily disregarded... "Oh, that must have been that trouble student X trying to get back at me for Y." If they revoke your transfer then happily run to another school which will likely teach her just as well without the inappropriate behavior by staff.

 

[AC7179]

I'm about 95% sure I heard correctly.

The man saw me trying to get a glimpse of his badge to see who he was.

There were kids and parents all around, but it is a large building. I'm guessing others could have heard, but nobody was really listening except for me, because I was helping the student he was talking to.

 

[EEYOREMAMA]

I too, am a teacher (8th grade middle school) and feel you only made one error in this situation. I would have confronted him right there and asked him to repeat what he had said. I would have asked the boy what he thought the VP had said.

The more time and distance you give to a situation, you remove power from it. They will assume you did not think it important enough to handle when the incident took place, so why should they place importance on it now.

The best advice I can give you is to keep your eyes and ears open now. If you get a chance, ask around about this VP and see what the feedback is. The best source for info will be the students he adminstrates over. Just be sure he does not speak to your child this way. If such an event does occur, do not talk to the principal of the school, go straight to the District Board.

Good luck!

 

[WDWAurora]

What state are you in? If you are in NC, I have a resource for you.

 

[Hedy]

My daughter had her registration last week at her middle school.

She goes to what is known as the best school in the area. We don't live in that district, and we have been very fortunate that they have accepted her as a transfer student. So, we are grateful, her teachers have been wonderful, but I also am very aware that she could be revoked as a transfer for any reason at all. I'm not a boat-rocking kind of Mom, anyway, but I am very careful to not give them any reason to not like her. In addition, I am a teacher at another district, and so I am definitely sympathetic to the plight of an educator.

Anyway, at her registration, we were done and ready to leave. I was waiting for her at the door. A man with a badge (who my daughter later identified as a vice-principal at the school) was seated at a table greeting the students and parents. He was very friendly.

Another student was drinking a soda out of a big cup. He was about five feet from the trash can and threw the soda to the trash. The lid came off and ice spilled on the floor. I smiled at the kid and said, "Nice one," and helped him pick up the ice. The kid looked at the VP, who said, "Way to go, retard."

I almost fainted dead away. I don't know if the child he was speaking to was HIS OWN child, or just a student, but it was just so amazing to me that the VP at this school that is so accomplished and a place that is very difficult to become employed with, would not know that it probably wasn't very intelligent to call another kid a "retard" in front of students and parents.

So.......now I have a decision to make. My first instinct was to write a letter to the principal, not naming which VP it was, clarifying that I didn't want anyone to get into trouble, but that maybe some sensitivity training might be helpful.

My mom said basically, not to rock the boat, that it wasn't my child he was talking to and I should MYOB.

I see her point.

Another principal I am friends with was aghast and said, basically, that if that doesn't stop the man WILL end up with a lawsuit, so better to write a letter now.

What would you do?

Sadly, I think you missed your chance to pull your Miss Manners approved "Pardon me?" If he says it to your daughter, then you can go nuts.