Another question about funerals

[MELSMICE]

This. I want it to be as inexpensive as possible for DH (if he outlives me). I've never had any interest in the expensive funeral/burial thing. Seems like a huge gigantic waste of money, IMO.

Same here.........as inexpensive as possible. I know the services are for the remaining relatives, but I also hope they're realistic & remember that it's not about how much money a funeral costs, it's about the memories.

It's such an emotional time & many people feel if you don't get the best you are doing your loved one an injustice. I also hope I don't feel that way should DH pass before me & hope I can remain level headed.

Posted by tlbwriter:

Why couldn't she have a memorial service without the body? I thought that was the whole point of a memorial (as opposed to a funeral) - the fact that the body was not present.

I was thinking the same thing. We had a memorial service for grandmother with no body present she first passed away. We then had a memorial/funeral for her when they brought her remains back home as she had been living in Florida with my parents when she passed.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

It is my understanding that after a body is donated to science then its given back to the family for a funeral/cremation or is then cremated/burial paid for by that state. Now here is the fun part of that, most states run out of money and can't pay for the funerals/cremations so bodies are therefore laying around in morgues until somebody pays to dispose of the body. Some families that want to be buried can't afford the funeral and are abandoning their loved ones leaving the states to pay--- which they can't either.

As far as cremation goes, something has to be done with the ashes. Are they to be scattered? Do they get thrown out, passed from generation to generation, buried? Its possible that some states have laws against keeping cremains.

So if you're not going for a traditional burial and chose the donation to science or cremation what is your final plan for a rest in peace spot?

My personal thoughts were to be cremated and then probably buried.

 

[Disney Doll]

A lot depends on when I die and who's going to be around then to mourn me.

If I were to die while my parents are still around, then we'd have to go with the traditional Catholic thing...wake, open or closed cakset (depending on how I looked/what I died from), Catholic funeral Mass, burial. No cremation. I think anything else would freak my parents out and realistically, funerals are for the living, not the dead. I wouldn't really care what happened to me, so I would be OK with them doing what they had to do to make everyone else feel better, feel closure etc. DH would be OK with that, since he is Catholic and fairly traditional as well.

If my parents are gone and DH is the deciding vote, then I could still see me having a fairly traditional funeral, wake, Catholic Mass etc., burial. DH might consider cremating me. I wouldn't care, if that's what he wanted to do. DH & I do have a plot already in the little cemetery across the street from our house but that's because we really like the cemetery and they were filling up fast! Plus I always kid DH and say that if I die first, then I can keep an eye on what his 2nd wife does to my house! For some reason, he does not find this as amusing of a statement as I do.

So I'll be buried...either my body or my cremains...I don't think I'd like my cremains hanging around on someone's mantle somewhere. Too easy to get lost or accidentally sucked up into the Dirt Devil!

If I die after DH, I'd probably tell the nieces and nephews to cremate me and bury me with him. I would like a Catholic funeral Mass though, since I am a lifelong Catholic. The cheaper the better so there might be more $$ left for the nieces and nephews. We don't have kids, so they'd be our "heirs" so to speak.

Funerals are for the ones left behind, so ultimately as long as I get a Catholic Mass and get buried with DH, I'm OK with anything else.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

If you would've asked me this 5-10 years ago, my answer would've been totally different. As I get older (ok, I'm only 35, but...) I realize that it is extremely expensive to have a funeral and burial. My dad's cremation and small service was $5500. It would be well over $12,000 for a coffin, burial, headstone, etc. I don't want my family to have to pay that kind of money just to put me in the ground.

I have now decided that I'd like to be cremated with my ashes scattered throughout the Magic Kingdom. I don't want a service either-just something for the family with a priest who can say a few prayers for me.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Here's an example of the state's not being able to pay either:

http://money.cnn.com/2009/10/01/news/economy/_morgue/index.htm

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I would also like to be cremated. I don't like the idea of having my body embalmed and then put in a metal casket in the ground. It doesn't seem...responsible.

My wife is also being cremated.

If one of us dies first, our ashes are to be kept until both have passed. Then they will be both be spread over the quad at the college where we met.

 

[GeorgeG]

Cremation works for me with no service or fuss and absolutely no religious mention. Secretly scatter my ashes somewhere discrete in Epcot. At a convenient time later on, get together and have a at either the Rose & Crown or the Beirgarten (maybe both). Order a beer for me and don't be surprised if I drink it. Compliance with my wishes will determine if I'm a fun haunt or scary haunt.

 

[Disney Doll]

We have both decided on creamation-and having our ashes (secretly, since it is not allowed) scatted on the shores between the Boardwalk and EPCOT -a place with some of our happiest memories. Our families can come and remember us there if they choose.

All my freinds kid me and say they are going to cremate me and every 6 months take a trip to WDW & take a small bit of my ashes and scatter them somewhere. A little in Epcot, a little in MGM, a little in the MK, a little at the AK, some on the BC beach...you get the idea.....

I think, quite frankly, that my friends are just using me as a cheesy excuse to go to WDW.

 

[minkydog]

We were just talking about this today. I plan to be cremated and after my (short) memorial service, i want them to have a big ol' picnic/carnival with fried chicken, turnip greens, corn on the cob, baked beans, and pound cake. And maybe one those blow-up jumpy things,cotton candy, face painting, and pony rides. I want my kids to say, "That was AWESOME!"

 

[love2disney]

First donate every organ and piece of skin that can be used! Then cremation and disposal of ashes anywhere where there is water.

For my memorial service I told my husband the other day I want a candy buffet and a Ice cream sundae table with lots of toppings. He looke at me strange but I am going to leave that in my will.

 

[okeydokey]

We have both decided on creamation-and having our ashes (secretly, since it is not allowed) scatted on the shores between the Boardwalk and EPCOT -a place with some of our happiest memories. Our families can come and remember us there if they choose.

Sadly, I don't think Disney allows this.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Here's an example of the state's not being able to pay either:

http://money.cnn.com/2009/10/01/news/economy/_morgue/index.htm

You don't see stuff like that on the Pure Michigan advertisements now, do you? I'm sorry. We have to laugh because laughing is better than crying and there's no help for the money situation.

As for the OP, I have opted for cremation and a short ceremony. DH all depends on how he goes. If he's killed in the line of duty, obviously there will be a whole ceremony that involves the Department. If he dies in his sleep or of old age, same for him: cremation and short ceremony.

 

[lustergirl]

Here's an example of the state's not being able to pay either:

http://money.cnn.com/2009/10/01/news/economy/_morgue/index.htm

just read that article and I have to say here in NYS if a person's family can't afford the burial expenses then the state will bury them. I don't know how other states do it though. I am a forensic death investigator for the county here in Buffalo and see too much of this. I am going to donate my body to the Body Farm at the University of Tennessee for research. This facility uses donated bodies for their forensic studies any many forensic anthropologists in training gain experience from this.

 

[ols386]

I want to be cremated too. I don't want to be in a cold, dark casket, in the ground.

I want at least a few of my ashes sprinkled at WDW. Seriously, I've told my kids this is what I want.

 

[minkydog]

First donate every organ and piece of skin that can be used! Then cremation and disposal of ashes anywhere where there is water.

For my memorial service I told my husband the other day I want a candy buffet and a Ice cream sundae table with lots of toppings. He looke at me strange but I am going to leave that in my will.

Oooh, ice cream sundae table! I like that! Going in the will...

 

[Hannathy]

First donate every organ and piece of skin that can be used! Then cremation and disposal of ashes anywhere where there is water.

For my memorial service I told my husband the other day I want a candy buffet and a Ice cream sundae table with lots of toppings. He looke at me strange but I am going to leave that in my will.

Better leave it with someone else! They usually don't open the will till way after the "festivities"

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

I want a natural burial, which is a regular pine casket, with me wrapped in a muslin sheet, no chemicals. I would prefer to not be viewed, but I guess I could leave this up to the family that is still here.

That's the way to do it, if you are gonna be buried. I don't know if anyone has mentioned the effect that a burial with embalming is bad for the environment, but it is. Those chemicals seep out into the ground and potentially water sources.

I want to be cremated and disposed of. No marker or anything. I don't want people feeling like they have to come "visit" me or feel guilty if they don't. Just toss me in the dumpster. Seriously.

ETA: I want to be an organ donor. I feel very strongly about this and I pray my family will honor that.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

just read that article and I have to say here in NYS if a person's family can't afford the burial expenses then the state will bury them. I don't know how other states do it though. I am a forensic death investigator for the county here in Buffalo and see too much of this. I am going to donate my body to the Body Farm at the University of Tennessee for research. This facility uses donated bodies for their forensic studies any many forensic anthropologists in training gain experience from this.

I have read about the Body Farm, and it is absolutely fascinating how in depth the studies are about decomposition of the human body. They can tell by what bugs are eating the body as to how long the body has been dead. I know I didn't word that right, but you know what I mean. They test in all kinds of weather, just about any state of decay possible.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Sadly, I don't think Disney allows this.

No, they don't. But don't think it doesn't happen. I'm pretty sure we would all be surprised at how many have had at least a small amount scattered somewhere on property.

 

[JessicaR]

I have always had a huge phobia of being buried in the ground. So that was never an option for me. When I got married my husband said he would purchase a mausoleum for me and I thought that was just great! Last year I didn't like that option anymore either and now want to be cremated.

Its either that or a nice glass box that seconds as a coffee table in the LR. The kids arent going for it.