Another IL vent thread

[Mono~rail]

OP, what do you do during the summer to keep from being exposed to temps above 66 degrees?

Do you take cool baths/showers to keep from getting too hot?

 

[ajk912]

I answered this in a pp but you may have missed it. We go to Busch Gardens a lot in the summer time but if I keep my hair wet/ponytail wet I am usually ok. I keep my house cool at 66, so it's generally only a problem when I am outside..occasionally at the mall or a store if they keep the temp high (I know the mall food court can be like this!) in that case I splash my face & arms down with water and try to minimize my time there if I am starting to feel flushed. But, when we are outside I mostly soak myself, especially at the pool!

On another note, I did just go talk to DH and told him about this thread, and asked him (if he wasn't married to me) what he would think. He says he sees both sides of the fence and all medical issues involved for both parties. He says he can see how flushed my face gets that I am hot in the summer. He thinks my health has improved in the last few years, so I probably not at risk for seizures anymore. He says he was raised to try to accomodate guests, BUT, he says it really pissed him off when his dad reprogrammed his thermostat so his wife couldn't adjust it, so now he just wants his dad to back off.

OP, what do you do during the summer to keep from being exposed to temps above 66 degrees?

Do you take cool baths/showers to keep from getting too hot?

 

[Merriwind]

OP, If wetting your hair keeps you cool enough to enjoy Busch Gardens during Virginia summer days without overheating, perhaps you could accomodate your FIL and splash water on your face and/or wet down your hair at home if you feel yourself starting to overheat. I know that it gets much hotter than 70 outside in the summer. Heck, there are probably some nights it barely gets below 70.

I agree that FIL shouldn't have reprogrammed your thermostat, but if you could find a way to bump up the temperature, maybe you could avoid the whole confrontation. Good luck!

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

One thing that has crossed my mind is that maybe the new towel/new soap crowd does not host guests as often as the more laid back crowd.

We have people here all the time. I have FOUR bathrooms. Most of the regular guests have chosen spots to sleep, but sometimes we swap rooms or move people according to who has to get up early or come in late that particular day. We treat our guests like family. They are comfortable, they pitch in because they WANT to.... and everyone is happy. I would expect nothing different if I was the guest.

Flowers in the room? No time for that! If they sleep in the kids rooms then they have clean sheets... but if they are on the futons or on the air mattresses, they know where the linens, pillows and blankets are and they take care of that themselves.

Funny aside..... we have friends that we occasionally stay with where we get blankets to sleep on the floor. They don't have much room but we love each other's company and don't mind the limited accomodations at all. The big joke when one of us arrives at the other's house is "I cleaned the toilet for ya!!!"

Next time we go there I'll have to ask where the flowers and little individual soaps are. We would all have a good laugh out of that!

 

[Mono~rail]

I really can sympathize with the OP. My in-laws live a few states away so when they do come it is for a few weeks. We don't have thermostat wars, but when they are here, every second feels like an eternity.

The thermostat war is a familiar one though that is happening right now at my parents' house. My mom's brother likes to stay at their house even though he only lives about 10 miles from them. It is cold here now, and he has the air conditioning on. We went there for Thanksgiving and the house was freezing. My mom was bundled up (she's on Coumadin) and shivering. Everyone was cold and the air conditioning was turned on!

My dad adjusted the temp to warm it up in there. My uncle got mad, but we all told him to go out on the porch to cool off if he needed to. It really was way too cold in the house. I think if I was my parents' I would have to load up all my stuff and go stay at his house to get away from him. I think for Christmas I'll buy him his own personal fan (if I can find one this time of year).

 

[Anne34]

See, in our house, 70 is WAY too hot for the four of us. At 66 we wear shorts and t-shirts on a regular basis. DS#2 even walks around barefoot.

IMO at 66, no one should be so cold that putting on a sweater/sweatshirt or using a blanket couldn't warm them up to a comfortable temperature.

There is no right answer here... everyone just has to do what is right for them.

And as for providing special towels and individual soaps for guests..... NOPE not here. We are too fun loving and informal for such things. And we would not visit people if we felt we were disrupting their home and making them change the way they do things.

Different strokes, I guess.

I don't think you live in a cold climate. It is 68 in my house right now and I have on a sweat shirt, sweatpants and slippers and yes, I AM COLD!!! I often bump it up to 70 during the day becase I get cold. I can't imagine wearing shorts in winter.

If it was June and it was 66 and getting warmer (With nice warm, sunshine pouring through the window) I might put on capris and a t-shirt with a hoodie that I could take off as I warmed up.

I think 66 is way too cold to be comfortable. I would definately try to make my guest feel comfortable. I do get out clean towels (not special) for them and try to make them comfortable.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

I don't think you live in a cold climate.

It's 25º outside right now... the thermostat is set on 66º and I am sitting here at the computer in shorts and a t-shirt.

 

[RNMOM]

It's 25 here tonight. My house is set for 67 degrees and I am sitting here in long pants, tshirt, sweater, heavy socks and slippers and my space heater 3 feet away blasting on me and my right hand is cold. Left side is pretty warm...the side with the space heater.

I used to be warm all the time until last year. Now I am through menopause and have been diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis, fibro and possibly lupus. I am freezing nearly all the time. I am in so much pain when I get really cold that I can barely stand it. This from someone who wore only a light polar fleece jacket all winter and no gloves or hat. I went out tonight with my DH and had on a heavy coat with a hood and gloves and used a heavy polar fleece throw over my legs while I was on my scooter. I was fairly warm for a change. On a windy night I doubt that will be the case.

Temperature is so subjective. I think we all should try to make one another comfortable if it is possible without making others uncomfortable. I think both sides need a bit of flexability here.

 

[MELSMICE]

It's 25º outside right now... the thermostat is set on 66º and I am sitting here at the computer in shorts and a t-shirt.

It's 25 here tonight. My house is set for 67 degrees and I am sitting here in long pants, tshirt, sweater, heavy socks and slippers and my space heater 3 feet away blasting on me and my right hand is cold. Left side is pretty warm...the side with the space heater.

Temperature is so subjective. I think we all should try to make one another comfortable if it is possible without making others uncomfortable. I think both sides need a bit of flexability here.

Yes, from these 2 posts, it obviously is.

Another reason why I believe the OP could have compromised & set the thermostat at 68. Then, hopefully, both her & her FIL would have been somewhat comfortable instead of just creating an issue between them.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Another reason why I believe the OP could have compromised & set the thermostat at 68. Then, hopefully, both her & her FIL would have been somewhat comfortable instead of just creating an issue between them.

IMO, the FIL should have simply put on a sweater to avoid creating the issue between them. I can't believe people think that a guest should be able to dictate terms to a host. He did not ASK for a temperature adjustment. He took it upon himself.

If "guests" don't like the conditions in my home, then they can stay elsewhere! What if you have two different people visiting - one that is extremely cold, and one who is extremely hot? Do we have to ask ages and the older one gets their way?

My home is my home. The thermostat basically stays at 66º year round. (And we are in the midwest so that is no small thing!). The people that come to stay with us know this and pack accordingly.

 

[darlak]

One thing that has crossed my mind is that maybe the new towel/new soap crowd does not host guests as often as the more laid back crowd.

I am from the new towel/new soap mindset and I have frequent overnight visitors. We live an hour or so our of town and live in what started in 1920 as a one room cabin. It has grown considerably since that time, mostly by one or two room additions at a time. We're on waterfront property and equipped for all the usual water activities, so we have weekend guests quite often when the weather permits. I also keep extra beach towels and swimsuits handy.

I think perhaps I just don't see putting out new soap and guest towels as anything unusual or especially formal. We're pretty laid back here and in the summer; shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops are the usual attire. Guests are also welcome to bring their pets, as long as they are people and other pet friendly. I've stated in a previous post that I would change the thermostat to accommodate the comfort of my guests.

 

[FSUGrad97]

I am from the new towel/new soap mindset and I have frequent overnight visitors. We live an hour or so our of town and live in what started in 1920 as a one room cabin. It has grown considerably since that time, mostly by one or two room additions at a time. We're on waterfront property and equipped for all the usual water activities, so we have weekend guests quite often when the weather permits. I also keep extra beach towels and swimsuits handy.

I think perhaps I just don't see putting out new soap and guest towels as anything unusual or especially formal. We're pretty laid back here and in the summer; shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops are the usual attire. Guests are also welcome to bring their pets, as long as they are people and other pet friendly. I've stated in a previous post that I would change the thermostat to accommodate the comfort of my guests.

I agree! To me, opening a new bar of soap is NOT a big deal, and we frequently have visitors stay over.

I think it's just part of being a good hostess to make your guests comfortable, and that was how I was raised.

 

[MELSMICE]

IMO, the FIL should have simply put on a sweater to avoid creating the issue between them. I can't believe people think that a guest should be able to dictate terms to a host. He did not ASK for a temperature adjustment. He took it upon himself.

Yes, he could have compromised - they both could have. The thermostat could have gone from 66 to 68 (he wanted it at 70). FIL could have put on a sweather. OP could have kept herself cool by splashing water on her face, neck & hair occasionally, as she stated that is what keeps her cool.

When you choose to have guests in your home you really are also choosing to be inconvenienced somewhat - regardless of whether they are good houseguests or not.

 

[MELSMICE]

I agree! To me, opening a new bar of soap is NOT a big deal, and we frequently have visitors stay over.

I think it's just part of being a good hostess to make your guests comfortable, and that was how I was raised.

I also agree. We have had guests stay for more than a week at times. We even clear a few drawers out of my DD's room, a rack in the linen closet & a drawer in the bathroom. We are not rearranging the house, but making them comfortable.

My brother will be here with his family over Christmas for more than 2 weeks & I will make them as comfortable as possible. They should be made to feel like they are part of the family (which they are ) & not a burden to the hosts.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

They should be made to feel like they are part of the family (which they are ) & not a burden to the hosts.

See this is where the definition of "part of the family" varies from person to person. Our family does not expect (or like) special treatment. Our family likes to pull their weight, not be catered to, and not be in the way or change anyone's routine. Basically be left alone... to make their bed the way they want to.... to help cook.... to not leave a bunch of work behind when they leave.

It's just the way we were brought up.

 

[mookie]

We just got back from Thanksgiving in MI with my ds and her husband, and we had the same situation. My BIL likes his thermostat at 65 during the day, and 63 at night!!!!

We were staying with them for one night...we had our three kids, one is a year old and the other is an infant. My mom had talked to my sis and thought they might put it up a fewdegrees for us for ONE night...especially considering the baby.

But that didn't happen. And I expected it. So, I dressed my kids like they were going to be outside all day...layers, onesies, etc.

Yes, we were cold. Could I have complained? Probably, but we had already kind of hinted, and they didn't get it. If it were my house I would have accomodated the guests...to an extent. (I wouldn't turn it up to 80, for sure!) But since it didn't seem like they were budging, I just let it go...we already have enough to argue about.

But it was kind of funny seeing both of my sons in winter hats and mittens in the house!!

 

[ajk912]

I am pretty sure I did say at one point the thermostat is in the hallway away from sunlight, and my kids do run around the house half naked. So I do really think it over 66 in the house...

And it took 12 pages to make this declaration

 

[MELSMICE]

See this is where the definition of "part of the family" varies from person to person. Our family does not expect (or like) special treatment. Our family likes to pull their weight, not be catered to, and not be in the way or change anyone's routine. Basically be left alone... to make their bed the way they want to.... to help cook.... to not leave a bunch of work behind when they leave.

It's just the way we were brought up.

I don't know how you think being considerate to guests is giving them special treatment. They don't get any special treatment. They help cook, clean up, etc. just like any other person does. But........they are still guests.

In fact, when we stayed at my brothers during the summer I did a lot of the cooking. My SIL does not like to cook. When everyone was hungry I asked where the pots & pans were & got down to business. No big deal.

When we stay at my parents condo with them during the winter for a few days we make sure to replace any food we have used, along with dusting, vacumming, cleaning the bathrooms & washing all bedding & towels before we leave. Did the same at my brothers.

In both instances I felt very welcome & also felt very at home. It's always an open invite & I want it to remain that way - not burdensome for anyone, so we all pull our weight also.

 

[disykat]

It's not about soap. Many of us here have said our guests pitch in with the work. That doesn't mean we ignore their medical needs.

If it's simply not possible for the OP to host guests due to her own medical needs, then she shouldn't be having company.

 

[ajk912]

Hey, I am not forcing anyone to come visit me. If they would rather stay home or go to a hotel, that's fine too. IMO, it's a reasonable request to please dress for 66. There are many responses in this thread (going both ways) that people know that when they are visiting someone's house they must dress for whatever weather it will be there. Going along the lines of being a burden, at least for ME, that's the biggest way to make yourself a burden is by messing with my thermostat if I already told you not to. It's not I am asking for anything horrible unreasonable. Put on a sweatshirt or a sweater or a blanket, (or the fleece lined jeans he left next to his suitcase) you'll be fine. We have seen the threads on disboards with the more abnormal requests...no one is allowed to come to my house without getting a flu shot because of the baby, etc. Remember that thread? They don't even need to get a flu shot, just bring a sweater!

It's not about soap. Many of us here have said our guests pitch in with the work. That doesn't mean we ignore their medical needs.

If it's simply not possible for the OP to host guests due to her own medical needs, then she shouldn't be having company.